Leaderboard

Maybe it was good that our entree was in separate rooms. I enjoyed that my first time with another man was romantic. I don’t want to feel that the man I am doing the most intimate things with is using me. I want the connection. I don’t remember the specific things that made that first night so romantic. Location, moonlight, soft touches and possibly words. I do know the romance was not there in front of my husband and his wife. The atmosphere changed, the sex changed. I told my husband that I enjoyed the romance, I told him I felt like I was being made love to. Not being in love but making love. He was happy for me and appreciated that our new friend respected me privately. We have met this couple again and again. There is a great relationship we share. My husband knows I am safe whether we are in the same room or different rooms.

I don’t see anywhere in the OP where the wife is insisting on sleeping with other people. So it seems to me advice on getting a divorce from someone who plans on never marrying is off base. The comment on never being afaid of losing any woman feels like little value is placed on the individual or the relationship. Different strokes for different folks but at least you know yourself well enough and are upfront on your limitations. To the OP welcome and lots of good advice here. Encourage your wife to read too, continue talking, enjoy the fantasy.

Adam is right. There are all kinds of swingers at clubs but most are very understanding about other peoples sexual limits. When you meet a couple, state those limits up front, usually about the time the conversation starts to turn sexual and just as hands start to roam. If the other couple wants more than what you're willing to do, that gives them (and you)the opportunity to move on and find what you all want for that evening. We started at clubs and over about a year evolved from watching to touching to soft swap and then eventually just eased into full swap. It was, by the time it happened, an entirely natural culmination of our progression. For you, what you do from here should be about what you and your wife want to experience and what you're willing to share with others. You don't have to take one step more than you want to with anybody. Lots of new couples a wary of swingers clubs because they are concerned about others expectations of them because they are at a club. You owe no one nothing other than adult behavior and the price of admission to the club and civility. On our 2nd or 3rd visit to a club in Maryland, we passed an open door where a nice looking couple was playing with a sybian. Both were naked and aroused. Mrs Doc had wanted to try one and the couple invited us in to share the toy and more. While I were very tempted, I could tell my wife was apprehensive so I thanked them and we moved on to a room just for us. What we had seen in that room and the alternative possibilities fueled a lot of conversation (and good sex) with us for weeks. We saw that couple again about 6 months later. Turned out he flew C-5's from Dover AFB. We soft swapped with them a couple of times and had about decided that they would be our 1st full swap experience. Unfortunately, he was transferred overseas and we lost track of them. 15 years later, we remember them and those early experiences fondly. If you stay within your comfort zone, so will you.

They are all 'soft-swing' clubs. As you are meeting couples at the club, simply let them know you have a limit. (I assume that you mean no PIV, but oral is okay; that's the 'classic' definition of soft-swing. If that's not it just tell your prospective partners before you begin engaging.) You may have some couples that say, 'no thanks.' They'd rather wait for full-swap. That's okay, it's their loss, isn't it?

It does - thank you. That’s a great way of it working in together for both of you!

Hello Jeff, this is the husband typing the response to your questions with the Mrs sitting here next to telling me what her answers are. Yes, her orgasms in swinging situations can be and are often more intense then when it’s just her and I. The reason for this is due to the heightened level of eroticism and sensuality. Some situations are much more erotic then others so it’s not in all cases. The same goes for me. The hotter the situation, the more erotic things are, the more everyone’s level of eroticism is heightened. The Mrs. says the main reason for very intense orgasms in those situations has a great deal to do with the fact that I am there with her sharing in her experience and me being very turned on by watching her with another getting pleased and pleasing them, huge turn on for me which she feeds off of which makes things so much hotter and intense for her and/or me. For us, it’s all about us both sharing in each experience together, enjoying every part of it together and being very turnd on watching each other. Hope that helps answer your questions.

This is the wife replying. I am a multi-orgasmic person during sex to start with. However, there have been times when my husband and I are having an MFM and my husband maybe steps back and decides to watch me and the other male for a bit that I have had multiple orgasms that were very intense due to the heightened sexual intensity at the moment knowing my husband was enjoying watching me being pleased and pleasing him and another man at the same time. Occasionally my orgasms have been a bit more intense during an MFM than sometimes when it's just my husband and myself. There was one time we were roll playing, my husband and I with a vibrator, about a SM I had the hots for and the sex between my husband and I at that moment was so intense, plus the vibrator that it made me gush. It was the very first time I ever gushed. A lot of husbands would have taken offense to that occurring during a roll play situation involving another man, but not my husband. It made him so much more turned on knowing that our roll play about this SM was making me so horny and turned on that it made my body do something it had never done before. The intensity of my orgasms with my husband are always very intense, but at times when he is sharing me with another man they can be even more powerful. Not because the other man is doing a better job, but because I know how turned on my husband is watching me and hearing me getting pleased by another man and me pleasing the other man. For us watching each other and seeing and hearing each other getting pleased by someone else and pleasing someone else is what intensifies our orgasms during that situation.

Don’t know if he enjoyed watching me being used, I certainly felt I was. He had no idea at the time that the night before was romantic. It was the first time he saw me with anyone. I allowed myself to be fucked. I allowed my mouth to be used instead of me using my mouth to pleasure. I allowed a woman to touch me, something very weird for me. I can’t say I was excited watching my husband having sex. As time went by we both have enjoyed being in the same room even though I enjoy separate rooms more. They dynamic is certainly different.

Beauty is only skin deep...sexy is a combination of personality, intelligence, and confidence. We prefer sexy.

>>>Seems like some women aren’t trained My wife decided when she got to college - she was still a virgin - that she needed to train herself for sex. Luckily, she was assigned to a single room. She read up on the subject, particularly about women's anatomy, and using her fingers and various accouterments, including vegetables of the proper shape, she learned how to have an orgasm. She says that she quickly learned her body and her reactions and became orgasmic and then multi-orgasmic. According to her, she had an orgasm the first time she had sex with a man during her senior year.

That’s like sexual assault by trickery. Dishonest and deceitful, throw their arse out and then some!

I am happy that Judy39 located that year 2016 "too picky" discussion and posted a link to it. This same discussion came to mind when I read your story. You have a perfect right to be picky. I have looked up the discussion you started here last year about the defensive reactions that you receive from your boyfriend. I believe your fear of "coming across as arrogant" is reflecting the fact that you continue to fear his defensive reactions.

Looking at profiles is completely different than interacting with someone in real life. You will probably find that someone's personality, intelligence, sense of humor, look in their eye, way they dance etc, etc. make them much more attractive than simply seeing an online photo. I am amazed at some of the terrible pictures people display. Take them with a grain of salt. I believe you can be too picky. You are not looking for a spouse. You're looking to try something different and have fun. I've played with some men who initially I thought, "no." When we started having sex it was amazing!! I am so glad I took the chance and will always remember the experience as being crazy hot! I have also played with people who I thought were Adonis and it was really lacking. You just can't know if there is chemistry until you are at least meeting in person. Sometimes you don't know until you're starting to play.