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Here's a blog post I wrote about the term 'cuckold'. It appears on the Noveltrove site. Hope this helps you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Are you a cuckold? And do you care? In this world, cuckold is usually considered to be a derogatory term. Technically, any husband who's wife sleeps with other men is a cuckold, and society automatically condemns him. (Of course, any wife who sleeps with other men is a ‘slut’ and is condemned, but that’s another blog!) In actuality, there are three different connotations of the word ‘cuckold.’ If your wife is sleeping around, one of them fits you. The first usage is ‘standard’ and has a historical context behind it. The term was invented in the middle of the eleventh century and comes from ‘cuckoo’ - that bird has the habit of using other bird’s nest to lay their eggs. It usually meant a man who’s wife was having adulterous affairs with one or more other men. This was a big deal well into the nineteenth century, because a wife was a man’s property. There are plenty of court cases where men sued other men for improper usage of their goods. Of course if they brought the suit to court the husband usually got snickered at. This definition continues into modern time to describe a man who’s spouse is cheating on him without his knowledge or agreement. Now, of course, girls are much more equal than they used to be, and I suspect that many more married women are sharing themselves than used to be before the women’s liberation movement and the invention of effective birth control. (I, for one, applaud the revolution!) In the modern context, the term ‘cuckold’ has evolved. The second definition is used for some men who have the fetish of their wives having sex outside the marriage and humiliating them in the process. The affront can start with simple embarrassment of the man, (“I slept with Jake today, what are you going to do about it?") to the wife forcing him to watch as she screws someone. She might tell him about the large size of the man who’s screwing him, comparing it to his tiny penis. She might make him wear a cock cage so that he isn’t allowed to orgasm except when she’s willing. Often, he tends to think of himself as a sissy. While this isn’t my cup of tea, if it makes you happy, who am I to judge? Finally, there’s the ‘modern’ definition. Today there are many couples who engage in swinging and/or hotwifeing. With her husband’s permission and (sometimes) participation, a wife is promiscuous. In these situations, the man is technically a cuckold. But since he doesn’t view his wife as ‘property’, he isn’t upset or threatened by her infidelity. In fact he often encourages it to both their pleasure. Are you a cuckold? If so, which kind?

Get yourself on ourhotwives.org - there's a section for cucks

...So me and my guy finally went to a club together. My first time at a club, but not his, though he hasnt been in involved in the LS in years. We went to The Velvet Curtain in Dallas, attending the New Years Eve Bash they were having. We didn't play with anyone or even play while there at all. We did watch a little in a public play area and that was hot. I loved the way everyone seemed so nice.. It was a great time, even though we didn't really find anyone to play with, I had a blast. And now I feel much more comfortable going to other clubs and trying other things. We are new to this...so I feel this first step was a total success... Thanks for reading.

We have received cards in the past, and ran across them a month or so later, just to scratch our heads trying to remember who was who. This is the reason for putting our pic on the card. "Oh Yeah! I remember them!"

the correct answer to the ourhotwive.org registration question is 'ull'. The whole word is 'bull' but they've filled in the b for you. Yeah, a little weird.

It sounds very much like you're on the right path. The way you are starting out sounds very similar to the way many couples that had success in the lifestyle started out, including our own. Keep discussion open, honest, and non-judgmental. Everything is fair play. Always remember that you need to move at the pace of the slower of the two of you in going into the lifestyle. Each person is different, and one partner might be so excited they want to swing this weekend, while the other might want to take some months to mentally sort through it. You sound like you're on the same page. Make sure it stays that way. If you keep on as you are, and keep those lines of communication completely open, I think you will find the first time filled with nerves, but in a good way. Speaking as a guy, I think you will find it incredibly erotic and very satisfying watch your wife having sex with another man. Hopefully your wife will feel likewise about you with another woman. It's a good idea to lose weight in general, but keep in mind your own impressions of yourselves are very often wrong. People getting into lifestyle (forgive me ladies), especially women, have sometimes intense self doubt about their appearance, as if no one will find them attractive. Unless you're just hideous and/or have done nothing to put your best foot forward, then you will find couples to play with. That's the thing; act like you have self respect with your manner of dress, how you present yourself, how you eat. Others will pick up on it. This is true in life in general, and true in swinging. As a guy, if I were looking at two identical twins, and purely from a visual aspect, I would be far more drawn to the one in a dress, heels, hair nicely done, than the one in beaten up sneakers, dirty jeans, and unkempt hair.

The cards we use are typical. They have us pictured together, our first names, an SLS screen name, and an SZC screen name. If dropped accidentally on the floor of the community center, it is very unlikely that even a nosy person would be able to put two and two together to make four (pun intended). This scheme is also supported by the fact that our screen names do not contain any kind of salacious implications.

I think it's wonderful if this works for you. The sexual freedom is a real rush. My wife can have sex with whomever she likes, but we talk beforehand. I might not ever meet the guy, but I always know where she is and with whom. It's a safety thing. She knows the cavalry is available if necessary, and this puts her more at ease. She has a better time for it. She's never had a problem with one of her lovers, but all the same this makes her more comfortable. We've talked about the idea of going to a nice club in a very upscale hotel, and having me watch as she gets picked up by a guy and takes him to our room. Hasn't happened yet, but perhaps someday.

I'm still confused on where the line is drawn between cuckholding and hotwifing...

I'm not seeing it either. For us it depended on the situation. If we met on-line, they knew our rules by the time we met in-person. If we met at a club or house party, we disclosed after someone suggested going into a room, but before we got there.

Ha ha ha!! THATS good advice!

Take your time, enjoy the journey and not just the destination, stick to your rules and limits, and go for it!

We only had one experience with separate rooms and, yes, it was better. A couple that we'd dated several times, and us, took a weekend trip to Galveston and we had adjoining rooms. Now, honestly, we didn't reserve those with the intent of separate room swinging. We spent the afternoon just enjoying the beach and then the evening in the lounge drinking and dancing. When we got back to the room(s) there was no discussion or thought. His wife kissed him goodnight and my wife kissed me goodnight. The door between the rooms was shut and that was the last I saw my wife until breakfast the next morning. I was amazed at how different his wife was and much more I enjoyed her that night than any previous encounter. My wife never said but I think they had a similar experience.

My late-teenage daughter from my first marriage and my ex-wife know, but only to a point. They know that my current wife and I have had sex outside of marriage, and that the other is ok with it, but nothing about the number of partners or other kinky stuff.

This post begs the question…What kind of man/husband are you? If you can't see that this guy is being disrespectful of you, your marriage, your life, your friends and your choice than I suggest you get a white cane. If your wife is willing to condone the guy's behavior, I suggest you get a new wife cause you're going to be needing one in the near future anyway if the "boyfriend" has anything to say about it.

As the father of 5, and witnessing all 5 births, ANY perks the ladies may receive are well and truly earned. As if monthly periods weren't enough.

Brought back a funny memory of someone who came before we did anything more than heavy kissing. We were teens and he got too excited. I have had guys come on entry or in a stroke. I have never made anyone feel bad about it happening. I have also been with ones that never came. I thought it was my fault in not being tight or something I did wrong. I know that it’s stupid to think that.

I hate to admit it but once while we were swinging with another couple, I was still playing with the other man's wife, and mine had already been fucked. His wife was beautiful, the kind you say I can't believe I'm going to have sex with her, so I entered her doggystyle she said "dont cum in me" that did it had to pull out fast. I had never cum that fast.

Check my recent post. While I was in a woman friend recently, another man asked if we wanted to do a DVP. I shot immediately. Too hot.

Don't really know where to begin, so many things happened during our cruise. Prior to going, we chatted with about six couples on SLS and SDC, and unfortunately we didn't get to meet with any of them, with the exception of one. It just didn't feel right (due to our zero experience) to try and connect with any. But my husband and I had discussed that will meet with anyone of the six if they would make contact. So we ran into one couple that we had chatted on the first day, but that was a negative experience during our dinner. In our inexperience during this cruise we found out the difference in so many swingers' styles- some good, and some not our style (who are we to judge). We know of a few that did not shock us, but this one particular couple was pushy, and the guy was a little disrespectful toward his wife. We noticed one of the common questions from meeting couples was "what drove you into the lifestyle?" So we asked (note that we are sitting with two couples), and what this couple said surprised us. His wife said she couldn't keep up with his sexual appetite, and you could tell she wasn't happy about it. Now in our minds that sounds like taking one for the team. So we got asked the same question, and my husband replied that nothing in this world turns him on more than his wife, and he can only take me so far (I was flattered). But then the guy from this couple said, "BS- it's because he is tired of you"!! Regardless of whether it was a joke, that is something you do not say to a couple trying this for the first time. I will admit that this set me off with my husband and went off on him when we got back on our cabin. My husband got upset and told me that we are not here for anything but ourselves, and "after 20+ years of being married, why would you listen to a complete stranger?" He reassured me that we have no expectations and to just enjoy the sexy atmosphere. So we decided to go to one of the parties. In the back of the ship they had a party in the open air with beds spread out around the dance floor. I can't explain how sexy it was to be dancing with my husband with all these couples, some in orgies, some one on one- it was very erotic! I was dressed as Snow White in a vey sexy outfit, and my husband was in a Prince Charming outfit. In the middle of dancing, he pushed me to a couch in between two couples, and started going down on me OMG!! Totally unexpected. My husband is very conservative so this was very surprising, and this was our first time doing this in public. I was so turned on that I squirted all over him. I tried to return the favor but he wasn't comfortable enough for that so we took it to our veranda. The next day I decided to try one of the many M&G's during the cruise, this one was done by a very well-known sex therapist, and was an under-45 crowd (at least it was supposed to be, we had maybe 3 couples that you could tell were well over the 60 mark). No worries from our end until I got to one of them. I'll explain how this M&G was set up. We had about 40+ couples set up in 2 circles, one inner, and one outer circle. The inner circle would rotate and meet with the next couple in the outer circle for about ten minutes each, and rotate again. During this rotation (with my husband next to me), we would engage in eye, smelling, and touch contact with the other couple. In one of the connections with a nice looking couple, my husband got really close to this couples wife that she started making moaning sounds, and you could tell she really connected with him. This was good for him and bad for me, because her husband was ether so turned on, or had a green eye of seeing his wife enjoy my husband that he totally ignored me, and just stared at his wife. Funny thing is that I got so turned on by the whole process that It didn't bother me that he was ignoring me. So after a few rotations, we reached this other couple that we both connected with, and he was very nice and warned me of the next rotation with the elder couple- that he has heard nothing but complaints about the husband. Sure enough when we reached the next couple, he stuck his tongue in my ear, and asked if he could kiss me. I firmly said no, and pushed him off. After the circle completed, some couples stayed chatting but we quietly decided to leave, talking about our experience, and laughed at the situation. The next day as we walked around the pool the one couple that warned us came up to us saying they been looking all over for us, and even went back asking the sex therapist if they knew our room number. After chatting a little we made arrangements to hang out during the theme night as we had already made dinner arrangements with a different couple that night (that is another story). So we meet the couple at the glow in the dark theme night. We had a blast after a little dancing and a few drinks, so I decided to ask if they wanted to hangout in our room, and have drink in the veranda with no strings attached. We were not expecting anything. They said yes and went to our room. I cannot recall how things got started- but they did, and really fast! The couple knew we had zero experience, so we kinda let them lead the way. Funny thing is we never discussed our comfort level or boundaries, but my husband and I had already decided we would be full swap with the right connection. We had agreed that if we started on soft swap and things would get hot, then we would have something we can hold against each other (in our opinion, we waited to jump in the the LS until we felt comfortable enough to do full swap, and thought that soft swap means we're not ready and had trust issues). So back to the story. We have no experience whatsoever, and I have never been with a woman. Well, it got started with me kissing the other girl. It felt so natural that we took it to the bed and gave the boys a hot show. She went down on me, and I returned the favor (now I know why my husband loves the taste of a woman). After that, we asked the boys if they wanted to continue watching or are they going to join in- the clothes came off quickly. I started with a BJ with the other couple's husband, and his wife was doing the same to mine. Afterwards they returned the favor and I started kissing the other girl as the husbands were eating us out. Not sure how the full swap started with so many hands and bodies touching each other, but I definitely recall grabbing the condoms. I gave one to the guy who had his cock rubbing in between my ass and I remember putting the condom on my husband and guiding it into another woman. As I kissed my husband, the other guy starts pounding me from the back. Here I am kissing my husband as he is fucking another woman, and her husband is fucking me from behind. OMG this was so erotic! After soo many positions, the guy cums inside me (with condom of course). My husband pulls out of her, takes the condom off, and cums all over the wife. I then cleaned her up with my tongue and gave her a kiss, swapping my husbands cum into her mouth. As they were leaving my husband apologized for any boundary that might have been crossed, as we never discussed it. They LOL and said everything evolved so naturally that we all had the right connection. My husband replied, "you know you popped our cherry, and thank you for the awesome time". Afterward we tried to discuss the events that just took place, but couldn't keep our hands off each other. We must have done it at least 7 times during the night till 6AM. We have never felt closer to each other. The next day we played once more, and this time it even got hotter as my husband asked if the wives wanted to play together without an audience, and we both agreed. Our cabin had 3 sections- the veranda facing the back of the ship, the living room, with a sliding door to the bedroom. So as the boys were talking in the living room, us girls headed to the bedroom. WOW! I can honestly say I enjoyed the wife more than her husband, only thing missing was toys. We did just about every position possible. After a few orgasms we talked and agreed to give the boys some attention. So we went into the living room, and the boys were sitting across from each other. We went first to her husband, took off his pants, and gave him a double BJ as we are kissing each other. We then proceeded to my husband and did the same favor. After that, we took them both to the bedroom. My husband asked the wife if she would sit on his face (he loves the taste of a woman), and she agreed. Her husband was fascinated with my ass, and bent me over and started pounding me even harder then before. I looked at my husband and saw that she was really enjoying riding my husband's face. So I took my husband's cock in my mouth as her husband kept pounding me (my first time having two cocks in me). After many different positions, we switched to our own partners, as I was riding my husband the other guy pulled out of his wife and came all over my breasts and face. I then proceeded to clean his cock with my mouth. At the same time his wife started cleaning my breasts and face with her tongue, and made me taste her husband as I made her taste mine the previous night. We stayed in the bed, while the other couple went into the living area. My husband started playing with me, and we started all over again as the couple said good night. This time we kept count, and my husband had 10 orgasams that night (can't keep count on mine as I can be multi orgasmic). Needless to say, we got a first option on the 2019 April cruise and already reserved a cabin. It's a bit far out, but we are also looking into the November 2018 cruise. Some couples have said that your first time can be like a magnifying glass- we can truly say that is true!! We never felt so in love with each other. A lot more stuff happened in the cruise, but we just wanted share our first full swap experience. What worked for us may not work for some, but in our opinion, it is about the after effects that makes this lifestyle so special. We both kept checking on each other. But me and my husband have that connection that we can feel, and see what we are both thinking without saying a word, and all we felt was pure bliss from both sides. Thanks for hearing us out on our first lifestyle experience.

Yes, we have done the hotwifing thing. It is a major turn-on. My wife has my blessing to play when she wants as long as I am told about it afterwards. It has definitely ramped up our sex life. And it makes her feel really wanted.