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My wife and I have been full-swap from our start and have eschewed soft swap. But we have recently met people who have given us a new understanding. We met then at a Saturday evening social and while inviting us to their condominium they said, "we want you to know that we do soft swap." It was a mild surprise but my wife and I exchanged a few words and made a spontaneous decision that it would be OK. Well, it was great fun. Both this man and this woman had perfectly good reasons for not wanting penetration. I am thinking that we will no longer deflect Web-site inquiries based solely on the fact that the profile specifies soft swap. And I do not believe that we will require people to explain their reasons. Should open new opportunity.

We recently had our first real swinging experience!! Full swap. Lots of fun, awkward and amazing. It poked at all our insecurities, but my husband and I were both surprised by how ok we were with it, and how much it turned up our connection, and desire for each other. So here’s where I keep getting hung up. She keeps asking to him to lunch, or coffee. Just him and her. Originally I thought it was fine, (pre full swap) and would help him be a little less awkward with her. But the fact that she keeps wanting to go out with him exclusively, has me a little bothered. I trust him 100% and he would tell her no if I asked him to. So I’m trying to figure out if this is an insecurity I need to work on. Is this kind of one on one dateing a normal thing for swinging couples?

I’m a communicate everything kind of guy anyway so I would have told him everything as soon as we got back or else called her out on what she said while in the play area. Sounds like a petty woman.

Years ago we had much the same experience. I can’t remember the name of the place. It was located in Oakland Ca., an adult motel where they held social dances. It was interesting, they had a bar, occasionally had entertainment, and music for dancing. Outside the pool and hot tub area’s were clothing optional. We had been corresponding with a couple and decided to meet them there one night. Everything was going nicely, we were just getting to know one another. Somewhere another couple joined us inside the dance. One thing led to another, and the six of us end up in the couple we came to meet’s room. The six of us were getting acquainted, and things were about to get interesting when there was a knock on the door. This was a cute looking couple, and evidently, they had been invited up by one of the other couples. In no time the male half of the new couple starts hitting on every other woman in the room. One of the other guys starts coming on to the woman this guy’s with. She laugh’s and in no uncertain terms tells him she’s not into this and is here just to keep this guy company. It was a couple only dance, and this guy comes out with, “yea, she’s just the couple half to allow me to get into the dance.” We were young and naïve, I hadn’t even considered something like that happening. The male half of the couple we were there to meet politely asked them to leave, I believe his exact words were, “get your fucking ass out of here before I put a boot in it.” This was a lesson well learned. From then on I wasn’t afraid or hesitant in asking the personal questions before things went to the play stage. I’ll sit at the bar and talk to anybody, on any subject, and not delve into their history. If they are coming back to our room, or we’re going to theirs, I’m finding out who we’re dealing with. As friendly as most people you meet in this lifestyle are, they are still strangers if you’re meeting them for the first time. I’m not talking about a life history, but at the least find out what they are interested in. I don’t think there was any threat from this guy. I don’t know who the woman was, most likely the whole thing came down to him wanting to get laid, and she was there to allow it to happen. Being this wasn’t what we were interested in, if we had known this beforehand they wouldn’t have killed the mood in the room with their appearance.

We believe in orgasms and we like sharing them with other couples. Hence, we don't necessarily require penetration. In fact, we like having orgasms in a group setting. Where they happen is way less important to us than THAT they happen. Consequently, even though we arena enjoy full swap swinging, we are more than ok playing with a soft swap couple.

Curiosity question with no right or wrong answer... just interested in where everyone stands. When you spend the night with another couple, do you ever swap partners overnight? Do you enjoy sleeping in bed next to someone else, or do you prefer to sleep next to your own spouse/partner? Or does it vary? What do you prefer and why?

I will try to keep this short. This happened in a club a few months ago and need some advice. My husband and I are dancing, minding our own business and a couple comes over and tries to separate us. They were a good looking couple so he danced with her, I danced with him. While we were dancing, she loudly says to me, "OMG you are his dream woman he has been dying to meet you. I'm sure you are making his night just dancing with him." Already, I am uncomfortable because I felt a little anger in her voice. When the song ended we thanked them for the dance and again she was gushing about how hot he thinks I am. We walk away and get drinks. I forgot about them and we were simply enjoying the night. Later in the evening I left my husband to go to the restroom. They were standing nearby and when she saw me, she grabs me and pulls me close to her. She says, "What are you doing with that man he's horrible. There is no way I would ever have sex with him. You can do so much better than him!" I told her I completely disagree, that he is my husband and I think he's very attractive. I turned to walk away while I hear her telling me that she's shocked that I am actually married to this man. (Although this is unimportant, my husband is a really good looking man, never have heard anything different). I did not say a word to my husband because I decided she's crazy and would never say something hurtful to him. We go into the playroom and are happily playing together. Guess who comes over and tries to play with us? She was all over my husband and obviously not knowing what had been said, he wanted to play with them. I whispered in his ear that I did not want to play. He was not thrilled but told them another time. To diffuse the confusion I simply said she had said some unkind things when I bumped into her and I wanted nothing to do with her. When we see them occassionally he still asks me to be nice to her but I just ignore her. What would you do?

...So me and my guy finally went to a club together. My first time at a club, but not his, though he hasnt been in involved in the LS in years. We went to The Velvet Curtain in Dallas, attending the New Years Eve Bash they were having. We didn't play with anyone or even play while there at all. We did watch a little in a public play area and that was hot. I loved the way everyone seemed so nice.. It was a great time, even though we didn't really find anyone to play with, I had a blast. And now I feel much more comfortable going to other clubs and trying other things. We are new to this...so I feel this first step was a total success... Thanks for reading.

Would you rather have a threesome with 2 guys and a woman or 2 girls and 1 guy? My wife has not had a threesome but she is down the middle about threesomes

It is important that when you go out to meet other swingers in person (whether at a club or on a date with just one other couple) that you bring your “A” game and that both of you are in top form. If you’ve been fighting or are having a really bad day then you may want to reschedule the meeting, unless you can find a way to put all of that behind you. If the vibes between you as a couple are bad, couples that you meet will pick up on that. When you do go out, do so without any expectations of what the night may bring. If you’ve seen pictures of the other couple you plan to meet, then you are justified in expecting them to look reasonably like their pictures. Overall, the fewer expectations that you have, of the couples you meet or of the night overall, the more likely you are to enjoy the evening. Also, keep in mind that you are to some degree responsible for the expectations of others. In other words, if you have given them some reason to expect certain things, then beware. Unless you know for a fact that you intend to have sex with them that night, do not give them any reason to expect it. If you don’t look reasonably like your own pictures then don’t be surprised when they walk out on you before dinner arrives. Keep the alcohol to a minimum. In all swinging encounters, whether first meeting or not, you should keep alcohol consumption to a minimum. There is nothing wrong with having one or two drinks as you might normally when you are out for an evening, but be careful not to over-indulge, as this is probably the number one cause of regrets when it comes to swinging. Even if you don’t end up playing you don’t want to come off as someone who doesn’t know their limits or who can’t handle their alcohol. Remember to exercise discretion when meeting other swingers in public places. Just because you are there to establish whether or not there is a mutual interest in having sex together, does not mean that the entire restaurant needs to know about your past escapades or experiences. While you may choose to be open about your lifestyle choice, most swingers are not. So keep the sex talk to a minimum (and a very low decibel) until you are in a private place. There are a million other things you can discuss when you first meet, so try to focus on those rather than strictly on sex. You will be nervous, but just remember so are they. Your first meeting with another couple is a lot like a blind date, except now there are three or four of you who have to hit it off. Take it in stride and remember to bring your sense of humor. I would suggest having your first meeting at a restaurant, coffee shop or bar; someplace public, but quiet enough that you can easily talk to and hear one another. You may want to opt for a bar or coffee shop to have a little more control over how much time you have to spend with them, in case you don’t enjoy their company.

Can I ask what their thoughts were on it? We are having that discussion and Mrs. N wants to hold back something intimate for just us. I’m okay with that but I’m also okay with full swap as I think what we have is much more than just a particular sexual activity.

My wife told me that when we met that she had an insatiable appetite, which not only intrigued me, but matched my own sexual energy. It seems that several of my past girlfriends liked Double penetration. But Laura seems to Really like multiple cocks in her and was one of the few that I have fucked that love double vaginal and even double anal penetration, which is not easy as some of you may know. I have never minded another cock rubbing mine and we both cum. But what Laura likes is that she wants us both to clean up her pussy and share the cum with her. The secret of a successful DP or DVP is get out of the head and enjoy the pleasure. We have had so many couples that are not ready for this level of play due to some insecurities or jealousies. If you can let go of your fears and have fun fucking a hot slut like Laura, it is really easy. My best friend and I have got into an easy rhythm together and know what Laura likes and when. Just keep practicing and it can be a great experience. And yes, lots of oil all over our bodies helps. Dave and Laura

I'll take the average any day

Some are showers and some are growers...

We used to do the "flat on the stomach" thing. It's fun for dominant, rough sex. Now we're kind of the same pattern as you. She'll get down on her elbows with her face down on the bed, or we'll be standing-but-bent-over on the edge of the bed, the couch, kitchen counter, car, etc.

PM #7 UsAtHome Registered User Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: Michigan I am a: Couple Posts: 6 Default Re: Best situation for first time ok, we are somewhat 'newbies'......what all do you consider to be newbie mistakes?? I am sure we have made our share and just do not know it