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To each their own, but I can't imagine a relationship lasting very long with a woman who imagined she was going to police my orgasms.

More than a party foul, a party technical foul with an ejection from the game. One should ALWAYS ask permission to touch another person. He's lucky that his nose is still in one piece and he wasn't walking 'funny' for what he did.

As you described, the guy swam up and groped your wife, apparently without her invitation or permission, in a situation where you expected a vanilla evening. This after he copped feels on other women. The guy was an asshole and your reaction was protective and appropriate. Good for you!

Nac: Your relationship is not strong enough to be swinging. If he is so hurt by your actions, but he was unable to tell you at the time and was still bringing it up weeks later, well...neither of you should be swinging. Love, trust, and communication is the cornerstone for swinging. Until you have these three things built out of bedrock, any more swinging will only weaken the relationship.

She was as shocked as I was. It was totally unexpected and not welcomed. We weren't expecting this to be a swinging event going in. Like I said before. The invitation was for just a party and the couple hosting had been out of the lifestyle for a few years. Every other party we have attended at their home has been a vanilla event. We were not opposed to the party being a swinging event but we would like to be familiar with the folks we are getting personal with. Don't just assume you can come up and grab my wife if I don't know you. There is a level of respect that I expect out of other males at swinging events. This guy was a newbie and thought every female was fair game for him.

My wife is not a submissive woman and doesn't tolerate any abuse, but she sometimes refers to herself as (and asked sex partners to call her) "slut", "cunt" and other words that are offensive. She owns those words and it makes her extremely aggressive. IDK, it's just part of her fun. Serious question, does this saying refer to the planet or the element? It could make sense either way.

We bypass the rinsing and just get down into that mess we spend the past hours creating as soon as we're in the door. There's just something about my wife having sex with others that makes me want her more.

There is a reference to the bunkhouse always being accessible, and one of the pics is captioned about what happens here stays here. Definitely insinuates a playhouse for sexual activities.

Seriously, I suspect some part of your ex -- perhaps outside her awareness -- is a bit jealous of that part of the life you have with your wife.

My wife and I were just talking about this yesterday, noting stuff we read here that showed people are far, far more upset about the idea of a spouse playing WITH permission than a spouse playing WITHOUT permission. Our screwed up society thinks it's some how more acceptable to cheat than it is to have a supportive spouse who wants you to have fun. From one angle, I sort of get it. I have a former girlfriend whom I am still close with who knows my wife and I play. She's been quite upset about it. It's the whole marriage-as-an-institution thing. If you're cheating on someone, it's wrong, everyone accepts it as wrong, and the institution is preserved. If you're not cheating, but doing it with permission, it's not wrong, and therefore it tears down the institution. Or so the thinking goes I suppose. It's still messed up. Some years ago, my wife was out of town with her then boyfriend for a sleep over. I ended up with a serious medical issue that required me going to the hospital, though it wasn't a desperate emergency; I had time to call her before I went. She was very upset, and wanted to come home. I told her it didn't make sense; by the time she got back, I'd be home recovering. I told her I loved her, hoped she was having a lot of fun with her boyfriend, and told her very clearly that I wanted her to keep having fun. I didn't want my predicament to be a cause for her not to have fun, else there wasn't much point in her being there, and it would be a wasted trip. I went to the hospital, took care of what needed to be taken care of, and she kept having sex with her boyfriend. She was worried, but was able to relax enough to have fun. My former girlfriend found out about this, and was actively angry my wife was out of town when I needed to go to the hospital. I explained it wasn't planned that way, and there was nothing she could have done anyway as by the time she got back I would have long been back home already. She was still mad. My wife and her have a good relationship, but I think her knowledge of my wife and I swinging has deteriorated the relationship somewhat. Sad.

That has happened to me. Now I routinely "select all" and then "copy" as I'm writing to save my work and "paste" if need to.

The first time my wife and I went to a swingers club, many years ago, we also had the problem of not actually communicating what we wanted and what our limits were. As a result, we also made some mistakes. It happens. Understand that what happened here is a communication problem. The obvious stuff, the common sense stuff... those things are called assumptions and, to quote Samuel L Jackson, everyone knows that when you make an assumption, you make an ass out of you and 'umption. Before you go back to the club, you need to clearly define your boundaries. Talk about all the assumptions, all the obvious things... because they aren't obvious. Set some hard limits, maybe a lot of them. You can always scale them back later. My other advice might be harder... forgive her. Did she mess up? Maybe, certainly she hurt your feelings but she didn't do it intentionally. If anything, she was trying to please you and she simply didn't understand the limit that you didn't tell her about. Was the other guys disrespectful? I think so, yes. It's unfortunate, but such guys exist everywhere and the Lifestyle has it's fair share. That isn't your wife's fault, it's his. Be honest, talk it through, communicate your limits and forgive her. The first time is always hard. It can get better.

This can definitely get tricky and uncomfortable. We recently had an experience with a close friend that started to get uncomfortable. Our friend had recently gone through a very ugly divorce. She has been unable to meet anyone and was simply miserable. After a night of cocktails I invited her to join us to simply unwind and enjoy some selfish pleasure. We were already very close and had spent many hours naked together in our hot tub. My husband and I gave her an amazing night of guilt free sex. We laughed about it a couple of days later and she clearly seemed to love the fact that we could have sex free of any strings. About two weeks later, we were out and she asked us to take care of her again to help her relax and de-stress. This time she really connected with my husband and couldn't leave his cock alone while I watched or gave her oral while he was inside her. A couple of days later, my husband told me.thay she invited him over alone so we had to call it quits. I think if you are going to go in this direction, it's important to make sure they are in a solid mental space to avoid an confusion.

Hey, all. My husband and I just had our first swinging experience, and it's kind of blowing my mind. It wasn't planned, though we had talked about the idea of bringing another man into the bedroom. My husband is bi, and to be frank, I love dicks, so this is a topic that had come up a lot for us. We've been together for a very long time and our sex life is better than it's ever been, so I think that factored in to things going the way they did this weekend. Now I'm trying to make sense of it all! As we often do when we have a chance to get away, we went to Atlantic City for a couple of nights. We love having great restaurants and entertainment right there and walking the boardwalk, as grungy as it can be. There's something about AC that's just pure indulgence. On our second day, we hit the pool and had a great afternoon fuck and went for an early dinner. Dinner was wonderful and done early enough to hit the tables for a few hours. I like to play blackjack. My husband plays poker. Anyway, I sat down at a table that seemed to have a good vibe and got chatty, like I always do. There were guys sitting on each side of me, which is par for the course when you're gambling. Guy on my right was a douchebag. Guy on my left was charming and equally unimpressed with guy on my right. Time went by and I got on a good run. Most of the table was winning. Douchebag guy eventually bottomed out and left (yay!) and I got to know the other guy better. We had a lot in common, especially 100% sarcastic attitudes. We started playing each other's hands when one of us went to the bathroom, and before I knew it, it's 1am and my husband comes back from poker. I ask Blackjack Guy if he'd like to go grab some food because I'm fucking starving (this always happens at the tables) and we end up stuffing our faces with pizza slices. Now, hubs and I had talked about the idea of inviting a guy to our room, so I discreetly asked hubs if he was into it and he said YES. I felt like I was having an out of body experience, but I made myself just do it and asked Blackjack Guy if he'd like to have fun with us. Turned out he wasn't bi, but he was into the idea of sharing me with my husband. Seriously, I thought I would faint. We grabbed some mixers and protection and headed back to our room. They undressed me together, which was fucking amazing. A few minutes later we were all in bed and getting acquainted and shockingly, it felt so normal and natural. Blackjack Guy turned out to be really kind and thoughtful, and wasn't in any kind of rush, so we really enjoyed the hell out of each other. By the time we were done, the sun was coming up and I needed a shower, LOL. While I know it's probably not much of a feat to find a guy who wants to have sex, it really felt like we hit the jackpot with Blackjack Guy and now I'm wondering how we ever get to that place again. Honestly, the idea of soliciting people online or in apps freaks me out. I don't want strangers to use me. I want to have fun with people who give a shit about the people they're with...so I guess I'm wondering what we do now. We told Blackjack Guy he was our first, and he was surprised. He thought we'd done it before, but we were just winging it. I'm nervous about winging it again, but I'd love to find a bi guy for my husband. Would love insights from others who've ended up in similar position (pun intended).

Respectfully, I disagree. Swinging is about sharing. It requires communication, trust and honesty. When a couple establishes boundaries, they should be respected. Swinging is not a license to break the rules. It requires a different, in many ways stricter, set of rules.

Sounds to me like your boyfriend has issues. Swinging is supposed to be about exploring, pushing boundaries, and being happy when your partner finds some fun. He is controlling. Is he like this in other ways? BTW, nice to see you found someone who played with you while on your period. I do it and my wife appreciates it when other guys will take her that way as well.