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We have that same rule but the penalty for anyone violating the rule is you get kicked to the curb. He violated the rule and regardless that you like this couple, they should be finding that they are suddenly in the gutter. Find another couple that knows and obeys your rules.

You seem to be saying 'sluts' like it is a bad thing... Back when terrorism was more of an every day occurrence I used to joke that instead of going to Muslim heaven and getting 98 virgins, I would much rather have 3 or 4 real slutty girls. That way no training was involved.

It's OK to be annoyed at this violation of the rules. This is a good time to restate the boundaries and move on. As for texts etc. from the other guy, he needs to understand that is out of bounds. Did he understand that? This is grounds either for a thank you, but no thank you, or one more chance. This sort of nose in the tent by a camel suggests he might not be a good fit.

Well, it seems you're in a pickle. Addressing your communication with your wife, I think the two of you need to sit down and figure out what's up. Be kind to her, you may be overreacting, but you two have to figure this out. About the other couple. He blatantly disregarded your wishes by texting your wife. I wouldn't play with them anymore.

We wouldn't fuck or do oral on a person who we wouldn't kiss.

I will be brief. It is difficult to find a four way match. A friend says the odds are 24-1 that both swap partners like each other. So no matter the age, height or weight, swapping is hard. The guy you meet on your away time would be a bridge too far for us. From my perspective, it seems that it would be easy for feelings to develop and it seems more like an affair than swinging, which to us is a together activity. But not judging, if it works for you, it’s ok with me. Best of luck. We look at swinging as a fun hobby and we try not to take the inevitable rejections and misfires too seriously. We know it’s not going work most of the time. We just try to be kind and hope for it in return.

This is one of those topics that gets under my skin, and I keep a pretty close eye on guys that play with my wife, knowing that once she gets warmed up she won't say no to anything. If I found out a guy tricked her into playing bareback, I'd be leaving the party in handcuffs.

I wouldn't mention it at all. She should handle it like any other guy she is not sexually attracted to. It doesn't sound like a matter of race with her, just a matter of preference. Like I mentioned in another post, we have friends that are a mixed couple and she prefers black men. I would love to have sex with her, but it just isn't going to happen because although they are some of our closest friends, she's just not sexually attracted to me because I'm not black. Am I insulted? No. Am I saddened? Very.