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Unless you are "out" as a swinger - I cannot for the life of me understand why you would trust Facebook. Facebook has consistently shown itself as untrustworthy. Facebook would sell YOUR soul for a dollar.

Hoping to get more input on this... Say there was another site, we'll say SwingersBoard.com, that had groups. You could make the groups open to all, hidden to all, or something in between, like the existence of the group itself is visible but one isn't granted admittance to see anything until they ask to be admitted and the group organizer approves them. Inside the group you could post pics, messages, your own private group forum. So, you could just chat with each other, organize events, and so on. If you so choose, your group content could also be cross-promoted in the main site forums, thereby hopefully driving more members and group activity. Before someone points out that we already have Social Groups on this site, yes, we do, and that feature sucks, which is why we've never promoted that part of the site much, and on mobile, it doesn't even exist. What do you think, fruitless exercise, won't be able to pull a soul away from Facebook. Or, something worth pursuing? mrs cplnuswing does FB, I'm one of the eight people left on Planet Earth that doesn't. No way in HELL am I doing anything swinging-related on FB...but maybe it's just a few of us in that tiny minority??

Drugs, alcohol and sex are not a good combination,

To the OP... well, you messed up. As others have said, drugs and swinging is a bad combination. You need to work with your partner and try to resolve the issue. That said, I think your partner should have been more forthcoming with his objections. He could easily have said something at the time, in both cases. He certainly should have said something afterward. Hinting and dropping subtle clues doesn't do it. He should clearly and honestly express himself... and so should you.

Respectfully, I disagree. Swinging is about sharing. It requires communication, trust and honesty. When a couple establishes boundaries, they should be respected. Swinging is not a license to break the rules. It requires a different, in many ways stricter, set of rules.

Each of us were serial monogamists for our entire lives. When we met we were for 40 years "monogamists" in the way the term is used here. If for some reason we stopped the LS portion of our lives I would, and I believe she would, have no problems returning to that way of living. So, in the way you meant it our default is monogamist. Now I would like to address the word monogamist itself, its actual meaning , and how most define marriage. 1. Mono gameo means I marry one or I am married to one. 2. Many define marriage as mutually exclusive sex primarily, with attached items like finances and raising children. For many though the sex issue is the defining issue. 1a. As for the two of us, we still consider ourselves monogamist. We each have exactly one spouse. 2a. Exclusive sex had a place for a while in our earlier years, while raising children and doing all the things that people do in their 30-40 year vanilla lives. Doing those things and maintaining the "US" in the world was a full time job. Other people would have been an overload if allowed to close. Therefore the Vanilla/PTA/Church framework was firmly the limit. As we matured the importance we attached to exclusive sex diminished and our free time for closer relationships increased. What defines marriage for us is Trust, Loyalty, Openness, Transparency and a clear assurance that we each have the others back. Enjoying some pleasure with others has no bearing on marriage as we live it. We seek out couples who have a similar perspective. So far they have not been in short supply. Our main friends now are companions in many ways . Sex is just one of the things in the mix.

I disagree...they'll take for much less than that.

We are very private and we are not on Facebook. Agree with previous poster, do not trust them.

First off (as already pointed out) confidence is very sexy...more than looks to some people. Work together on trying to become more confident and open. Second, don't waste a bunch of time with emails or texts online. If you find a couple that you think you may be interested in, set up a meeting with them for dinner or drinks. You will learn more in 5 minutes in person than you ever will learn about them online. This also quickly eliminates the flakes and fakes. We've met a bunch of couples where one of them were 'doing this for their SO to get it out of their system' or just didn't know what their SO was even planning. While couples like that are a waste of time, most won't ever agree to even meet (and the 'bad' couples do make funny stories to tell in the future). Don't just pick couples based on the pictures. Pictures can (and sometimes will) be old or misrepresentative of who they actually are. Plus, confidence is sexy. Personality is sexy. Humor is sexy. Lots of things other than looks are sexy. We have met some drop dead looking couples in the past who had personalities of a damp dish rag or just loved themselves more than life itself (everything is all about them). No thank you, next. Don't take lack of interest as a rejection either. If there isn't a spark, there just isn't a spark and pursuing things further isn't going to change that. They are doing you a favor if they are not interested. This can be tough since sometimes you will think a couple is perfect and you both feel a spark only to find out that they aren't interested. It's not personal, move on and think of the time they saved you. Finding a four way match is MUCH harder than finding your SO. You liked them and they liked you...simple. But finding another couple...you have to like both of them and they have to like both of you (4 squared instead of just 2). It's hard...but it is fantastic when you find that couple that matches up with you both. The effort is worth it when it happens. Sometimes it's good to take a break looking and come back after awhile. Putting too much effort into finding another couple can take away the effort you are putting into each other. Take your time, don't become too obsessed with looking, and just enjoy that you and your SO are even able to consider walking this path together. Very few people ever get to where this is an option. Take a deep breath and come back in a few weeks and see what you may find, or try visiting a club or house party as something different. There's not as many real frogs as you would think in the pond, but somewhere there is the perfect frogs for you. Sometimes you just have to wait until everyone is ready to hop. Good luck and let us know how things go for you.

It is simply amazing how a topic can bring about callous excitement and rage in some folks. There's a superiority complex on both sides. As a black man I've been stereotyped and while I do fit some of those stereotypes I do excel in areas outside the sexual arena. Bottom line is I'm a magnificently talented, charming individual with a vast knowledge of technical, social as well as scientific subjects. I just happen to be of color. As for the black women, having had experiences with both black, white, Hispanic, and Asian, lips factor very little if at all with regards to fellatio. If you were to be blindfolded you couldn't tell the difference between a Nigerian female, Taiwanese, German or Honduran mouth. To believe such is just as shallow as the "Endowed Mandingo" theory.

If I haven't cum yet, I eat other the other guys' jit right out of my wife's twat. It usually makes her cum again, almost immediately--especially if she's sucking his cock. He reciprocates with his wife. Now as someone above mentioned, if I've (we guys) have also cum, then if the gals want us to eat them out, they just have to hold it a while, 'cause we'll not be up to it for a while--as was written--mojo out the door. (Note: I had read, a while back, that lifesavers are one way for a female to eat a male's cum when giving him a blow-job. The same works for eating creampies... especially wild cherry.)

I started eating my wife after I fucked her years ago and a while back after we found a threesome partner she wanted me to eat her after he fucked her. I was reluctant at first but now I enjoy it because she does. I decided what the hell, she tastes his cum why shouldn't I. A