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I appreciate the input. The dilemma for us is that everything else in the situation is great. There is great chemistry and it's very comfortable. I just feel ultimately we decided to delve into this lifestyle to break up monogamy ... not start a new version of it. My greatest hope is that he is open to us exploring elsewhere

We met him through an app my wife uses. He's relatively new, but has had a few experiences as a third. My wife is thinking the 3 of us need to sit down and put it on the table. I do agree that if anger is the response, I'm out. That's a major red flag

BlueStag, it's not the norm that a single male request he be the only one your wife sees. My wife and I would turn his request down, to the point that if he made it before we played, he would never get in my wife's pants. You want new experiences at this point, else your wife wouldn't be chatting with other guys. I'd make a decision to see other people, if I were you. Ethically, the only thing I think you owe the initial gentleman is to tell him that you're probably going to open up your situation. If he complains, simply don't see him anymore. Best of luck.

^^ This. Just be happy about where you are now and let things develop on their own. It might stay where it's at, or as she gets more comfortable, her interests may expand. Trying to force things to go to another level before someone is ready for that never works out in the long run. Just be cool and enjoy the ride and see where it takes you, I'll bet you will be surprised.

So, finally remembered to get out the old ruler. Pleasantly surprised. A solid 6.5" and thick. walking around like a cock in a hen house today. Only problem is I've notice a slight curve , more like a tiny bend near the glands. Didn't have THAT before. Two issues: 1. What is causing it AND more importantly WILL IT GET WORSE ? Noting on the web that makes me nervous, but no solution either. I guess all I can hope for at this juncture is that it gives my partners added stimulation. 2. Relating to this thread. I'll bet it's cost me a good inch or two on the old ruler.

How should I handle this? The short answer: communication, respect, honesty. Talk to her about the experiences you had, how they made you feel and what you hope for. At the same time, respect her limits and don't push. If you try to get her to move more quickly than she is willing, or do things she isn't comfortable with, it will not end well. So, listen to her as well... find out what she thought and felt about these experiences. Encourage her to be honest. Reassure her in a truthful way. A successful swinging couple needs to have a strong relationship. A key for my wife and I is the unwavering knowledge that no matter who we have sex with and how much we might enjoy that sex, we're always going home to each other at the end of the night. She is the woman I want to spend my life with. Simple, and as complicated, as that.

You find it exciting to imagine that hot woman in some nice clothes.

Welcome BriBriMaddy. This appears to be your first post and while it wasn't that long ago seeing it pop up brought back some memories. Thanks for the reinforcement. We have definitely figured out what we are looking for now. She has officially decided she likes the ladies and I have officially decided that I like that she likes the ladies. We are looking for couples to meet up with and get to know before playing. Unfortunately life got in the way with getting our toys moved from DC to Florida (RV and sailboat) but we are starting to get back into it. Welcome to the site if you are new and if not welcome to the club of former lurkers.

Different reasons, but my wife has more anal with other guys than me. We do what we enjoy.

Yea some type of connection or feelings are inevitable with going back to the same partner. As long as both my wife and the guy continue to respect me as the husband I don't see an issue with it. We have been communicating through each step and I think that will go a long way