I will be brief. It is difficult to find a four way match. A friend says the odds are 24-1 that both swap partners like each other. So no matter the age, height or weight, swapping is hard.
The guy you meet on your away time would be a bridge too far for us. From my perspective, it seems that it would be easy for feelings to develop and it seems more like an affair than swinging, which to us is a together activity. But not judging, if it works for you, it’s ok with me.
Best of luck. We look at swinging as a fun hobby and we try not to take the inevitable rejections and misfires too seriously. We know it’s not going work most of the time. We just try to be kind and hope for it in return.