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Would have been better if you could have said 'I know, I've been encouraging it'...

If there is any hope of it going further you have to respect her decision now with no expectation to go further. There is no need to dive in faster your wife is ready for.

At one point years ago, my wife Mary and I decided to have a murder mystery party at our house. I looked at all the ones that were commercially available, and they all seem to end with plausible reasons for any of the participants to be the murderer. That’s boring to me. So, we wrote our own. Five of our friends were invited to be ‘suspects,’ and we had clues scattered around the house (a newspaper article said one of the guys had just been picked up on embezzlement charges, for example,) and we had certain scenes planned for specific times. They were in various parts of the house, from the living room to the bedroom, to the kitchen and the garden. One of the subplots was that Mary was having an affair with our interior decorator. Whether a guest was able to see these scenes depended, of course, on whether they happened to be in the right place at the right time. At the agreed on moment, I was poisoned in the living room, Mary was found dead in the guest bedroom of a gunshot wound. A naive young lady got to me when I was out in the garden and told me very seriously, “Adam, I think Mary’s having an affair!” She was quite serious about it, and she still didn’t quite believe it was a hoax until we all gathered afterward, took the vote, explained the various subplots and determined the winner. How shocked she would have been to find out that just a few years later Mary became a hotwife! Oh, and another thing - - just to top it off, of course the interior decorator was gay. He even propositioned me once!

It's funny if you think about it... "I'm fine with you having wild, crazy, hot sex with my wife, but I'm not comfortable telling you about my Klingon costume." I mean, it makes sense but it's funny.

My wife was also extremely turned on the first time she had sex with our best male friend. It was actually a spontaneous and totally unplanned swap with my wife, me, our best friend, and his wife. For a long time after that, he and my wife got together many afternoons, with all our approval. My wife was not working and he was working nights so the two of them had a lot of time to play while their kids our out kids were at school. That was a great time. When I was at work, I was very turned on knowing the two of them were playing.

I think the same thing happened with Sargent Shriver, who set up the Peace Corps. His wife, Eunice Shriver, supported him in his 'new' relationship when she visited him at the custodial facility.

I would like to try DP. I almost tried DVP. I was “in” a friend, another man asked if we wanted to try DVP. I got so turned on by the idea that I came immediately.

Swinging geek . . . Evangelicals are some of the randiest people out there, and geeks can always go play by theirselves.

You have to have the conversation with the clothes on... just sit down and talk about it.. if you can't communicate about it, you aren't ready

@SjBlueBirds Come back!!! Or, maybe we should go back there as one of us is from a metro great lakes City and the other rural.

Swingers like freedom....fun....limited inhibitions. We like open discussion, honest communication.....honesty....we like to trust. We love our freedom to express.

We do our safe sex evaluations early in the friendship. If we feel there is any possibility of a problem, be it pregnancy or stds, we don't play with that couple. That's probably why we've only played with five couples in 24 years. In the past, when we've decided a couple was within our "safety envelope" we've played with no restrictions. Mrs. Alura and I were talking about this subject recently. "When I take a guy's cock into my mouth," she said, "I expect that I'll be drinking his cum shortly. He doesn't always cum in my mouth, but I always expect it. Same thing with my pussy. If I didn't feel safe with him, I wouldn't be in bed with him." And I wouldn't be in bed with his wife. Again, that's how we've done it in the past. How we approach this issue in the future will depend entirely on the couple we're approaching it with.