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Well we went against the advice of many and decided to come out to some friends we were traveling with. We told them we were going to a club and briefly what it was about and that we were in the lifestyle. We felt we knew them well enough to know what their reaction was going to be. We were wrong. We expected that they wouldn't be bothered by it. They typically are live and let live kind of people so we figured they would just be cool with it. Instead of just letting us do our thing though they started asking questions. "How does it work?" "Do you really have sex with other people?" "Are you really ok with seeing him/her with another woman/man?". Can you believe they even had the audacity to accept our invitation to join us at the club and check it out first hand? The gall of them. All kidding aside we took them to the club just to check it out. We had previously attended a club who employed only chronically underclothed women with them so we didn't think this would be a big leap. Unfortunately we showed up late on friday night and it was packed. The ratio of single males to couples was a bit off for us as well. We got to do a lot of watching and based on the noise coming from both sides of the house when we got back it seemed to do it for both couples. Saturday however was different. We got there about 30 minutes after they opened and took a walk through the play area with it completely empty. After a couple of drinks we ended up in a room together with the understanding that they were just interested in watching us at that point. We certainly were good with that. Next thing we know they are next to us on the bed and we are enjoying the sites and sounds as much as they were. It was certainly a success and frankly it rekindled our friendships a bit more as well. Our wives are certainly closer and are going clothes shopping next time we are in the same town. One of you guys has this line as their signature but it truly represented the night for us. If you don’t have to lie about sex, you don’t have to lie about anything. - John Williamson Even though it was simply a voyeuristic experience and not truly swapping it certainly allowed us to have more open and honest discussions. The wives have been chatting nonstop about the next time. Mr. Nomad

Wow, that’s a really negative statement. How can you come to that conclusion based on what’s written here. You font know us and especially her. Webe been together almost 30 years. Have been thru all the good and bad together. We go to sleep every night with my hand on her ass. Literally. We have the best life together I could ever imagine, we talked about this trip last night. She now says she has completely processed it and wants me to go and have a good time. She said she will be waiting fir me with open arms when I get home. Who knows, she may even do an overnight with one of her boy toys while I’m away. In fact when I brought up my trepidation about going again, she laughed and said stop being a pussy, just go and have fun. I asked for advice, not to be judged.

Now I think I get it... the problem isn't her being with another guy. The problem is her changing the plan at the last minute. If that's the case, I think that's what you need to address. Talk to her. Tell her that you don't like it when the plans change at the last minute, that you were looking forward to the event you had planned and you are disappointed. Don't try to compel, or guilt, her into doing something she isn't comfortable with. I would suggest instead suggesting that if she isn't comfortable with the MFM threesome concept, you just stop planning to do them. If she does want to try it, and backs out at the last minute again, cancel the whole thing... tell the guy that sometime came up and you can't meet, sorry for the last minute notice... then everyone's disappointed but I think that may help the conversation around how to really address this.

You don’t find them. They find you. It is necesssary to receive an invitation from a person who is already a member.

I remember reading about this a week or two ago and my takeaway was that it was probably due to the stress of space travel and not space itself that caused the problem.

It seems there's two schools of thought regarding profile photos. 1) Go completely 'G-rated' / 'Family Friendly' to simply show who you are as a couple, or 2) Do a mix of 'family-friendly' and 'adult' photos. We can do 'family friendly' no problem (well, cropping-out family and friends takes some photoshop skill, sometimes). It's taking the sexy adult photos that give us some grief. Rather than having professional 'boudoir' photos taken, what if we do them ourselves? This is the route we're trying to take. The problem is everything is turning-out poorly focused, badly framed, or just stupid-looking dick pics. Suggestions for taking nekkid pictures while keeping it classy?

Last night, my wife and I spoke at length about swinging. We both discussed our thoughts, desires, and rules/boundaries. To my surprise, we matched up perfectly and are on the exact same page! We agreed to take it slow and just feel things out initially but are both open to soft and full swaps only in same room with condoms for penetration being required. She also said she doesn't want other males cumming in her mouth and I explained she needed to be up front about that. We also watched an episode of the Playboy Swing reality show, together, which REALLY turned us on. We had some of the best sex we had in a while after watching that, talking about swinging, and imagining ourselves doing it. Who's to say what actually happens the first time I see my wife penetrated or the first time she watches me with another woman. But so far, so good. We'll also be constantly checking in and communicating before, during, and after we do anything. We both agreed we are going to drop a little weight before trying it. I'm 5'8" ~205 and she's 5'10" ~240. I'm going to keep learning here and trying to start dialogue with local clubs so we can familiarize ourselves.

This is ours…. We think a little tease attracts interest and besides, isn't the purpose of the sites to facilitate sex?

Hello all. I have a question. My wife and I have started swinging. We have had one couple, not so good. Wife's blood sugars dropped causing her to almost pass out. So we left and got her what she needed. We then had a MFM and that wasn't good. The guy could not get hard, which made the wife feel down on herself. We then had another MFM. This one was great, everything went well. Then with my work we don't have a lot of time to play. We both can play alone as long as we tell the other. Wife has played with 2 other guys. We got really busy in our lives and stopped. Well a year and a half went by and things are slowing down in life for us. Wife has this one guy just joking and teasing the wife about playing. I told her that sounds like fun. The guy even said about a 3 some. The wife comes back yesterday and tells me that she doesn't feel right about this. She then goes on to say that she is not comfortable with me in the room, she says it's not natural. She said she didn't know how to tell me after the first MFM or couple. I asked if she enjoys the one on one and she said yes, it more natural and comfortable. I was just wondering if anyone else has had this happen?

In my/our opinion a "G" rated profile pic is the way to go. The naked pics can come later in the getting to know you phase. A good digital camera helps. Lighting also. I know sexy happens in candlelight but the more light the better the picture. If you want to show off your dick do it in a picture as a couple. Solo dick pics have never been a deal maker for us. We are more interested in the person that is attached to the dick.

They are like that island in the first pirates of the Caribbean movie. They can't be found unless you already know where it is. You have to find someone already in the group and they have to invite you into it.

Your husband is a lucky man. If there were security cameras in the space they are likely not constantly monitored and would only be looked at after the fact and only if they had a reason. Its likely that there are dozens of cameras in the building but most likely focused in the lobby, concessions and box office area. Most security systems only store video for 30 days. I think you're reasonably safe. It would be nice however if you'd share that picture with us here.

Don't worry about it. If you had been seen, some pimply teen sporting a hardon would be there with a flashlight.

Here is what I've found in the lifestyle first and foremost. When making a connection with a complete stranger in a club or house party you have to establish that spark. Often times people are turned on by the appearance of another person. Thats why I put on my nicest clothes, trim my beard, and even use some aftershave or cologne which I almost never do otherwise. You must give people a reason to approach you. You state that appearances are deceiving and I've heard that line several times. Do you know why some people think appearances are deceiving? Because they attribute the wrong characteristics to someone's physical appearance. If I see a blonde woman 5'9" 115lbs rocking a gorgeous miniskirt I don't assume she has a nice personality or is adventurous. I don't expect that she is highly intelligent or intellectually shallow. The most I would assume is that she takes care of her body and she is confident in her appearance and even then that is just a hypothesis until getting to know her further. So appearances aren't deceiving they are simply limited in the information that they are providing. That doesn't make them any less important in this hobby. For some of us myself included I am not HWP. I'm 6'6" and 360lbs. By all definitions I am overweight. However I'm also extremely outgoing and will soon make my way to the center of a group. I am knowledgeable in many diverse topics and enjoy a good joke. I like to dance and find a reason to compliment almost every person I meet. While aspects of the Lifestyle may eventually lead to the heart and soul of mates and even love (see polyamory), I think that for the vast majority of people in this lifestyle love is completely separate from playing. That's why most people refer to it as playing instead of making love. I make love to Mrs. Nomad. I do not make love to any of our playmates. We play. Its already been told to you but you seem to keep pursuing it but if you are looking for love and soulmates the LS is most likely not for you. In my short time in the lifestyle I've found people that are looking for a lot of very different things but love and soulmates are not usually it. I've outlined what I bring to the party now lets look at what you bring. You have provided repeatedly examples of your worst traits without providing any positive aspects of yourself. You have stated in the past that you have economic hardships of some sort (if I remember correctly). Clubs and online sites have membership fees. Nice clothes in my size cost quite a lot of money. This hobby like many others costs money. You ask questions and then debate the answers. You look at examples given of how a single male exists in the lifestyle and provide numerous reasons that how you are not up to that level. Frankly until you can identify what exactly you are looking for, address your self-confidence issues, and ensure that you are financially sound enough to participate in this hobby I don't think the lifestyle is for you. Now if your goal is to simply find people to have pity on you then by all means keep on posting. However you will find that the pity will come less and less as people grow more and more tired of a person who will not pull himself up by his own boot straps. Mr. Nomad

One of our first experiences involved massage with a neighbor. He came over often, sometimes alone or with his girlfriend, and we were all very close friends. We enjoyed having drinks and soaking in the hot tub. Clothes would usually come off and it was no big deal. This time I asked if the boys would give me.a massage and of course they were all in. We put a towel on the bed and I laid on my back while they picked me down and ran their hands all over me. My husband was standing at my head and rubbing my tits. His hrdcock was by my mouth so I started sucking him off. My neighbor was rubbing my thighs so I raised my knees and opened my legs so he could see my pussy. He took my hint and started inserting fingers and rubbing my clit. He lowered his face and gave my some amazing oral. We gave him the "thumbs up" and I felt his big cock sliding inside me. He only lasted a few strokes before he put a nice load on me. He felt amazing so I guided his shaft back inside me so I could cum as well. Hope you have the same experience.