Hello NYC!
Finding a guy on line is how you want to do it. Look over sites to find one that has the type of connection you seek. Craigslist used to have a specific breakdown of nsa hookup variations. That was good because you want your ad to be specific. A wide net will flood your inbox. A narrow net will flood your inbox as well but make it easier to cull. Specific title to start "Couple seeks respectful male for ongoing fwb relationship". Now, that will bring in the hordes.
In the body, list specific needs and request how these needs will be fulfilled. This forces the replier to read and write. Grade his writing like a 7th grade English teacher. Low quality writing tells a story you don't need to hear. Ignoring your needs, means he can't fulfill them or didn't read the ad. Either way..delete.
Your ad will be long, too long for most to read to the end. Toward the end, but not right at the end, put a sentence, "in the subj of replies, enter blue or your reply will not be opened". ANY reply without your keyword needs to be deleted without opening. Trust me on this. Now you can go thru the few remaining, and look for red flags.
Start a conversation with the ones you like, do this together. Do not send pictures but you can request them.
When you finally connect, keep your time together minimal and sex based. We (I) made the mistake of befriending the high quality guy we decided on. We took him on vacations and such. I could have easily lost my wife to him. Very rich, very good looking, very big dick that could fuck for hours, very in love with my wife. Love was the only thing that kept my under-endowed broke-ass with her.
And lastly, enjoy !
btw, ALL the advise given was learned the hard way, before we found this site. Also, a pay site will work way better than our method which was craigslist. Low population kinda forced our hand, better luck to you.