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This is a complicated topic but a good thread. I wonder about it often enough. My high school sweetheart and I used to fool around a few times with those singles lines, masturbating each other while we had phone sex with strangers. It just seemed like fun experimentation. After we parted ways but still fooled around, she asked me I'd mind if she had sex with the mutual friend who had introduced us but had always been crazy about her, just to see what it was like. I was surprised that I didn't and encouraged her to go for it. Instead, she ended up having sex with another friend of his in the shower and gave me a great blowjob a couple weeks later telling me about it. The signs about what I was into were always there, but it didn't really click.

For people that are willing to share if that's OK, what the biggest age gap that you have played with? When I got started in the lifestyle I was 18, and I asked my parents for advice. I asked them if I could play with their friends. Most of them were 25+ years older them me. The oldest was 30 years older then me. They were fine with it. So their friends and I played.

We are a married couple and have been together for 20 years. We've been going down this road for a couple years now... Two weeks ago my wife was flirting with a worker at a bar and kissed him when leaving. One week ago, she went and asked for him, they walked to the beach and gave him a blowjob. Details to make the story worth reading: He bit her neck, pulled her hair and came in her mouth. Tonight the plan is to take it all the way... and she will fuck him after he gets off work in our hotel room (I will not be in the room). Everything went from excitement to nervousness when I woke up this morning. Still wanting it to happen but just more nervous than excited. She plan on videoing, seems like that would be a good way to not have to ask so many questions.

I am curious how people would react to using something like the "Safe App". It is an app where one uploads testing data and shows your status of various std's and when the test was last taken right on your phone. While I understand that one can never be 100% sure about your partner's immediate status, it seems to me that someone who does test regularly and who is proactive enough to use such an app for disclosure to prospective sex partners and to require disclosure, is a lot less likely to have an std and to unknowingly transmit one. I certainly would be more comfortable with someone who had a full panel of tests a month ago than someone who never had a test. It seems to me if such a thing became more prevalent and customary among the swinger community, it would go a long way to reducing the possibility of unwittingly contracting something and increasing people's comfort with swinging. Thoughts?

Just to be clear Fit, I most assuredly don't want "to get anywhere" with someone overly sensitive or easily offended. I believe the poster has an absolute right to be both. I objected to the presumption that most women should agree with her reaction to the word cougar without regard to the context of its use. Some people seem to search out reasons to be offended over some of the most simple minded topics, and the blog about this word, which started out light hearted and innocuous, is a prime example of victimhood run amok.

Who ever heard of a cougar needing a license? You eat what you catch.

njbm, I do not think anyone supporting this type of idea is suggesting that it provides any type of guarantee. There is merit , however, in the idea that someone who has been active for a few years and comes up clean is probably safer than someone who has been active for the same time and has not tests at all. This is the same type of thinking that causes us to stay clear of people that we know to be "high traffic zones" even though there is a possibility that one of their partners could easily share our bed. There certainly is no surety of pedigree with our partners and our partners partners. It still seems prudent to stay clear of the most active amongst us.

Good luck with the nerves As for the questions after the fact...sometimes that's the best part

I originally met my wife(kitten) at my first ever LS experience. It was a MMF threesome. So it comes more natural for us than most. I do very much enjoy watching her play with others, male or female. I find I would rather watch her than play myself. When I was younger I never thought I would feel this way about anyone but its the bond that we have with each other that makes it easy. We do only play together that is our main rule.