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Showing content with the highest reputation on 06/13/2019 in Posts
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3 pointsI think that we are already over the hump...that most people don't care who we love or how we love or even who we have sex with anymore. The one good thing that the millennials are bringing to the table is universal acceptance for (almost) anything.
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2 pointsI agree. There no percentage for the TV producers for a swinger show about successful swingers. Essentially the reality shows are about Crash & Burn. Like the YouTube videos of auto accidents, aircraft crashes, and bullies getting punked and owned. Folks who live vicariously love that stuff, but I'd be bored 10-20 minutes in. A legit documentary might be interesting. Alternately there a increasing amount of fiction about alternative life styles. 'Easy' on NetFlix is a really well done series of fictional stories about urban professionals in Chicago. Some stories touch on the LS, a few go deeply into it, and many are about other bits of almost ordinary lives. There another show from Britain of a married middle class couple who tries a open marriage and finds all the pitfalls. Both are well done, tho Easy is probably the better. Both have a healthy mix of humor and serious moments & neither gets very melodramatic of cheesy.
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2 pointsA, I'm not sure what your point is. I and my wife have been in the Lifestyle for decades. Yes, we're retired now, but formerly I was an IT professional and my wife was on the facility of public schools, both elementary and high school. No, we weren't concerned over being let go for our Saturday night enjoyment. If they fired everybody who is an adulterer, only 20% of people would be working.
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1 pointMaybe I'm just bumping this to humble-brag, but I guess we sized up the situation well enough. Saturday was one of the few sunny days this week, and since I was home, we decided to do some hiking in the state park then go to the gym together afterwards. We got home, decided to cook out, threw some sausages and shrimp on, and then "The Neighbor" jogged by, saw us down the corner, and stopped off to chat. Long story short, we'd planned on making leftovers and had plenty, so invited her to have a bite with us. The conversation was good, touched on her sex life a bit, and between that and the two bottles we'd opened for dinner, we ended up in the bedroom again. Just soft/oral play, before we moved into the bedroom. Eventually, I was screwing Mrs. E from behind and came, and when she got up to clean up, by the time she came back The Neighbor was fast asleep and we just left her there and passed out ourselves. At some point in the night before dawn she woke up, we were all sort of awake, and she apologized profusely for crashing with us - we didn't actually care, although it was all unplanned - before realizing I had a severe hard-on and asked Mrs. E if she could do me before she went home. It was one of those morning erections that's a little insensitive and doesn't go down without a fight, and after she rode it for a while as Mrs. E kissed me, my very helpful wife took the condom off and tried her luck while the Neighbor rubbed herself next to us, before I was finally awake enough and got the idea to put on another condom and jump on top of her missionary. That did the job, and when I was getting warmed up to cum, Mrs. E told me she didn't care if I went ahead. I didn't need to be told twice. Sun was up, birds were singing, nice way to start the day. Neighbor ended up helping with a light breakfast while the weather went south again. We figured they were going to do cardio anyway and it'd look really odd for her to run out of the house in the rain in the same workout gear that early if anyone saw us talking last night, so she just washed up and we hung out for an hour or so before they went together in the car out of the garage. I had to leave town Monday. They had a good talk and clarified that if the Neighbor wants to hang out and we're all feeling it, that's fine, but that she fully understands that it's just for fun, might stop for any reason and isn't an insult, and that we're not going to become some kind of a poly "item". She's getting some kind of a kick out of being the gatekeeper to her friend using my cock and can't quite explain what she's enjoying, but is really having her "this is completely unlike me" fun. This weekend Mrs. E and I are in the city hanging out together and think we're meeting one of the two couples we play with on Saturday. If it works out, we're heading for a new record for play sessions in a month. Life is full of outside stresses at the moment but we're extremely happy about how this is going.
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1 pointThe problem with a swinger reality TV show would be that to "win" at swinging, there has to be zero drama. That's the Holy Grail. What gets ratings with TV shows is drama. So it's totally The reverse of what makes a successful swinging couple.
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1 pointNon-Monogamy & Sexual Freedom - Awareness, Education, and Acceptance Bringing about change in thoughts & ideas... regarding the openness and various possibilities in sexuality. ref> ... The above excerpt inspired this thread. (Credit where it's due.) ;-) When I was in my 20's, even my 30's, the Internet and the associated mass (global) communication outlets did not exist. BBS's like this one (as well as other websites, social media, podcasts, "dating" sites, etc.) no doubt are causing a shift in awareness & perception. An additional benefit is that at a younger age, folks can find out more information about how to more freely express themselves. It seems to me that above all else... it is about freedom. It is also (IMHO) a lot about understanding ourselves... and how we are evolving. Who & How we "Love" (or even "just have sex with") is for sure a changing landscape (based on my observation & experience). I almost see it as a mission, or a responsibility, to raise awareness on the subject of "open sexuality" (or anything else, I reckon) as we gain a better understanding of it ourselves, and are able to better communicate that. ... I have found this BBS to be an amazing outlet for education on the subject of non-monogamy (and, of course, the Swinger Lifestyle). As an example... One thing I have been thinking about lately is that it seems to be more socially acceptable these days to be gay (homosexual), than to be Polyamorous (or a Swinger). To "come out" as being gay these days is far less dangerous than it was say 50 years ago. (FYI... The Equal Employment Opportunity Act appeared in 1972.) Likewise... I sense that bisexuality, like polyamory, is not as socially acceptable as being in a monogamous gay relationship. i.e. Bisexuality & Polyamory, and the LS, all seem to automatically assume non-monogamy... and it is the openness of those sexual choices that seem to be the bigger taboo subject right now. Anyway... I get that this will not happen anytime soon (not in my lifetime, for sure). I do feel however, that there is a sort of paradigm shift going on now (regarding perceptions on sexuality), and that it is rapidly gaining momentum. (And like so many other things, will we be able, as a species, to keep up with that accelerating rate of change.) I'd be curious to hear other thoughts, ideas, and perceptions about the trends of changes related to sexuality... and the impacts to society... past, present, and future. :-) If you want to learn more (about Pansexuality, etc.)... Here are a few links to get you started: https://www.google.com/search?q=pansexuality https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality Psychology Today... About Pansexuality BTW... I stared to reply to the above referenced post in the original thread, but soon realized it may be better suited to a new topic. Thanks for indulging my ramblings.
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1 pointThis makes perfect sense to me. Orgasms are a certainly a big signal and it can be very difficult for me not to cum if Mrs. E is getting someone off. The first time we ever played she was giving head while I was getting it and when I realized he was going to pop in her mouth, I only had two choices: ask my partner to stop sucking or lose it. I had to get up and walk around for a bit after all that just to calm my balls down.
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1 pointThere's such a thing as hedonic adaptation, and what they call the "hedonic treadmill" effect. Putting in a high amount of effort to add stimulus to your life tends to be a dead end because you eventually get used to it, then have to put in even more effort to step it up further. The same can be true of sexual experimentation. We definitely want to keep pushing our boundaries but like keeping it in small doses.
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1 pointI agree generally, but for us which includes the couples who we play with, the way we are currently being nonmonogamous was a recalibration, a new normal. It is many things, including more fulfilling and liberating, and perhaps "spicy" is not the right word. It is definitely not numbing, certainly less frantic than the way we used to swing.
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1 point
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1 pointI cringe when the term "raise awareness" is used. How presumptuous and smug is the assumption that I somehow need anyone to raise my awareness to anything? Isn't that up to me? Shouldn't I be able to choose what Im aware of? We like to have sex with our friends, we're not shifting paradigms, we're sharing orgasms. This isn't rocket science, its simply recreational sex. And guess what, we can do that without labels or psychobabble, thank you very much.
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1 point
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1 pointThe original poster seems to have some serious issues which have been nicely addressed by the previous posts. To answer the question in the subject - ABSOLUTELY YES! It is about her and my desire to make her happy and enjoy life to the fullest. And we are both solid in our relationship and our love for each other to make this possible.
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1 pointA lesbians is born as a lesbian. A gay man is born as a gay man. A bisexual person is born as a bisexual person. A transgender person is born as one gender but after realizing they are inside a different gender, make a change. A swinger was not born as a swinger. But in another sense, all of us were born as swingers. Getting past or getting around the social convention called monogamy makes a swinger. A swinger is not a member of the so-called LGBT-Q community.
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1 pointI'm with Gold. It seems that the "powers" that be are spending a lot of energy trying to divide our societies. White/Black, Gay/straight, immigrants/americans, republican/democrat, rich/poor, pro-life/pro-choice etc etc. There is only one way I can think of to co-exist with other humans and that's to be one great melting pot with lots of different views backgrounds and traditions that are respected even if not enjoyed. Then we can look for common ground as a society. Participating in a "subgroup" is fine, but must be part of a great whole. Sorry for the hijack, but it all starts with each and every one of us.
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1 pointHave we (the public in general, not just swingers) not divided EVERYONE into small enough subgroups? I would rather belong to the group of people as a whole and have us all work towards making the world a better place for everyone, not just the particular subgroup that they identify with.
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1 pointHaving dealt in the past with someone with bipolar disorder...well, she may have said for you to go now, but the bipolar part says at some point she will swing the other way and come down on you for something. Once again, fix the relationship before you swing and eventually bring drama into the other couples life (and yours).
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1 pointSame here. During an MFM with my wife (or one of the other guys' wives actually), the woman usually takes care of both of us for a while, then likes to concentrate on one guy. I always prefer going second because watching the show is much better before I cum. So I'll masturbate without cumming while they fuck then go into the same hole and finish where he blew his load.
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1 pointPlease, please don't subject normal swinger couples to your marital drama. Yes, comparatively, we ARE normal. You are so wrong about so many things, particularly about why couples get into swinging. I imagine that your next post will tell us how your wife threw a fit BECAUSE you did what she told you to do and she'll have to go off with some other people to even the score. This is the kind of drama we'd NEVER knowingly invite into our home or bed. But good luck to you, you're gonna need it.
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1 pointYou raise an interesting point. The 'Q' can stand for either 'Queer' or 'Questioning.' Although I don't consider myself sexually queer, I'm definitely questioning traditional monogamy. However, I wouldn't say that I'm LGBT-Q, as the moniker seems oriented towards people with non-traditional gender roles. I am (more or less) heterosexual, so I don't think I fit into that camp. And, of course, I don't think it really matters what you call yourself as long as you're respectful of other people and having fun. So . . .
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1 pointIf your biggest 'problem' is worrying about changing condoms when you change women...you worry too much.
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1 pointWhen my wife and I have an MFM, I usually let them play for quite awhile before I join in. As they're getting naked, I do too, and I handle my penis while she and he are having fun. I don't normally come, but just enjoy myself. When they come to a resting point, often after he's come inside her, I'll take over and add my semen to his. I don't know if you'd call this 'masturbating' though . . .
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1 pointSeattlecple, congrats on the progress! Sounds like you both had an amazing time! I had a feeling it wouldn't be too long before she would have someone playing with her in one form or another. It sounds like this guy was very respectful, and a delight for her to play with. I imagine it would be nice to do that again with him. Is your wife interesting in giving oral sex to another man? I ask because I know how incredibly horny my wife is when she's giving oral sex and having vaginal sex at the same time. On the monogamy point; did you know that almost all bird species are lifetime monogamous? There are a few exceptions, but generally it's the case. Not so with mammals. Somewhere around 85% of mammals are not monogamous. Humans, of course, are mammals. It stands to reason there a very high chance that humans are non-monogamous as well. There is a very strong evidence that monogamy is a social construct.
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1 pointI should be able to double like this. You had a great night and I salute you!! Wish e had been there.
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1 pointCould it be that he is just trying desperately not to finish first? Once the other guy cums, that's his cue that it's ok for him to finish as well. He relaxes enough to let it happen.
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1 pointGuys are so visual. Perhaps he is seeing what's happening between your husband and you or the other wife and he is also visualizing what he can't see (the dick sliding in and out of one of two pussies he knows well) but he does know what it feels like. When your husband cums, he can visualize that too and the combination of what he's watching and what he sees in his head triggers him. We have never experienced a symbiotic orgasm as described but it's kind of cool. If my guess is accurate, that guy has a lot of fun stuff going on in his head.
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1 pointAnother good reason why you should keep your swinging life and vanilla life separated, go somewhere that swingers hangout and pretty much everybody will be cool with the idea of mfm, due mainly to the honesty of the participants, as in they are happy admitting what turns them on, like you say most of your friends would probably be up for it but probably aren't ready to admit it's a turn on. They probably watch mfm porn all the time.