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For my two cents worth . We wouldn’t consider this swinging .. just our take on it but we believe swinging should be open and honest ? Or am I looking at this wrong ?

One of things that we had the hardest time convincing ourselves to go through with in swinging? Registering on this site. It was back when we were just thinking about it, and the specific bit of info we were looking for couldn't be found by just lurking around, so if I was going to get an answer to the question, I was going to have to ask it myself. I finally got up the nerve to do so, registered, posted a thread, got the answer, which led to something else which led to something else and then here we are today For many their first real tangible step in swinging is registering online on a site, and the first steps are always the hardest to take! We would love to have our lurker vs poster ratio improve, but the best way I know of for doing that is for those of us that do post is to just keep doing what we're doing, the more the better, to show what a great community this is and how the more involved you are in it, the more you get from it.

Same for us. My wife is genuinely in love with another man who she plays with. It doesn't bother me or his wife in the least, since it hasn't diminished love for their spouses. Actually, I think his wife sometimes hurts his feelings by calling it "puppy love" and other things. I've been in both situations with my wife and much prefer the way it is now with us having limited partners. First, because it's safer and because I prefer her having sex with guys who care about her rather than she being something to fuck and leave. We started out even more unbalanced, with my wife playing alone separately with two of her exes. It didn't bother me, it was a good way to start, she felt very comfortable with guys she knew, had fucked before, and she enjoyed sex with. It was hot for me afterwards. Agreed, I enjoy that tremendously, but surprisingly I now get more excited when I'm the workhorse pumping away trying to make her cum while loverboy there is kissing her and feeling her breast. Yeah, but that's more for couples play, especially when there's more than one other couple. The women get to choose the arrangements. Sloppy seconds, especially sloppy seconds. After some vigorous play sessions my wife will come to me all messy and dirty, but still ready to go. She'll suck up my limp dick, I enter her in loving missionary position, and I realize that she has virtually an endless capacity for sex and love.

So we go to a party at some friends' house. They haven't been active in the lifestyle for a few years. So we were just expecting a vanilla party. We get there and there is alot of activity, which is fine. But not what we were expecting. My wife gets in the pool and is talking with some friends when one of the guys at the party, who was going from woman to woman and groping and kissing decides he's going to swim up and grab my wife's tits. I had never met the guy and he didn't know us either. I quickly stepped in and told him to keep his hands to himself. I was accused of being in a "bad mood". My question is how am I wrong here? This guy showed a total lack of respect and etiquette for both us and the lifestyle by assuming he can just do what he wants with every woman in the pool. I pulled him aside and explained it all to him, but he was still a dick the rest of the night. Anyone experience anything similar? How did you handle it?

Nothing wrong with lurking. Reading and learning are valuable and worthy things, sometimes more than speaking. As with any good swinging event (or any event, really), everyone is welcome to participate in the way they desire, to the degree they are comfortable.

There are probably a subset of the couples that come here who might think of actually registering as a slippery slope sort of thing. It's a little bit terrifying. So, they lurk and read and lurk and read trying to educate themselves. That can work of course. For our parts, my wife loves this board because of all the help it gave us early on, and now because of something of the hilarious stories we read here, and the interesting experiences as well. But, she never posts. That's what works for her. I vaguely remember reading something, and it might not have even been about this forum in particular, but the ratio of lurkers to posters was 10:1. That doesn't really surprise me. And yes, this really is a great community!

I strongly agree with others here. In no sense was this swinging. You might have gotten a seriously erotic high off of it, as many men in swinging seriously enjoy watching their wives have sex with other men. But, it's not swinging. Cheating and swinging are 180 degrees polar opposites of each other. You get a far, far, far greater erotic high off of it when you're both on the same page, both open and honest with each other, and both supporting each other having sex with others. Cheating is destructive, dishonest, and destroys relationships. I for one could never, ever accept my wife cheating on me. Trust and loyalty are incredibly important to me. Ironically, that's a big part of the reason why being a swinger makes me closer to my wife than ever before; being so trusting of each other to enable her to have sex with other men. This isn't at all what happened here, and I would never in a million years tolerate my wife doing this. I agree with padoc that this drug dealer is not your friend. He's an utter asshole. If he's still in your life, these many years on, get him permanently out of your life. I agree with others that it's not likely this is the first time or last time your wife cheated on you. It might not be with this guy, but there's a fair chance it's still happening to this day. Your wife showed absolute disrespect for you, and to this day likely has no respect for you at all. Swinging is about being 100% honest, having 100% trust, and engaging 100% in communication. You have none of that with your wife. You're a million miles away from being a swinger with her. Her having sex with other men while you watch should NOT happen in the current state of your relationship. You have a very long road in front of you to rebuild trust just to get to the point of having a healthy relationship, much less ever consider swinging. Some men like being true cuckolds; their wives having sex with whomever they want without their husbands consent but with his knowledge. This is 100% repugnant to me and I would never in a million years allow myself to be in such a situation. It most emphatically isn't swinging. If you like this, that's your business, but I couldn't look myself in the mirror. Such a relationship is utterly destructive of anything that a good relationship is based upon. All of this isn't to say you aren't welcome here. We're a helpful bunch here, and if you have questions I'm sure we'll answer.

You can call it whatever you want but the reality is that your drug dealer got you stoned on your ass and then fucked your wife in a car. Lessons to be learned from this are: 1. Your drug dealer isn't your friend. 2. Drug dealers are not to be trusted. 3. Your wife fucked your drug dealer. She cheated on you, she was NOT swinging. 4. Protecting your wife should ALWAYS be your first priority. 5. You failed to behave like a man and stay sober enough to protect your wife. 6. If your still doing business with that guy, he's probably still doing business with your wife. This may have been the first time she cheated but I seriously doubt it and I seriously doubt it will be the last time.

I love sharing our stories, insights and experiences. Not sure if anyone ever listens, but sometimes it's just nice to share in an open forum with no judgement.

WE lurked for quite a while while making up our minds. This sight and it many generous contributors acted as LS 101 through Graduation. During that time the only thing we did was read and perhaps ask a question for clarification. Listening in on the conversations here was one of the best moves that we made on the journey. Mouths shut ears open can be very profitable. The ability that this forum provides to do just that is of great value. Once we thought that there was sufficient experience on our part we started to contribute.

Some people come to this site out of curiosity. Be happy that not all people post. Some just brag and have nothing to add to a conversation. I have seen posts that say hundreds read a post and only two respond. Then I see posts from years ago that get new insight from new posters. Some categories go dormant for months and then there is a bunch of new posts. If you are looking for advice, post a question. Most likely someone can relate. Think of something interesting? Post it, others might find it interesting too. Have a joke? Share it, we all need a laugh. Do you have an experience you just have to share? Post it. Lurkers will read it, others will tell you their similar experience and others will tell you what you did wrong. Yes, there are always those on any board. Just remember to have fun, balance the advice given. Don’t get angry at people who give too much advice. Welcome to a world of fun.

The first time that we play with a new third my wife knows that I want her to get to know the new guy. Towards that end I "play host". I join in some when I think she would benefit, and am ready to act if she seems to want me to intervene. The second time, if he is invited back, he is informed that the in the initial experience he was treated as a guest, and that henceforth he should not be surprised if I take a more dominant role. This works well for the two of us. With her favorite third the two of us men have developed a well functioning team.

We men always think we know it all going into something like this. Then the moment is happening and it's the most erotic experience ever, and it won't get hard. It doesn't even make sense. But as you get more comfortable, it will start working. Give it time and most importantly, don't overthink it. It can snowball if you are all stressed out about it happening again, It probably will for the first couple times. As your experience grows, you will encounter men that will also experience this. Very important to let the wife know it has nothing to do with her.

I'm not a sex addict, but my wife is. I like it that way.

We're with the majority - for whatever reason, women like to kiss women (and everyone likes seeing it) but men don't like to kiss men (and no one wants to see that shit).

We avoid anyone who wants to go through kik. It's just one more gimmicky way to hand over your personal information to a company that doesn't need it or to someone who exploits the company's carelessness in securing its data. Kik is just a solution to a non-existent problem that introduces another way to give up your personal information to the world. Do things the simple way. Buy a burner phone you use for nothing but this. When you set it up, do so without providing any personal information. Tracfone, at least, will let you set the phone up without providing any information at all about yourself. That disconnects your regular life from this life without any inconvenience and you never have to give your real phone number to anyone or worry about who it's safe to give a phone number to. No need to trust an app.

My wife contends that for whatever reason, most people despise anyone who engages in and enjoys nonmonogamy, or lets their spouse do so. Society does not necessarily have the individual's best interests at heart, even when it does others no harm.