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The key I've found is to dig deep and channel your inner cool guy. Be friendly, be social, smile, have a good time etc. The more you look like a confident fun person the more people will gravitate to you. I know that sounds easier said than done, but it's the only way. In the last four years since we got into the ls, I myself was not who I am today. I'm a good looking guy but I had serious confidence issues going back to being bullied in school, shot down by many girls before my wife, etc. The longer you're in the ls the easier this will be. Also, think as your wife as your wingman. You said she gets some interest already and that's good. When we're in a new club with no friends we just stick together, talking like we're in a date, making jokes and smiling at each other. If you're doing that people will see that you look fun. When you see someone you like, have her be the one who initiates talking first. I let my wife do that as it works great. She'll go hey what's y'all's names, where are you from, etc and you just chime right in behind her.

Congratulations. I am currently down 65 from my max (420). Its a battle. Here's a question for you. Has the lifestyle added to the drive to get in better shape? Mr. Nomad

I didn't know where else to put this. Mrs. Dazed is down 67lbs from her heaviest today. Nov 2017 she was 267lbs. Super proud of her and this is all for herself, I'm just happy to share this journey with her. She hit her 200# goal, now she says she is working towards 190#.

It would be equally valid to say you won't quit having sex. It makes me sad that you say the love has gone out, but I understand why you feel that way. I agree with the posters suggesting hormone therapy. We do all grow old, but there's no reason to grow old with less happiness in your life and feeling worse than is strictly necessary. Science has at least partially addressed this. That's the opposite approach.

Funny thing, the thought of getting naked in front of strangers is a fantastic motivator. My wife and I started working out together a few months ago when we made one of the Desire resorts a goal for 2020! ?️?️

I apparently have a COMPLETELY different definition of "nice" than y'all do. I am a bit confused... and wonder also if this is just a trolling post... yet I will take this opportunity (and the time) to climb on my soap-box. ... Perhaps it will be of value to some.... "'Cause it's signals, Jerry, it's signals!" ... "This is the signal, Jerry, this is the signal!". - George Costanza - Seinfeld I turned 60 this past summer. ... In the past decade or so I have had a number of "epiphanies". I suspect this is something we all do, as a part of the aging process. (One [or multiples] of those epiphanies has been getting involved with this BBS.) ... :-D It is only in the past 2 to 3 years that I have come to the conclusion that it is all about respect... and that door swings BOTH ways. (While I do my best to be respectful of others, I have no doubt that I occasionally drop the ball. Life is an education.) But I do not care who you are these days, even someone that I am forced to have contact with on a regular basis (family member, co-worker, etc.)... If I feel disrespected by someone in any way, I am inclined to hand them their walking-papers, immediately, no explanation on my part is needed (or required). When contact is inescapable, I will be cordial, answer questions, etc... but I never volunteer anything, and the moment I can sever the contact, I jump on it! .... (I am a bit of a late-bloomer. It has been quite a ride so far.) I am fairly confident that most would agree... Life is far to short to spend time entertaining a**holes. One thing I think of often these days, that helps me stay on track, is this: "If you loan someone $20 and never see them again, then it was probably a good investment." (When viewed metaphorically, this can cover a LOT of territory.) Another nugget that I am very fond of is something I picked up in the late '80's, while regularly attending Al-Anon-ACOA meetings... "You cannot change others. You can only change yourself, and how you react to others." If you are happy with your current situation (and the "LOL" response seems to be an indicator of this), I say, "Party ON Dude!" If you are unhappy and/or distressed by your current situation, then maybe it is time to take a good look within yourself, and ask, "What do I really want out of life?" As I finished this post (which was fun to write), I decided to look back on some of the OP's past submissions. All I can say at this point is: If you do not have Peace & Happiness in your life, and that is something that you desire, then I sincerely hope you can find it. Good Luck. bud

Both?

Hello, there! So, you’re interested in double penetration but you aren’t sure what it is, if it hurts, or if you’re even interested in it. Well, if you have two patient men and some lube (just in case!) it won’t hurt. Promise. Okay, so maybe you aren’t totally naïve about double penetration. You’ve either seen it in porn or heard about it from someone who watches porn. Or perhaps you’ve noticed that you enjoy being played with anally during sex and have entertained the thought of being sandwiched between two men. For all intents and purposes, let’s clarify what double penetration is before we go on. We’re talking about a male/female/male threesome (MFM) where one male is penetrating the woman vaginally and the other male is in anally. Some might qualify a DP as oral with vaginal/anal penetration but for this article, we will refer that position as a “spit-roast”. I suppose the next step is finding a suitable male playmate to join you and your partner or two males if you are a single woman. Or perhaps you are the single male, in that case, this next part is just as important. A swinging single male with experience or swinger husband with a hall pass (wife verified) is crucial. For one, the males involved will not only be in the same room together naked but they will be in close proximity to one another! Limbs will touch and, from what I’ve heard, males can feel each other move inside the woman during the double penetration. You’ll want to make sure that such incidental contact doesn’t freak him out, and if it does, then find another. Another reason for picking a male in the swinger community versus a male from the non-swinger (vanilla) community is the greater chance that he will be able to perform. Using a vanilla male will increase the odds that he will be too nervous to achieve an erection, more likely to bail, or not show up at all. Now that you know what double penetration (DP) is, you’re interested, and you have your participants picked out and ready to go…when should we go at it, you ask? Foreplay, massages, blowjobs, handjobs, spit-roasting—these are great ways to get acquainted with each other’s bodies and ready for the main attraction. Decide beforehand whether condoms will be used for anal and/or vaginal sex. The use of condoms for anal sex will provide playmates the opportunity to quickly take it off and switch to vaginal sex if desired. Let’s talk about positioning. There’s the cowgirl position, the reverse cowgirl position, the side-by-side-by-side position, the standing position, and the sex swing position. The height and size of the DP participants may determine which positions will work or not. Also, be aware of which positions give the woman the most pleasure. Some enjoy anal sex which might mean cowgirl position might work best because the male on top will be in the position to thrust into her anally. If a woman enjoys having her G-spot stimulated, then the reverse cowgirl might be best. If having both men thrust at the same time is a must, the side-by-side-by-side position is one to try. As for the standing and sex swing positions, those will highly depend on height and athleticism of everyone involved. If engaging in a DP for the first time, it is recommended that the venue be intimate and private so that the male participants will not have extra unnecessary pressure to perform in front of an audience. It’s also a good idea to know where the necessary supplies are (condoms, lube, bathroom/wash clothes) in case they are needed. Here are two of the most important things everyone involved needs to have: patience and a sense of humor! Be prepared that a DP might not happen the first time you attempt it. Technical difficulties may occur. One or both men might not be able to keep an erection during the positioning and maneuvering. It might take some time to figure out who goes where and who goes first in entering the woman. If it doesn’t work the first time or with a certain position, don’t be afraid to try something different to achieve a DP! And remember, if it doesn’t come to fruition in this MFM, try it again during the next MFM. Have fun and happy DPing!

Sarsaparilla is native to South America, but Smilax species with medicinal benefit are common around the world. Sarsaparilla is thought to bind endotoxins. Endotoxins are the debris created when pathogenic bacteria are killed off. Sarsaparilla also offers antibacterial and antifungal properties. It is commonly used in Lyme disease protocols. Traditionally, it is used for treatment of psoriasis and other skin conditions. Also, sarsaparilla has been used traditionally for treatment of syphilis,gonorreah (another spirochete, like Borrelia). Sarsaparilla increases bioavailability of other herbs and enhances benefit (synergist). Other beneficial properties include potent anti-inflammatory and antioxidant properties. It also enhances immune function. Sarsaparilla is a synergist for Lyme protocols and important for restoration of gastrointestinal function. Suggested dosage: 200-1000 mg of standardized root extract two to three times daily.

I have come home numerous times to find my wife having sex with one or two people, sometimes expected, sometimes unexpectedly. I either let them finish (alone or with me there, depending on the mood) or join in. My wife the same, several times. All good fun.

Off topic, but reminded me of a situation we had some time ago when my wife and I first started. My wife set me up with a recently divorced female friend of hers who just wanted no-strings sex occasionally, and my wife thought it was hot. (My wife liked this girl, but the girlfriend is straight, so my wife got a thrill out of blowing me and fucking me as soon as possible afterwards.) Apparently girlfriend never had a guy go down on her, and she loved me eating and licking her to orgasm; it became a precondition of me fucking her. Eventually after about a year, she found a boyfriend and moved on, stopping the sex we had. Then I got a call from girlfriend talking about her boyfriend, and how he was good, but just not enough. He wouldn't go down on her, and she needed it. She invited herself over and I gave her charity sex, oral only. That went on for about six months, I got nothing out of it other than the satisfaction of having done a good deed for the girl ?(I loved it. And she did let me play with her tits.) My wife thought it was funny, and loved kissing me afterwards.

Before taking this, do a quick search and look for the hazards. The main hazard with sarsaparilla is the sketchy manufacturers(the supplement industry is full of crooks). If a trustworthy source is providing the supplement, and your doctor is cool with you taking this, then you should have no issues. The only reason to ask your doctor would be if you are already on a regime of medication and supplements. Sarsaparilla may affect how your body absorbs other meds. A couple links from the center of all knowledge, google: https://www.naturalhealthyconcepts.com/sarsaparilla https://www.healthline.com/health/food-nutrition/sarsaparilla

I do not have any real experience with "LS House Parties"... However... I too was "that guy"... shy, introverted, insecure, etc... especially in my teens and 20's. The longer you have lived like that, the harder it is to "breakout" of those old habits, but it can be done. "Cultivate good habits, and your old habits will disappear." - Paramahansa Yogananda (How many folks ever thought that they's see that one here.) ... ? I would urge you to take a chance... take the proverbial leap, and occasionally step outside of your "comfort zone". ... The bit about shyness being interpreted as disinterest is spot-on. ... What is the worst that can happen? ... You learn a bit more every time, especially if you "fall". ... Don't make a big deal out of it and you will likely be fine. The best idea I've seen here so far is to have your wife be your "wing-man" (wing-person?). It seems that she has the necessary social skills... sounds like all you need to do is hang on, and enjoy the ride. ... ? ... But I cannot say for sure that this will work (your wife seems to already know about the social dynamic of "House Parties"). ... ? Also... folks who would put you down for your insecurities are not the people you want to be with anyway. The folks who are nurturing and supportive towards you are the ones you want to pay attention to, and be around. ? If you have not done so already, you may want to check out the show "Playboy TV: Swing" Swing | Playboy TV I think I have seen (safely) every episode of seasons 1-4 here: https://www.xnxx.com/search/playboy+swing I do not think the show is a comprehensive example of the LS, but it is a "House Party" type situation, and sometimes how the "new" guests react is very unpredictable. What I found most interesting were the bits where the resident couples would share their experience in an interview type situation... as well as the things often shared by the "resident group" in the "introduction" scene. After a while the show gets fairly predictable, but there is enough of a range of experience & situations here that it can be worth a look. And it is always less painful to learn from the observed mistakes of others. :">

I got to savor a beautiful long penis emerging from an exquisite bush this weekend - happy place!

Mr. Nomad, thank you. Wife says "yup, the skinnier I am the more I want to be naked :D" and for me personally I am prior military, took what I learned and started really getting to it. I'm down 28 since we started playing just over a 3 months ago.

Laura had a gold anklet that said "Ho-Ho-Ho." Yes, she wore it at Christmas but to her it had a special meaning the rest of the year. When she died, I gave it to a dear friend. I don't know if she still has it or wears it.

Here is my 2 cents...(It's Marni). We hosted a private party and invited 8 couples. There was one man who was coming and I did not have any real interest in him, mostly because he was somewhat introverted and I took that as disinterest. We knew them from a club. After everyone arrived and we had a drink, he came over to me and kissed me. Just like that. You know what, it worked. As soon as he showed some interest, I was onboard. Sometimes when you are shy, it comes across as disinterest to the other person.

So when we visited we got their right when they opened so we could get a tour and a lay of the land. The downstairs area was pretty much like a small club. Other than the nude pictures on the wall and the stripper pole (which can be fairly common in vanilla clubs) it looked like a normal place. The "bar" tender remembered our names all night which was a very nice touch. We are going to check out Secrets Kissimmee tonight as we just got canceled on last minute by our SLS meetup.

If this story is veridical from the OP’s perspective and the writer is not simply trolling us, this is one of the sorriest tales I’ve ever heard.

It’s an LOL post if you know what I mean. There is no question, he is sharing his story. If he likes the cuck situation and being disrespected and piles of drama, congratulations. I’d be curious to hear the wife’s version.

This post begs the question…What kind of man/husband are you? If you can't see that this guy is being disrespectful of you, your marriage, your life, your friends and your choice than I suggest you get a white cane. If your wife is willing to condone the guy's behavior, I suggest you get a new wife cause you're going to be needing one in the near future anyway if the "boyfriend" has anything to say about it.

"Wife met a nice man about 6 weeks ago." "Wife met a nice man" "a nice man" I think we're narrowing down where everything is getting confusing.

Danger, Will Robinson, Danger. This is classic batterer behavior.

Yeah, sounds absolutely hilarious!

Some one needs to be kicked to the curb YESTERDAY. The boyfriend or your wife. Her choice.

Tell him she was trying to wedge in between you. Demean him in your eyes and then hit him up in the play room. Not so much crazy as manipulative.

Thanks for the advice, I really appreciate it. We play alot with other couples so I thought he would realize right away that there was a very valid reason. I think I will tell him but try to find a kinder version than what she said. It was just horrible. She is crazy, no doubt!

Never in my life have I stopped to worry if a woman who is eagerly trying to get me inside her thinks I'm attractive. You're sort of past wondering once you're at that point. Mission accomplished. She's into you. Now that she's been "all over him", he's probably not going to be offended if you tell him the truth about how she was acting. He'll just realize she's a mess. As a guy, I'd rather know why that happened than think my wife is just no fun for no reason. Maybe save it for the next time she comes up, though.

As soon as I read the part about how she was acting on the dance floor, I knew where this was headed. She's crazy, just ignore her or run the risk of giving her exactly what she wants, which is drama. Regarding telling your husband, right then and there probably not the best time to go into all the gory detail, but I think after the fact that first night I would have filled him in on what happened from start to finish.

The last thing you want in swinging is drama. And that woman sounds like a drama queen.

I give you both great credit for opening up and giving each other the gift (especially you for enduring what you did so your husband could enjoy himself) of sexual freedom, and for being wise enough to adjust to your feeling and circumstances. Unlike many people here, I see nothing wrong with alone play. We do it and it is not only a different kind of pleasure with a partner, but it also makes the lusting for your spouse greater than anything. There's no reason to tell your husband about your bad experience unless you feel it's necessary for your own mental well-being, but be honest generally with each other.

Depending on the location, this could be a problem... or not. If anyone is new to this, I strongly advise doing your homework, to be sure that you know & understand what the local laws or rules are. BTW - the (newer) "PC" terms for nudist & nudism are: Naturist & Naturism. A lot of folks still use the "old" terms, but if you want to blend in better.... I can best speak from my experience visiting Hippie Hollow Park (HHP) in Travis Co, TX (where Austin is). The Park is about a 30 minute drive from downtown. ... I lived in Austin for 7 years, and visited HHP as often as I could (which was sometimes every week). I also was very active on the (privately run) BBS there (which is very similar to this Bulletin Board System). The consensus of the HHP BBS is that getting an erection is not a problem, but what you do with it can be. As long as you do not flaunt it, cover up in some way (immersing in cold water can for sure do the trick), folks generally will overlook it. I think this is a universal truth, across the USA anyway. At HHP however, it is part of the County Park system, which has its own police force (which is rather thin, over a large area). There are very explicit "No Lewd Behavior" laws in place at HHP (which you have to be 18 or older to get in). I say all this because I would not want anyone looking to start exploring the Naturist Lifestyle to get the wrong idea, and get in trouble unnecessarily. The locals at HHP look VERY unfavorably upon, and are VERY sensitive to "lewd behavior", and will typically call the police if they see it. The reason being that if it happens too often, they are (justifiably) afraid that the park could be closed down (as a Clothing Optional [CO] park, anyway). And it would be a real bummer if it got shut down too, because it is a beautiful place to hang-out naked, among some (mostly) very friendly people. Being a "Public Park" however, there is no "filter" regarding who can get in, and sometimes that can be an issue. But the locals tend to look after that jewel of a resource. There are very few legal CO Public Parks across the USA, but I am betting most of them operate very much in the same way as HHP. ... While outdoor sex is a favorite of mine (so I get that), I just want to be sure anyone new does not see that as acceptable everywhere... even if you are being "stealthy". ... It is wise to know ahead of time what kind of situation you are getting into. Here are links to the HHP County Parks site, as well as the (privately run) BBS, which can be an excellent resource for getting answers about Naturism, even if you do not visit HHP. https://parks.traviscountytx.gov/parks/hippie-hollow http://www.hippiehollow.com/bb3/ ... that "Message Board" is only one part of that web, which has a LOT of information about the park, and how to get the most out of your visit there. As was mentioned earlier in this thread... While there is some overlap between the Naturist Lifestyle and the Swinger Lifestyle, there are some vast differences too, and you would be very wise to know which situation you are getting into, and what is acceptable (or not). Again... Do your homework. As for the OP (original post)... Again, what you do with it is way more of an issue than getting an erection in a public nude situation... that is strictly Naturist in tone. Most naturist facilities (the private ones for sure) require that EVERYONE carry a towel to sit on. This is a sanitation issue (and a good idea in general). For the guys, the towel can come in handy as a quick cover-up too. I have seen dozens of posts by guys worrying about this. But the reality is that usually in very short order, this becomes a non issue. For most folks (especially guys, and the erection issue), being in a publicly nude situation can be a real mind twister. It goes completely against a lot of social programming that we've been subjected to for our entire life. Once the reality sets in however, that in a Naturist environment, it is OK to be naked among a lot of other naked people (in a non-sexual way), the tension usually just melts away (and sporting a hard-on typically becomes less of an issue). People do not typically stare at your junk, especially if they are talking to you. So acceptance is high, and judgement (and pressure) are low, much as it is (or should be) in the Swinger Lifestyle. The truth too is that when (most) everyone around you is naked, it is easier to blend in by being naked also. Another thing about public nudity is that it tends to tear down a lot of barriers, and "level the playing field" so-to-speak. There is typically not much room for pretense when everyone is naked, and that can be an extraordinarily liberating experience.

Thank you for your insight, it gave me something to think about. Polyamory as a term is something I have been looking at, as I do recognize in me the need for a deeper connection to fully enjoy our experiences in LS. I have no intention ever, how ever much feeling there would come, to leave my true love, the man I trust in this world more than anyone else and know he will stand by me as well. On another hand I somehow have started to feel that having a bit deeper connection with someone other than my husband wouldn't be something that would take away from him. I read from a description of polyamory that it is similar to having multiple children. The amount of love you feel for your children is not something that will be divided in shares, having a certain maximum amount. There is always more to be given. I enjoy the contact with my male friend, I feel he understands and shares some interests that I don't share with my husband, it is nice to have the ability to have a contact like that. However nice I feel this guy is, he has done things in his life my morals would never approve, which is also one thing that has made me think that this is safe to continue. Never ever could I want to actually share a life with a person like that, no matter what happened. Still, having this frienship has helped me to step down a bit from moral highground, to actually be able to be more understanding about people and life, which I think will also help in the future when trying to teach teenage kids about life and be understanding of their possible misshaps. I sure used to be one tough lady with my ideas what is right and what is wrong. Still, for me these criteria have remained the same, however it helps in human relationships to be less judgemental and I enjoy the new me. ?

There are plenty of marriages that are loving and happy and do not involve sex. I get that this is not something you want, but let's just put that out there. Also, as soon as she said she didn't want sex, you just immediately stopped loving her? How deep/strong was that love to begin with if you can switch it off because of one aspect of a marriage? That is scary, to me, as a woman who has pain with sex. I have that fear that my husband would do the same thing you did. As for the other person's comment about monogamy also meaning you fulfill all your partner's sexual desires, unless that was agreed to at the start, you can't go unilaterally amending the agreed upon contract/vows now and not expect repercussions. What if those sexual desires involved something the other person wasn't morally comfortable with, are you still obligated to help them fulfill them? I don't buy into that. If you aren't going to leave her because you see it as quitting (which, in a sense, it is), and she is not willing/able to budge on sex-- seems you are at a stalemate. Also, if you don't trust women..... might make it hard to find anyone else to have a healthy relationship with anyways (not said in a judging way as I have trust issues with everyone ). Also, you could reframe that "not a quitter" into not quitting on your love or relationship. Otherwise, it seems you just want to feel like a martyr. You mentioned that she was willing to do other aspects of sex, but that isn't enough for you and you don't like feeling like it is charity sex. Well, to me, that is a compromise on her part. She doesn't want the penetration (which, you guys have no idea how painful it can be when there are issues....but to me fair to you, she should talk to her doctor about it), but seemed willing to do other aspects. We get so hung up on penetration and orgasms, that we forget about all the other sexual things that can be done. Unless she says it is charity, perhaps you are reading into it or projecting. The fact that she was willing to do those things for you, to me, shows she is trying. So, to answer your question: For various reasons throughout the years, I have at times not been able to have penetrative sex (or as much as my husband wanted). I fully expected him to stay monogamous (we weren't swinging during those periods) and to weather the storm with me. I was able and willing to provide him with oral and manual (though still not as much as he wanted because those hurt too). He watched a lot of porn and masturbated frequently (though, he watches porn like an addict, so that may not have had anything to do with me). I have thought about what I would do if I ever get to the point where I just can't do anything for a sexual release for the two of us. I might be willing to allow him to find someone else to have sex with in that case, but only if we weren't having sex or doing anything sexual at all anymore. I don't want to catch anything. I can't answer that question until it happens-- no one can. We can only say what we think/hope we would do. Anyone on here who says they would "for sure" do something is full of it. We don't know until we get there. There are a lot of emotions that go into saying you can't do something and allowing your partner to go elsewhere.

If vaginal sex is painful, what about oral, anal or manual sex? You guys need to talk.

Two men in you at the same time is not easy. For me my butt is my least favorite opening to have a penis in. I won’t say I never do it, I just rather other things. It wasn’t my idea that we try this. Finding the right position the guys thought was fun. Believe me Google helps a little but it looks easier than it is. And when the guys decided they would change places when the first tries failed I made them really clean and wash first. Then we needed both up and working at the same time. We did have some laughs, at my expense. As Chicc said a vibrator and a penis did the trick. Our friend said he enjoyed feeling the vibe too.

Hi, I'm a small-built lady and also fantasize about this, feeling both of them cum. I guess most men will shy away from something like that. Never dared to suggest this to a boyfriend anyway.

hahahahaahah!

Been there done that when the oldest kids were in High School as we were going on TV. They never made a big deal about it, and our married daughter says we are the normal parents (Who would have thought.) The trick in our mind was to be consistent, we never said "no sex". What we did tell them was that sex did not mean love and that they should be careful and that the order of things was important: Graduate HS, Graduate College, Get Married then, children. Seem this they all heard. To date none are swingers but they know we are and as our daughter told us after visiting us at a hotel take over, when she was in college (not to take part but so we could take her out to dinner and spend some time with her) "It's just a Frat party for adults.