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We can offer a few observations. --Make sure that both you and your spouse are on the same page--how far you want to take things. We wrote about this in an essay at this site a couple of years ago. It's more than "definitely interested in playing with. Here are our three points before going on the second date: 1. What are our fantasies? We are doing this for fun and with each other. We are going to blur the line between fantasy and reality. What does that look like? 2. What are our intentions? What is the reality of what we are going to do together? How much exploration do we plan? 3. What are our boundaries? Are we clear on what we will do together and what we expect of each other? What does approaching a limit look like, and what will we do if-and-when either of us gets there? --Make that second date flexible and yet with a clear intention, for example..."How about dinner on Saturday? We were planning a light meal at our place. The hot tub is warmed up, too. What, if any, dietary restrictions or preferences do you have?" That last part turns out to be useful because you have made clear that you are concerned about and respectful of any restrictions or preferences they have in one domain of their lives, and you are likely to be just as respectful in other domains. Yes, this matters. --Regardless of whether you are at a restaurant, or at home, or wherever, make the invitation clear AND give the other couple some time/space to decide. If we're at a restaurant, we'll make the invitation and then Mrs. FL will need to use the ladies' room and I will excuse myself to make a quick phone call. This gives the other couple the option of speaking with each other or the Mrs can follow Mrs. FL to the ladies' room for a private conversation. Either way it gives the other couple a bit of breathing room. If we're at home, while we're carrying dinner dishes from the table, we'll simply ask whether they would prefer dessert indoors or out on the deck by the hot tub. Again, it puts the ball in their court and allows them to make the decision. The general idea is to make your intention clear and yet give them a way to gracefully decline. --Assuming things are progressing, this is a good time to ask about their restrictions/boundaries and to tell them yours. --Patience is a virtue.

Very simply say, "We like you guys. Would you care to come home with us?" Or to a private room at a club, or a hotel room or whatever. They'll get the idea. Someone in the group needs to be a little aggressive; else nothing is ever going to happen.

Since you know the other couple has been swinging for a year, I'll assume the subject of swinging has come up. Very often couples spend an evening talking about any subject other than swinging, never broaching the subject you are all thinking about. Preparation: Go out to dinner. Sit at a square table with the men and women across from each other. American "double-date" etiquette calls for wives to sit to their husband's right which places Mrs. Playmate across the table from you, beyond reach both physically and mentally. Change that in the interest of more open communication. Your wife should put the following into her own words. "We've talked a lot about swinging. We understand the issues and believe we can cope with them. We'd like to have our first experience with y'all. Our kids are at Grandma's for the weekend. Would y'all like to come over to our house, swap partners and have sex?" Sit quietly and wait for an answer. "First one to talk loses." Even if you get a positive answer, the social barriers won't be eliminated. Laura and I once invited Rick and Jo to our house. Both couples had agreed to swing. Nevertheless, we sat on our sectional, Jo beside me and Laura beside Rick, talking about books, movies, the latest recipes, etc. "Do y'all know any good ice-breakers?" asked Rick. "Kissing does it for me," replied Laura. "HUH?" said Rick. "If you were to kiss me, I think any ice you're feeling would melt away." She was right.

There are some incredible hotels along A1A in South Florida. The "W" comes to mind. Haulover beach is a few minutes away and Trapeze is a 20 minute Uber ride. You can have naked days on a white beach and in warm blue water, playful swinging nights at an upscale club thats open Wed-Sun while sleeping in the lap of luxury. Flights to FLL or MIA are generally cheaper than Mexico. With the recent safety and security problems in Mexico and the usual crime concerns in Jamaica, South Florida seems a viable option.

As I mentioned I grew up in an atmosphere where no matter what religion, race or nationality you were all people were the same. I have a disgust for people with prejudices. When I went away to college I met many people from different cities, states and countries. I met many people with many different backgrounds. Maybe I was brought up to be tolerant of other’s beliefs but I can’t be tolerant of people with hate. I have no desire to be with haters and certainly will not be sexual with a hater.