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The best and fastest way for your wife to consider swinging is to tell her that you love her, make her feel very secure in your marriage, and let her know that swinging will be done her way - she can do whatever she wants and you will only do what she feels comfortable with. Let her decide what is fun and proper, and you just be happy for her and glad that the adventure has begun. She needs to know that swinging does not have to be equal, she can play with a man and you watch (or maybe not), you do not need to have another woman. Once you get her started, she will open up to other things. Do not push her and do not criticize what she does or who she does it with, just enjoy the journey.

Some swinger couples are not interested in soft swap. In our experience, these are the really hard core folks. We're a full swap couple who are not adverse at all to soft swap situations. To us, the goal of sex is giving and receiving pleasure and orgasms. We like orgasms and we like to share them with friends. Where they happen is not nearly as important (penetration) as simply having them and sharing them. Many soft swap couples, as we were initially, ultimately and almost effortlessly slip into full swap as their comfort level and confidence increases. Our advice: Go on the cruise. If you meet a couple or couples to whom you're both attracted, be up front about your preference. I'll bet you'll have a good trip.

We just posted this on another thread for someone who was asking about going on a swingers cruise ... it’s probably applicable to you as well. Our advice -- and you'll read it over and over on this board if you're here enough -- is to go with NO expectations other than to have a hot time together. If you wind up playing with another couple, that's great. But even if you don't, you can still have an incredibly sexy time with just the two of you, whether that means making out and groping each other on the dance floor, or watching other couples having sex, or putting on your own show in a playroom. We went to a club three times and a house party three times before we ever hooked up with anybody else on our seventh trip ... but on every one of those first six visits, we at least got a playroom to ourselves and had an incredible time with the lights low and the music thumping, knowing that people were walking by right outside the door (probably) wondering who was in that room and just what they were doing in there. So it's absolutely NOT necessary to swing to have a great experience at a swingers' event!

We’ve met hundreds....maybe thousands of people in the lifestyle over the years. Most by association....same event or party. Many chatting...texting...some we meet....some we didn’t. Some we’ve become long term friends with.....some FWB. and a smaller circle we’ve known, mixed with, socialized with and played with. We never had been asked let alone announced our ethnicity, political views, religion etc. There have been requests for HWP, smoker/non smoker, drinker/non drinker, soft/hard swap etc etc. We were never shopping for an experience.....and we’ve enjoyed many great times. We like the connection at the moment....circumstances of the meet. We greatly enjoy the Christmas gift experience....never knowing what you got....until you open the gift...... Attitude....personality....life experiences seem to define each person and couple we meet. Accents, skin tone are the spice of life.

Thanks for the replies. We really didn’t have any ideas of how this would go but think she just wants to take it slow and ease into it. I’m all in with whatever she decides but told her we needed to figure out beforehand. I mentioned that if she wants to try it she can book the trip I don’t want her to feel like I’m pushing her into it.

Personally my safety radar is pinging away.....cut ties. All of them. For your wife’s safety. From what you are saying I’m sensing some bottled up anger and resentment. It is not normal to pursue someone you do not know....to vent your frustrations. Insure he has none of your contact or personal information. Tell him you are having second thoughts. Wish him well. Block him if you have to. Drop from the app/group if needed and start new somewhere else with a new email and contact name.

GoldCoCouple is dead on. RUN! I'd want to ask myself and I don't mean to be selfish but "What's in this for you or your wife?" The experiences you're exploring are really for the tow of you to enjoy. It's like a vacation. why would you purposely go to a sub standard hotel that didn't have any of the amenities you were looking for? i suspect the other man thinks that over time he'll get your wife to meet him maybe out of pity, concern, the need to nurture another human, but in the end what's in it for you two? AND how pathetic is it of him to think that his marital problems can be solved with your wife. There are so many great people in the world and the swinging community don't expend your energy on those that don't have anything to give in return.

Run...fast! Even if what he said is 100% true (which I highly doubt), they are headed for divorce. You don't want to be anywhere near that and I wouldn't want to be near someone who just wants to vent and complain. It was nice meeting him, but have a good life and goodbye.

If I can chime in here as the male half of the couple....... Unfortunately, until we became actively involved in the LS, my wife and I did not realize that my penis was above average in both length and girth (7.5 inches and thick). Previously, during sex, we used to try different positions as, she being fairly petite, used to find that in certain positions I had a tendency to "bottom out" in her and it would become uncomfortable for her. Thus, I was rarely able to go the proverbial "balls deep" with her. She enjoyed the length, but just could not take all the length all the time. Since becoming active in the LS she has been able to really enjoy sex a bit more comfortably in all positions as all of the men she has played with were shorter than. As indicated, she really has no issue with the girth and rather enjoys a thick cock. Myself, I have also played with ladies that have no issue with taking my full length. However, she is also along the adage that she will manage with any cock and it is not the size that matters, but how it is used.