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For the past eighteen years, Friends, I've watched this board go from belligerent and offensive to one of the most courteous sites on the net. I hate to see us go backward. Perhaps it's time to ignore this thread and allow it to be buried.

We are super excited and a little nervous (seems like everyone has the first-time jitters). We are heading to a club that's about 2 hours away. But I can probably make it in 1.5hrs in my Stang using Waze. Anyway, we have a bag packed with toiletries, sexual preps, etc. We're going to take a tour and then meet up with the owners and a couple we met through their youtube channel. I'm planning on wearing an oxford blue dress shirt, black dress pants/belt/wing-tips and black form-fitting boxers. She's not sure but possibly a tight dress, something that can show off her cleavage, g-string or commando. I said it'd be fine to go commando because flashing the vag at this club might be a good thing. She's going to pick something out Friday. I reinforced the importance of her looking sexy but above all confident. We'll see what happens!!

Have you ever been somewhere that you couldn't turn your eyes away? Good things or bad. An accident. It is horrible but you just have to look. A beautiful sunset where you are waiting for the sun to disappear. A drunk walking down the street and you are waiting for him to fall. A misfit person, do you have pity? Do you look away from a homeless person? Do you stare an eclipse when you know that you are hurting your eyes? Do you enjoy sitting on the beach watching the waves? Would you stop and watch a burning building? The question is how did I feel watching my wife the first time. I didn't want to watch, but I had to watch. I most certainly wanted to watch her the first time we had a Unicorn join us. It was not threatening even though she was petrified. It was very exciting for me to watch and I never turned away. I did sense unease in my wife when it was my turn to be with our new friend. I was willing to stop but I was urged to continue. We did every a meaningful talk that night. I wanted to make sure I didn't hurt any feelings. It did lead to us discussing a full swap with a couple. That led us to our unicorn inviting us to join her and someone we had met in a social setting and another couple she had played with before. What we though was going to be our first time was canceled. Disappointment or relief? Our first did happen. We the newbies, them, the people who have gone to resorts together. Us nervous, them excited to be our first. Them very respectful of our nerves. I am sure there had been parties in this house before. My wife and I didn't know how and what to expect other than we would be having sex with new friends which were strangers to us. We were asked if we wanted to split up into different rooms and not watch. We decided to stay in one room all together. Nervous? You betcha. Our unicorn suggested for all to undress to ease everyone, meaning us, to not be shy. Our unicorn started by going to my wife and the other woman came to me. The two other men were just watching, My wife eased up as she was now spread open for a mouth between her legs. I was watching that while being as hard as a can remember and a tongue making me harder. Then one of those moments when I saw the husband of the woman with me take my wife's hand and guided it to his hard on. Couldn't look away. Then he put it by her face. I wanted to look away. I couldn't look away. I almost forgot that I was with a woman myself. I was watching my wife suck a cock. I could not look away. I believe I was in a zone. Maybe the Twilight Zone. The Unicorn came over to me and attempted to sit on my face and I could only remember pushing her away so I could watch my wife. It was very hard for me to watch but I had to watch. For sure I thought she was going to have him cumming in her mouth and he stopped, put on protection and entered her. I noticed we all stopped to watch. They went at it for about ten minutes and I couldn't look away. When they stopped I could swear there was applauds. I was in an out of body state. I wanted to make sure we was okay. She was. The night got easier for me. I was no longer terrified even though I still had the need to watch her. This may sound weird, watching her with one in her mouth was harder for me than when she was fucking. Is it more intimate to use your mouth or is that just me? That first man in her mouth I want to say was terrifying and I was relieved when they were having sex. Was that normal for a first time?

Just an aside - an accidental pregnancy is what solidified our poly family. Our live-in girlfriend Clair got pregnant by hubby despite being on birth control. She was upset and offered to have an abortion to keep us "as is" in our relationship. It took me about two minutes of thinking about it to decide that there was no reason not to start having children. We took the rest of the day off from work, she took three or four pregnancy tests, we cried together and decided that I would try to get pregnant as soon as possible so we could have our children as close as possible. I stopped taking my pills that day. We told hubby and my boyfriend Red and both were overjoyed. I had sex with both hubby and my Red and got pregnant within a couple of months. We are all extremely pro-choice, and this was our choice, the right decision.

For being a little over 30, I too have had few (male) sex partners, five, although I am currently fucking three of them regularly and often. So what makes a woman a slut? Is it the number of different partners? How often she has sex, even with one guy? The kinky things she does? To me it all depends on the tone and the circumstances. Call me a dumb slut and I'm insulted; call me a smart, tough cunt (as I was told someone said about me once at work) and I am flattered.

You're one strange bird, in my opinion, Napoleon. Have a nice life. Alura

We took a similar route. I just put an unilateral,unqualified Green Light on her table and let it sit there for a bit. After a time she realized that I was serious. Oddly enough the only way she felt comfortable was to have me along for the journey. I remind her periodically that the Green Light carried no conditions or expiration date. She has yet to use it. Although our shared experiences keep getting more expansive.

People are surprised when they meet me that I have a naturally blurry face and look just like the picture.

Forget about yourself and make it about her. At first you need to be willing to accept half of what you want. First, make sure that your wife feels totally loved and secure in her life in every way. Then tell her sincerely that you want her to know that she can have another sex partner or boyfriend (different women view it differently) with absolutely no reciprocation for you. Let her know that you don't need to even participate or watch, but it would make you happy for her to have this. That's how we started. Women want to fuck around as much as men, but most need to feel secure about it. It may take a while, years maybe, but eventually she will want you involved as well.

Alura, I agree. Im done with Nappy P and his fowl personality.

Agreed 100%. True for my wife and even for me as a guy, I don't want to just fuck random women. I want to know her and like her, and that leads to feelings. As I've mentioned before, the wife of one couple and I go to cultural events that my wife and her husband have no interest in, while they screw. The other wife and I will only have quick sex or none at all. Same with us. We have no rules so there's no reason to lie. And we know how much we love one another because we know exactly where we stand. She gives me most of her time, energy and affection freely, not out of pretense or obligation.

If you think a husband is spineless because he is in an EQUAL relationship, then you're a dumbass. Women aren't to be controlled or ruled. Those of us who swing don't feel the need to "control" our women, as you keep saying. I highly doubt the level of rudeness you describe, and that's coming from a bi male swinger. You exude an aura that women need to be controlled. I, and many other "spineless" swinger husbands reject the notion that our women need to be told how to behave, or need to be controlled. You don't seem to get that. Furthermore, with your attitude towards women, I am certain you don't have a single girlfriend, let alone 3.

So to recap Nappy went to a swingers club and assumed he would be more attracted to the women than he was and rejected women that showed any interest in him. There is a saying about making an ass of oneself when assuming things. Had he done a little research he might have found out about parties that require an application to attend, he would also risk rejection too. So he has ranted, stated his limited experience over and over again. Peacock poop is very nasty stuff.

Patience. At 34 my wife was focused on being a mom. That was the correct focus for her at the time. 34 is in the past, and it is Katie bar the door now. BTW NEVER use this sentence again "I loved it when we swapped it was the great sexual experience of my life." That will not set the proper tone with your wife

Actually I'd get fired in a hot minute, and probably blacklisted from getting another job at the university. Although I'm not a prof, I do have access to student records. It's considered...unseemly...to fraternize over much with students.

That is sincerely appreciated! Honestly? I wouldn't feel uncomfortable with the idea of breaking the rules with him. He seems to have his shit together, and he's anything but vindictive or dramatic. I'm highly UNLIKELY to actually do anything there. Y'all will be the first to know, however. Yes, that's sort of the dynamic I would see happening. A young friend who could benefit from some sage life advice and a rowdy fucking. I would certainly be doing another woman a favour by offering him the opportunity to...refine his technique. However, Mr. intuition897 and I have never gone the hot wife route before. I don't think it's really Mr. intuition's thing. So if for no other reason than that, it's a no go.

Discussions here, Eric2019, typically do not go into out-of-control resonance like this one did. I sincerely hope that this has not sent you away.