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People often forget that the lifestyle is, at its core, an arena for social interactions. Grace, manners, and style matter. (So do Oxford commas, but that's a topic for another site. ) There is never a second chance to make a first impression. Rejection is an art form. There are three general approaches. First, the neutral rejection: "We are not a match, best wishes for success in the journey." Second, the negative rejection: "My wife likes tall men with cocks at least 10" long and really thick." The third rejection, the one that leaves the other party feeling good about themselves, that is where skill and experience come in. One of the simpler ways to do this is to claim vulnerability to the others' strength, e.g. " You two seem like a great couple! Truthfully, we are older and have less energy than we used to--where we used to start a party at 10 pm, that's about the time we go to sleep these days. Thanks so much for reaching out, but you two seem like much more than we can handle these days." Now that's still a "no", but leaves the other party feeling good about themselves. You will find your own styles. What we have learned is that people remember all three types of rejections. Since the LS community is fairly close-knit, the probability that you will encounter the other couple again somewhere is fairly high. It's a near certainty that you will encounter another couple who knows that other couple. A reputation for being kind and sensitive to others' feelings amounts to goodwill in the LS (and, for that matter, in vanilla life). Given a choice, most people would rather get to know -- and perhaps play -- with others who are kind and sensitive versus brutish and self-centered.

I think “we are not a match” does the job. To point out that I am shorter than the woman and that I am not in good fit shape is hurtful. When I poked fun at the husband for being harsh, he didn’t get my sarcasm. Obviously, not the couple for us. I have given taller, fitter women some interesting experiences. I am sensitive. Onward and upward!

Perhaps they were just being honest. Maybe they are one of those couples who look in the mirror each day and say, "Wow!! We're so f*****g hot"!! If that's the case, in their view, you didn't meet their stated standards and they told you so, bluntly. We wouldn't give them or their response another thought. We've kissed more than a few frogs over the years and this couple probably qualifies.

The way I see it, their loss. I agree it was a little harsh. I am in pretty good shape, my wife has a few extra pounds. We don't care much about HWP, some people do, but if we see something she can't stand, or I can't we just say, "sorry, we don't think we are a match. Best of luck and take care". Unless it is a rule we can't follow like today, we had to, very unfortunately, turn away a couple because we aren't ok with separate rooms. They understood and wished us luck. I don't see a reason to be rude or overly assertive on something that can't be helped.

SLS is weird in that you are looking for a couple with only one thing in mind, SEX. For us we need to find someone that is attractive to us. Not everyone is an Adonis or a centerfold. We definitely aren’t a Hollywood couple. There needs to be something that attracts you to a listing. You must allow the other couple the chance to agree that you are someone they are attracted to. I remember when I was in HS and we all knew this one girl was “easy”. I just couldn’t do it. She turned me off. Friends joked about putting a bag on her head. Very little personality comes out in an online listing. You only get one first impression. We have been guilty of passing on couples based on pictures. We have also had private messages with couples who turned us off. It hard to tell someone you aren’t interested when they keep pursuing. To answer you, yes it was an insult. Think about it as a blessing, do you really want to swing with someone who has no care to how you feel? He most likely wouldn’t care how your wife felt during sex. We find that our very few meetings from SLS have been nice, not great.

Very true that the lifestyle is a small community. If we say no, we realize we may see these people at a small party. We ran into a couple that inartfully rejected us at a small hotel party. A little awkward, we said hello, were superficially friendly, socialized with others.

At least you didn’t have sex with them and then find out they lack tact.

I can't comment on their etiquette as it applies to the LS because we have no basis for comparison (are inexperienced). However, it seems like their comment hurt your feelings/pride a bit. I'm curious to see what others with experience think. Personally, I like the idea of just saying "no thanks" in as polite a way as possible. We don't need details/reasoning. In this case, I can't say I'd respond any different from you in regard to finding it rude. Just say "no thanks"...don't pick on our weight!

I think we'll buy a temp membership as soon as we can snap some g-rated pics. People keep IM'ing us and we can't respond. So far only clubs have PM'd us. No rush there. Thanks

I told her i couldnt wait to show em off as is, thanks for all the great encouragement, and yes the rest of her is as stunning as her tits, thise aren't even her best assets

...or cut the crap and start implementing honesty as an approach. Swinging doesn't seem to be any sort of contest where only a few get to play and the rest go home crying. So I don't understand how any level of dishonesty, as it pertains directly to the LS, is advantageous at all. I guess if you want to lie about being an astronaut or spy...have at it. But with height, weight, pics, sexual interests, boundaries/rules....why fudge anything??

One odd thing about this, is that no one has ever been the person that pipes up and says, yea, we put partial pix and a short bio with lies about our age and height so that we can......... In our experience, there are more false profiles than accurate. We consider a profile not updated in 5 years as not accurate. Is anyone here, dealing with the consequences of a false profile? My wife is the first to call out a person and that makes everyone at the table uncomfortable, cept her, with the smirk half smile, waiting for the answer. I bet those folks walk in to the next meeting a little more nervous. It may be rude, but so is wasting an entire evening for us.

A wife watching her husband having sex with another woman is more common than what many people thinks. My wife love it as much as I loved watching her with other men.

When you put it that way it was definitely a major success. Just more curious if other guys here can relate to the first time being an accidental quickie lol.

Thanks! We have both been thinking about it non-stop and can't wait to go back. Anybody else have the issue of the first time being too quick from all the new excitement of it? Or did I just fail miserably lol. Glad I at least stuck around for a round 2.

I'm a single Male, but ya, I like sucking cock. I really get into it, and love it there is a female watching. I've always wanted to share sucking a guys cock with his partner (female) and maybe swapping cum

Do most couples require a drink or two to loosen up enough to become flirty (or more), or are there other couples out there that do not drink but enjoy or swing totally sober? We do not have a problem with others drinking (as long as they don't get sloppy drunk, that's a turn-off), but for health reasons (her) and moral support (him), we don't drink. Just curious.

Dude, you're right there with the rest of us. According to Medical News Today, the average erect penis size is 5.1 inches. https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/271647.php Mine is 5.2 inches, fully stretched, and not once has a woman complained to me about it. And do you know how easy it is to photoshop a flashlight? If your wife hasn't already told you, it's not how much you have, it's how you use it. Don't fixate on your size, just try to pleasure the woman you're with, you'll be fine.