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I've been mulling over a similar question. Our 28th anniversary is coming up in February, and I'm planning a trip to Nashville for the wifey. I'd like to visit the club they have, but I'm not sure an anniversary weekend would be appropriate? She hasn't no, but sometimes she won't if she thinks I really want to do something. I kinda feel like an anniversary should just be a special time for two, but then again, it would be our first club visit, so what's more intimately charging than that?

What does her husband have to say about this? Is he aware of her predeliction towards being dominated? If he doesn't know, he has a problem. If he does and he's OK with it, YOU have a communication problem with your husband. If his interaction with this woman is causing you discomfort and/or flat out jealousy, you should tell your husband and insist that he cool it. If he doesn't than you have a HUGE problem in your marriage that must be addressed immediately. On another note: Unless sex is purely mechanical fucking, kissing is part of foreplay, and kissing and cuddling in the afterglow of sharing a pleasurable sexual experience is quite a normal experience. You two do it I would assume. When we play, Mrs Doc has seen me engage in foreplay and use the same sexual techniques that we share together. She enjoys watching and somehow sharing the feelings of arousal and pleasure the other woman is enjoying. Much like I completely enjoy watching her kiss and rub her boobs on a guy while throwing her leg across his thigh or sliding her head down his body to take his dick into her mouth. I KNOW how good that feels and the best part is that I KNOW she'll end the evening with me in our bed (sometimes after changing the sheets). You need to understand that swinging is about sharing erotic times with others. In the course of that and for a brief time, another woman WILL be taking your place in pleasuring your husband as will the guy with you. If that concept is a problem then maybe swinging isn't the hobby for you. My other point is that if you choose to continue swinging, you may want to consider that your rules about kissing and cuddling may be a bit too restrictive and could be modified. Of course, that should happen only after you and your husband address and fix the major issues you seem to be having. Good luck with that!

If he's not on this site with you, and isn't reading what you just posted, I suggest you copy/paste it to an email and send it to him. The two of you need to discuss this issue now.

This is probably a very painful lesson for you. It could have been very, very expensive. I'd suggest you put swinging activities on hiatus for a while and fix your marriage. Trust is a lot easier to maintain than it is to rebuild and you have a lot of work to do.

Fast forward to now... I ended it with the girl yesterday. We ended up getting strong feelings for each other, which I was in denial about, but my wife saw it for months. She would come over when my wife was out and we would spend 6-7 hours together watching movies, etc. I had myself and my wife convinced we were just "friends". I should have listened to everyone warning me about it.

Whew! I'm so grateful for all of your posts, as I learned so much leading up to our first time. All I can say is, what on earth took me so long!? My partner and I are a relatively new couple, only 4 years in, but we've known each other on and off since we were children. He has been in the lifestyle for 20 years, but has been monogamish with me since we've been together. It became very clear, very early on, that he would prefer for us to have a sexually diverse future together. Having just come out of a poly marriage, I was hesitant. I mean, I had every excuse in the book. I had no interest in another cock, I had no interest in eating pussy, I was slightly terrified that it would tear us apart like it did my marriage, that I couldn't handle it, that my cellulite is gross, that we were too early on in our relationship, that we would contract some horrific STD, that I would burst into tears mid-fuckery...all of it. We're so spoiled rotten with the hot sex that we have daily, why, WHYYYY did we need to do this!? He gently listened through all the freakouts, while still encouraging me to manage our AFF account and 'just talk to people'. So in the end, it was me who ended up making the plans. Smart man, keeping his ass in line so nothing could come back on him if it went poorly~ ha! We live in a very small town, with no clubs available, so we ended up planning a weekend at a hotel with perfect strangers. While they were lovely, it did not exactly go smoothly~ an unexpected STD reveal, the dreaded ED, and my not being terribly attracted to the guy even though he was super sweet, intelligent and attractive. That said, it was hot. Having someone have sex on the same bed as us, us women playing, and quite frankly, to see my man with another woman was out of control sexy. To add all sorts of whipped cream on top, the woman joined us on her own the following day which was...oh my. Anywho~ what I learned is this. I am desperately in love with this man, and he is hopelessly in love with me. Now that we have officially begun swinging, I can say with the utmost certainty that we are even stronger. To be able to express our desires without fear, to push past hurdles with clear communication, and to truly be on the same team is so fucking cool. I felt so cared for during our time with this other couple. His glances at me, checking in. The squeeze of my hand while he was passionately kissing another woman...and oh dear god the sex we've had for days afterwards. I'm sure there are all sorts of nightmare stories, and we are lucky to have had a great first experience. I do have to say, I am damn proud of myself for deciding to jump in. It has awoken a part of me that I didn't realize existed. It has enriched my relationship with my partner, and opened up a whole new world of passion and desire. Because hell if any of us should deny ourselves conscious and respectful pleasure. The only reason not to, is fear. Fuck fear.

During Thanksgiving we spend the week at HEDO II in Jamaica. Christmas eve there is a long running family party that we always go to, but there are a few swingers, extended family members, that are there that all we do is talk to. And we have never swung with

“I'm not sure an anniversary weekend would be appropriate?” Is one’s anniversary appropriate? I’ve had sex with five women on their wedding nights and only three of them were my brides. And I know another couple who hosted an orgy the night following their nuptials.

Oh boy. So much to consider! Here's just a few thoughts: 1) If you want to be licensed (liquor), best way is to purchase an existing business (like a night club or restaurant) that has a license you can purchase along with the physical building. If you apply for a liquor license after you secure your physical location, you can bet the city/municipality will thwart you at every turn. (if you are licensed, a good portion of your income will come from bar sales... without that, you have to charge more at the door to pay your bills... ppl seem put off by high admission prices, but less so for a cash bar) 2) If you have a 'friend' or supporter on city council or other municipal office, things could go smoother. 3) Don't try to open such a business in plain view. (on main street, in residential areas or high traffic areas) 4) Watch zoning (that's the easiest way to shut down a business ppl don't want in their neighbourhood). 5) Don't try to do it 'under the table' (without business plan, licenses, etc)That's just stressful and easy enough to get you shut down. 6) Do your research... is there already such a business in your area? Are they turning people away each night? If so, then there MAY be room for your business too. But if they are half full each night, another business will just divide the attendees, and neither business will prosper. 7) Look perhaps for warehouse space, or space in an industrial park. One place I've been to is no bigger than a 2 bedroom apartment in an industrial park, where no businesses are open at night when they are, so the neighbours don't care and there is plenty of parking right at their front door. There is no residential areas nearby so no problem with petitions and such. And the smaller rooms just make for a smaller, more intimate party. They only need 40 couples to be full, and don't have any trouble doing so. They also only host events 4 nights a month (3 Sat's, 1 Fri) and the rest of the calendar gets filled by member bookings (either for private play, or to host their own parties) that way the owners don't have to do all the work every Fri AND Sat... gives them a break and time to play if they wish. Just some input, hope it helps! (I could go on... there is so much to consider but these are the ones top of my mind) Good luck in your endeavour!!

My wife had a friend who wanted to mix it up with her then boyfriend, and got some whipped cream to make a "special sundae". I guess sometimes while experimenting, you may get more than you bargained for. Apparently the friend got a nasty yeast infection soon there after that evening of "kinky desserts"! So we hesitate to get too wacky based on her friend's ill advised experience.

Bed post, it Took a while and lots of lube but eventually fit

I Nice that in this case everyone’s varied desires are able to be met. This is just one of the advantages of swinging.

If he went down on you, he knew, and didn't care.

Actually, that you think you are a 'bigger' woman is the exact reason you NEED to go to a club. Too many people think that they can't swing (or are hesitant to start) because of some self perceived body issue. Once you finally get out and look, you will quickly find that you are not the 'worst' person (or couple) out there...the others are not just the 'pretty people', but people just like you. The second thing you will find is that there are people that are still interested in you (believe it or not ). There are dozens of threads here (search is your friend) that will show the same thing. Once you overcome whatever 'issue' you think you have and go out and look, you will realize that you are just fine and that others don't even notice some of the 'deal breakers' you thought you had. Swinging is one of the greatest things that can happen to ones own self worth. The only proplem is you won't really believe until you try...so try already (and thank me later). Good luck and let us know how you are doing.