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And the correct answer is....... "And I don't want to know thank you!"

Several years ago we met a couple on a cruise and we traded spouses in separate rooms. Our first, they said theirs too. I had a great time and we have kept our friendship up, going on other trips with them. That first trip the husband’s pushed us to have girl on girl fun. I hated it. Not for me. We have visited them a few times, they have become more of a swinger couple than we are. We have played at some parties they have had and had limited girl play. Even with men I prefer being alone and not have sex for others to watch. Over Christmas they came to visit us. We do play together though at night we still switch and go to separate rooms. When we are all together there is some play between me and my friend. Kissing and touching and her doing more than I will. One night the men wanted to go to a game in the city and we didn’t want to. We stayed home. It led to my first time alone with her. I will say not being watched helped.

Aside from all the multitude of posts & threads recently about the risks / dangers of playing with friends... Since your wife is "good at bringing things up", perhaps you could find a way that leads up to the question: "What are your views on non-monogamy?" ... or something to that effect. ... Or perhaps you've already done that. (It is not clear to me yet.) You said: "The female side of the couple was VERY interested and asking a lot of questions." ... What kind of questions? ... About what? Views on non-monogamy are a very quick and easy dividing line. If they do not run for the door screaming, y'all may be able to have a discussion about it. Be honest. (That always works... mostly.) Perhaps be clear that you are (relatively?) new, just curious, and not necessarily looking for play partners (Or whatever truth applies to you, appropriately.). ... Always leave them an easy "escape route", should the conversation begin to get awkward, which is usually best alleviated by some humor. ... "Yeah, we thought it was a silly idea too." ... Move on. If they seem interested in the concept of the Swinger Lifestyle, encourage them to visit this BBS. If there is a better resource for learning about that topic, I would like to know about it. And... The better educated everyone is, the better your chances are for good results. An abundance of patience is pretty much a necessity. It may take weeks or months for them to process it all, before they are ready to discuss it again... if ever. Another approach, either along with or completely separate from the suggestions posted here could be for the wives to have a conversation, without the guys around (say a "Lunch Date", or an afternoon tea, perhaps hosted at your house, for discussion privacy). The other wife can then go back and report / discuss with her husband in the privacy of their own home. One thing is for sure... If you do not "put yourself out there" at some point, you will NEVER get past "just wishing". (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) :"> Also... There are other threads on this BBS that basically discuss this same topic... If you can find them, you may find some additional help there as well. Good Luck! ... Let us know what happens. :-)

Hello NYC! Finding a guy on line is how you want to do it. Look over sites to find one that has the type of connection you seek. Craigslist used to have a specific breakdown of nsa hookup variations. That was good because you want your ad to be specific. A wide net will flood your inbox. A narrow net will flood your inbox as well but make it easier to cull. Specific title to start "Couple seeks respectful male for ongoing fwb relationship". Now, that will bring in the hordes. In the body, list specific needs and request how these needs will be fulfilled. This forces the replier to read and write. Grade his writing like a 7th grade English teacher. Low quality writing tells a story you don't need to hear. Ignoring your needs, means he can't fulfill them or didn't read the ad. Either way..delete. Your ad will be long, too long for most to read to the end. Toward the end, but not right at the end, put a sentence, "in the subj of replies, enter blue or your reply will not be opened". ANY reply without your keyword needs to be deleted without opening. Trust me on this. Now you can go thru the few remaining, and look for red flags. Start a conversation with the ones you like, do this together. Do not send pictures but you can request them. When you finally connect, keep your time together minimal and sex based. We (I) made the mistake of befriending the high quality guy we decided on. We took him on vacations and such. I could have easily lost my wife to him. Very rich, very good looking, very big dick that could fuck for hours, very in love with my wife. Love was the only thing that kept my under-endowed broke-ass with her. And lastly, enjoy ! btw, ALL the advise given was learned the hard way, before we found this site. Also, a pay site will work way better than our method which was craigslist. Low population kinda forced our hand, better luck to you.

I have no membership at AFF so will, regretfully, not be able to view your profile or make recommendations. Although I would not state it as forcefully as padoc, I agree with the sentiment he expressed. AFF is problematic is several ways. My wife and I quit the site several years ago. In general, we believe that racy photos are not needed. If you decide to include racy photos, I advise no close-ups of genitalia (most especially no dick pics).

I'd suggest you get off AFF and go to one of the pay swinger sites that cover Florida, SDC or SLS. While there are flakes on every site, AFF seems to be the market standard.

Adding my two cents worth...first of all, ED can cause serious confidence problems, which leads to even more difficulty getting it up. ED drugs work VERY well for helping these people, myself included. They ALWAYS worked for me! My experience, for what it's worth...I have used Viagra and Cialis both recreationally and as I got/get older, used it because I needed it. Recreationally (when I was younger) Cialis wasn't out yet. The Viagra worked VERY well, gave me a rock hard cock, and I could go forever! I did have side effects though. The most common were headaches, flushing, and esophageal reflux (heartburn). I switched to Cialis and also had great results, even for an old fart. I found the side effects disappeared! The girlfriend and I would go at it for 4,5,6 hours, getting hard MANY times, but only cumming about two times, which isn't a problem for me because sex feels good even when you don't cum. Of course, even better when you do, but my girlfriend was not complaining! One note regarding repeated use mentioned earlier in this thread...Cialis (low dose 5mg) is actually approved for daily dosing so you can be ready to go at moments notice! This was recommended by my doctor, however, I dont. If I know for sure I'm going to have sex on a specific day, I'll start taking it 3-4 days ahead. By the way, ED drugs are also indicated for BPH (Benign Prostatic Hypertrophy - peeing too much, especially at night). So, double the positive effects, especially for old guys like me. You have to use it every day though for effective treatment for BPH. I want to talk about priapism, mentioned earlier in this thread, and the fact that Pharma companies put that in there. They are required by the FDA (in the USA) to report and communicate ANY side effects found during testing before it is put on the market. There is a serious reason why they put the 4 hour hard on rule into effect. So no conspiracy! Prapism is a VERY serious problem that you don't want for sure! Let me relay a personal experience... I was in the emergency department for an unrelated illness, which turned out to be cancer, but that's a whole other story. I was separated by only a curtain from the bed beside me. A younger couple came in and they were joking about how they had sex the night before and he still had a stiffy. The doctor came in, told them the blood in his penis had become congealed, what the procedure was to alleviate it, AND, he would NEVER have any erection again! NOT something to laugh about! Anyway, I hope that shines a light on the use of ED medication. Cheers, HornyToronto

WELCOME to Swingersboard. I hope that the interactions you have here and the information available here are useful. I recommend that you do not think on the question of whether or not getting into a swing relationship with friends is wise. That is not the important question for your situation. Swing seldom helps a married relationship that is (to use your own word) struggling. It is not unusual for sex to slow down as a married relationship matures. You mentioned, however, a life event that you believe changed the frequency and quality of sex? Are there issues still to be resolved that are the result of this event? Wishing you well.

When we first attempted to meet a couple we were very nervous. We didn’t post pictures and were careful when we sent any picture by email. We joined sites that were free. We were afraid to let our real info be public. We didn’t realize that many real people would write us because we were free. It makes much more sense now. We got plenty of men to write us. Not what we were looking for. There were couples that seemed real that never showed up for real meetings. We would get pictures of men and their cocks and women with spread legs. We learned to throw those people to the don’t bother pile. We even had phone calls with couples that never showed. It became a game of real or fake with us. We figured out all were fake. We continued to play the game. To us it was fun and always led to a night of sex alone. We were amazed when the 20something couple wrote to us. Sent us real pictures fully clothed and we sent the same. Not trusting them we asked for a picture with them and a newspaper. They sent back a nude of them holding that day’s paper. Picture was too good and the guy had a huge one. Linda said it was bullshit. We tried to see if it was a photoshop. For sure were being punk’d. Why would they want us. We are way older. We were sure they wouldn’t show up. We were prepared for a no show. They showed. It wasn’t perfect. It was our first.

LOL... this reminds me of a time we were in a club and playing in a "dungeon" type area. Another couple came and played, they motioned for me/us to go over. I did, but then got trapped in between a table the lady was on and her guy standing behind me (issue 1-- not a fan of confinement/lack of escape routes), the woman was rude to my husband (issue 2-- I am tend to be protective of him), the guy starting fingering me, but was going in/near ass then vagina (possibly by accident) and his hands reeked of nicotine (huge turn off for me) [issue 3-- duh], and, finally, the guy put my hand on his penis (over clothes). I felt his penis was larger than I like (I prefer small to average penis size)). So that was issue 4 and code word to my husband that it was time for us to go. The guy did not take it well. I was walking away after saying whatever I said to get out of the situation, and he was laughing to his wife saying "Ahhh, look, she is scared". Ohhhh.... that pissed me off. Took everything in me not to wheel around and give him a piece of my mind. I chose not to engage and continued walking away.

When I politely decline please don’t tell me I don’t know what I will be missing. That is a big turn off, I know myself well enough and any not now becomes not ever.