Leaderboard

We previously mentioned this club in our thread We accidentally fell into an orgy and we got a chance to go back. For those who didn't read our initial visit was on Wednesday's newbie night. Well we went back on a Friday. Very different vibe and we learned some lessons. First of all we went with friends we were introducing to the lifestyle (Separate story for another thread). I did mention to them the single men and the person giving the tour reinforced the aspect of respect and no means no. But there were so many and they were so creepy that it was killing our interest. Whenever something started happening in the library they would just swoop in and stare at them putting off the whole mood. It is definitely not an aspect I cared for and it certainly wasn't doing it for our friends either. So the first lesson we learned was that the single guy thing really makes us not want to play out in the public spaces. The second lesson we learned was don't show up late. Casually late is fine at a dance club but there were no rooms to be had when we arrived at 11:30pm. I'm also a little suspicious as to whether or not a hooker and his pimp set up in a room for the night to do some business. They never seemed to come out but people kept going in and leaving a little later. Couples and single men. We went back on Saturday which is couples only and things turned out much better. But you will have to find that thread somewhere else. Based on this we will only be going on Wednesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays from now on and showing up early but we would still visit this club.

Well we went against the advice of many and decided to come out to some friends we were traveling with. We told them we were going to a club and briefly what it was about and that we were in the lifestyle. We felt we knew them well enough to know what their reaction was going to be. We were wrong. We expected that they wouldn't be bothered by it. They typically are live and let live kind of people so we figured they would just be cool with it. Instead of just letting us do our thing though they started asking questions. "How does it work?" "Do you really have sex with other people?" "Are you really ok with seeing him/her with another woman/man?". Can you believe they even had the audacity to accept our invitation to join us at the club and check it out first hand? The gall of them. All kidding aside we took them to the club just to check it out. We had previously attended a club who employed only chronically underclothed women with them so we didn't think this would be a big leap. Unfortunately we showed up late on friday night and it was packed. The ratio of single males to couples was a bit off for us as well. We got to do a lot of watching and based on the noise coming from both sides of the house when we got back it seemed to do it for both couples. Saturday however was different. We got there about 30 minutes after they opened and took a walk through the play area with it completely empty. After a couple of drinks we ended up in a room together with the understanding that they were just interested in watching us at that point. We certainly were good with that. Next thing we know they are next to us on the bed and we are enjoying the sites and sounds as much as they were. It was certainly a success and frankly it rekindled our friendships a bit more as well. Our wives are certainly closer and are going clothes shopping next time we are in the same town. One of you guys has this line as their signature but it truly represented the night for us. If you don’t have to lie about sex, you don’t have to lie about anything. - John Williamson Even though it was simply a voyeuristic experience and not truly swapping it certainly allowed us to have more open and honest discussions. The wives have been chatting nonstop about the next time. Mr. Nomad

Well I dont know about all that. I certainly don't have any desire to ride off into the sunset with him. I already WENT through my 20s and I just dont have it in me to go through it again with anyone else. You've got to be kidding. Nope. Nnnnope. I'll stick with a bit of flirtation and daydreaming, tyvm.

Here is what I've found in the lifestyle first and foremost. When making a connection with a complete stranger in a club or house party you have to establish that spark. Often times people are turned on by the appearance of another person. Thats why I put on my nicest clothes, trim my beard, and even use some aftershave or cologne which I almost never do otherwise. You must give people a reason to approach you. You state that appearances are deceiving and I've heard that line several times. Do you know why some people think appearances are deceiving? Because they attribute the wrong characteristics to someone's physical appearance. If I see a blonde woman 5'9" 115lbs rocking a gorgeous miniskirt I don't assume she has a nice personality or is adventurous. I don't expect that she is highly intelligent or intellectually shallow. The most I would assume is that she takes care of her body and she is confident in her appearance and even then that is just a hypothesis until getting to know her further. So appearances aren't deceiving they are simply limited in the information that they are providing. That doesn't make them any less important in this hobby. For some of us myself included I am not HWP. I'm 6'6" and 360lbs. By all definitions I am overweight. However I'm also extremely outgoing and will soon make my way to the center of a group. I am knowledgeable in many diverse topics and enjoy a good joke. I like to dance and find a reason to compliment almost every person I meet. While aspects of the Lifestyle may eventually lead to the heart and soul of mates and even love (see polyamory), I think that for the vast majority of people in this lifestyle love is completely separate from playing. That's why most people refer to it as playing instead of making love. I make love to Mrs. Nomad. I do not make love to any of our playmates. We play. Its already been told to you but you seem to keep pursuing it but if you are looking for love and soulmates the LS is most likely not for you. In my short time in the lifestyle I've found people that are looking for a lot of very different things but love and soulmates are not usually it. I've outlined what I bring to the party now lets look at what you bring. You have provided repeatedly examples of your worst traits without providing any positive aspects of yourself. You have stated in the past that you have economic hardships of some sort (if I remember correctly). Clubs and online sites have membership fees. Nice clothes in my size cost quite a lot of money. This hobby like many others costs money. You ask questions and then debate the answers. You look at examples given of how a single male exists in the lifestyle and provide numerous reasons that how you are not up to that level. Frankly until you can identify what exactly you are looking for, address your self-confidence issues, and ensure that you are financially sound enough to participate in this hobby I don't think the lifestyle is for you. Now if your goal is to simply find people to have pity on you then by all means keep on posting. However you will find that the pity will come less and less as people grow more and more tired of a person who will not pull himself up by his own boot straps. Mr. Nomad

None taken, I coudn't agree more but that's a good thing!

While we NEVER recommend that you play with friends (or even acquaintances) we can forgive you this one time since you found your unicorn. This isn't about being honest, it's about trust. Do you trust her completely and, if not, why? Communication will increase the trust and almost always remove the jealousy. You yourself said it: there is no deadline. Opportunity will always be there. Keep talking until you feel comfortable, but until then put this on hold...and try to plan better in the future and BRING CONDOMS.

Sam and Tammi: And women are from Venus, not earth. Somehow, that's viewed as a positive. No offense meant. . .

Here's a blog post I wrote about the term 'cuckold'. It appears on the Noveltrove site. Hope this helps you. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Are you a cuckold? And do you care? In this world, cuckold is usually considered to be a derogatory term. Technically, any husband who's wife sleeps with other men is a cuckold, and society automatically condemns him. (Of course, any wife who sleeps with other men is a ‘slut’ and is condemned, but that’s another blog!) In actuality, there are three different connotations of the word ‘cuckold.’ If your wife is sleeping around, one of them fits you. The first usage is ‘standard’ and has a historical context behind it. The term was invented in the middle of the eleventh century and comes from ‘cuckoo’ - that bird has the habit of using other bird’s nest to lay their eggs. It usually meant a man who’s wife was having adulterous affairs with one or more other men. This was a big deal well into the nineteenth century, because a wife was a man’s property. There are plenty of court cases where men sued other men for improper usage of their goods. Of course if they brought the suit to court the husband usually got snickered at. This definition continues into modern time to describe a man who’s spouse is cheating on him without his knowledge or agreement. Now, of course, girls are much more equal than they used to be, and I suspect that many more married women are sharing themselves than used to be before the women’s liberation movement and the invention of effective birth control. (I, for one, applaud the revolution!) In the modern context, the term ‘cuckold’ has evolved. The second definition is used for some men who have the fetish of their wives having sex outside the marriage and humiliating them in the process. The affront can start with simple embarrassment of the man, (“I slept with Jake today, what are you going to do about it?") to the wife forcing him to watch as she screws someone. She might tell him about the large size of the man who’s screwing him, comparing it to his tiny penis. She might make him wear a cock cage so that he isn’t allowed to orgasm except when she’s willing. Often, he tends to think of himself as a sissy. While this isn’t my cup of tea, if it makes you happy, who am I to judge? Finally, there’s the ‘modern’ definition. Today there are many couples who engage in swinging and/or hotwifeing. With her husband’s permission and (sometimes) participation, a wife is promiscuous. In these situations, the man is technically a cuckold. But since he doesn’t view his wife as ‘property’, he isn’t upset or threatened by her infidelity. In fact he often encourages it to both their pleasure. Are you a cuckold? If so, which kind?