Leaderboard

I remember from a few years ago a lively debate in the SLS forum as to whether or not there should be a wider range of choices that would represents shades and colors of bisexuality. There were hundreds of proposed labels. I can remember only a few: situationally bi, actively bi, passively bi, and bi furious. I believe the SLS people eventually came to regret that they had opened this can of worms. In the end they said, in effect, fuck it, we're not going to change anything,

The paper on the photoelectric effect was one of four papers published in what would become known as the "miracle year". See https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Annus_Mirabilis_papers Each of the papers is breathtaking in its implications. Together, they remain -- by and large--the foundations of contemporary physics. As biologists and medical types, we have special interest in physical phenomena that influence biological processes such as Brownian motion and the effects of photons on tissues. These achievements resonate in our professions as well. Yes, it is a bit weird to be celebrating such things on a swinger site. We are nerds and damn proud of it.

We started playing later. Married in our 30's and were strictly mono until we were empty nesters with grandchildren. We have talked about whether we should have started playing earlier in life. For us the answer is NO. At each stage, young marrieds, parents of small children, homeschooling parents of teenagers,caregivers to aging parents we were living the life that best suited our roles in life. We were always very playful together, but kept the division between our home and the world. Now that those times are past we feel like branching out and so far it has been seamless. We are learning new things about ourselves and each other at a rate unheard of since the NRE of almost 40 years ago. It is exhilarating. We would not change any of it. That however is just us. We have , what are now very close friends our age that have been at this for decades, they are also content with how it has played out for them. If I were to make recommendations to anyone it would be, to be who you are supposed to be for wherever you are in your life's journey, and that is something only you can judge.

I'll tell a fun story here. Mrs. E is a scrupulously clean person by habit and when we started fooling around, I was pretty startled to find out the only other man she'd ever not swallowed with was her ex-husband, who liked to cum on her tits. Same reason: she wanted to dispose of it neatly. Spit it in the sink? No, that'll mess up the sink. Spit it in the toilet or garbage? No, then she has to look in the toilet or garbage. Even if you just don't like the guy that much? She was of the mindset that she'd rather fuck somebody she's not that into then have them in her mouth. On the other hand, face-fucking and facials were standard for me. So she got used to enjoying the anticipation before I shot then cleaning up quickly. Fast-forward to our experiments with swinging. The other husband is using her mouth hanging off the edge of the mattress, and I'm watching, and suggest he pop on her chest. This gets her laughing, he pulls out, she starts sucking on his balls and squirming in anticipation, and he manages to finish big, arcing a little of it over her breasts entirely and onto her stomach. I get up and join in, pull her down the mattress by her legs and start screwing her. The whole time, she's pressing her breasts together tightly and the puddle of cum is just going everywhere. Down her collar, smearing over her breasts, getting on her hands, and she seems like she's loving it. By the time it's over, her breasts look like a couple of glazed doughnuts, and I've got her ankles on my shoulders and the view is getting to be too much, so I pull out and shoot onto her stomach to add to the scene. She gets up and runs off to rinse off in the shower. It's only the next morning while she's giving me head that she admits she wasn't smearing it all over herself intentionally, but trying to keep it all contained on her cleavage because the mess was stressing her out, and her efforts were just making it worse and worse. Then I unloaded on her stomach instead of inside her like she was hoping. LOL, whoops.

For us, the whole point of swinging was to find friends that we could fuck.

I wouldn't say that my wife, I, or those who we play with have inhibitions when we're together as a group, but it is different alone as a couple or even as a threesome. Especially playing alone with another spouse has its thrills and lets us break loose to do and say things not done or said when being watched. And the mystery of what your beloved is doing with another man, at least for me, is a thrill all its own. And not having to wait for an equal couples' swap creates more opportunities for play.

Thanks, that is one of the places we have talked about going to. Very excited about this adventure. My wife has always wanted to do a black man (hopefully more endowed than me but if not that's okay too). Cant wait to see her pleasured. Years ago when I tried to pursue going down on a black woman she was not into oral...which was a first for me. Since then I have always wanted to experience oral with a black woman. Hope I have better luck now. I love the thought of different skin color, hair textures and cultures sharing in pleasure and joy. Also, I think there is something very right about a white guy going down on a black woman. ?

It’s not difficult for a white couple to play with a black couple in the NYC area. We have and would. You may find them in a club or online. Our SLS profile says that we embrace diversity, which we do, we welcome white, black, Asian, Latin, etc. partners. We are judging by content of character and ability to have fun. We have seen many on-line profiles that say white only and we find that unfortunate. Those people are missing out on fun. And it must be demoralizing to non-white people.

Yes, setting up a gangbang is very difficult to do. We tried doing it with friends to make it easier and safer. But in the end all of your close friends have now fucked your wife which makes things complicated in the future. When everyone is hanging out on a regular night, all your friends think your wife is fair game to touch, kiss, or hold your wife out in the open. Moral of the story... dont use your friends because it never ends good lol.

Having hosted parties and theme events and active in the Lifestyle over 15 years. I have organized a number of fantasy group play themes for women (mmfmm, mmfmmfmm, mmmfmmmfmmmmmfmmmfmmm, etc etc.). Open to all, but, I would screen each interested male based on several qualifying requests. Most often, I would say 80% of the time penis size was never part of the request or was very low on the list. Yes from time to time we would get a specific fantasy request for size and ethnicity, but very rare. Usually from newbie couples or more mature single or newly single ladies. I can say our experience has been all races seemed to fall into the same catigories. No one race had any advantage over the other. Granted this is from the narrow selection and experiences of those in the lifestyle in the New England area. And willing, reliable, attentive, experienced and skilled males that are also over 7” let alone 9” or even more scarce 10” - 12” is nearly impossible. Talk about unicorn. Add in personality, humor, entertaining and....being a gentleman.....now you’re looking for the golden unicorn. Everyone has their likes and dislikes. Everyone has their fantasies....their sexual bucket list. I can say careful what you wish for...sometimes the fantasy is far better then the experience when you narrow your choices. And settling for a singular requirement for your experience....many times will not be a positive experience. All in your efforts, choices and expectations.

Einstein came out with his papers on mass–energy equivalence and his paper which explained the photoelectric effect when he was 26 (that helped spawned the birth of quantum mechanics). He spent a large part of the rest of his life trying to disprove his own theories since E = mc2 does not equal 1 (God does not play with dice). If he only was able to solve his Unified field theory, then we would probably all be driving flying cars (I was promised flying cars when I was a kid...where are my flying cars?).

To answer the original question, we limited ourselves to soft swap, same room. After our first session we took an opportunity to talk privately and make sure we were having fun, then had another session where she had her first "spit roast", me behind her. It was all good and the following night she wanted to try full swap with the same couple from the first session. I think having some boundaries was important to make sure that we had an opportunity to step back if it didn't work, but it turned out that it did work and we never regretted it. I think agreatguy has a good point above, which is that those first experiments with teasing, touching, and exhibition are big steps that will help you figure out what you want. We knew the people we were playing with well and connecting with new people was a very different move that took more work to build up her confidence. Flirting, nude sunbathing, getting felt up on a dance floor, making out a little, all those things gradually confirmed for her that "yes, I can do that". We've had a couple of bland experiences at this point, but nothing we regret at all. We both understand each other's sexuality much, much better than we did when we started. I think there's a "grass is always greener" aspect to looking back on missed experiences. I know that when I was younger, I knew what I liked, but considered it fairly extreme and probably missed some opportunities with women who would have been game. Then I got a little older and realized that a lot of us are walking around like that: wanting to experiment but also believing everybody else would think it's too much. Sometimes I was trying to be a traditional guy and ended up being the boring guy, or even boring myself out of the relationship because I just wasn't happy like that and knew it. Then it sort of clicked where I was going wrong and I started having more fun. Mrs. E was on a different spot on that trail, she knew she had a high libido but really thought vanilla was not just the norm, but practically universal law. She went to a Catholic school (yes, nuns and Catholic schoolgirl uniform) and felt good about being a rule-follower, then settled down young. That didn't work. After her divorce, she started having second thoughts. It's a big part of how we connected, that I was having fun and she wanted to figure out how to have fun. I'll never forget the time she blurted out, while we were talking about our past experiences, something to the effect that if she'd had any idea what she was missing out on, she would've ignored the nuns and spent those years on her hands and knees in the boy's locker room. Point is, now we've both moved into a lot of experiences together that have been a blast, and are still trying new things as life evolves around us. It's great. Yet, I see where adamgunn is coming from. Maybe if we'd met in college passing Mrs. E around to my friends would have been incredibly hot. Then again, maybe it would have been a traumatic and humiliating disaster that tore us apart. I certainly didn't know how to navigate jealousy and trust issues back then, and even the woman I met was absolutely scandalized that she'd had two dates in the same weekend end up in bed. Maybe the girls I was seeing then weren't cut out for it and never would be. We can't truly know our old selves and just have to fully embrace what we get in life and make the most of the future.

My wife likes cum, but inside her. Cunt, ass, mouth in that order. Not much for me to see at the time it's happening, but that's how she likes it.

OK, I'll start this. The absolute best for me was the ability to really talk to my spouse. Before we indulged in swinging, it just seemed like some topics were taboo. After we'd both had sex with other people, we could finally share fun details of our experiences before we were married. And, even better, we could comment to each other about people we see. I loved her becoming my best buddy as well as my wife.

Dinner or drinks is the quickest and easiest way to see if there is any 'connection'. You will learn more in 5 minutes than a lifetime of emails or texts. Even if the other couple is not a match, most people can last through a dinner and come out relatively unscathed. We ALWAYS let it be known that we have no expectations and are not planning on playing. This way both couples can talk afterwards and decide if they want to get together again...no chance of one member 'taking one for the team'. Meeting in a strip club is not a bad idea, except some couples will have a hard time going there (what if someone sees...?) and it is hard to talk with the loud music (BOOM, BOOM, BOOM). Find a nice private corner in a (upscale) restaurant. Most of their tables are sectioned off for some privacy. If you don't want to do dinner, meeting for drinks (same idea, nice place that has booths that offer some privacy) works just as well. Swinging isn't easy to do and it never said it would be. But if you and your spouse are up for the challenge, it can be worth all the effort. The 'sprinkles' on the ice cream sundae of your lives.

We were one year before we met people with whom we clicked. But here's the thing. After you find an experienced and worthwhile couple, they will introduce you to other people who will introduce you to other people . . . You'll then be off to the races.

I agree with all of the above, but for me the best thing to come from our swinging is our poly family. First, it was the openness of my husband to letting me keep my old boyfriend. Then my eventual openness to allowing him to have sex with other women that led me to discover my Lesbian side. That made possible the three of us joining with two other women in a committed relationship that now includes five children.

This is an important yet subtle point. The act of asking you for permission to play with her most likely reflects a persistent notion of possession in their relationship. We imagine there would be less of an issue if you invited a lady to play and she responded,”I’ll just check in with my husband first.” The former situation assumes that authority has been delegated, the latter merely reflects how that particular couple had negotiated their own rules of engagement.

Regarding these first two very fundamental points, I must say that not everybody who presents as being a swinger understands them the way that my wife and I understanding them. On many occasions, especially likely to happen at a swingers' club, a guy will ask me in one fashion or another if he can have sex with my wife. I typically answer, with as much understanding and diplomacy as I am able, that this is a question for her to answer.

Not only those three but racism is somewhat the same. Most racists have nothing going for themselves other than their belief that they are superior simply because they happened to draw a white card at conception. I've sometimes thought that a happy couple playing with others makes other couples, who can't/don't/won't, envious. It's like the folks who, for religious reasons, can't drink and want liquor to be illegal. Or folks who don't smoke but see others enjoying a buzz, wanting to keep recreational marijuana illegal. If they can't have fun, they don't want anyone to have fun.

Confidence. We both are drastically more confident in ourselves. This has spilled over into our vanilla life as well and I am glad for the personal growth. Also, we can talk about anything now. Before the ls, we still hadn't talked about fantasies that were outside the norm in any way for fear of judgement. Now we talk about anything and everything.

Meeting some of the nicest people that are now my close friends

Just for fun a quote from the movie Varsity Blues. "The male erection? Pitchin a tent, sportin the wood, the icicle has formed, the march is on, stiff, stiffie, Me. Mortis, rigor mortise has set in, flesh rocket, Jacks magic beanstalk, tall Tommy, mushroom on a stick, Mr. mushroom head, purple headed yogurt slinger and Pedro.

As a guy this thread makes me feel like a cut of meat attached to a swinging penis...And I'm totally OK with that

Everywhere have played with were already friends. Don't ask me how the subject was breached, I don't remember. But it did make it easier to keep in line with our number one rule; don't screw up anyone's relationship. Not our own or others. Being friends first, none of us want to ruin our friends marriages, so we don't do anything to make any of the others mad. No private play ect. So far it has worked well. And been at it for 14 years.

My wife and I have been swinging for more than 10 years now, although lately we are just taking a break and keeping to ourselves. However, our first gangbang started up spontaneously at a swingers club in our area about 8 years ago. We went there to get us a random guy from the club and invite him over to the private area for a MFM threesome, as we usually did. One day, though, the club owner opened the private “couples only” area where single men are not normally allowed unless invited by a couple and many single men started to roam the whole private areas. My wife and I were right in the middle of a threesome with another guy on one of them mattresses-like beds that they have at swingers’ clubs. Then, a few men just hanged around to watch us going at it. I knew my wife and I have talked many times about inviting more than just one guy to our sessions, so after a while, I just beckoned to the guys standing there to come over and play with us. Three guys jumped onto the mattress where we were and that’s where it all started. We were there for about four hours, guys kept coming and going. We don’t exactly know how many men my wife was with that night but at any point in time there were always at least five guys with her. We had a great time. I enjoyed seeing my wife with so many men, and she did enjoy sucking off men left, right and center. She was fucked many times and I judging from her moaning and screaming, I knew she was enjoying it like hell. I was with her all the time making sure nobody was rough with her and that she was treated with respect and that everybody used condoms when penetrating her. She gave the blowjobs “au naturel”, no condom. We were lucky that everybody was nice and friendly and no one was disrespectful to her. After all, that was our regular club, and we had never had a bad experience there. That was our first gangbang. We have had a few more gangbang sessions over the years, always in the same club. I guess that’s a nice way to get started on gangbangs. There is always a club owner and nice people in case someone is not friendly. Good luck with it. You are going to have a great time

I see you are from NJ too. We tried to attend a similar party, maybe the same group you went to. We got there late and some of the party started. Not to sound stuck up but the women were not that attractive and the men ran the gamut of all types. We were only there a few minutes and I really didn't feel clean. Mike asked me if I wanted to leave and we did.

I appreciate your post. We are a white couple that has recently had their first experience with a black couple. We all had a great time but it has made me think about stereotypes. I think there is still some sort of black white taboo that added to the excitement for us but admitting to it also makes me feel stupid. The guy my wife played with had a stereotypically lean black athletic body. While his cock was longer than mine it was not an extreme difference and I am definitely thicker than he was. My wife enjoyed the difference but not the difference in our cocks. What she really noticed was that his biceps and shoulders were so stereotypically strong looking. Similarly, my experience was enhanced because of all people, a sweet black girl married to a big black stud praised me for having such a big cock. I also noticed that during our play I really wanted to comment about our black white differences but was afraid to do so for fear of coming off racist. So instead I just praised her for being beautiful. Actually, come to think of it, I may have said something about her big beautiful ass, a comment I would never make to a white girl built the same way. The whole time our eager black partners seemed to be enjoying our differences just as much. When we offered to switch you would have thought I offered to buy them a new car. No doubt he was excited to experience my blonde Barbie looking wife. I'm not sure if her excitement for me had more to do with me being white or her being horny but she too was excited. I realize a lot of our excitement came from stereotypes that would be inappropriate in other situations but with everyone having fun the stereotyping we all did seemed strangely positive at least for these 4 people intent on kindness.

OK, I'm not a man, but I do know what I hate seeing on a woman: Clothes that are too small -- too small clothes just make those problem areas more apparent. Clothes that fit well flow nicely over woman's curves. Sexy, to me, is so much in attitude. I have seen extremely sexy women in business suits ... and I love to see a woman wearing something that shows off her "attributes" -- if you have a nice ass, where nice ass jeans ... if you have an attractive cleavage, show us some. Now, we've never been to a club, so I have no idea what women where there. But, to me there is a difference between sexy and sleazy ... and I dig on the sexy!