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Laura and I met some couples "out and about," in-line at a fast pizza place, during intermission at a ballet, a rodeo. The first was a one-time thing but the latter two were long-term playmates. Just keep your eyes open and watch body-language. If the body-language has been good, and you never expect to see them again, there is nothing lost if YOUR WIFE asks, "How do y'all feel about mate sharing?"

I was fortunate, EMT, to have a wife who had degrees in Psychology and Communication. Laura had studied Body Language in depth. Therefore, she had an uncanny ability to read people regardless of their words. It was at least twenty years ago, probably longer, but we would never have left a couple at a restaurant when we brought them there. One can also use body language to gauge another person's interest. Smile into their eyes, look at their lips and back to their eyes. If a person looks at your lips in turn, and smiles back, he is interested in kissing you. In that case, Laura got positive readings from the husband but I didn't from the wife. Because we weren't likely to ever see them again, she took a chance. Unfortunately, it wasn't to be. As I wrote somewhere above, I thought I'd tell this story because I didn't want anybody to think I was saying it always works to ask Laura's "magic question." One has to have a reasonable guess that they won't be offended.

Thanks for the follow-up! Situations like this and their dynamics really interest me because this could very well happen to us in the future! However, since my wife and I discussed swinging and have continued to do so since last month, we are more focused on being up front (when we feel it's safe to do so) about the purpose of our socialization...or at least what our thoughts are of the other person/couple. So whereas a traditional friendship/intro may start off with talking about jobs, sports, politics, etc...expressing our attraction would be more effective I would think. And this seems to be a popular premise in the lifestyle...to start out by complimenting others on their clothes/hair/looks and then the dialogue progressing from there. While I'm not sure how long ago this happened to you, at least nowadays in the age of Uber/Lyft, there's more options for not getting stranded if things don't work out.

Wait...I get that the woman clammed up...but what did the guy say/do?? Note to self, NEVER share a vehicle with a potential swap unless everyone is on the same page BEFORE the ride. This is good to know! Thanks for sharing that! Personally, we've had similar experiences with vanilla friends for years!!! We'll be joking, my wife or I take it to a sexual level, and everyone else acts like they're in grade school.

Thanks for the reply, EMT! You definitely should use your own words. "Y'all wanna swap spouses and fuck?" might be a bit abrupt, though. I would be remiss if I didn't relate our sole bad experience. We were staying in a hotel in Amarillo, Texas, when we met an attractive California couple at the swimming pool and invited them to dinner at The Big Texan, one of the few places I know where one can order bison or rattlesnake. They were friendly, didn't object when Laura arranged the seating with her next to him and his wife next to me. We laughed, joked and exchanged suggestive body language. When Laura unleashed the Big Question, however, the woman clammed up and didn't say another word. We made the drive back to the hotel in silence and never saw them again. Alura

I like the idea of being up front about it. And you have a point about nothing being lost. But in a local store, I think it'd be good for us to say hello or something else first to make sure we're not forgetting this is maybe a person from our church or kid's school... This actually happened to me shortly after posting this question. Someone at the store said hello to me but I didn't immediately recognize her. So I said hello back and we both kept walking. Then it clicked...parent from my kid's class. Would have absolutely sucked to have said "hey, how do you feel about swapping partners?" I think I'd want to use something other than "mate sharing". Sounds a little too clinical/academic. Thanks!

We set up a profile and started looking for another couple. Of course, we were in too big of a hurry and 'settled' on a couple that wasn't a great match, but it didn't do any harm and we all had fun (only same room sex and some minimal cross touching), but it opened the door and allowed us to both see that we were okay with what happened and we wanted to keep going.

Glad you had a great time. One of the takeaways should be that the OP was nervous about something, discussed it with us. Then he and his wife went, found the nervousness they had was unwarranted. At least 75% of the time, the "Just go and enjoy yourself" advice is the best.

Patented moves...I like it! That makes a lot of sense about the second time. Thanks for sharing!

We use condoms for STD protection. They are not totally protective, but they help. I am not so confident in them for pregnancy prevention. I’ve had a few “accidents” where I left the condom in my partner. One went home with it in her and texted us that she found it while at home. Is it possible low hormone dosage BC pills would work for you?

We were not the appetizers. A few other couples were staying at the hosts’ home, so we got a legit tour of a remarkable home. The husband’s shop was industrial level. He has a car lift in his garage. He holds many patents. Wow! Back to the party, we swapped with a couple who were major league all stars. I, the husband, recuperated and went on to have fun in my first FFM, while my wife had more fun with another guy. We are on a winning streak with house parties. We knew most of the attendees, played with a couple we did not know. Fun!

Even in swinging you will find some unethical behavior like removing protection without the partner's consent and violation of other boundaries. It's too bad he chose to ruin what sounded like a wonderful time. As for condoms as birth control we used for 25 years with success. No method is 100 percent effective except perhaps abstinence. I have heard that withdrawal can be as effective as condoms. In my experience the woman has more objections to latex than I do. Condoms are effective until they are not.

Went to a local swingers club and had our first same room sex experience.

Our answer is a bit different. We were born in the early 50's, grew up through the 60's, and so on. Like so many in our generation, we sensed that we didn't resonate well with several prevailing social norms--the prohibition against casual nudity, the prohibition against even mild public displays of affection, many double standards around sexuality, etc. Unlike so many in our generation, we didn't just "go through a rebellious phase" and then align with prevailing norms. Rather, we thought carefully about our values. Our first step into alternative lifestyles was via social nudism. With each successive step, we asked ourselves, "how does this next step fit with our values?" This has proven a durable approach--we are now together for 44+ years.

From what I have been able to find c4p seems to be really happening for the midwest.

At the time I was single and unattached, it wasn't exactly a decision that I wanted to swing. In my early twenties, after I broke up with my fiance Red and moved out, I started dating another guy David (who is now my husband). After the second date I was incredibly horny, but he was too much of a gentleman to put any moves on me, so I went back and fucked Red. It was good, easy and so uncomplicated because we had been fucking for years before. The next date with David we ended up in bed and I stayed the night. After I left his place the next day, I got with Red again. I kept Red up-to-date with what was going on and he was ok with it because he still loved me and wanted to keep getting in my pussy:). David figured out what I was up to (turns out he reads me perfectly), and to my amazement he said he was fine with it. So I started it, but David made it possible. Fucking two guys who cared for me at the same time with both of them knowing made me self-confident and left me wanting as much sex as two guys put together. It led to me overcoming my jealousies and after two years letting the guys play with other women, me discoving my Lesbian side and playing with David's lovers, and having sex with three other different guys. Ten years later, Red, David, Lora, Clair and I are in a poly family.

Padoc, you have posted a couple of photos on the board of Mr. Doc and anyone who’s seen those images would totally agree with your assessment of her. She is indeed sexy and beautiful.

Yes, you did the right thing! It'd be different if you met while everyone was sober, agreed to have sex, then drank. However, on a legal and practical level, no realistic consent could be given/obtained when someone is completely inebriated.

While some may feel differently, I greatly appreciate this level of detail and explanation. Although when googling it, it does give examples with size charts. The more I immerse myself in the culture of swinging the more confident I feel about us meeting other couples and not being so self-conscious about the fact that neither one of us has a 6 pack. However, as I shared in another thread yesterday, my attraction and connection with another person has less to do with weight/looks and a hell of a lot more to do with whether or not we can have flowing and enjoyable dialogue and chemistry on that social level.

You many be right, but I doubt it. I'll suggest that perhaps since they know you are 'LifeStyle Virgins' the hosts simply want to ensure you'll be comfortable with the surroundings, that you'll be able to greet people one-on-one as they get there. If you came after most everyone was already there, you might get pounced on and it could be a bit of a shock.

H/W/P is somewhat subjective with couples we've met. For us it means that we have some kind of shape (male=shoulders wider than waist, waist more narrow than hips, Hips smaller than shoulder. It also means a belly that doesn't have to be lifted and moved from 1 side to the other to see his dick.) Woman= shoulders that the form can be seen, boobs that are not overshadowed by belly rolls, hips that aren't wider than shoulders and thighs that can open sufficiently to accommodate a H/W/P male). We are just not sexually attracted to obese people and stating that we are, by our admittedly subjective standard, a H/W/P couple and look for the same seems far more kind than posting that we're not sexually interested in BBWs or in men who haven't actually seen their penis since college. In response to Fullswap, we don't look at ourselves as "fit sexy and beautiful people" although truth be told, to my prejudiced eye, Mrs Doc IS very sexy and beautiful. We both work to stay reasonably fit and attractive by our personal definition and those are the kinds of couples we seek for playmates.

We went to Desire RM. We had a chocolate syrup episode with another couple. We blindfolded one naked wife and the other three licked chocolate syrup off her naked body. Then we blindfolded the other wife and did the same. We went through a lot of towels.

Aww thanks guys thanks for the feed back. Ok so just chill and have fun got it.