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My best advice, and I'm sure eyes are rolling, is to listen to podcasts. My wife and I would coordinate which episodes we would listen to during the day, then discuss the topics at night when we lye in bed. After, a couple of hundred hours of listening and discussing we felt very prepared to jump in - even with both feet! ? We have had people in the LS for many years refuse to believe that we were only into it for a couple of months. Also, I would read every post and thread on this board and bring up topics during our talks. Podcasts: That Couple Next Door We Gotta Thing Swinger Diaries Just don't be dissolutioned that there won't be struggles from time to time. But, you will have the tools to deal with those struggles. Thank God for Headspace and meditation in general!

We used condoms only because my gal could not use the birth control pills. Apparently during an MFM the guy's sperm got into her and she got pregnant. He had a fresh condom on whenever he was in her so apparently he had sperm on his fingers while we were warming her up with foreplay. From then on, she put in a Today's Sponge before we left the house or hotel room to meet up with the other guy(s). And, I keep an up-to-date package of Plan B for her in case a condom breaks or comes off. Another method to guard against accidental pregnancy is for her to have a IUD put in her. Planned parenthood will do that for a very low fee. But, you should always use condoms to guard against STDs.

Its a Foria product. It comes in a small pump bottle. I spray a small amount on my wife's clit, and spray some on my fingers to apply inside the vagina. It takes about 10 minutes to fully take effect, but it does has some ingredient that causes a tingly sensation (Common in many lubes today). There was a previous thread about Foria Pleasure, which contains THC. This is CBD based, and should be more widely available. I was curious if anyone has tried other CBD based oils, possibly one that is less expensive.

We enjoy MFMs. We normally meet candidates who we bumped into on-line at a bar near our home. If the wife, Mary, is feeling amorous towards him (let’s call him Jim), we’ll invite him to come home with us. He almost always agrees. Kitty, you are right. Jim is usually cautious as to what he’s going to do (particularly if he’s a newbie,) and Mary unwittingly doesn’t make it easy on him because she likes talking about our house and the antiques she has in the rooms. When we first started doing this, I might let her go on for an hour, watching Jim’s desire wane and frustration grow. I created a way to get things going, (Just to reassure, I discussed this with Mary when a man wasn’t present, she agreed this would be the best way.) When we first come in the house, I give them some time alone while I go upstairs and prepare the bedroom (light candles, put soft music on the stereo) and make drinks - five minutes or more. Usually when I bring the drinks into the living room, Mary is explaining a dod-dad and Jim is wondering what’s going on. I will then sidle up to Mary’s side opposite Jim and begin stroking her ass. This is an implicit signal to Mary, ‘remember why you’re here.’ Sometimes, she’ll then turn to Jim and put a hand on his shoulder or something, they kiss, the night’s off . . . Other times I’ll turn her towards Jim, unbutton her blouse and open it so Jim can see her bra. If he’s still cautious I’ll ask, “Jim, would you like to kiss Mary?” From that point on, nature takes over. When we get to the bedroom I’ll normally hang back and let them go at it for awhile. If I’ve asked Jim’s permission and he’s agreed, I’ll take pictures or videos of them. When they are naked, I’ll take my own clothes off. As they go through their various maneuvers, I’ll watch, usually sitting, possibly standing nearby. Often I’ll stroke Mary’s skin or kiss her - particularly if they’re in doggy - but I won’t bother her as she wants to concentrate on Jim. After Jim has orgasmed and a few minutes have gone by for the breathing and heart pumping to return to normal, I’ll approach Mary and she and I will begin our foreplay. As I make love to her, I’ll encourage Jim to help her with his hands and lips. Usually, this incites him and he and Mary will go for round two before everyone’s had enough and Jim leaves. This routine works for us.

We had a similar issue early on. Each of us making a reasonable assumption, just not the same one. We learned from that experience that when something goes sideways to say something right off as soon as we are alone and then talk it through. Our take away from our misstep is that we each need to be absolutely clear that neither will ever intentionally hurt the other. When missteps occur, and they will, clarification is the answer, not anger or jealousy, or taking offense .

The first time my wife and I went to a swingers club, many years ago, we also had the problem of not actually communicating what we wanted and what our limits were. As a result, we also made some mistakes. It happens. Understand that what happened here is a communication problem. The obvious stuff, the common sense stuff... those things are called assumptions and, to quote Samuel L Jackson, everyone knows that when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of you and 'umption. Before you go back to the club, you need to clearly define your boundaries. Talk about all the assumptions, all the obvious things... because they aren't obvious. Set some hard limits, maybe a lot of them. You can always scale them back later. My other advice might be harder... forgive her. Did she mess up? Maybe, certainly she hurt your feelings but she didn't do it intentionally. If anything, she was trying to please you and she simply didn't understand the limit that you didn't tell her about. Was the other guys disrespectful? I think so, yes. It's unfortunate, but such guys exist everywhere and the Lifestyle has it's fair share. That isn't your wife's fault, it's his. Be honest, talk it through, communicate your limits and forgive her. The first time is always hard. It can get better.

@Eyelike2pleaseu, if you think your social connections are vanillas, try getting a gf or buddy for swinging on Swingers' sites, like SLS or Aff. Same advice for single F. When I tried it first time and didnt want my friends to know abt it, I looked for a single M in a site and found a FWB which became my swing buddy. For single F, it is safer to have a swing buddy (if u cant find a bf open to it) if you want to explore more. If single M, it can jumpstart your lifestyle experience than being solo. My 2 cents.

I once knew a woman who, early in her life, drank milk. From that she went to beer, scotch, marijuana, cigarettes, and eventually cocaine. Dear Lord! Just imagine if she'd never have tried milk, she would never have used those harder drugs.

In the long run you have do decide for yourself what is sinful and what isn't. It was once said that all religions are founded on the fear of the many and the cleverness of the few. Organized religions are based on other people's ideals and interpretations of what someone else said. For us sin is anything that creates emotional or physical harm to anybody else. Beyond that simple rule it is simply other people judging you based on their own biases and fears. So don't worry about what your priest says, or what your neighbors say, or your family. This is your life, not theirs. They do not live your life for you, therefore they should not have a say-so in how you live it. As long as your actions do not harm them or anyone else then you are a good person and you are not sinning.