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About 20 years ago, my best friend asked me if my wife and me would be interested in swapping with his wife and him. They had a pool and we had skinny dipped with them but nothing more. Our wives were out at lunch at time and we talked about it for a while. I was interested, but I told him my wife definitely would not be. We had been to Hedo and played together in public, but not with any one else and my wife said she thought swinging was disgusting. So I didn't bring it up with my wife. In the meantime over the years my wife and I have been to Desire several times, and on the last trip to Desire we met a couple we spent quite a bit of time with. They said they weren't swingers, and we told them we weren't either. They lived only a couple hours from us and we've met several times for lunch or dinner. There was no discussion of swapping. We decided a couple weeks ago that we would all go to Desire together this fall. Yesterday, I asked my wife what she would do if he got touchy with her at Desire. I know he has a thing for her and his wife and I flirt a lot, but nothing physical. She said she wouldn't get mad at him or anything, and then said she wouldn't mind it. So I asked her if she wouldn't mind or whether she would actualy like for him to touch her. I could have fallen on the floor when she said she would like it. So for the first time ever we talked openly about swinging. I asked her how far she would go with him and she said she didn't know, that it would all depend on the situation. She asked me how I felt about his wife and I told her that I would like to have sex with her, but wouldn't do it unless she had sex with him. She said that was possible, but she would really have to be in the mood, the timing would have to be right, and she would probably need a few drinks to loosen up. I told her about the conversation with our friend twenty years before (he sadly passed away at an early age a few years ago), and she said she wished I had told her about it, and that if the circumstances were right, she probably would have done it. All I've been able to think about since is twenty wasted years. I had been afraid to ask her. Back then we didn't communicate about sex very much. I don't know what will happen at Desire, but I suspect its going to be fun.

Seems more like comparing bananas and peaches....

I would be very careful about admitting that again in just those words. (G)

Don't waste time looking backwards: learn form yesterday, live for today and prepare for tomorrow. It took awhile for you both to get where you are, in hindsight she SAYS that she would consider swinging, but she may not have done it back then. She seems to be ready and considering it now. Go forward with no expectations and NOT PRESSURE on her. If it happens, it happens. But in moving forward, keep talking and sharing and who knows...good luck and let us know how things go.

Is swinging everything you thought it would be? We came into this not really expecting anything. It was a fantasy that we decided to try and fulfill. That we even have a relationship that is THIS AWESOME is amazing. Swinging is only the sprinkles on top of the sundae, we could have lived without them, but having them there is just a bonus. Are you finding it to be the fun and free lifestyle you thought? Yes. Having friends that you can get naked with or talk about sex with, or have sex with...it's a fantasy that most people have but they never take the steps or effort to achieve. I don't care how close you are to your (vanilla) friends, but you are not going to tell them what amazing thing you did in the bedroom last weekend (or living room, garage, front porch, hood of the car, in the park, etc.). It's great being able to talk about anything to your partner and/or your naughty best friends and not have them be shocked and dismayed. Were you looking for friends and can now only find people looking for sex? No, we only look for people that we are interested in becoming friends with first...the sex is just a bonus that comes afterward Are you happy with how things have turned out or a bit disappointed in what you have found? Overall, happy. It is HARD to find a four way match and takes time and effort, but once you find that match, all the effort is worth it. It may seem to be taking forever, but it IS worth the effort. Bonus question: Where in the Constitution or Bill of Rights does "putting sexual preference up front" get mentioned as a basic right? Amendment I Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. Amendment IX The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people. In other words, the rights of the people are not limited to just the rights listed in the Constitution. We are free to do or pursue whatever freedoms we decide to pursue since we are free men and women. It's what makes America great.

I am guessing you posed the question to women. I have been having oral sex with guys all my sexual life. I admit the first times I gagged, choked and vomited. With practice all that went away and it became fun and yes I didn’t mind swallowing. It wasn’t until years later, after college that I ever saw a vagina other than mine, that close up. After the first time doing oral to a girlfriend, something I can’t believe I did, I couldn’t wait to do it again. I never lost the enjoyment of guys and now still look forward to being with other girlfriends. My then found sexuality opened up more enjoyment knowing I don’t need to choose.

I guess the way I describe it is women are easier to read and physically easier to please. Men can be stoic and hard to read. In my experience, men have many more sexual issues than women. Some can't get hard, but can come. Some get rock hard but can't come from oral. Some guys come when they first expose their dick. Some guys require a commitment to completing the job. The time afterward between men and women is 180 degrees different. Women will hang, relax, cuddle, chat. Men will look at the floor as they get dressed as if the house is on fire and bolt the fuck out. Other then that, they are exactly alike! Preference? hmm, women can come and come and come. They can be played like an instrument and respond nicely. Something about making a man come is more rewarding and it's a much more intense experience. It's close but women just provide a more complete experience and are nicer to be around.

We are swinger/nudist outliers as well. Fortunately the beach we frequent has a wonderful representation of all types. The trick is to read them well if you want to "go there." Last weekend I couldn't take my eyes off of an amazing looking man that was there with another couple. After some innocent talk I began to hint that we were both swingers. As he seemed comfortable with the conversation I "went there.". I told him he had a beautiful big penis and asked him if I could see it nice and hard out in the parking lot. We all left together and ended up in our room. Being naked around a hundred other people is a sexual experience for me and many other I expect. I'm not going to lie about it or hide behind it. I love watching guys look at me, I like seeing their naked bodies and I love the feeling of being naked outside. Not sure what that makes me...

I suppose my impressions of the nudist resort and all that happened were grievously wrong. Nudist resort members have pure minds and view other members as wholesome minded regardless of their physical attractiveness. It's like the Garden of Eden, where both genders romp around enjoying the natural beauty that surrounds them without distortion. Where males view female athletic and mental ability over all else, and females would never eye a male below the belt to consider what he has to offer. Where all conduct themselves with a modest outlook and as equals since their status in life is not on display. How absolutely lovely it is. Swingers who dare visit and associate with these pure minded folk, would never consider polluting the minds of such a fine assembly. When visiting such a resort, they safe-guard their personal lifestyle so as to not divulge their personal interests. Although they may allow their eyes to evaluate the physical characteristics of another member, bridging the moral barrier simply wouldn't enter their minds. Said another way, what I thought I saw and experienced on my first trip to a nudist resort was simply a mind fuck - a fantasy of demented proportion that is offensive to nudists and swingers alike. Even voicing such a distorted view of the mingling of these two lifestyles has set me aside as a freak of nature, What more can one expect from someone raised of the other side of the tracks?

I would like somebody to explain to me the current standard of Vaginal (and Penile, for that matter) appearance. Since my divorce, almost every woman I have had sex with, married or otherwise, has had a bare puss. Why? I can understand that you trim you bush for bathing suits, but I can see no other good reason to peel yourself like a grape. Is it to make yourself feel younger? Do you WANT to look like a pre-teen girl or boy?. I don't get it.

You are so on target! For me the emotional rollercoaster, somewhat self imposed was amazing. Watching her pleasured and watching her get into it after some initial reluctance was amazing. Seeing another man enter her was mind blowing. The glow after .. was ...

I got into my first soft play with another woman recently while my husband watched. He got an immediate erection, and masturbated while watching us. It was extremely erotic and arousing to see him doing that. It definitely added to the experience.

If she does decide she wants to do it again I would ask her does she want the same guy. In general I recommend a first meeting be just that. It gives the two of you more time to talk about just what you want. It also helps vet the flakes/fakes/freaks. For me what is missing from your scenario is the sense of being seduced. I love two men massaging me at the same time, getting me even more excited. Sounds like when she is having sex with the other man she wants you touching her too.

The attraction is 100% on my wife. If shes likes, I like. Personally, attitude is tops I would say. The physical side is low on the scale.

Phew!!! I was worried that I could be considered a "cuckold" because I encourage my hot wife to enjoy other men. Humiliation is certainly not my thing. I don't understand the feelings, but watching my wife ride and a suck a dick is one of the most exciting experiences of my life. Seeing him turned on by her, she by him, his dick hard, her pussy dripping wet, their guttural moans and dirty talk and then the joyous climax of both. I am SO glad we tried this a few years ago. It's amazing how it's changed our lives.