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This is the wife half asking this question. Am I correct in the definition of a poly in the fact that it means you believe you can love more than one person at the same time? If so, I am a little confused on how that can be. I guess I always felt that if you are truly in love your heart and soul is to that one person. How can you love more than one person at once and still feel that it is really love to both or either person? Please don’t take my question as a negative one, I am just very curious and would love to learn about how it works. I have only recently learned or heard about the lifestyle of polyamores, so I am intrigued and curious to learn a bit more on it. Also how then do you feel that you have met your soulmate, or do you believe there is no such thing or even possibly more than one soulmate for you? Thank you for any replies that may help me to understand this better.

Hope this doesn't sound choppy not really sure how to word my thread right ..so here goes. hubby and i went to a bar recently with another couple. We rode together and once we got into the parking lot and out of the car. The wife of the other couple grabbed my hubbys hand and proceeded to walk to the bar hand in hand with him. Now we have known this couple for a while and consider them friends and well as more. However, this one simple gesture still seemed to "irk" me and yes that nasty green-eyed monster popped out his ugly head. My hubby feels that kissing is too personal, yet i feel it is just another great part of sex. So I was really thrown by the g.e. monster on hand holding! Of course once we got to the door, they stopped holding hands and we proceeded to enjoy the night and I have talked with hubby and we have decided to add that to our rules. But since this is the first time this has ever come up with us I am curious on if other couples have other "rules" on specific touching or otherwise they consider should be kept between themselves.

As I've stated in previous threads, my wife and I are very new to the lifestyle. We are only really interested in hotwife MFM type encounters and have at 2 threesomes so far with one guy. We are talking to others but have yet to act on them. The question my wife has is how many play partners do most of you keep around at a given time? Do you try and limit it to a certain few? Or just go with the flow as it comes? She loves talking and getting to know the potential matches, but also does not want to set herself up to juggle too many guys and be overwhelmed trying to keep up. Just curious how everyone else does it. Thanks!

We have always played with couples, but we find it difficult to find matches. We were thinking of playing with a single male. I (the husband) want to be involved in the play, also. Is that typical?

Thank you for asking. It's a very fair question.

Excellent response! You were very lucky to find an attentive single guy who accepted and played within your parameters. I hope you kept his number, this kind of single guy is not easy to find. @NJBM, have you considered the male half of one of the couples with whom you've played? Mrs Doc has "loaned" me out to friends who wanted a 3-some and we have occasionally "borrowed" a husband for ours. It has worked well for us, we're familiar with the husbands and there are no unpleasant surprises and, the guys (there have been 3) know what Mrs Doc likes and they understand that the 3-some is primarily about her.

Great copy & paste from wiki. Would love to see you bring something of your own mind to the table rather than questions, labels, judgements and, in this case of plagiarism, other people’s thoughts.

This response is being constructed by both Mr and Mrs. as we type it in. When we first started in the LS the Mrs. was not interested in an MFM, never had even thought about it. In fact she only wanted some soft play with others males because she was more interested in seeing me with another woman. Honestly, I was great with that situation because I honestly was not sure I was ready to or wanted to see her going full on with another guy. I know, I know it was a selfish position on my part but that was the honest truth and we always tell each other the truth. Then the time came when she had the desire to try an MFM and asked to set one up. I did exactally that after we had a lengthy discussion about what the situation could turn into, what both our boundries would be, what would be ok or not ok for us both and with the understanding that I was not sure how I would feel once things got started. She agreed that if for any reason at anytime during any play with the other guy If I was not comfortable with things she would gladly stop. This was the same agreement we had when she was to first see me with another woman. She found a guy she was interested in having me share her with and I set it up for a specific night. Also, neither one of us wanted me to not be involved, for us, my involvement was a necessary part of what she and I both wanted. The night came, the guy came over, things started to happen in our hot tub which then led to the bedroom and the night and play continued on for a decent abount of time through the night. I'll tell you the honest truth, at the end of that night I was so dumbfounded and beside my self trying to understand one simple thingsthat I NEVER expected to feel, I could not understand why I was so incredibly turned on at watching my wife interact with the other guy. I did not feel jealousy in any way, what I felt was total ecstasy. The other guy and I focused on her completely, taking turns and doing various positions where he and I were both involved in some way with her at the same time. Also, we agreed that she would not hold back in anyway with anything she did with the other guy, something we have seen with other couples. He and I made sure to please her as much and as many times possible and she in return made sure he and I both received a fair amount of he attention and pleasure. It was fantastic and she and I both loved every second of it. Its our feeling that yes, I be involved during an MFM where I am sharing her with another guy. Since that first time, there have even be occasions in other MFM's where I chose to step back briefly simply to enjoy watching the two of them, then rejoin in the fun. This is MY choice as I find it very erotic to watch her with the other guy. Since that first MFM we had I have always said to her that its like watching your favorite porn star in action but being lucky to actually be married to her. I would not ever want an FMF nor would she ever want and MFM where we are both not fully involved. For us, thats the main turn on of the situation. Everyone is different and there is no right or wrong here. Its all based on the two of you and what your comfort level is, what turn you both on, what you both talk about before hand and agree on before things happen. Trying to talk through all possible situations and how you each would handle them if during the time if play were to happen. What your boundries are, what is and is not acceptable to you both. Try to think of all possible scenarios of what "could" happen and how you both would handle it so as not to have an awkward "ah shit" moment that you have to try and work out later between the two of you. So, our view on this issue is yes, be totally involved in the activities unless you chose to step back for a moment to observe. Share in the experience together and most importantly always, always communicate and talk about as many scenarios as possible and how you would each feel before you find yourself in the situation. Communication is key. Sorry for the short novel of an answer, as I said, we are both answering this question together from both our perspectives. Good luck to you both and we wish you the very best.

We each have limits and we both know what they are. In our case, I can't imagine anything that Mrs Doc would ask of me sexually that I wouldn't try once or twice to please her. The same applies to her. This is our recreation and fun and in the end, it's just sex with friends.

My original post wasn’t about quality or quantity , it was about excitement of a new experience. I have read on here how some women glaze over when they undress a new partner. What is hidden, what are they go to look like without clothes. How will they touch me. How wil they smell, hopefully a pleasant smell. How will the taste. Are they a good kisser. Will they be tender or aggressive in a nice way. How will they taste or move. Like everything in life there is only one first time.

I would say it's a question of seeing love not as a single token that may only be given to one person, but as a limitless well... you can't run out of love, because the more you love, the more love you have. We've been socialized to see romantic love as an absolute and limited thing. That, as you say, you can only love one person with all your heart and soul. That there is only one True Love somewhere out there for you... a soulmate. For some people, perhaps that is true and is what they need. In general, however, humans are capable of loving more than one romantic partner throughout their lifetimes. A romantic relationship ends with one partner, you eventually find love with another. Having loved before doesn't diminish your ability to love your new partner. In fact, it may enhance it because, having loved, you understand love better. Polyamory embraces the idea that, for some, you don't have to lose the first partner to find love with another. Likewise, loving one does not diminish your ability to love others. The more you love, the better you understand what it is to love, the more love you have to give. Your love, your heart, your soul, grows with each love to embrace all loves.

Part of the fun of having sex with other people is exploring what they like, and how they like it. My wife and I are pretty much open to anything, but we are extremely sensitive to what others like and don't like. We like the variety, even if it's something we wouldn't do every day. Aggressiveness is one of those things. My wife isn't particularly aggressive, but does it for one guy whose wife thinks it's "sick." I've been on both sides of it with different women; it's just fun seeing how they get off, even if ass-slapping isn't my thing.

Done that with one couple, but involved us watching them fuck and being watched as well.

Actually I've found the opposite. There are outliers, to be sure, but most mature adults are quite capable of recognizing such situation and dealing with them appropriately. I'm sorry your experience has apparently been different, Machiavel.

It's a good idea, especially if you are getting frustrated with the work that goes into couple swapping. Just be aware that it's the exact opposite of looking for a couple. Advertise for a single guy and you will be flooded quickly. The tough part is weeding out the fakes and flakes and finding the gem in the pile.

Yea we are not exclusive to anyone. That would set up the possibility of more feelings

True, however it can be a fine line that separates the two though and if not extremely careful easy to go from one to the other.

Yes, my wife loves me. I trust that to my death. She can have a connection with someone that isn't love while still not just having a one night stand

Shortly after my wife and I started exploring swinging, a man said to me - "If I can watch my wife suck another man's dick, I can talk to her about anything." As we were both watching her do just that, I believed him. It has been my experience that, in order for a couple to be successful swingers, you need to be able to speak, openly and honestly, about anything. You need to trust her and she needs to trust you, completely. So, that is my suggestion, even more to you in your society than to another... show her she can trust completely. Show her you trust her completely. Show her that you can talk to her about anything... your fears, your concerns, your deepest most hidden desires. Show her that she can share the same with you... without fear of judgement or punishment. Trust each other completely. Communicate openly and honestly. Then, you can begin to explore swinging.

First time was in a 4some with my wife at a swing club. We had settled into a room and were playing with ourselves. Then an attractive older woman knocked on the door and asked to join. Soon as we said yes she dived right between my wife's legs and started eating her out. Which was an indescribably hot first for us as well. After she made my wife cum she started going down on me and went straight to fingering my ass while she blew me. I murmured to her that I bet she's great with a strap-on which lit her up with a devious grin. Then her husband joined as well, which to be honest we never realized we were agreeing to a package deal. He was a tall built prison guard. Things progressed to an outright full swap with us fucking each other's wives. In between rounds there was a little chit chat where he mentioned they were open-minded. When the action heated back up again I was having an internal debate about whether I should go for it and make a move on the husband. His wife was blowing him and I just went for it. Started licking and sucking his cock with her. It felt so strange having that warm hard yet soft cock between my lips. A mixture of what I expected and not. But I was really enjoying it. I mentioned to her that it was my first time and she smiled and fed my his cock. He said it was his first time as well. My wife watched and made out with him as I blew him. His wife got behind me and stuck some fingers up my ass then held her hand against herself and mimed fucking me, clearly enjoying this like it had been a long fantasy of hers. He then said he wanted to fuck my wife again so I slipped a condom on him and guided his cock into my wife as she lowered herself onto him. Then put a condom on myself and fucked his wife. We both came and collapsed in a heap of bodies. Not long after another girl asked to join! We started playing with her but not long after her girlfriend came in and scolded her for leaving her to the creepy single guys out there, which ended that session as quickly as it started. But hey, technically a 5some? We exchanged numbers with the couple at the end of the night but never met up with them again. My wife is only really interested in one night stands in the swinging world. After I felt, I don't know, some sort of pride in myself for finally trying it. Also wondered why I waited so long(mid 20s). Now 15 or so years later have only sucked three other cocks, and been fucked by a nice thick BBC. We don't swing often. Once every few years sorta deal. We have fun with strap-ons and realistic dildos on odd occasion. But I'm finding at around the 5 year mark I just have a need for another cock. I become a bit obsessed with it and just need to vent that energy. Which is right about now... Wife also wants to try a gang bang, so I'm sure we can work that out as a two birds one stone situation. Looking forward to that next experience. We're going to be visiting family in Ohio in July but staying in an airbnb for the week. May well happen there.

Here are a few other similar nuggets: “Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.” ― Mark Twain "Whoever is trying to bring you down is already below you."

Tell your husband the truth. When we try to "soften the blow" we risk not getting our message understood. My best to you both, but not the strange lady.

Prior to being with our first couple my husband would want to be near his own cum. We never discussed it, he would never give me oral after he came in me. He never deep kissed after a blow job. Like I said we never talked about it. On my first night with the couple we met the husband never had that problem. I enjoyed the extra treat with him without worrying about cleaning myself. Our new friend didn't even hesitate with his wife after my husband was with her. We just did our first 3some with him and I had my first dp and I know there was dripping onto my husband. He didn't make a big deal but did go and wash after.

When someone wants to play with my heart instead of just my naughty bits...........................................