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Hey, it just happened. There was probably some guy that 'experienced' her pussy before you, this is something similar. It's not like she asked the guy to do it, it 'just happened'. YOU need to let her know that she didn't do anything wrong, especially since she didn't. You also shouldn't be jealous or disappointed and she should know that as well. Get over it! If you aren't more understanding than this, then maybe you aren't ready to be swinging...

We are both sluts, but in a nice and happy way.

I had four men along with my husband cum inside or on me last night. Make no mistake - I am a slut!

One of our favorite bumper stickers reads….They NEVER sacrificed the sluts! I think that over the decade and a half that we've been swinging the term slut has lost a lot of its pejorative impact for us. While I would object to a guy saying to my wife, "take your skirt off slut", I have said occasionally after a party, "OMG baby, you were quite the little slut tonight". It got me a blush and a sexy little smile.

We tried something new last night and were wondering if others have tried this. A couple that we have known for a while came over and we decided to have a “spa” night. We took a nice nude soak in the hot tub and then gave an erotic massage to each other’s spouse. We took care of them first and then we switched. Although we did bring each other close to orgasms our deal was not to cum. Afterwards, we relaxed in the tub again and then enjoyed some of the best sex we have had. I think the edging was the key along with allowing ourselves to bring it down a bit in the tub before bringing each other to climax. Anyone tried this?

Interesting question, Intuition. At one point in my life, for about 10 years, I was well-known in a "public" manner in a very small community. Regardless, it was unpleasant in so many ways. Now, for many decades, I have been a complete nobody, and I like it. On the other thread, you may have lost the poetry, but you replaced it with equally as good stuff. So enjoy your writing. Your insight and description of the connection you have with one of your playmates is superb. My wife and I have had that chemistry from the beginning, but over the years the polish has been diminished by things like hardships, hemorrhoids, and hair loss...to name a few. Still great, just not the same.

I’m a legend in my own lunchtime ?

I was going to say - before my post disappeared - that one of the great things about swinging is that we don't have to have the pressure any more of being up on one another's pedestal. I don't have to be his everything. I don't HAVE to be interested in all the same things as he is. I don't HAVE to be THE most perfect, most attractive, most energetic, most amazing at every single sex act. Other women are just as amazing as I am, and I love that I'm secure enough in myself, my worth, and what I have to offer him that I can happily - even enthusiastically - give him the freedom to interact with these other beautiful women. Everyone wonders, well, what's left? Indeed, good question. I can't put words to it, but it's...our history I guess. Other women might be more beautiful than I am, more intelligent, and yeah, maybe even have a better sexual connection with Mr. intuition than I have. But none of them are me. We've chosen one another as traveling companions on this road trip through life. We meet a lot of interesting people, and the roadside attractions that draw each of us aren't necessarily the same, but that's okay. What interests me most is his experience. That he's excited to tell me all about it. That I get to see his face lit up, and that he is really enjoying the trip. THAT's the connection.

So many answers and questions are geared to the man. The original poster is disappointed that he wasn’t the first. Some other man did something with his wife that he didn’t want her to do. He lost his chance of being a first, taking a prize. I wonder how she felt about the situation. I am not going to say that I have never had anal sex. Do I enjoy it or do I enjoy the fact that I am pleasing the person I’m with. I don’t if it is possible to have an orgasm with anal sex. I’ve never had one. Anatomy says a woman can’t yet orgasms can be mental as well as physical. I certainly can have a physical orgasm giving oral yet I truly enjoy the act. I am reading that someone said the most painful part is the insertion of the penis and that once in the pain or hard part of anal is done. That is a true male answer. How many of the men want to be penetrated ad would they still say that the initial penetration is the hardest part. I am guessing that there are men on here that do enjoy having their own asses penetrated. From my experiences I would say they are in the minority. Some like a finger not much more. I wish the poster would tell us his wife’s feelings. What she thought of the experience. Did she enjoy or just go along. Does she have guilt of not sharing the experience with her husband. If the only problem is disappointment of not being the first you will need to get passed that feeling. Jealousy may be a fun part of swinging, exploring new feelings and excitements is even more fun. I think I’m younger than most posters on here and I will loathe the day when new experiences are no longer fun.

We met a famous person, would not out him.

Yes - we have had a couple of places get busted locally for pushing the limits. We get a couples massage about once a month from the same two therapists. The woman that works on me always pushes it a bit. She definitely teases when she is working my upper thigh and hamstrings. It would definitely be amazing if she would finally just lube up my cock and finish me off.

You guys all like each other. They seem to appreciate and understand your first three rules. Congratulations. The other rules you mention have merit. About other people being invited, it's your home, therefore it's your invitation. Just have an understanding that if a couple wants to bring another couple, they should run it by you. And certainly no one should drop by uninvited. You two should be the ones to control the operation of these 'rules,' not anyone else. To cede control is to lose it. The other thing I'd be thinking about is 'theme nights.' Most 'groups' like these, or a party theme. They're a lot of work. Enlist other couples to be 'hosts for the night' - it will be their responsibly to put it together and such, all you two should do is relax. Finally, who's going to do all the laundry?

We knew that. We aren't those kind of people . . .

There s a huge difference between hasn't done and refuses to do. If my wife stumbled into something that we hadn't yet tried, then good for her, and probably me in the near future. If it was something that she denies me, I probably would be bothered a lot. There would be a LONG conversation about that.

Why should you be angry or jealous or disappointed? That's why we're in this activity of having sex with other people. My wife (and I) do things with play partners that we don't or seldom do with one another. It's an achievement in swinging to click with someone and reach a level of pleasure not reached before. Take some joy and satisfaction from your wife's pleasure. And seek your own. Maybe with someone else or maybe your wife and you can investigate and unlock what she's discovered. In any case, don't ruin the experiences for you and her.

Tonight I had a pretty important realization that I might need some help/advice when it comes to touching and initiation of getting physical. For those that didn't see the other thread about our first club/ls event this past weekend, it did not go well. While I didn't go into detail about it on my end, I didn't get much female attention. But what little attention I did get ended pretty quickly and I think it might have had something to do with my approach to initiation. Let me explain. My wife was hitting it off with the male half of the other couple but I was not getting any real vibes of desire from the female half. My wife told me to go make some moves. Soon after, the male half told me the same and pointed at her ass as she was bent over and he grabbed her ass and caressed her pussy under her dress. But in my mind, because she didn't express any interest and the years of experience I have teaching college kids about consent when it comes to sex, this was a massive no-no in my book so I balked at the situation and continued to get no attention. Then toward the end of the night, my wife and the guy (who had both been playing with each other throughout the night through/under clothes) told me to go give it another try. So I did. Started just by lightly brushing her arms, asked her if she was okay with it to which she replied "I wouldn't still be standing here otherwise", so I put my hands on her hips from behind and we started to grind ass to crotch. A few seconds later she walked back over to him and continued dancing. Game over. I would really appreciate some thoughts and advice on being a little smoother at 1) Expressing interest and 2) gaining consent to start touching if we're on the dance floor or some other place where some good dialogue isn't possible that would lead to a more natural progression that included expression of mutual interest, consent, etc... Thanks!

There is a book entitled The Ethical Slut. The premise is that sex is positive and it should be enjoyed. Nothing new for those of us with this hobby.

The notion of "slut" being a good thing, is nice, but I think that it still has a negative connotation. I wouldn't call Harriet a slut nor would I tolerate someone else doing so because despite protestation to the contrary, women may, in the backs of their minds, feel put down by it and some guys will be using it as a put down, maybe even unconsciously. I think the word conveys more than just having been around the block a few times, liked it and anxious to make another lap. It sort of conveys the idea of not being very discriminating. The fact that this question was asked at all means that it the word "slut" is not in the same category as "brunette" or "tall," for example. How about "erotically erudite?"

We recently met a couple who met while the woman was servicing three men at an event. That’s a party girl! She was spunky and likeable.

Sorry you had a less than peak experience. We just returned from a Bliss cruise that was a series of misfires, disses and missed communications. Except for one stellar connection that made up for all the bad experiences. Get back on the horse, learn from your mistakes and hope you meet less nutty and more age appropriate partners. Keep in mind that most people in the hobby are unconventional at best and coo coo for coco puffs in many cases.

I LOVE sluts! To me slut is a compliment. I want a woman that considers herself a slut. A woman with that attitude have been my best experiences. I respect sluts.

While I've never tried this with another couple, I love to edge my wife. Being a person who loves foreplay, I like to spend 45 minutes to an hour just teasing the crap out of her. Erotic massage is definitely my preferred choice. I like to bring her to the edge at least five times. Seven is about her limit before she gets to frustrated. I alternate between a slow, sensual massage and lightly trailing fingertips across her body...getting as close to her sensitive areas (nipples, clit, opening) as possible without actually touching them. That drives her crazy. After 25 minutes or so of that, I'll progress to full contact with those areas.. caressing, stroking, tugging... then slowly insert a finger halfway...curling my finger upwards, applying pressure to her g-spot and just holding it there, while continuing to caress, massage, kiss her breasts. You really have to know your partner and be able to read their body. I have occasionally pushed her over the edge before I was ready. Oops...oh well...guess we have to start over...lol

I love love love hot tub sex. I've done this with a couple in a swingers club: Its nice when you're with a new couple, him leaning/sitting down with her sitting-straddling on his lap, water all around, both naked. Edging each others bodies, her vagina lips slowly firmly rubbing up and down the length of the underside of his dick. Soon after, rubbing harder and harder against each other, she seductively teasingly going a little higher, and higher, until her vagina entry reaches the top of his glans, she hangs there for a second looking into each others eyes...... she then slides down on him... of the outer/underside of his dick before giving him a lovely locked-lips passionate kiss. She then says "shall we go get a condom?"

Edging is a popular new thing, and creates stronger orgasms when they are eventually allowed to happen, since there is a build up of ejaculate which creates pressure (sometimes described as "despirate pleasure"). Be careful if you have heart or blood pressure issues, especially when combining with heat from a hot tub. But overall, it's a surprisingly strong orgasm. Assuming one can stop in time... or even want to stop. lol On the other spectrum, for a woman to play with a man and not allow them to cum is called 'Tease and Denial' and is used much in the kink community as a control technique. A man who is horny is willing and excited to play. Once a man cums, they are often finished, at least for awhile. Enjoy!

Yes, it's great! Hot tubs are almost required to be swingers.

I'd say it really rather depends on what you mean by "slut." I consider my wife to be my wife. She an intelligent, educated, strong, confident, sexually open, more-than-a-little-weird woman. I would also say she's a slut... in that she likes sex, enjoys sex with a wide variety of men, enjoys having sex with multiple men at the same time, is a bit kinky and is perfectly comfortable with all of that. However, I don't consider the word "slut" to be pejorative in this sense. I don't think any less of her because she enjoys these things. In most of the world, women who enjoy sex are demeaned and insulted, while men who do the same are lionized. I reject that out of hand.