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I will try to keep this short. This happened in a club a few months ago and need some advice. My husband and I are dancing, minding our own business and a couple comes over and tries to separate us. They were a good looking couple so he danced with her, I danced with him. While we were dancing, she loudly says to me, "OMG you are his dream woman he has been dying to meet you. I'm sure you are making his night just dancing with him." Already, I am uncomfortable because I felt a little anger in her voice. When the song ended we thanked them for the dance and again she was gushing about how hot he thinks I am. We walk away and get drinks. I forgot about them and we were simply enjoying the night. Later in the evening I left my husband to go to the restroom. They were standing nearby and when she saw me, she grabs me and pulls me close to her. She says, "What are you doing with that man he's horrible. There is no way I would ever have sex with him. You can do so much better than him!" I told her I completely disagree, that he is my husband and I think he's very attractive. I turned to walk away while I hear her telling me that she's shocked that I am actually married to this man. (Although this is unimportant, my husband is a really good looking man, never have heard anything different). I did not say a word to my husband because I decided she's crazy and would never say something hurtful to him. We go into the playroom and are happily playing together. Guess who comes over and tries to play with us? She was all over my husband and obviously not knowing what had been said, he wanted to play with them. I whispered in his ear that I did not want to play. He was not thrilled but told them another time. To diffuse the confusion I simply said she had said some unkind things when I bumped into her and I wanted nothing to do with her. When we see them occassionally he still asks me to be nice to her but I just ignore her. What would you do?

We have had quite a few experiences in the short time we have been participating in the LS. One couple we have been with a few times, the husband hangs back and watches for the most part, some participation but mostly seems to enjoy watching things play out (which I can understand, I find watching my wife an incredible turn on, but I like to play too) But they are about on the same ground as us. Slow moving and each time takes some warm up and talk before we dive in. The other couple is very experienced, the husband usually has my wife's attention within a few minutes, and has her undivided attention in just a few more, I love seeing this ,however I am more shy (while clothed) and will sit next to his wife and place a hand on her knee, or just sit close to her, I have given her a back rub to start things off. I don't really know where I am at after 14 years with the same woman. It feels like trying to date again, without the objective of a full relationship . I brought this up the third time they came over, apologized to his wife for being shy. LOL, she said, "hun, you're anything but shy". Her husband said "When you have been swinging for a while, you get a feeling for what people are looking for, and when to do what" Does this seem normal to those in the lifestyle for a while? I can turn on the charm no problem and I am good at making people feel at ease, but that is mostly talking. Maybe it is just because I have been with the same number of people since 2004 until early this month, and am still really new to working my way up. Any thoughts, suggestions? Mr. Dazed

Sometimes it's nice to have the last dance with the one you came with. There's that comfortable familiarity finishing with your partner after you've been all worked up by someone else. As I think most guys know, sometimes there is pressure to perform that can be debilitating. Shit gets in your head about performance, condom stress, whatever. Having the flexibility to go back to your own partner, or the understanding that's where it will end up can take the pressure off. Nothing wrong with that.

Don't judge your experience by this. It will happen when it happens. In the mean time show some interest yourselves. If you want to be appealing have a great time with your SO and LOOK like your are having a great time. Others want to be part of a great time.

This is solid advice in any setting. The common vanilla mistake is to mindlessly compliment something about a woman that she has no control over because you were noticing it. Pick something that she obviously put some thought and effort to, and that also compliments something she has no control over. I was once in danger of getting caught staring at the cleavage of a beautiful blond I didn't know very well, and managed to think fast enough to turn it into "that's a really cool necklace". I've been having sex with her for ten years now.

Yeah, we can play out the "what if" scenarios to any conclusion we'd like and they'd probably all be pretty reasonable in hindsight. My first marriage was way too young. It was what was expected of us and we followed blindly along the trail laid out for us. Had she, by some miracle, been OK with the lifestyle she would have gone all in for a couple years just like everything else she did then arbitrarily decided she wanted to join the sweater knitting club instead, leaving me hanging and wondering what caused the lane change. It probably would have ended the marriage sooner than it did but then I might have ended up in another equally bad relationship rather than where I am now. After the divorce and a couple of tries at being in a relationship with vanilla women, yet hoping they might have a sense of adventure, I finally reached an age and level of maturity to be able to say "this is what I want. Who would like to join me on an adventure?" My wife had much the same frustrations, knowing there was more to be experienced but not finding the person she felt she would ever be able to trust with her "kinky" desires and her emotional well being in the aftermath. In a nutshell, that's how we met. After dating and getting serious we knew that we were meant to experience this together. We had to build the trust and communication first but we knew we were working toward a goal not only of a lifetime relationship but one that would allow us to play with others together. Since I am at a point that I am happy in life I don't think I have any real regrets about what got me to this point.

Here is my 2 cents...(It's Marni). We hosted a private party and invited 8 couples. There was one man who was coming and I did not have any real interest in him, mostly because he was somewhat introverted and I took that as disinterest. We knew them from a club. After everyone arrived and we had a drink, he came over to me and kissed me. Just like that. You know what, it worked. As soon as he showed some interest, I was onboard. Sometimes when you are shy, it comes across as disinterest to the other person.

The key I've found is to dig deep and channel your inner cool guy. Be friendly, be social, smile, have a good time etc. The more you look like a confident fun person the more people will gravitate to you. I know that sounds easier said than done, but it's the only way. In the last four years since we got into the ls, I myself was not who I am today. I'm a good looking guy but I had serious confidence issues going back to being bullied in school, shot down by many girls before my wife, etc. The longer you're in the ls the easier this will be. Also, think as your wife as your wingman. You said she gets some interest already and that's good. When we're in a new club with no friends we just stick together, talking like we're in a date, making jokes and smiling at each other. If you're doing that people will see that you look fun. When you see someone you like, have her be the one who initiates talking first. I let my wife do that as it works great. She'll go hey what's y'all's names, where are you from, etc and you just chime right in behind her.

Some one needs to be kicked to the curb YESTERDAY. The boyfriend or your wife. Her choice.

As soon as I read the part about how she was acting on the dance floor, I knew where this was headed. She's crazy, just ignore her or run the risk of giving her exactly what she wants, which is drama. Regarding telling your husband, right then and there probably not the best time to go into all the gory detail, but I think after the fact that first night I would have filled him in on what happened from start to finish.

I keep seeing this topic coming up. If you are comfortable having sex with a person why put restrictions on what you do? If you normally kiss during sex then kiss. If you don’t have problems with swallowing and it doesn’t bother you then swallow. I know there are those that feel they can’t swallow their own husband. I wouldn’t expect them to swallow another partner.

We go to sandy hook and have seen a couple of guys get hard. it’s usually gawkers and they roll over on their stomach when it happens.

I'm a male who usually plays with couples. I much prefer the MFM scene which gives her maximum pleasure while relieving each of the men of sole responsibility for her joy. FMF depends on the situation. Am I the center of attention? In that case, no thank you. That would be sensory overload. On the other hand if one of the women is the center and the other two of us please her, then I am in.

2 guys

I participated in a DVP with a wonderful married couple multiple times. We would only get together once a month as the wife considered it her husband and hers "special date night" and wanted it to always be special. We started doing DVP after a couple of times being together and I'll admit at first it sort of weirded me out being so close to another man but soon realized this was all about the woman being pleasured. The husband was straight like me but he loved bringing his wife to sexual ecstasy. It was a HUGE turn on to see how the wife would just get lost in fucking and cumming. I've never experienced DVP again and I do so miss it. Slow and slippery was our motto.

It's difficult to just happen into a dvp. It does require all participants to be on the same page. It's good to be aware that getting into the position does require a decent sense of humor. So, since she is concerned about enough room, be very careful. You should be the top guy. Get the bottom guy in as deep as possible and allow her time to adjust to him. The position is bottom guy with legs together, her cowgirl, chest to chest, you are coming in doggie with your legs between hers and his. Getting your dick in should be done pretty slowly and with too much lube. Once you get the head in, let her adjust again and don't push until you feel her start to push back, or tell you to give her some more. Once you are in, you will still probably have to go pretty slowly but let her set the pace. Keeping everyone somewhere between soft and shooting is tricky but with commitment and practice, you too can soon be DVP masters.

We have found the swing sites (SLS, SDC, AFF) were the best way to find compatible people for swinging. The recommendation to not have any recognizable photos in your profile is good. Share plain vanilla face photos with prospective people via messages. Ask them if they are into fucklicking. Some guys and gals are not into it. Meet them in a restaurant for lunch or dinner. Have a prearranged single with your partner to indicate acceptable or not. If acceptable, get together with them at a nearby hotel room. When everyone is in the room, everyone gets nude. Nature will take over from there.

So obviously you have never been to a nudist resort as opposed to (perhaps) a swinging lifestyle resort. They are two completely different things - even though there are undoubtedly some swingers at many nudist resorts, but they know well enough to either be discrete or typically be ejected. Nudism is not about sex, swinging is all about sex. True nudists men rarely have a problem "keeping it down", they are accustomed to seeing nude people around them doing everyday things all the time, it's no big deal to them in that setting. Often they are also family resorts so children are present. Official clothing optional locations, especially public ones are also not intended as swinging locations. However there are often the looky loos, creeps and perverts - who also btw often do not get naked. Those are typically the ones sporting their little stiffies and thinking for some pathetic reason that people are going to get excited seeing it. A lot of public locations, both official and unofficial, with plenty of cover have sexual activity going on in the bushes and people - almost always bi and gay men - trolling for sex partners. Surprisingly a lot of them are mature bi married men. Weekends at those locations typically see more couples and women, midweek mostly men. Nudists tend to avoid those locations unless they have no other options. The official public locations are usually patrolled by rangers or police for illegal activity. Interestingly now I think about it I do not know of any public Nude (i.e. NO clothing permitted) locations as opposed to Clothing Optional ones.

I'm not sure how to tell you how to work your way into the act of your wife being "fuck-licked" since that probably varies greatly from wife to wife. If my late wife is an example, I can assure you that you won't have to talk her into it the second time. So, if this is her fantasy, talk to her a lot. Explore ideas. Keep your eyes open for partners. We preferred couples but beware! You will have two women who won't have to be talked into it the second time. After we found that magic couple, Laura and I (and the other couple) found the following description worked best. A couch works better than a bed. Start with the women sitting on the couch with the men kneeling between their legs. Don't get in a hurry. Laura liked to have me start at the bottom of her slit, using my tongue to gently spread the labia sideways, slowing working myself up until the labia was spread widely along the length and above her clit, which would be standing erect and anxious. After the ladies have had enough of this (may take awhile) both of the men should sit on the couch and lean comfortably back while the ladies climb aboard. Laura liked to start out face to face with her chosen fucker. (She liked kissing.) Eventually, the fuckee-lickee would turn around into reverse cowgirl position and reinsert the fucker's penis. Both would spread their legs and the licker would kneel between them. I've never questioned my sexuality so I wasn't put off by working around my friend's penis to (once again) spread the labia away with my tongue until her clit was once again standing firm at the top, easily licked. One challenge to look out for at this stage is that the fucker's cock tends to slip out when the action becomes enthusiastic. This can be avoided by the licker pursing his lips and tongue around the clit while using his chin to hold the fucker's cock in place. The lady who is not "It" can amuse herself by alternately kissing the fucker and the lady who is "It." After a sufficient number of orgasms, which varies with individuals, the other lady can become "It" and the fucker and licker can exchange assignments. One very pleasant variation is for one of the ladies to be the licker. Laura was fond of this as well because, at the proper time, she could help herself to a treat of man-cream. Keep experimenting and report back to this forum.

Agreed! We make love to one another, we boink our friends. That doesn't mean that there aren't tender moments with friends but depth of feelings remain between us. On a side note, we've reduced our rules to just a few, same room to start (1st time anyway), no anal, no pain or humiliation and ladies cum 1st. Damn…we really ARE easy!!

I too always give a warning. Mrs Doc is a swallower, particularly if she's really in the moment but she also prefers a warning so she can decide if she wants to swallow of have him cum on her boobs. Sometimes its a tough call……..

When we first started playing we didn’t have a discussion about limits. Was I supposed to kiss or not? I let my partner decide. I had no problems kissing, I saw my wife kissing too. My wife has no problem swallowing. It didn’t matter the first time playing. Neither I or the other guy came from a blow job. The first time I was about to cum in her mouth I warned her, not knowing how she would react. She had no problem. I have always warned any partner who has brought to that point. The fun thing is that all the partners do something a little different.

One time we tried this and I did all the pounding, our fuck buddy came really quick even though I was the one pounding. Feeling your penis heads rub together feels good. I didnt cum when he came and in fact it got too messy and her pussy was too wide since he took his dick out. My dick kept slipping out so I just jacked off and came on her outside pussy lips and his nut sack lol.

Condoms don’t feel good to anyone. STDs don’t feel good, either.

In public, I tend to go with, what would make my mother (the ultimate vanilla innocent) uncomfortable? That is, not what she wouldn't want her daughter to be wearing, but what would make her uncomfortable to see in general? I don't think that I have the right to impose personal fetishes for public exposure on an unsuspecting public. (actually I don't have said fetishes, possibly because of above thought process. My husband does to a certain extent, but he wouldn't try to get me to oblige, because he knows how I feel)) Now at the club... underwear? We don't need no underwear!!

Ummmmmmmmm Yes there are ladies that do, I'm one of them. Never been told I am loose. You know your pussy has a ton of muscles. If you work them out, you can stay almost as tight as a virgin no matter what you put in there or push out haha (as in baby). And it's just fine to have two men at the exact same time. If it's not for you then fine. And it's not like when most women get DP they can just throw two cocks in there. There is work involved in all of that.

Well I plan on doing this very soon. I can't wait to have two men in me at the same time!

No haven't tried it but it is on the fantasy wish list!! Mrs Spoomonkey