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Well, the first piece of advice is that you should break up your posts into paragraphs - that would make it much easier to read. Now onto the problems *you* created. In the heat of the moment, you broke the rules you and your wife jointly agreed on. Maybe it was a consensual thing, maybe not. Doesn't matter. You broke the rule. That's a rookie mistake. Now you are going to pay for it. Your wife was surprised. She is having a bad reaction. SHE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PLAYER IN THIS SCENARIO. You keep coming up with statements like, "it was a big part of why i was interested in the lifestyle." It no longer matters what you want, the rules were broken - now you have to come up with new rules. Respect your wife! If all she wants to do in the near future is soft-swap or same-room, that's the way it should be. It's possible that in the future, after she begins to trust you in swapping situations, that she may move forward. Or maybe not. Accept your wife's decision. Best of luck.

I'm with padoc on this. I'm seeing red flags popping up all over the place on this one. We're missing some details here, but it sure as heck sounds like your wife is cheating on you. Even if you're in the lifestyle, you can still cheat. She is. Further, your friend J is saying he won't tell his wife and the other guys won't tell theirs. Guess what? That means they're cheating on their wives too. If they're willing to lie to their own wives, who won't they lie to? This guy isn't your friend, and neither are the other guys. They're cheating on their wives, your wife is cheating on you, and has kept you in the dark. You don't want to shut down all facets? Well, you've got two choices here. Either you allow yourself to continue to be lied to and cheated on, and 'enjoy' this somehow, or you confront your wife and maybe, just maybe get your marriage back on an even keel where you are open and honest with each other. Swinging REQUIRES great, honest communication. You don't have that. Nevermind that this group of 8 couples is seriously dysfunctional and not to be trusted. If ever you do get back to swinging, it sure as hell better not be with this group. They will just backstab you again. This isn't just a mess. It's far, far worse than that. Good luck.

...your neighbor replaces the fence with a much taller one. ...you don't have any pictures of your last vacation posted online.

I bet that the sex addition anonymous meetings are a fun time!

Right now it's just MFM with no expectation of more. If that comes we discuss. But for not it's not in the cards

I got the impression that the single man asked the couple to be exclusive, but I did not get the impression that the couple agreed. One of the key advantages of the lifestyle over vanilla dating is that the lifestyle lacks exclusivity. At a house party, I can play with one woman and, nature permitting, play with other women right in front of her at the same party. We’ve fixed up playmates with other playmates. It is a boinking festival without regrets. The single male you met is way off track. We would dump him.

Agree and we've reached much the same arrangements. We and the couples who we play with all have kids, busy lives, demanding jobs. Before we settled on just our couples, we would play together on weekends maybe three times a month at most. Now we play more during the week, two or three times each, than on weekends. During the week we will have a twosome or threesome in every combination whenever the desire and situation can be arranged. When one of us is out-of-town it's no longer an impediment, it's an opportunity. Same for the other couples. We even have the babysitting rotation worked out, two fuck while the third watches the kids. We still love the all-in weekend couples' swaps where the kids are with grandparents or sitter, and we orgy, but we appreciate the freedom that playing apart gives us.

You find it exciting to imagine that hot woman in some nice clothes.

Your wife sticks to the leather sofa.

... you don't have any clothes on.

My husband loves to eat my pussy while another man is fucking me. When the man cums I sit up over his mouth and give him a very wet cream pie. I also like doing that with another woman while a man is fucking her. Deb