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Sex with a different person is always a turn on.

Not even sure where to start my post. My husband and I have been in the lifestyle for over a year now. While we've had some hot times, it has been hotter for my husband. He loves EVERY aspect of the lifestyle. The partying, the going out every weekend, the flirting, the texting, the KIKing, the touching, the sex...all of it. It's not that I don't like it, it's that I don't like all of it all the time. We still have two teenagers at home and I'm still a Mom. So sometime's I don't want to feel like I HAVE to Kik someone or have to be sexy...sometimes I want to be a normal family. I love the sexual aspect of the lifestyle. Sometimes the idea of certain situations turns out to be hotter than the situation but it's still fun. What I'm not a fan of: How some of it makes me feel. I don't like watching him be sensual and loving to another woman. I can watch him fuck one, but not the hand touching, sensual kisses, etc. He says the flirting is the hottest part and maybe I just shouldn't be in the lifestyle since I don't like it. Again, I like it....certain times and places. I was a bigger flirt than him before the lifestyle! My husband is ALL in. We are on multiple websites, have over 15 KIK conversations/groups and we go out a minimum of once a weekend (he'd prefer twice). I get overwhelmed and we "slow down" but it's always a very short time and I feel very guilty about it. He checks the websites, Kik, texts habitually. My husband is much less picky about the people we play with. Since he does the majority of the websites he tells me all the time how often he turns people away because he knows I won't be interested. So out of the couples we talk to and sometimes play with there are really only a handful that I'm really into. I just don't feel like always being the wet blanket and saying no. Our KIK conversations would be much much smaller if we only went off my wants and I feel very guilty about that so I says yes to people that are good not great. I guess I need a point or a question to my post. So here are a few, honestly I just want feedback from others in the Lifestyle. Needing to feel "normal" 1.) If I'm having these feelings am I just not "cut out" for the lifestyle? 2.) How much time does the Lifestyle consume of your everyday life? 3.) How often do you tell your partner no when it comes to other couples? I appreciate any and all feedback.

No, it's not really polite, but if they aren't aware of how they come across in a conversation, you probably can't expect them to be any more self-aware in bed. As for whether or not it's an insult, I was once told that feeling insulted is a choice. It took a while for that to sink in, but if you try to remember that, eventually, you'll see things like that for what they are: Impolite people being impolite. That's about them, not you.

Epidode 41. Episode 54 it's also good about explaining "drama". The guest is Catherine, a licensed professional counselor and swinger.

I'm with you on this subject. My boyfriend encourages me to exploit situations, like bars and beaches. My micro spandex dresses barely cover standing, so a bar stool...getting on and off, or even sitting on it without crossing my legs bares quite enough for the men.

My Cassell's German dictionary defines "Angst" as "fear, anxiety, anguish." There are compound words with further meanings that use specifying roots. There is no listing for "... while swapping spouses." I felt fear, anxiety and anguish one time in 30 years of marriage. It was surprising, at best. We had had a fun-filled "same room" experience with Pat and Jo on the floor in our den. (The kids were at Grandma's for the weekend.) Back to normal breathing, holding fresh drinks, the four of us were relaxing. I thought Pat was expressing appreciation to Laura about a remark she made when he hugged her across the shoulders. For some reason she interpreted the hug as either wanting her to suck his cock (which she didn't) or to lay her head on his thigh, which she did. He began to stroke her face and hair. The feeling that overcame me was frightening. My wife had just enthusiastically fucked this man from hell to breakfast right in front of me and my stomach was churning because he was stroking her hair??? How crazy was that?? Our playmates had a commitment the next morning, so Pat and Jo dressed and went home, not because of the incident. We never told them about it. Laura and I hashed it over for hours that night and days (weeks? years?) thereafter. The talks usually led to making love. We eventually concluded that my "angst" related to a family tradition. We usually put our sons to bed at night and talked to them while running our fingers through their hair, "Loving their hair." During their childhood, both often asked us to "Love my hair, please." One quit asking in high school; the other in college. I believe it was a foundation of our communicative relationships with our sons. That need to communicate also resulted in the four of us sitting for two hours after dinner, just chatting. We three still do that when they are in town. Neither of us wanted our family tradition to turn sexual in any way. Laura promised me it would never happen again and it didn't.

Even at first when my wife went to lovers on her own, there was no "unbearable anguish of life with the hopes of overcoming this seemingly impossible situation." The happiness that I saw in my wife and her affection for me when she is able enjoy her sexual freedom brought positive feelings. After I occasionally became involved in her exploits with other men and women, then started my own, all doubts evaporated.

A great observation. A man is better off with a woman who likes sex too much than not enough.

Your girl is a rare gem. I hope you're open minded enough to make it work. In my 50's I regret the things I didn't do rather than the things that I did that went south.

Everyone has their preferences. I'm sure you do to. What I/we do is to just not reply to people we are not interested in. Yes. I know. Ive heard it before on here. Not replying is not rude. I consider it to be polite. I wish more people would handle rejection and move on. My thinking is if they get angry at a non reply they seem to be demanding a sexual encounter. Are those the kind of laid back friendly people you desire?

BTW, the rest of your response was on target, too. People remember kindness and slights. They remember when they gave a gift and never got a response, let alone a thank you.

I would never post or send a sex tape to anyone. I don’t even trust cloud storage.

G- and R-rated conversations using online video might be useful. Start with the partner (the husband?) you are in touch with and establish a pattern. Invite your wife to listen/watch in. Apps like Hangouts and Zoom can bring in several "rooms" even though you are in the same house. Is the other wife interested? Start with things in common especially the prospect of a real-life meeting, just dinner or drinks. Get your wife used to the venue and with their faces and voices. Talk about it later. For a newbie it's not about what but about who. Audio and video can help with who.

I'd say it really rather depends on what you mean by "slut." I consider my wife to be my wife. She an intelligent, educated, strong, confident, sexually open, more-than-a-little-weird woman. I would also say she's a slut... in that she likes sex, enjoys sex with a wide variety of men, enjoys having sex with multiple men at the same time, is a bit kinky and is perfectly comfortable with all of that. However, I don't consider the word "slut" to be pejorative in this sense. I don't think any less of her because she enjoys these things. In most of the world, women who enjoy sex are demeaned and insulted, while men who do the same are lionized. I reject that out of hand.

ask Mr. alura,

Men don’t chose what they have, and for me I truly enjoy that they aren’t all the same. Women do have the option of implants, boobs and butts. I would say at one point in my life I wished I had bigger boobs. It was a growing up thing and friends were developing faster than me. I never really wanted implants, just wanted naturally bigger ones. My “larger clit” was something that also bothered me. I have learned it’s not s turn off. People can have all the surgery and enhancements they want or ca afford, it will not change who they are inside. That being said we are all find attractions in different things.

Our answer is a bit different. We were born in the early 50's, grew up through the 60's, and so on. Like so many in our generation, we sensed that we didn't resonate well with several prevailing social norms--the prohibition against casual nudity, the prohibition against even mild public displays of affection, many double standards around sexuality, etc. Unlike so many in our generation, we didn't just "go through a rebellious phase" and then align with prevailing norms. Rather, we thought carefully about our values. Our first step into alternative lifestyles was via social nudism. With each successive step, we asked ourselves, "how does this next step fit with our values?" This has proven a durable approach--we are now together for 44+ years.

Having an in-depth discussion with my wife about it. Have done it several times since then. Next step will be checking out a club. This is just to jump right in and see what happens. Zero expectations of how far we'll get.

Really depends on the season and location! Rather cold most times of the year where we are, but during summer it's great (as brief as it is!) Below is what you could say would be the absolute minimum during summer (only!) depending on location Work, Daily life, Beach, Topless beach Oh and nude beach, as per profile pic