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Are you enjoying yourself? Is your wife enjoying herself. Are the other couple enjoying it? If the answer to all three questions is yes (and I think it is from what you wrote,) you're doing it right. Don't worry about expectations. Just have fun.

It really wasn't intended. So where do I start? After our first house party and processing everything from that (details here), we decided to check out a club. As we were traveling (Nomads do that from time to time), we thought we would check out Colette New Orleans. It was newbie night so we figured there would be no pressure. After a really nice dinner, we headed over to one of the most nondescript buildings in the entire city. You wouldn't have even known it was there. After meeting both local and visiting couples, we hit it off with 3 or 4 of them so we decided to take it upstairs to the library. Spoiler alert. There are no books in the library. There are however some really nice couches. The only thing that was throwing off the vibe was a couple of the single guys. I mean I get that the view is great and people are starting to fool around. Boobs popped out like we were at a bra burning or something. But I'm going to assume that it isn't proper etiquette when a couple is starting to play for a single male to sit right down next to them, drop trousers and start cranking one out. Much less keep asking the male of the couple to have his girl help out with the handy work. So the 3 other couples we were clicking with decided to find another place. We got the invite to hop into the room to avoid the 3rd wheels and ended up on the bed with plenty to watch. No one was pushy and the couple close to us whom we really were getting along with asked if we were going to join. We opted to hang out and watch. Do you know how hard it is to remember the name of a woman you were introduced to 30 minutes ago when all you can see is her ass wagging in the air? It was just a tangled mess of beautiful body parts and would probably have been a hot sweaty mess if the heat was working int he second floor but it was starting to warm up. Well once Mrs. N started taking it all in she was certainly opening up. We ended up going right to our set limit of soft swap and no more but we pretty much stayed at that limit the whole night. She got her first girl-on-girl. Come to find out it was the other lady's first time as well. They seemed to enjoy it, and he and I certainly enjoyed that they enjoyed it. After playing there for an hour, we noticed the room getting more full. It appears some people didn't respect the curtain rule. As such, we and the other couple we were playing with opted for something a little more private and took one of the private rooms with doors. It was amazing. We left about 2 hours after we had planned and she was all smiles. We got their number and will certainly reach out to them should we be in town again. We debriefed on the ride home and I'm happy to say we are both very happy with how things went and it seems that it was a significant turn on for Mrs. N. Even the next morning after only 4 hours of sleep she's still running hot. While the single guys at the club were a little bit of a turn off we will indeed be back and I think we are going to do this again.

I dated a woman physicist in college. She was a great sex partner and we did some swapping with other couples. But she wouldn't engage in an FFM or MMF. It puzzled me until I realized that it was because physicists couldn't deal with the three body problem.

As the father of 5, and witnessing all 5 births, ANY perks the ladies may receive are well and truly earned. As if monthly periods weren't enough.

BTW, it is said that in addition to Dr. Erwin Schrödinger's cat, Mrs. Schrödinger had a pussy that was difficult to get your mind around. Something to do with a double slit, which is an interesting subject in itself.

So an update. We kind of let things go by the wayside with the couple mentioned above. I'm not saying we won't ever revisit them and we clicked to the point that we would probably play at a party but we finally broke through. As its a change in topic though you will have to see it in a different thread. I just wanted to let everyone know you helped us wrap our minds around what we were thinking. Our confidence was doing well last night. This morning its at new levels. Mr. Nomad

Aaron911 —- I agree with Jane. You seem conflicted about something, but then you include “lol” in nearly every post. How is anybody supposed to know what you’re thinking or asking?

It has been a tough thing for me to do. I never had any desire to being with a woman. My first contact sexually I felt pushed into it. I just couldn’t with the husbands watching. I am not an exhibitionist. When we swing I prefer swapping in separate rooms. Being alone with her, and wine, made me a little more open.

If a couple was insistent upon separate rooms we'd likely take a pass. Our initial preference is same room, same bed. Once the clothing comes off and everyone is comfortable, one or the other of us may wander off but that generally only happens the 2nd or 3rd time we play with a couple. No matter how refined the selection process, you don't REALLY know a new partners sexual preferences or kinks until you've played a time or two. Mrs Doc has never been comfortable enough on a first time swap for us to be out of one another sight. Plus, we get a huge buzz off of watching each other with someone else. As for single males and single women, congrats, you've broken the code early. There are way more males available than couples who want an extra penis. Its a buyers market. Single women who swing are call Unicorns because there are damned few of them and they are incredibly hard to find.

I heard that it was both there and not there at the same time!!

I am responding for other people who may read this post. Aaron’s posts have been confusing to me, sometimes he seems to be joking and only wants other people’s stories. At one point there was a comment about seeking advice by him and he didn’t sound fully comfortable about the situation. I asked for clarification and sure it a nerve. He only wants other people’s stories, perhaps there is another website for cuckhold husbands if someone could direct him. If how he has communicated on this board is reflective of how he communicates with his wife that could explain much of his difficulty. It’s a good example of not communicating clearly, not directly answering a question and deflecting instead.

Call us traditional recreational swingers, not polygamous. If the “I love yous” start flying between us and our playmates, we would be concerned, to say the least. Not judging what other people enjoy or are looking for. I will say we sometimes play in separate rooms with people we know and it does feel less restrictive and distracting for both of us.

Swinging isn’t about what “the norm is.” It’s what you and your wife agree to that’s important. With the “lol” it’s hard to gage if you are serious. Some people are fine in your situation, and some would not be interested in being a cuck. I wonder if when trying to express to your wife you are not happy with it are you taking a light tone and she doesn’t take you seriously. C is for communication.

Yes! And the tricky part is that the amount of cervical dilation is dependent upon the time dilation due to the reference frame of the observer.

We have gotten to where we play alone with the people we know well and play with regularly. Usually it's a threesome when one of us is unavailable, but we'll also do twosomes, mostly because it just makes it easier to have more sex. "Spending the night" is fine, we do it with couples swaps mostly. It adds variety and let's the play go places it otherwise wouldn't. And yeah, sometimes there are emotions, but it hasn't caused any problems, our marriage is still as strong.

Absolutely not. Finding that elusive four way match is not easy, but it CAN be done (we are a perfect example of that, we've been seeing one couple for 5-6+ years) It is either that he is extremely rude or just stupid. He wanted something that you already said you didn't want. It isn't a match...next couple please. Take things at a pace that is good for ALL FOUR involved. There's no reason to rush and if it is a match, then everyone will be willing to move at the speed of the slowest person (one of our golden rules: never move faster than the slowest person is comfortable with). Not a match, but that isn't saying that match isn't out there for the two of you. Keep looking and don't compromise on your standards (it will only lead to regret afterwards). Good luck and let us know how things progress.

Some are showers and some are growers...

We have always slept with our own partners on overnights. By that time, we're tired and not looking at the bed as anything more than a useful place to get some sleep, and we're most comfortable doing that with each other.