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Patience. At 34 my wife was focused on being a mom. That was the correct focus for her at the time. 34 is in the past, and it is Katie bar the door now. BTW NEVER use this sentence again "I loved it when we swapped it was the great sexual experience of my life." That will not set the proper tone with your wife

I'd say it really rather depends on what you mean by "slut." I consider my wife to be my wife. She an intelligent, educated, strong, confident, sexually open, more-than-a-little-weird woman. I would also say she's a slut... in that she likes sex, enjoys sex with a wide variety of men, enjoys having sex with multiple men at the same time, is a bit kinky and is perfectly comfortable with all of that. However, I don't consider the word "slut" to be pejorative in this sense. I don't think any less of her because she enjoys these things. In most of the world, women who enjoy sex are demeaned and insulted, while men who do the same are lionized. I reject that out of hand.

Sex ruined the Whig Party.

We understand you weren’t invited to the parties for HWP only and are not attracted to 90% of the swinger women. As a single male you were ignored and no one showed any interest until you brought your own date. I don’t understand why you feel the need to keep repeating yourself. Your opinion is yours, as mine is mine. My only question is what kind of middle name goes with Napoleon?

Have you ever been somewhere that you couldn't turn your eyes away? Good things or bad. An accident. It is horrible but you just have to look. A beautiful sunset where you are waiting for the sun to disappear. A drunk walking down the street and you are waiting for him to fall. A misfit person, do you have pity? Do you look away from a homeless person? Do you stare an eclipse when you know that you are hurting your eyes? Do you enjoy sitting on the beach watching the waves? Would you stop and watch a burning building? The question is how did I feel watching my wife the first time. I didn't want to watch, but I had to watch. I most certainly wanted to watch her the first time we had a Unicorn join us. It was not threatening even though she was petrified. It was very exciting for me to watch and I never turned away. I did sense unease in my wife when it was my turn to be with our new friend. I was willing to stop but I was urged to continue. We did every a meaningful talk that night. I wanted to make sure I didn't hurt any feelings. It did lead to us discussing a full swap with a couple. That led us to our unicorn inviting us to join her and someone we had met in a social setting and another couple she had played with before. What we though was going to be our first time was canceled. Disappointment or relief? Our first did happen. We the newbies, them, the people who have gone to resorts together. Us nervous, them excited to be our first. Them very respectful of our nerves. I am sure there had been parties in this house before. My wife and I didn't know how and what to expect other than we would be having sex with new friends which were strangers to us. We were asked if we wanted to split up into different rooms and not watch. We decided to stay in one room all together. Nervous? You betcha. Our unicorn suggested for all to undress to ease everyone, meaning us, to not be shy. Our unicorn started by going to my wife and the other woman came to me. The two other men were just watching, My wife eased up as she was now spread open for a mouth between her legs. I was watching that while being as hard as a can remember and a tongue making me harder. Then one of those moments when I saw the husband of the woman with me take my wife's hand and guided it to his hard on. Couldn't look away. Then he put it by her face. I wanted to look away. I couldn't look away. I almost forgot that I was with a woman myself. I was watching my wife suck a cock. I could not look away. I believe I was in a zone. Maybe the Twilight Zone. The Unicorn came over to me and attempted to sit on my face and I could only remember pushing her away so I could watch my wife. It was very hard for me to watch but I had to watch. For sure I thought she was going to have him cumming in her mouth and he stopped, put on protection and entered her. I noticed we all stopped to watch. They went at it for about ten minutes and I couldn't look away. When they stopped I could swear there was applauds. I was in an out of body state. I wanted to make sure we was okay. She was. The night got easier for me. I was no longer terrified even though I still had the need to watch her. This may sound weird, watching her with one in her mouth was harder for me than when she was fucking. Is it more intimate to use your mouth or is that just me? That first man in her mouth I want to say was terrifying and I was relieved when they were having sex. Was that normal for a first time?

Purposefully working to NOT be a self absorbed, arrogant narcissist is actually what makes us human. Otherwise, you're no better than a peacock. In fact, I think Peacock would be a fine middle name for you. Napoleon Peacock aka Nappy-P. Has a nice ring to it, doesn't it??

My wife was, first and foremost, a wife and mother. At PTSA meetings, she played the role well and naturally. Laura could be a randy slut. She was creative. She said the most outrageous remarks when she was on the verge of orgasm, particularly with Mr. Playmate. She once decided to try out a long-time fantasy, being a whore. Thinking prostitution was legal in Las Vegas, she chatted up a gentleman in the bar and had gotten a generous proposition. She chose to discard the idea, partly because he told her in conversation that prostitution was NOT legal in Vegas and he looked far too much like a cop. She turned down the offer and came to our room. In my arms, she sometimes started out being a slut. It always ended the same way, lovingly. Laura would have agreed with Adam Gunn. I would never have called her either name. She refused to shop at a convenience store named, "Kum and Go."

Most likely both, if I am being truthful. The repeated remarks stood out and it bothered me to hear it over and over again. Most likely if his remarks didn’t bother me I wouldn’t have even noticed them. He was also combative, loud and obnoxious, all things that are not conducive to having fun and having sex.

Out of curiosity was it his attitude or his politics that turned you off?

I still miss the Whigs... {sign}

For the single men who like to get belligerent and whine - Zzzzzzzzzzz

@Jane1902 Actually, I never signed up for HWP-parties. Before entering the swinger world I assumed all swinger clubs had a high percentage of HWP-women, I was proven wrong. And my first time at a swinger club I had single and married woman who wanted to have sex with me but I rejected them because I found them physically unattractive. The second time I went to a swinger club my girlfriend insisted on going with me. The couples who were rude to me the first time I came they approached me and my girlfriend, I told them straight up we're NOT INTERESTED. We were approached also by other couples but my girlfriend is a heterosexual woman, she's has absolutely no desire to be touched by a woman in a sexual manner, and when she made this clear to the bisexual single women and bisexual wives at the club they move on but gave her rude looks for the rest of the night. We wasn't even attracted to these couples to begin with. And the little weak husbands of these wives didn't even have the balls to correct their cunt-acting of a wife rude glances towards my girlfriend and I. My girlfriend told me to let it go and not approach their weak husband regarding their wife rude behavior. I notice also that most swinger husbands are the weak passive one in their marriage and the wife is the dominant one of the two. I can deal with rudeness because I can dish it back just as worst but I won't tolerate anyone being rude to my girlfriend for no reason. It was a bad experience for my girlfriend but we did meet just one heterosexual married couple who was very nice and pleasant to be around. We spent the last few hours of our time with them chatting, nothing sexual, physically they wasn't our type. I keep having to "repeat myself" because I keep getting told I was rejected when that wasn't the case 99% of the time I was at swinger clubs.

I refuse to use the 'slut' word towards my wife, or any other woman I'd care to be with. And yes, my wife has participated in gang-bangs. Slut is a negative word to me, there's nothing negative about my wife even if she does like sex with multiple men. For the same reason I reject the word 'cunt.'

I'm pretty sure experimenting with vanilla people for your first non-vanilla experience is going to be high-risk/low-reward. I understand the appeal, but it's probably going to end in one explosion or another. There's a girlfriend who is an unknown quantity involved, too. If it was just a less complicated threesome and the interest from the third party was clearer, it might be different.

Here are some we listen to, that aren't listed above: Swinger Diaries: https://www.stitcher.com/podcast/live-desire/swinger-diaries The Black N Kinky Lifestyle: The Priory Society:

We only have condomless sex with our very closest friends, these are 2 regular couples, people that we trust for years. On one occasion I had condomless sex with a coworker which I worked for about 3 years he is a man with family and very serious and responsible,I discussed it with my husband and we felt no need for condoms with him. Almost 10 years since we started swinging and I have only had 4 men penetrated me without a condom that is including my husband. We feel pretty safe compared to many single people living "regular sexual lives"

It would be a bad idea if she can get pregnant. My wife prefers bareback. Skin on skin. We understand the risks of STD's. I let her make that call. We usually play with people we have met or have been recommended by her girlfriends.

That's precisely why we don't use condoms. Both the men and women like to feel the flow of an ejaculation inside her, whichever opening that may be. We also jointly have no rules against kissing, anal, alone play. We see the emotional connections as a plus. We are all comfortable with this because we only play with a closed group of other couples. Could someone cheat? Perhaps, but we have a lot of trust among us and agree that anyone can back off anytime, no questions even by a spouse. Plus it's less likely anyone would cheat simply because there is so much opportunity for fun within our group. For instance, one pair of non-spouses occasionally gets together alone for their mutual interest in BDSM, which no one else is into.

Always preferred Betty to Veronica...

In the end the lifestyle is what you make of it. How you....and your partner decide to define who and to what level you will be involved. Communication....trust....will define your mutual interests and your participation. What you choose should be for you. What others may choose are for them. You do not have to meet their choices and they do not have to meet yours. As a matter of choice, you choose to play with someone, couple or group you do so by talking and agreeing with boundaries. Or you choose not to and not join with them. Choice. All based on communication. Smaller closed groups or regular parties/gatherings with a higher repeat of regulars are much different then the large parties or public clubs/events. In the final analysis you are not required to do or participate in anything. As others are not. Choice, communication.....trust.

Even if we KNEW that there was NO CHANCE of catching anything (while we're too old for this but it includes 'catching' a baby) we wouldn't go without a condom. We look condoms as a physical barrier but also an emotional barrier. It keeps what we do as 'more special' with each other and keeps other partners a bit more 'removed'.

Gaga, it's your life . . . literally. Do as you wish, accept the risks. If things turn out badly, remember you asked for it.

We like our play friends, we trust our play friends. They (different couples) have reported to us contracting HPV, HSV, chlamydia and gonnorhea while swinging. We will continue to play with condoms with the realization that they are not perfect. Even if someone has STD test results, they are moot the day after they play with someone else. Caveat emptor.

No. She'd never do it even if I wanted her to, and I don't. Even our regular play partners, we trust them but know they do their own thing and that accidents happen. No need for that.