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My new fetish is simply to be watched. At this point in our fun journey, Iam totally getting off on others watching me or us together. We have been frequenting the public room where I completely release myself to the voyeurs outside. I'm also finding myself in rooms with three or four guys and masturbating for them without letting them play with me. Am I alone or are other guys or ladies at the point where they just want to be watched?

How about saying 'touch me again and I'll have you arrested!'. Nobody should be touched by anyone they don't want touching them. Your husband may find it erotic, but he should be defending you instead of encouraging you to do something you don't enjoy and is damaging your reputation. End this NOW.

Although the guys I have sex with last longer than that and I'm pretty good at anticipating when he's going to cum and get myself off before or as he does, there are times he orgasms well before I do. In those cases we have three options. Usually, I'll suck him up for round two, which for a guy lasts a lot longer than the first. (Sometimes long enough that if I've had enough and there's another woman he can move on to her to finish the second round.) The other option is for him to do oral on me until I've had one or two orgasms myself. The third is for me to move on to another willing partner if one is there (or waiting for me at home).

Just posted this on another thread but it is applicable here as well: Love trust and communication: you can't have too much of any of the three. Make your relationship ROCK SOLID first before continuing. Remember to always move at a pace the slowest is comfortable with. Take baby steps...maybe start with visiting a club with the understanding that you don't do ANYTHING with anyone else, just the two of you. But this is to be done down the road. Take your time. She needs to understand that her being with other men runs the same risk that you being with other women runs and therefore shouldn't be breached until you are both ready. It may take years...it may take a lifetime and still never happen. Start with building up the relationship and when you both trust each other COMPLETELY, then (and only then) consider taking the next step. Jealously is a sign of a lack of one of the three. Take your time and see what happens but make sure that the relationship is as strong as possible before going anywhere. Good luck and let us know how you are doing. Finding a single guy in the lifestyle is like finding a cheeseburger at McDonalds...they are EVERYWHERE, so take your time and find one that is PERFECT for the both of you. First meeting should (IOHO) be a meeting ONLY. With everyone knowing that the meet is only to meet (and not to have sex) it takes the pressure off and gives you the chance to reflect later and make sure that you are both on the same page. Both of you should be talking and be clear as to what you are looking for (is it just sex for her, sex with you watching or assisting, or a FWB situation). We recommend another day. Afterwards you meet you can decide together if you want to move forward with whoever it is. This should be a joint decision and you should both be in agreement: one no is a no for the both of you, you are a team. If you decide to move forward, then plan on getting together. Meet on neutral ground and make sure that any contact (texts, email, calls) between your wife and him INCLUDE you ALWAYS. Then look for couples, but understand that finding a four way match can be difficult (but TOTALLY worth the effort). As for 'performance issues', there's more than one way to skin a cat. You DO have other body parts that work? Tongue, fingers, etc.? Also, most men, after the first shot, can go for quite awhile the second round. Don't worry about any 'issues', just enjoy yourself. Plus there's nothing hotter than watching live sex between people you know. Your 'issue' may not be an issue at all. Don't understand the question. It is what you all agree it to be. It may just be same room sex, or full swap, or anything in between. Decide what you are looking for and set your own rules and limits (and stick with them) and have fun. Don't over think things. Anyways, I'm sure you will have more questions before you move forward so we look forward to hearing them. Good luck and good times.

Love trust and communication: you can't have too much of any of the three. Make your relationship ROCK SOLID first before continuing. Remember to always move at a pace the slowest is comfortable with. Take baby steps...maybe start with visiting a club with the understanding that you don't do ANYTHING with anyone else, just the two of you. But this is to be done down the road. Take your time. She needs to understand that her being with other men runs the same risk that you being with other women runs and therefore shouldn't be breached until you are both ready. It may take years...it may take a lifetime and still never happen. Start with building up the relationship and when you both trust each other COMPLETELY, then (and only then) consider taking the next step. Jealously is a sign of a lack of one of the three. Take your time and see what happens but make sure that the relationship is as strong as possible before going anywhere. Good luck and let us know how you are doing.

Although seeing a man or woman play partner place a hand or lips on my wife's breasts and nipples is ordinary, it still turns me on. Enjoy the experiences along the way of your journey!

Then that's where you start. Enjoy her adventures and don't pressure her. That's how we started. Let her enjoy herself and although it may take a year or two, she will eventually want you in the game as well.

Thank y’all for the advice! We obviously didn’t book the cruise to meet other LS couples, but we’re maybe hoping to meet other couples like us that were curious or even newbies in the LS scene. I agree wholeheartedly about trying local clubs first, and that is something we’ve talked about as well. Being new though it still is a bit scary to actually go to a club and meet other couples. Like I said, I greatly appreciate everyone’s advice and input, it has not fallen on deaf ears. Thanks again!

It seems this is your husband’s kink to watch and you allow it in order to please him. You don’t mention if you’ve told him you don’t enjoy this. As you are clearly not enjoying any of this it doesn’t really fall into swinging but a communication problem you have. Ever use the word No?

So, exactly why do you allow "creepy" people to touch you?

My wife loves to show off.

Before you book the LS cruise I recommend either a visit to a club or start looking for matches on swinger sites. Subscribe to the site for three months and see who might fit particularly someone local. After correspondence and even some phone or online calls, schedule a coffee or a adult beverage—one hour. If things click you can schedule a real date for soft swap, full, same room swap, separate room swap, whatever. At a club go just to see and meet, not to party. See how the vibe and the people fit. The thing about a LS cruise for rookies is that if there are any bumps the ship can be very tiny. Also, chat with folks here and read up. Talk through things and set boundaries such as contact with other players between dates, play without your spouse.

MY SO is the same... I asked her about this once and she said that she enjoyed the notion that their was sperm inside her for a few days. Very erotic. Just the other nite we had a play date and a guy we know well joined us as he was fucking her he asked her where she wanted it... she said.."cum in my pussy with your hard cock but fuck me harder first"... as his balls tightened up I could see his cock finally thrusting inside her. He pulls out and a ton of cum poured out. Very hot...

Try checking out this podcast: Episode 54: Drama in the Lifestyle from: We Gotta Thing ... by: Mr & Mrs Jones (I am not suggesting your situation is "dramatic".) Catherine Scantlin (MS, LPC, RYT) is the featured speaker in this episode, and apparently does long distance (teleconferencing) counseling sessions, especially for Lifestyle (and other "fringe"?) folks. Her contact info is posted on that WGT web page. Here is her business web: https://www.expansiveconnection.com/ Best of luck on your journey.

Now that I am more fully awake. Until this is worked out I would suggest staying on the vanilla side of things as far as swinging goes. Her insecurity at this point is normal enough in itself. Unless you are perfectly okay with the limitations it places on you and are willing to be okay with it for the foreseeable future, I would suggest arriving at some sort of accommodation that you are both really comfortable with. As it stands, what she is proposing would be, for most of us, a "No Go" block to proceeding. Without much further development.

I have a MTF friend who is a nice person and I quite enjoy. I am a little large for her pussy but we find mutual oral sex delicious, she drives me wild and judging from her body changes I think she get off on what I give as well. For now I would rather worship her pretty pussy than consider anal, besides her oral is out of this world!

We just constantly talk. Admittedly, we both have a lot of sexual energy and probably act on it more than most couples but we also entertain each other’s need to chill when needed. We don’t play seperately - it’s always us together. We also mix it up quite a bit and actually spend less time with couples and more in mmf or ffm situations. We have several friend that play seperately so it works out. You will find the right balance through communication.

If you are having trouble communicating, you both need to take a break. Work on your relationship until the love, trust and communication is rock solid and golden. It is the ONLY way to be successful in the L/S. Bring hubby here and ask him to read this thread, that should start the communication. More than likely he just doesn't realize you are feeling like you are. You shouldn't need a counselor to start the talking (even though men just LOVE it when they are told they need to see a marriage counselor...). You aren't that far off track, you just need to open the lines again, but if you feel you really need a counselor, we can charge by the hour (but we don't accept any insurance plans).

1. If I'm having these feelings am I just not "cut out" for the lifestyle? Most have those feelings. After the initial excitement it has also died down a bit for us as well and some good friends of ours. My good friend noticed he is more into it than his SO and their at home sex life has died off again. Ours is up and down. I think she likes sex with others but we cannot dedicate each weekend to it. 2. How much time does the Lifestyle consume of your everyday life? See above 3. How often do you tell your partner no when it comes to other couples? More of a dual agreement. neither pushes the envelope. I appreciate any and all feedback.

You seem to be okay with the L/S, just not so much of the L/S...understandable with kids at home and the rest of life going on. I think that it's that your husband is just wanting it SO MUCH. Too much of anything is usually a bad thing. A couple should move at the pace the slowest member is comfortable with, your husband needs to be told this and he needs to pump the brakes (the other option is eventually you just say 'stop, no more' and it's all finished). He needs to respect your feelings on this. You two are a team, what either one of you says is the answer for both of you. This goes for another one of your questions as well... We believe that 'life must come first' and that swinging is more of a hobby that we fit in when we can. For us that's about once a month. You two are a team, the two of you should decide together how often you want to play, but go at the slowest persons pace. We say 'I don't think so' to each other when we don't think there's a match (which is fairly often since we are looking for matches and not just someone to fuck). If either one of us isn't 'feeling' another couple, then we take a pass...no 'taking one for the team'. He needs to slow down and listen to your wants and needs here. As previously stated, if he doesn't, eventually you are not going to want to do this any longer. He needs to understand: Playing less often is much better than not playing at all. Bigger question is why he isn't as interested in communicating and (more importantly) LISTENING to your wants. Time to sit down and have a talk before you get so frustrated that you throw in the towel. Good luck and let us know how things go.

I agree. Even when we're doing pussy and anal DP, we men have said that we can feel the contours of other guy's cock pretty well, especially the head, and the movement. An exciting reminder of what you're both doing with her.

Also BTW, my wife is attracted to/turned on by a guy's testicles, i.e. the whole package. She likes to look at that part as much as his dick, and lick, suck, play with his balls. (She does it with me and it's ok, but not something I'm crazy about. A good reason to swap.) She'll also put a finger in a guy's ass to play with the internal parts.

Tried it once, felt great to me. Wife wasn’t a fan though said it stretched her out too much too fast.

It’s a truism in the LS that the women commonly out-dress the men. There are some excellent basic posts here that have stood the test of time, but, a couple of additional points. If it’s a theme night, and the gentleman takes the time to join his lady dressing in theme, others notice. Couples that are thoughtful and creative enough to dress in theme together have already shown the world that they are in sync with each other and support each other. Yes, if it’s a theme night, we’ll work to complement—and compliment—each other. If we’re just “dressing to impress”, textures, fabrics, and layers matter. It’s not just how they drape. It’s that a potential playmate is going to feel what you are wearing. Whether it’s a hug, a touch on the arm or thigh, or those initial moments of intimacy as the clothes come off, clothes will be seen and felt. Not only do gauze, silk, cashmere, and leather look different—they feel different. Ladies notice these things. Any gentleman who has accompanied his lady while shopping for clothes knows just how much she responds to how fabrics feel. Invite your lady to pick out your outfit to complement hers. Better yet, invite her to shop together. She know what looks good on you as well as—and likely better—than you do. Putting the outfits together with her is an expression of affection. It’s important to her that she have a “sharp-dressed man” on her arm. After all, you’re the one she’s going home with at the end of the evening.

I can almost feel your experience coursing through my cock

Not too many left on the list for us, A really good orgy, been in a few and they weren't all that good Dp and dvp for her A Bi female sex slave for both of us Taking a friend shopping, Picking her clothes, and watching her model them. I have done this in the past and I love it. Mr We have done the blackout orgy with 4 couples it was the best yet. And we did use the glow condoms, it did look funny but that was the only way to know where they were for changing them between partners.

I once had sex with 3 different guys in the same day. One them was my husband and and none of them knew about the other.

Hmmmm, I don't know about other uncut men, but I have never had a problem with Ted cumming to soon...even our quickies last over two hours and then I usually have to let him know that its okay to cum. The man has excellent self control. Teresa

I prefer cut - Eric is, as well as all but two other guys we have been with. However, one of my favorites was an uncut black dude (my first black experience). It also helped that he was ~10" and would cum by the gallon (or so it seemed)! I agree with Connie that uncut guys seem to get off faster. Michelle