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We started playing later. Married in our 30's and were strictly mono until we were empty nesters with grandchildren. We have talked about whether we should have started playing earlier in life. For us the answer is NO. At each stage, young marrieds, parents of small children, homeschooling parents of teenagers,caregivers to aging parents we were living the life that best suited our roles in life. We were always very playful together, but kept the division between our home and the world. Now that those times are past we feel like branching out and so far it has been seamless. We are learning new things about ourselves and each other at a rate unheard of since the NRE of almost 40 years ago. It is exhilarating. We would not change any of it. That however is just us. We have , what are now very close friends our age that have been at this for decades, they are also content with how it has played out for them. If I were to make recommendations to anyone it would be, to be who you are supposed to be for wherever you are in your life's journey, and that is something only you can judge.

Einstein came out with his papers on mass–energy equivalence and his paper which explained the photoelectric effect when he was 26 (that helped spawned the birth of quantum mechanics). He spent a large part of the rest of his life trying to disprove his own theories since E = mc2 does not equal 1 (God does not play with dice). If he only was able to solve his Unified field theory, then we would probably all be driving flying cars (I was promised flying cars when I was a kid...where are my flying cars?).

My wife and I were always open about our past sexual exploits and we talked about former lovers, what we liked and didn't, who did something special, etc. It sometimes really got us going. Finally, I told her that if she wanted to fuck the good ones again, I was fine with it. So after two years, she took me up on it. And THAT really got us going.

Hi all, We are a couple in Switzerland. Recently we had our first experience of involving others in the bedroom, in the form of one of those chat roulette sites that allow you to share your web cam, and see the person or couple you are randomly connected to. We, and a couple we connected with, were very turned on by the experience but one seems to spend more time trying to dodge seedy guys stroking their dicks than actual erotic play. We're not ready to a face to face meet with another couple yet and really would like to try the web cam thing in a bit more of a focused, friendly setting. We are certainly not ready for a club yet, however the only other way I can think of for finding like minded couples is sites like SLS but it's kind of hard to find people happy with just web experiences on those - everyone on these sites seems to be more progressed in the lifestyle than we are. There aren't many people in our country on these sites anyway, not that it really matters too much for web cam fun. Anyone got any tips?

We are in Pittsburgh. I suggest DJs Island.

Hmmm, now how ever did this thread escape my attention all of these years. I don't know but here is my answer. My wife brought the idea of seing to my attention. We had been married for about seven years at the time. She asked, "would you want to do something like that?" It was a lightning bolt out of a clear, blue sky. My mind raced. I suspected it was a trick question. But a little voice in my head spoke to me, "the truth will set you free." So without qualification I said yes.

You can find information about DJ's Island Very Private Club, Party at Scouts, and the Body Shop Pittsburgh at this Web page: Pennsylvania Clubs. I have seen single woman at each one of these clubs, typically one or two at a party. These singles are also, however, typically of age group older than yours. I might suggest that many of the women who are at a club with their spouses, SOs, or manfriends are looking to play on their own. Going to a club is fun even when you do not make a hookup. And you will have a chance to meet people and talk to them; ask them questions. My personal observations and opinion: DJ's Island is the classiest; Body Shop Pittsburgh has the youngest clientelle.

Our first followed lots of drinking and some strip games with one of her friends. We were very close and had been friends for a couple of years. Once we were nude, the girls wanted to tease me. They started touching my cock and I got hard quick. My wife started to suck my cock while her friend held my shaft. She asked my wife if she could help so they both worked on my. My hands were full of tits and ass. My wife asked her to take pictures of us fucking. It was such a rish having someone there. I shot my load pretty quick and my wife told her to get me hard again and that she wanted to watch us. She got on top and fucked me hard while my wife kissed her and feltsbher tits. She had a powerful orgasm and we played for an hour or so afterwards. We slept together and played again in the morning. Fortunately things never got weird and we are still close.

Google DJ's Island. We've had some really fun saturday nights there.

My wife and I dived into the pool heads-first: full-swap, no condoms, kissing not disallowed, full-steam ahead, full-fun enabled. That was eighteen years ago and we have never regretted it. P.S. I can think of no other analogies or similes that I can strain.

My wife always likes guys to cum inside her, either that or she will swallow lol. She doesn't like the mess....

The reason for swinging is variety and to enjoy things that you don't have at home. Both my wife and I get jealous because we're having sex with other people. But we actually like that feeling now and just end up loving one another more and fucking each other's brains out afterwards.

It's normal. The beginning of it is always kinda difficult to handle it. But when I saw my gf going crazy with him, I didn't feel any jealosy at all. Watching her enjoying that moment was amazing.

I am kind of a joker at work so I can mix things like that in. "So what cha doing this weekend?" "Well, me and the SO was thinking about inviting some people over this weekend for an orgy, what cha doing?". Everyone kind of laughs and then they ask "no, seriously".

If you try this out and find it causes serious problems you didn't expect, at least you have your communication. You aren't going in blind. A bad experience would probably have minimal effect on your relationship. Sex carries a lot of weight. Taking that step is huge for a couple. Afterward at home, talking about your night, is where the truth comes out. Many couples decide at that point it isn't for them. Many couples find themselves thinking how many years were wasted before doing this. You just don't know till ya try, but I think you guys are safe to find out.

Wife brought up the idea to me about 3-4 months ago. I was hesitant, lurked on this site for quite a while, dreading the bad stories, loving the good ones. We took the dive early december, soft swap ladies only. It didn't work as planned, but we talked and talked and talked, full discussion about everything we want from this. Last weekend was the second attempt, soft swap with possibility of more. I caved on my boundaries minutes in (loving the was she was enjoying herself), we broke boundaries and loved the whole thing. We discussed and played with each other after, repeated the next day (our play couple lives close) and had even more fun. This is the beginning of something wonderful. The things I have learned about her and she of me are groundbreaking after nearly 15 years together. We have turned into nudists of sorts and don't hide pleasing ourselves or looking at porn from one another. I know her fantasies and want to help fulfill all of them and she mine.

Thanks for that bit of info, EastInWest. I wasn’t aware of prolactin and its suppressive effect on erection. I’m in my early 70s and take 25mg of Viagra when attending sex parties. That enables me to have two or three good erections over the course of an evening. I’ll use it sometimes when my wife and I are having sex to ensure a good erection. When I was younger — 20s and 30s — and with a woman who I was very turned on to, my post orgasmic refractory period was 0. I could have an orgasm with ejaculation and then continue on immediately without losing my erection. This was a pleasant surprise to partners who didn’t necessarily achieve orgasm easily through intercourse, but preferred that to other methods, as it meant they could relax and not worry that I might cum first and leave them stranded — or having to get off orally, manually or with a vibrator. (Those days are long gone... )

When we first started there was some expectation on my wife's part that I be completely in tune with what was going on with her at all times. She needed that security. The first time we swapped I ended up apologizing to the other couple because I knew I had not been as attentive to my swap partner as I could/should have been. However, I found that I really enjoyed watching/listening to my wife even more than I anticipated. In fact I told her that night that watching her was better than any porn I have ever seen. I still feel that way but because she is more relaxed I don't feel the pressure to be 100% in tune with her 100% of the time. That allows me to enjoy even more. Now I can process and enjoy what's going on with her peripherally while giving my swap partner the attention she deserves and receive it as well. Less tunnel vision I guess you'd say. We can be physically separated but in close proximity for soft swap activities so that we can watch each other(it turns us on) but when the condoms come out I'll get myself into position where we are close enough to touch and if the positioning allows it, to have eye contact.

There's no reason that you can't do both and enjoy both. That's what I like and it's sensory overload, in a good way. Watching my wife banging another man and being in another pussy either at the same time or afterwards is heaven.

Completely common and totally normal. I wouldn't say I'd "rather" watch, but the Mrs giving or receiving oral is definitely a turnon. Terms that might be more relevant than "cuckold" play are hotwifing and stag/vixen.

SW_PA_Couple, With all due respect, I have to disagree. To us, there's nothing wrong with another lover giving my lover a memorable time. Sometimes--maybe even many times--sex with a first-time partner can be so-so. After all, the couple doesn't know each other, and they don't know what makes the other person have a mind-blowing experience. With one memorable lover, it took us two times in bed (plus one sexy play in a shower before the second time, which included lots of foreplay and intercourse, though not to orgasm) before we had terrific sex. So, first-time sex between two people can be great, but not always. If my partner had terrific sex with a new lover--and newness can easily add to the equation--I'd be happy. Did she orgasm more often than normal or stronger or louder than she usually does? If so, great (I'd hope for that to happen in a moresome). And I'd like to know the details of what the new partner(s) did to drive her to that ecstasy (unless it was just the novelty of a new lover who didn't use any new techniques). Newness can be a great turn-on, but that doesn't necessarily mean the new partner was better, requiring a "sex is better with you" response, even of the moresome encounter rocked her world. Sex with a new partner could be OK, it could be good, or it could be terrific. After a moresome, my partner would come home with me. That's the most important thing, as I'm sure you know. :-) During the moresome play, I'd love hearing her moan and orgasm with another or others, even if she made sounds not usually made in bed with me. I really dislike lying (even white lies). If my partner just had great-great sex, I'd want to know about it as much as possible (I might be an older dog, but I can still learn some new tricks ). That wouldn't change her love for me, which is the most important thing. SW_PA_Couple, if If misunderstood your comment, I apologize. Best wishes, Geo :-)

From our very beginning we have looked for friends with benefits...so we look for others that we would like to be friends with first, but with everyone having the knowledge that benefits were always an option. We have met several couples that we were interested in becoming friends with, or having 'benefits' with, but we have also been very lucky to develop at least one relationship combining the two, and it has been AWESOME! We try to get together at least once a month (if not more), go away for weekends together, take vacations together, etc. Right now one of them is having some medical issues so we are all having medical issues together... With the good comes the bad, but we are all there for each other and will probably always be. If anything happens to one of us, we know that the others will be there to help. I am looking forward to when we can resume sharing the good times again, but stand unwavering while we go through the tough times.

15 or so years. We didn’t know some of our friends were enjoying the fun for a number of years before my wife and I joined them. Unlike many people on here it was my wife that talked me into it.

Ah, labels. So many people decide that their definition is right, and others are wrong. I would disagree. 'Swinging,' the 'LifeStyle' and other terms have room for many different configurations. In the end, it doesn't really matter. If you're having fun, you're doing it right. If you don't want to play in some configuration, go have fun your way.

Hubby brought it up originally. He had some dreams from time to time about walking in on me with one or two of my gf. He thought I'd be upset about it, but it actually turned me on a lot. It kinda progressed from there, now we're pretty close (I think) to getting with one of them and her hubby. But yeah, still looking for that right/first couple/person

We both had been in long term marriages that were unfulfilling for numerous reasons. I had just gotten out of another fairly short relationship. Part of the reason for that break up was my desire to experiment. I knew that I wanted a partner that was open to swinging in an otherwise secure and loving, emotionally monogamous relationship. In typical vanilla attempts at dating jealousy, insecurity, possessiveness all reared their ugly heads pretty quickly to the point I knew that would never be an option. So, I set out with the intention of putting it all out there in ad on a vanilla site. I figured I was wasting the time of the women I was meeting as well as my own. I was as detailed about it as I could be but was directed by the site to rewrite my ad with less specificity(they didn't like certain words like "swinging") and that was actually fine. I was able to write something that an intelligent woman could read between the lines and understand my direction. That's exactly what I got too. It didn't take long for me to receive responses, some of them positive and some not so much. My wife responded though. She seemed intrigued by what I was proposing and asked if I would mind answering some questions. Some very detailed emails were exchanged and she was very much like me in disappointments with trying to find someone to walk on the wilder side. She knew she had a curiosity(she knew the lifestyle existed from teen years since she babysat for couples that were swingers) but didn't have a clue how to pursue it. I offered that opportunity but also offered long term stability which we both also desired. We knew going in that it would take time to build our relationship and the trust required but from my standpoint it was very easy. My marriage was 20+ years of jealousy, accusations and insecurity on the part of my ex. My wife's previous marriage was more like a business arrangement than an emotional connection. From very early on she would ask me about other women or couples we would see on the street or even on magazine covers(would I like to have sex with them?) It was totally foreign to me to have someone so secure in herself and us to talk about that. I gave her the kind of day to day emotional support she needed to feel secure in a relationship. Together we saw that we could fulfill each other's other needs and become a strong couple. This was a part of our relationship form day one and something we always knew we were building towards not as some kind of payoff but just to spice up things when they got dull, as they eventually do, and fulfill some previously unspoken fantasies. While things haven't gotten dull yet we have fulfilled some awesome fantasies and realized we have more. We've had bumps along the way, some lifestyle related some not, but they've almost always been rooted in failure to properly communicate. We've gotten so much better at that one thing, communication, it is now probably one of our greatest strengths.

My wife and I have been frustrated in this area as well. We tried some of the random sites and mostly found must single men and a lot of empty promises. We only want anonymous web chat and live video sharing so other couples can watch us and we watch them. We will watch this thread if anyone has suggestions.

Kikonkrome, There are lots of people on discussion groups talking about this situation and some are even sharing pics and vids. You just have to go to the right sites to see it and read it. Some of it is real, some of it is obviously fantasy, some of it is healthy, and some of it is destroying the relationship. It is interesting and very educational. Some of it is very hot. Some of it is very disturbing and sad. Some people can't see the train wreck coming. Others see and and looking to avoid it. Others are just so depraved they don't care about anyone but themselves and their kink and encourage people to go full speed into a relationship disaster. M1F2KTJ. Just remember that this is about the two of you and your wants and desires. As long as you are both happy and love, respect, and communicate with each other you will come out on the positive side. It is still a team sport. Best of luck and just remember talk, talk and talk some more.

I hear you, M1F2KTJ. I don't know exactly how I'd feel in your shoes, but I expect I'd be similarly conflicted. On the one hand, if my wife went out with a guy and came back with a story about a gangbang, I'd probably love it... because I'm generally pretty comfortable with the idea of her doing that - as long as she was honest with me about it. On the other hand, if it wasn't what we'd agreed on going in, I'd be pissed and that would be the end of playing with that guy... because if we don't stick to the rules, then the game is over. Cuckolding is a kink and, if I may disagree with two4youinswva, I think it is a form a swinging separately though probably one with edges into the dominant/submissive dynamic. However as with any swinging or bdsm relationship, the key elements are honesty, trust, communication and respect. It's all well and good, within the confines of a scene, to let go of control and have your boundaries pushed but hard limits need to be respected.

Hello, First of all, I'm sorry if I have some writing problems, since english isn't my first language After some mfm, last night we had our first swap with another couple. We were planning just having dinner to meet each other at their house, but we felt really comfortable with them and started playing. I had a great time with the wife at the living room, and Caro went to another room with him. Since it was our first time with a couple I was worried about her, but by the moanings we heard we thought that they were having a good time also. When we left Caro told me that he was talking all the time about me doing it to his wife and how Caro felt about it. He was having problems with his erection and she felt that he was focussing on what was happening on the living room and not in her. The moanings we heard was the only time when he was doing oral on Caro, but after that he kept jacking off next to her. After all, we had a great time talking, I have a great time with the wife, but Caro didn't enjoy her time with the husband. I guess that happens all the time, but what do you think about it? Does it worth talking with him and giving a second chance or it will be like this time forever? Thanks for your time, it was longer that I expected. See you, Edo