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When we were online we got the line "We don't think we're a match" and we used it ourselves. It's disappointing sure but that seems to be the generally accepted line that says there really isn't any interest without having to explain further. I don't know that it ever hurt our feelings. Another reason we like the clubs. All these things get sorted out quickly. You get rejected, you move on. It's like going up to the hottest girl at the dance and asking her if she wants to dance. If she says no you move on to the next one til you find a dance partner. When we meet another couple or even a single guy but don't feel like we are compatible I'll take the lead and say something like "I think we are going to go mingle around the club a bit." We've had it said to us. It's kind of a signal that things aren't going to progress, we're moving on...and that's what we do whether we are the ones rejecting or being rejected. Part of it is learning to manage expectations. We never go out with any expectations that we are going to hook up. We expect to have a good time and we hope to hook up, that's why we go but we've learned not to expect a hookup. That way we don't leave upset if it doesn't happen. The worst is that are disappointed it didn't happen that night. It usually means we'll be making another visit fairly soon. Get back on the horse so to speak.

Hey! I'd like to know what do you do when you are with your wife/gf and other man and you cannot control it. Do you continue or do you stop? Do you watch them? What's your opinion?

We have been swinging for 4 years and love it. I have found it's always been more about me watching than doing. When we go out I would rather watch my wife with a couple (m or f) or solo with a m or f. I also enjoy her sexting and sending pics to others. We have found success and happiness with his all because of communication- both between us and when meeting others. I hate the term 'cuck' because I'm not into humiliation. Anyone else like me?

Hi, I'm on here having had one recent swinging experience. I've always been somewhat unconventional in my lifestyle and that includes attitudes towards relationships, e.g. I've never been married or wanted to get married, I've lived alone most of my life and not had any long term relationships that have been successful.. but I am always happy being single. All my friends are married, & I've always wondered if people must be so bored after years & years of sleeping with the same person. . I've never been in love so I'm maybe biased, but I do think it's an unspoken thing in our society & people think it's a taboo subject that people do get bored of each other sexually in long term relationships but no-one really talks about what might be a solution to this.. & now I'm thinking non monogamy is perhaps a way never to get bored ! ? ?

Sex with the same person year after years gets boring and predictable. That's why people "swing" ! Accepting this reality can keep a marriage together. There are advantages to being married but sex isn't one of them.

They're just trying to attract the younger crowd with the promise of parties and the chance of hooking up. Not L/S friendly at all. Topless is not allowed, let alone nudity or PDA. Originally Breathless RM (the new hotel next to Desire RM) was trying a similar marketing plan (an all-adult beachfront playground offering endless possibilities!) and even advertised that going topless was allowed (still is but moved to one of the more remote pools and anyone taking off their top instantly causes phones to come out and pictures to be taken...blood in the water and a pool full of piranhas). It's all marketing to try and get the 20-somethings to come "party" (ie: spend their money and hope to get laid). Stick to a place that you know what you are getting and you will have a much better time.

I don’t think we are not a match is hurtful, it’s clear not interested. Being busy may invite them to try later. I find if I say more of why not, usually age or distance, the other parties try to continue the conversation to convince me. Some people never respond to my messages, fine. I am curious about being disinvited to a party. Now if you called someone a stupid cunt, some guy did that to me, that’s worthy of a disinvite.

Agreed. Nothing is more erotic than watching another man mount her and the second his cock enters her, all barriers are down and it is like watching a great art work unfold.

I applied for one of the dinners, included a photo and SLS info. I was accepted but then somehow they didn’t receive my picture and wanted another. My mail history showed clearly the photo had been sent. It didn’t feel right so I passed. What is notable is no one from this board has ever said they went and it was good. The couple in the podcast - did they pay for it or was it comped as publicity? Maybe it depends upon the source.

When we first started there was some expectation on my wife's part that I be completely in tune with what was going on with her at all times. She needed that security. The first time we swapped I ended up apologizing to the other couple because I knew I had not been as attentive to my swap partner as I could/should have been. However, I found that I really enjoyed watching/listening to my wife even more than I anticipated. In fact I told her that night that watching her was better than any porn I have ever seen. I still feel that way but because she is more relaxed I don't feel the pressure to be 100% in tune with her 100% of the time. That allows me to enjoy even more. Now I can process and enjoy what's going on with her peripherally while giving my swap partner the attention she deserves and receive it as well. Less tunnel vision I guess you'd say. We can be physically separated but in close proximity for soft swap activities so that we can watch each other(it turns us on) but when the condoms come out I'll get myself into position where we are close enough to touch and if the positioning allows it, to have eye contact.

There's no reason that you can't do both and enjoy both. That's what I like and it's sensory overload, in a good way. Watching my wife banging another man and being in another pussy either at the same time or afterwards is heaven.

Impossible to choose. The most recent was last March. Was invited to join a married couple who wanted several males to enjoy. The husband was bi as was I and the other man they invited. Between taking turns fucking her the guys fluffed each other. At one point the other two men were sucking her nipples and caressing her all over while I gave her head. Later she mounted the husband in reverse so the other man & I could give them head together.

First night alone with the third couple in a hotel getaway. Mrs. E had been pretty uncertain about them, we had soft-swapped with them once but she didn't know them well and was nervous about whether or not we'd hit it off the same way. Climax of round 1 ended up being the four of us across the king-size bed, her on her back with the other husband standing on one edge in her mouth, the other wife on her hands and knees licking Mrs. E, and me standing behind the other wife. At some point, she turned around and asked me to take off the condom and cum on her, which got Mrs. E to stop and pay attention. I end up shooting all over this woman's stomach while she's laying in Mrs. E's lap, and the look on Mrs. E's face told me what was going to happen next: she got on her own hands and knees and told the other husband to get a condom. The three of us, me, her, and the other wife were making out when he came. Lot of worrying for nothing, great night.

I love when the wife will give me oral and then help me slowly slide my dick with all her juices on it into her husbands ass...bareback style (safe/trusting couple of course) and then pounding him, slapping that ass and then busting the biggest nut into his ass while she watches and pleases herself.

I agree the nights where everyone clicks, no questions, or I am sorry, everything just happens and you go home with a smile and wake up with a smile