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I think it's because it's 'out of the ordinary.' The majority of people, both male and female, have had their ideas about sexuality shaped as children and teenagers by their parents, their peers, their church, television, etc. That's what's 'right' to them. So wives, if they're not going to be pure and monogamous, must be cheaters. There's simply no room for open marriages and hotwifing in their limited world view. By the same token in that world view any man who's wife cheats on him is a cuckold and less of a real man - because if he was a real man she'd be satisfied and wouldn't want to have sex with anyone else. In many men's views, if a married woman comes on to him a bar, he knows she needs sex because her husband isn't providing it. And then when she says, 'Oh, he's fine with me doing this, in fact he wants to be right there," it throws their world view and they don't know what to do. So they decline. Free Love!

I posted a thread almost two months ago asking for advice on an opportunity to do a "unicorn swap" with the wife and her friend. The responses were cautionary and I think that was warranted, since we were a little blinded by our libidos and maybe biting off more than we could chew involving someone we didn't know. So, instead, we went ahead and did half of it. Maybe still a bad idea, but we felt like it was less of a bad idea. Mrs. E and I talked about it and concluded that it wasn't a good idea because there were too many unknown quantities. Since it had sort of stayed in the storyboard phase with the neighbor, we figured we just wouldn't broach the subject and that if it came up, she'd offer a little white lie that I had just been kidding and that Mrs. E had missed the joke. Move forward a couple of weeks, and sure enough, the neighbor fished around with Mrs. E about it, she explained the situation, and while her friend was cool about it and only slightly disappointed, suggested that it was still something she wanted to try eventually and that there was no need for it to be a reciprocal thing. Surprisingly, Mrs. E told me that she wasn't just open to that, but enthusiastic about it. It sounded less complicated to her, and after talking it out, she had no issues with us trying it other than a couple of physical rules. - She didn't want me cumming inside the neighbor, even with a condom. - She wanted us all to kiss, but thought it would be too much for them to do oral on each other. - Not a chance in hell she was going to let there be a video. I tried to renegotiate that one several times. We figured that the worst case "very realistic" scenario was a rumor getting out and that while she'd consider it a bigger scandal than I would, life would go on and she'd just be rumored to be, by far, the most fun wife on the street. Life is short and she wanted to do it, and was hot talking about it in bed. Her getting hot about me with other women during dirty talk is not common but when she does she's really into it and I took it as a signal that she was definitely ready to sign up. There were some girl talk conversations I didn't pry into and we set up a date night for Saturday. Met at a neighborhood pub to get better acquainted and had an early dinner, came back to our place to hang out and have another drink. Long story short, I'm grateful to Eli Lilly and Company for the Cialis assistance with my performance, because despite getting off in the morning, some mutual making out and heavy petting on the couch turned to oral and my first orgasm happened far, far too quickly. Mrs. E was on her knees between my legs and the neighbor resting her head on my lap, while they got acclimated to kissing each other and I fingered the neighbor under her skirt, and I just thought about it all too hard and managed to end up shooting into the air right next to them. They were both startled but we laughed it off and decided to keep fooling around kissing, touching, and licking until I was hard again, then we'd go upstairs. That didn't take too long, and we ended up trying a couple of positions. Mrs. E wanted to cum and wanted me to screw her for a bit with her legs over my shoulders on the edge of the bed, and at first the neighbor hung back sitting on the bed watching, but eventually got into first touching herself, then kissing and touching both of us. I ended up putting on a condom so she could ride me for a while and go at her own pace, and she did need some time to get comfortable enough to put it in but I had fun warming her up with my hands before she sat all the way down on it and got to work. After a few minutes, Mrs. E kissed her a few times and then made out with me and let me suck on her tits while I fingered her, and when I was ready to cum I asked Mrs. E what she wanted, she deferred to the neighbor, and I ended up rolling over with her and taking the condom off to finish on her stomach while she touched herself, which she seemed to really enjoy. We emptied out the bottle of wine we'd opened and I spent the next fifteen minutes or so performing oral on both of them, and I figured we'd end it there but managed to get hard again. Mrs. E and I did 69 for a few minutes, then traded off with the neighbor, then I wanted to screw the neighbor again and let Mrs. E put on a condom so I could take her from behind while they finally got comfortable enough to really make out with each other and play with each other's breasts. Neighbor wanted her hair pulled. Eventually my legs were tired, I couldn't keep going like that, and eventually let Mrs. E jump on top without the condom to try to finish me while the neighbor rested. She did try to sit on my face for a minute but they found it too awkward being right in each other's faces. No chance I was going to climax again, it was unbelievably frustrating, but Mrs. E broke a sweat trying her hardest and came like crazy. We sent her home just after 1:00 am. Made a point of exchanging some normal-sounding pleasantries at the door in case any neighbors overheard. New experience, good experience. Never done FMF without another M hanging around somewhere. Woke up late with a brutal hard-on in the morning and dragged Mrs. E into the shower to finish up what I couldn't the night before. Neighbor texted me while we were in there that she was really glad we invited her over, then they met at the gym as usual and she told Mrs. E in person that she had a lot of fun and was happy she did it. We left it there, although we decided in bed last night after Game of Thrones that if she brings it up we're not going to automatically reject another visit as long as we don't get any weird vibes about it. She's happy we did it, too, and had more fun than she thought she would. She feels like she did something extra-salacious and pushed her boundaries and is very pleased with herself. Moral of the story, if there is one: 10mg of Cialis is an amazing tool for fighting any lingering performance anxiety.

We will probably not be a fan of some for this question but it needs to be asked... What do you do/say when you meet someone or you see their photos online and they are too big, clearly lied about their weight and/or posted old photos? We have been in this awkward situation more times than we care to remember. We aren't here to hurt feelings but if you are too big, we aren't interested. We aren't into all shapes and sizes and physical attraction means just as much to us as personality. So how do you nicely say "if you are fat we are not interested"? How do you nicely say "try being honest to others and yourself about your size?" Clearly everyone has a different definition of HWP in their own eyes and stating that in our profile has been ineffective. We have given birth, have jobs, have lives etc... and we are not even slightly overweight. Those things do not excuse you to put others in unwanted awkward situations or lie to yourself and others about your true size. - Frustrated

Sometimes when we go out to a pub or dance club, we like to go in at separately and pretend we don't know each other. We make sure we can always see each other and watch each others interactions with people. We find it a big turn on to see each other get hit on and and tease each other. Do any other couples like this kind of play? Is there an actual name for this game?

I am accustomed to meeting new friends for drinks or coffee with no expectation of play. Afterwards, people can decline to pursue fun for any reason. The rule is be sensitive. "No thank you, we are not a match," is enough. Just don't ghost the other party. This is a small community and gaining a reputation as discourteous or worse can be harmful to further fun.

Maybe there was no intention to compare the wife to the ball The analogy is about giving space to each other's activities, without jealousy or competition. Use of the word, "affair". Is it from an outsider's point of view? Or we only call it an affair if Rebecca's date doesnt know she is married? My understanding is it is an affair if one of the parties doesnt know what the other is doing?

Sounds good, except for the bowling part.

Adam, that was a VERY astute answer and right on the money!

Your concerns are valid but perhaps premature. Don't plan anything too far in advance and initially, I'd shy away from anything more than perhaps a half a day social 4-some. Let it flow and revisit your concerns with your wife in a week or two. These things sometimes burn very brightly at first and then just fizzle out on their own.

You can't imagine. You try it and if you don't like it, adjust and try again. If it doesn't work out after a couple of tries, you quit without regret or recrimination. Don't over complicate it.

I think most guys (including my husband) really don't care, they just want to get theirs too. And seeing her have sex with someone else indicates that she (me) is ready and willing. I am taken with the thought for several days afterwards that the sperm of one or two or three men are swimming around inside me. That's why although I enjoy and do oral and anal to completion (for him), I much prefer that a man cums in my vagina.

Nope. It felt like something that I deserved. It was a feeling of empowerment that I was fucking them on my terms. Even more so because they both knew about the other and still wanted me anyway. At my request, they met. They were monogamous with me even though I didn't ask, probably because I gave them both as much sex and love as they could handle. In time we began relationships with other women because I wanted it, both because I am attracted to women and I wanted to be on the other side of nonmonogamy. It also freed me from my stifling religious upbringing.

The online one is easy, "Thanks for contacting us, but we don't feel we would be a good match." Simple and works every time, and I don't see why anyone would feel the need to do more than that. Honestly, you sort of come off with an attitude like it's their fault for not being what you want. You set your standards so that responsibility lies wholly with you. If it is in person and they have misrepresented themselves, then that is a different situation entirely. Then it is their fault if they didn't hold up their end of the bargain by providing you accurate information for you to make that evaluation, and the responsibility for that lies wholly with them. In those cases, I'd just disengage as quickly as possible while still retaining some sense of politeness. Lecturing them on the error of their ways isn't going to be any more effective, it just makes you look like an ass. The swinging community isn't that big, and their best friends may be the next hot couple you see that you are just dying to get together with, until "Oh yeah, them..." They know what they are doing, and a meet that went nowhere fast conveys the message just fine. Not sure what this has to do with anything. We go to work every day too and see fat people, skinny people, honest people, dishonest people. Pretty sure that's the same for everyone. I also think it's the height of arrogance to assume someone is lying to themselves, like you think you know them better then they know themselves? Again, if they lie to you in some form or fashion, different story. But, is it a lie, or was it something less, maybe just not meeting the expectation? Has someone ever walked away from a meet with you thinking "They were funny in their profile but sort of dull in person" or "They seemed well spoken in their profile but the way he/she talked turned me off" or whatever else about someone may not live up to what the expectations were. Was that a lie on your part that you weren't as funny, well spoken, etc. as what they thought you were in your profile? Or was it because based on very minimal information they were, right or wrong, expecting X and got Y? Do you feel like they have some obligation or right to spell out for you in detail why you didn't live up to their standards, or do you think "Nice to meet you, we need to be going now" was sufficient? What I just described is the gray area of course. There are times when people are just flat out lying, and for them, don't waste any more of your time than you have to with explanations or whatever, just move on.