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First a little about us. The wife and I consider ourselves voyeurs with little soft swap and same room sex. Something that has recently come about. Since I work strictly long midnights shifts I have time to text the wife often. We both thought it would be fun and exciting to share pictures and videos of what we think is sexy, fun and exciting. This definitely helps the night shift go by and rush home to her Lately she has been sending videos/pictures of glory hole’s. Funny side story....she never knew what that was till I had her listen to Steel Panther “Glory Hole” song (Yes this a shout-out to Steel Panther \m/). Anyways please don't turn this into a debate about her knowing or not knowing what a glory hole is. My point being is she has asked if this is something that actually exist and if I ever been to one. Sort of caught off me guard since I’ve never been to one or even know where one is. Now the thought of going to something like that with her is a huge turn on and made me question some of her other pictures and videos she has sent. Of course this is all in fun. But can’t help my mind from wondering and analyzing others that she sent, or if she analyses mine. Now I can just ask her if there’s any deeper meaning to the videos or pictures she sends but I don’t want history to repeat itself and take the wrong turn or end. Thoughts, comments on how I should handle this or just let this play itself out?

Your misgivings are quite common with new swinging couples. The guy is often times like a kid turned loose in a candy store, all those boobs and pussies are like a sugar high for a 6 year old. You DO have a say in this, however. You're part of the couple and the fact is, he'll get a lot less sex if you're not 100% into the evening or the meeting. Mrs Doc felt much the same way when we were about a year into this hobby. She was not happy about some of the choices I made off the web sites and was not happy about the frequency of our "dates" especially since she did not want to meet couples during the week. After a lot of trial and error, and her specific objections, my selection process got much better and after much conversation, we started to limit our swinging activities to once or twice a month. What I discovered was that, as time passed, she was much more into our limited activities and actually looked forward to a club night or house party and I started to see much less of "the face" when I mentioned potential plans for the weekend. We're happily still in this hobby 15 years later and my wife is truly "all in" now. You have to talk a lot, and, you have to insist that he take your needs and desires into consideration and you have to remind him that the primary relationship is the one he has with you, not the fleeting moments with a strange woman. You might want to point out too that if you get overwhelmed by the budding resentment this is generating, you can always just say "NO". That leaves him with nothing to swap and he becomes just another guy trying to get laid outside his marriage. That's not a good place to be for a swinger.

Stepping outside of the cage of society’s monogamy beliefs and experiencing a open sexuality as an adult consensual playful activity has its roots dating back to the beginning of known human social living. Back in history when humans lived as tribes and clans, small bands and groups, yet to be organized into kingdoms and nations. As varied as each area of human existence. Over the generations and centuries sexuality, sexual practices and acceptable activities expanded and broadened. Humans are adventurous, curious, imaginative and have the ability to seek and enjoy many pleasures....sex and sex play is just a small part. As a single uncommitted individual you answer to your self first, then to others in your life. Your responsibilities. When in a committed relationship situations, activities, dreams, goals desires....life together....becomes a shared experience....discussed, decided, worked to achieve and experience together. Trust and commitment. Each adult has their own choices to make. To share and discuss openly, to decide together. Desires, goals, willingness....change as time goes on but stays grounded within the committed couple. So in the end the two of you decide. Regardless if it is situational, planned or as a lifestyle for you both. The freedom is making it your shared experience.....not designed around others influences. And yes.....many have some level of this type of experience.

We'll watch the fiber.

People say No? Are you surprised? You are lucky we have chased to many fakes. How many just want pictures? How many say they want to meet and then the wife gets sick but the husband is willing to meet alone. Don’t believe everyone you contact is the couple in the profile. Consider yourselves lucky they said no. I would normally say if they sound too good be careful. We were very surprised that we finally met a couple that we were sure were fake that looked better than their pictures. Then again pictures don’t tell the whole story.

People are particular. As a single woman also on a vanilla site I run into plenty fakes, flakes, and freaks. Now add the four way match issue. I had a great phone conversation with the female half of a couple, planned to meet. Plumbing emergency day of on their part. I left the door open to reschedule, never heard back. Dry spells can be annoying. I will admit to being very particular myself on who I do plan to meet so that I tend to have a good success rate there.

You guys all like each other. They seem to appreciate and understand your first three rules. Congratulations. The other rules you mention have merit. About other people being invited, it's your home, therefore it's your invitation. Just have an understanding that if a couple wants to bring another couple, they should run it by you. And certainly no one should drop by uninvited. You two should be the ones to control the operation of these 'rules,' not anyone else. To cede control is to lose it. The other thing I'd be thinking about is 'theme nights.' Most 'groups' like these, or a party theme. They're a lot of work. Enlist other couples to be 'hosts for the night' - it will be their responsibly to put it together and such, all you two should do is relax. Finally, who's going to do all the laundry?

Back down to Mommy's basement??

Ended up attending the meet and greet. Had a great time! Really helped overcome the nervousness of the first move. Feel much better about trying out Trapeze next. And we will definitely check out the resorts. Thanks everyone for the info.

Four way matches are hard to find. If you two are 85-90% comfortable with a couple, count it as a win and enjoy it.

This is why we always say to go with no expectations since you never know who will be there. To just go and have a sexy good time with your SO. It sounds like you still had a pretty good time on the hood of the Mustang...We wish you better luck the next time.

One of our first experiences involved massage with a neighbor. He came over often, sometimes alone or with his girlfriend, and we were all very close friends. We enjoyed having drinks and soaking in the hot tub. Clothes would usually come off and it was no big deal. This time I asked if the boys would give me.a massage and of course they were all in. We put a towel on the bed and I laid on my back while they picked me down and ran their hands all over me. My husband was standing at my head and rubbing my tits. His hrdcock was by my mouth so I started sucking him off. My neighbor was rubbing my thighs so I raised my knees and opened my legs so he could see my pussy. He took my hint and started inserting fingers and rubbing my clit. He lowered his face and gave my some amazing oral. We gave him the "thumbs up" and I felt his big cock sliding inside me. He only lasted a few strokes before he put a nice load on me. He felt amazing so I guided his shaft back inside me so I could cum as well. Hope you have the same experience.

Only in my own mind.....

Well my first time was way back before I was in the Lifestyle. She was a big Star and saw her at one of the Bookstore Theaters by The University I attended. where she was a feature guest. Talked to her and her husband but nothing happen. About 6 weeks later she was a feature guest at the hometown theater. They were suppose to have a ride back to their hotel and it was a no show. So being the gentleman I am offered them a ride and the rest was MFM History. But now I have the pleasure to play with a porn star every time I go to the club and so do many of the guest who attend as the Mrs. is now a porn star on 2 DVD's.

I'm just famous to my children and my SO. For them I will always be a superstar.

I would like to well-known and well-liked and I think I am. Famous? Only in the smaller circles. If I were famous, I'd have to be around a bunch of people who wouldn't look at you unless you were in the circle/club. I might become a snob! I work for a small ***** institution; 900 or so employed. I am quite famous there!...for my work though and not my play!

I am a manager for a large-ish company. (Ok - so it's like the 4th largest company in Ohio), but my division is so small that I doubt anyone who doesn't come in contact with me knows who I am. I came from a very political, well-known family, and I'd never ever ever want to put myself in that spotlight. I am SO happy being relatively unknown.

We only get one vote? Actually, one of us is currently an elected official, the other is an appointed official, and we own a small business. I know of several others who are in the lifestyle who are government officials here in wisconsin. Maybe it is because of the closeness of careers, or who knows, that we know of these people, but can not seem to find "regular" preople in the area. We really do not want to get involved in an "officials only" swing group (one falls they all fall deal) and we just want to go have a good time. "Fame" or in my (Male) case notoriety is not all it is cracked up to be.

HEY, JUST WAIT A MINUTE ADVENTUREUS, where in my post did I EVER call you an asshole? No where! You put that label on yourself; that is not something I said, nor is it implied, so perhaps you may wish to consider looking at that about yourself? Secondly, who says I am not being supportive. Ms or Mr Naughty clearly suffer from the same inability to clearly communicate and understand what is being said and what is not being said. No where in my post did I call you an asshole, and if being honest and direct with you is not "being supportive" then I would say that what you are getting (and perhaps seeking as well) from the other "more supportive" posters is the kind of advise that will "support" you in continuing to be a victim of your circumstances instead of a master of your destiny. Nothing should ever happen in this lifestyle that you don't want to happen, and if it does, then you have a fabulous opportunity to examine what led to that breakdown. I don't know who you are, but if there is one thing I have learned about swinging is that, done the right way for you, it can be a wonderful path for empowerment for women. This stuff is better than watching Oprah and Dr. Phil everyday for a year, and if you are really willing to look at yourself, one simple swing experience can teach you more about yourself than a year of watching Oprah and Phil. Lastly, DON'T THROW IN THE TOWEL AND STOP CALLING YOURSELF AN ASSHOLE. That self-pity crap won't wash with me, and it shouldn't wash with anyone else here as well. Some may call this abrasive, I would simply say that I am being candid, honest and direct. But if you are more interested in someone blowing smoke up your ass, by all means don't listen to me. Love ya. Mr. RND