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I understand that the definition of swinging might be interpreted by most people as couples with other couples. Swapping mates. Is MMF swinging? FFM? It's a never ending topic here." end-quote My personal take is that, in order for it to be "swinging" at least one couple is required. Otherwise I would call it just good old fashioned hooking up. There are intracouple things at work in swinging that are just not available to singles.

Early in our thirty-year relationship my late wife and I decided on certain people we had permission to have sex with if the opportunity ever rose. I chose Brigitte Bardot and "Jill," my high school sweetheart. Laura chose Harry Belafonte and "Terry," the first guy who ever kissed her back in Junior High School. Well, we didn't have any luck with Brigitte and Harry, but Jill was at my high school reunion and said, "Hell, yes! I'd love to!" Jill and I spent an afternoon in a hotel room with a "Tryst Kit," which Laura had prepared. (Champagne with a corkscrew and two glasses.) We went to Laura's reunion fully intending to get her and Terry together. A spark of static-electricity jumped between their lips when he kissed her. She prolonged the kiss with a taste of her tongue, not at all like Junior High School, she told me. Unfortunately, that was all she got the whole weekend. Laura and I agreed later that he hadn't realized what was being offered. His lady was not all that friendly. If you're thinking Laura got screwed (or didn't) in this transaction, there was another time when she asked if she could add "Richard" to her "fuckable" list. We set it up for the next week when I was going to Dallas on business. She was successful that time. I'm just a hick Okie, and I don't claim to be an expert on how to succeed at swinging, but it seems to me that a couple can do almost anything without threatening their marriage. The key is to talk about it, both before and after.

Actually I'd get fired in a hot minute, and probably blacklisted from getting another job at the university. Although I'm not a prof, I do have access to student records. It's considered...unseemly...to fraternize over much with students.

Mrs. E did this a few years back when we went to a movie that literally nobody else was at. We had the entire theater alone. Turned out, it was empty because the movie sucked. The blowjob was awesome, though.

This sounds like a personal beef about your relationship. Not to say that everybody who is opposed to non-monogamous sex is insecure, but it feels like you really home in on feeling like the sex isn't as good and something is "ruined" for you realizing another man is having a better time with her than you are. I can respect ending a relationship because the sex has gotten stale and you've realized you need something else, but the relationship itself burning out has little to do with the distinction between "making love" and meaningless play. Sometimes Mrs. E and I have "lovey dovey sex", whatever that means. Just as often, we ride each other like rentals that we already know we're losing the security deposit on. After a decade and God knows how many gallons of cum, we still end up with sex-related bruises, sprains, and carpet burns. We laugh a lot. That we figured out we didn't get too hung up about cumming with others is a separate issue from losing our own connection.

Hello! After a while in the swinger world, my gf and I talked about doing it without any protection in order to be more adventurous. I don't know if I'm going to accept it or not... I'm so confused right now.

A few users on this site stated that single men bring nothing of equal value for a couple. Can the same be said that non-HWP wives bring nothing of equal value for physically fit attractive charming single men who can easily get young childless attractive HWP single women?

What about 3 singles in a MFM? Maybe I’m splitting hairs, but that’s my experience. I love it.

People who engage in mate-swapping can do threesomes. We just took turns. Singles are not necessary in the lifestyle. If a couple decides to accommodate you, be grateful. Don't fault them because they don't think you're as wonderful as you do.

That is sincerely appreciated! Honestly? I wouldn't feel uncomfortable with the idea of breaking the rules with him. He seems to have his shit together, and he's anything but vindictive or dramatic. I'm highly UNLIKELY to actually do anything there. Y'all will be the first to know, however. Yes, that's sort of the dynamic I would see happening. A young friend who could benefit from some sage life advice and a rowdy fucking. I would certainly be doing another woman a favour by offering him the opportunity to...refine his technique. However, Mr. intuition897 and I have never gone the hot wife route before. I don't think it's really Mr. intuition's thing. So if for no other reason than that, it's a no go.

whenever we go to movies we always sit in the back row. if it’s not crowded we always play. the last time we went I pulled hubby’s cock out and sucked him dry. no worries!

Would they be tested 30 minutes before meeting with your gf?....do you get it?....is your relationship with your gf serious? because honestly if one of my meaningful GFS had suggested that, I would not have considered her life partner or a woman to have kids with material. its a completely stupid and irresponsible suggestion.

This is something often said here that I believe is untrue. We started with my wife getting together with old lovers to see if she wanted to have sex with them again. We agreed that if one of us didn't like it we would just go back to monogamy, no recriminations either way. Instead of going back, we moved forward to me joining for MFMs, couples swaps, even alone play. My wife and I didn't have any rules to begin with, but if we did something one of us didn't like we talked about it and either modified what was being done or just didn't do that again. We've done things together that we've regretted (none of them swinging), so we don't do that thing again. But from the perspective of our relationship, we did "go back."

Adamgunn, thanks for the heads up. I have waded through enough bad books lately...ones that SHOULD HAVE BEEN good. Intuition, you know I have always admired your writing. I used to teach writing (I know, you'd never tell) and am convinced that bad writing is the result of muddled thinking. Your insights are sound. Alura, I'm with you, the future for Ben and Elaine was much like it was for the rest of us, a mystery to be unraveled by the two of us doing the best we could. Kudos to those of you who got through all those years without problems. Now, Intuition897, listen very carefully: the model here should not be Mrs. Robinson, nor the typical view of the pathetic cougar. I would have benefited so much from a "tutor" when I was 18-25 who could have taught me a few things about women and men. Instead, I blundered my way and frankly didn't wring as much fun and pleasure out of life as it probably had to offer. Don't jeopardize your paycheck, but an attractive, squared-away woman such as yourself could do wonderful things that would benefit a young man well into later life.

Looking at just some of the threads about single men and the LS, the happy successful men who blend vs what appear to be the angry involuntary male celibates looking for ‘easy’ sex seems clear.

Focus on your partner so that you shift your focus. If you start thinking about how you might change things up to do something interesting a little different, you'll be a little distracted from getting off and might come up with something novel. It beats doing math or other exercises intended to distract you.

Yes playing with friends is complicated! I would say let him go down on her and see how she feels about it. The Mrs and I have had great times with a very close friend of mine and it causes no problems at all!! I understand boundaries,but the next time your wife is sitting in front of him naked under a robe I would just let him go down on her or let him pull out his cock and leave it hang there and see what your wife does. When I shared the Mrs with my friend it was awkward at first we were sitting under a blanket on the couch She spread her legs reached over graves his hand and put it on her pussy and then pulled his chick out and started playing with it in front of me while he played with her. I found it very sexy! We have had no Problem with my friend he respects boundaries also though. Just a little insight.

I like the touchy-feely stuff, flirting, touching, sitting close, leaning into & on one another, kissing, etc. Before & after the sex. My hubby likes it too & we like to see each other engaging in these things with our swing partners. Hubby especially likes to see me kissing, flirting & touching another man (or woman). When I visit my male FWB alone we often talk more than we have sex. I'm not in love with him, but he is our friend, and we have laid in bed for hours naked, talking after sex. It just felt natural, after all he was just inside me, why rush to throw my clothes back on, that would make things awkward. Hubby loves for me to tell him all the details when i get home. Same when hubby & FWB are both playing with me, afterwards we all hang out & continue talking. I will touch them both, cuddle or lay against either or both of them. Sometimes that gets round 2, or 3, or 4 started up. Lol. If I didn't feel comfortable enough to intimately touch someone, hang out with them, or flirt then no way would I want to have sex with them. -She