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You need to do whatever makes you two secure and happy. That includes managing information. Eventually adult children tend to figure things out. What matters to children, young or old, is the security they have flowing from the integrity of their parents' relationship. In a word, they sense the love their parents have for each other. Whether your kids are 3 or 30, you are their strongest role models one generation ahead. It is not, repeat not, the lifestyle or the knowledge that mom and dad swing that will affect them. What will affect them is how they see that in the context of your relationship with each other. They know that adults have sex. They have sex. Like all kids, they have difficulty processing the idea of their parents having sex (except that one time, of course, that brought them into existence) unless conversations about sex and sexuality have been part of their growing up. And that is fairly rare. FWIW our adult daughter knows that our cruises are lifestyle cruises. (We hew to the "what happened on the boat stays on the boat" rule.) She knows that some of our friends are special friends, she knows that we are naked in the hot tub with them when they come to visit. And so on. While she has zero interest in the LS, she is strongly reassured that mom and dad are still in love and very happy. Indeed, she will remark "would you guys get a room!" when we hug and kiss in front of her. We point out that we own our home, we all laugh and move on with the conversation. Bottom line, you have to decide how to manage the information, and for whom you are trying to control the information.

This is a normal common concern many couples and singles, men and women....all go through when living an alternative Life Style. Those who are gay, bi, nudists, trans, swingers, poly, kink the list goes on and on. Any Extracurricular activity or event that is not immediately shared by family, friends or society. We do understand the “need” to keep private. And sometimes the length and depth people will go through to do this. Sometimes it is rather entertaining and always, months, years later the basis of many great stories at LS gatherings. Fake names, physical disguises, travel (OMG LOL) it is only limited by each individual’s imagination. It becomes so complicated........ The one constant....the more you are in this lifestyle....the more experiences you have.....more events you attend....the more comfortable and relaxed you become that your guard will lower. The more complex your “story” is the harder it will be to maintain and keep straight. You will eventually have those in the lifestyle you will develop friendships with, see socially or cross paths with in your vanilla life, work life, family and friends. Our experience and what we share with newbies....KISS. Keep It Stupid Simple. First, you do not need to explain your activities. No different then explaining or talking about your activities in a vanilla lifestyle. Your going on a date night. Meeting friends. An evening out. Attending a party at a new friends house etc etc. Do have a go to story. Ours that we share “we met at a mutual friends BBQ (party, event)”. For family and vanilla friends that have the need to ask “Who is that?” or “Where did you meet them?” Do not create the mystery or curiosity by being elusive or not being able to keep your “story” straight. Do talk about, when asked what you did last night or weekend. Just keep it general and vanilla. Easy to talk in general about regardless of either one of you have a conversation with who ever. Went to a BBQ Went to a club, music etc Went to a new friends house. Went on vacation to..... For those few that press.....we went to a hotel so we could have some privacy. We needed a night out together. It is our time to relive our youth. You get the idea here. Keep it so it makes sense with what the two of you might normally do, with a small provocative hint....to shut off the curiosity. KISS

What I’m grasping is there is a poster that has a differing opinion than yours so you feel it’s ok to say that person has some sort of phobia. Not to be outdone by your first insult, you have to piggyback racism in there too. It’s actually pretty disgusting that you feel the need to attack people when they have opinions that differ from yours. Variety is the spice of life. If all people were the same it would be a very boring world we live in. You may like cherry where somebody else likes lemon, that doesn’t make that person a racist fructophobic, just means their likes differ from yours.

Couldn’t disagree more. I could tell you a thousand times that I have no desire to eat spinach, doesn’t mean I’m scared of spinach, just not something I want to put in my mouth. Does the spinach want me to eat it? Who knows, not my cup of tea so who cares? And what’s your problem with black people? When did a man not wanting to have another mans dick in his face turn into racism?

You received numerous answers, all telling you the same thing. Why ask a question again that’s been already answered?

I consider myself fairly bisexual in that I am open to a relationship with either a man or a woman. I think that it is more difficult for out bi men to meet women open to their orientation, however. Not sure where I would fall on the Kinsey scale, though!

Thank you everyone for the feedback on this. Maybe I worry too much. I could be a bit apprehensive with starting the life style change and over thinking this. I do need to. KISS! My sister and her husband were in the lifestyle many moons ago. (10 15 years or so ago). With young children. They had no discretion at all. They lived in our very small town. I felt so bad for their children everyone knew even the kids. It was bad to the point her kids were being neglected. Sister was even bringing her "friends" to family diners, Christmas, Thanksgiving ECT. Near the end sister was known to be giving out blow jobs in the backroom of the local bar and finally her and her friends were not welcome in any bar. Their marriage ended and they moved away. I understand this is not the"normal" swinger behavior but it sure did affect her children and mine. Not so much in the free love lifestyle but in the total lack of discretion and responsibilities of protecting the family. By no means are my adult children (30 and 32) prudes. Just protective of their out going mother who in their words talks to random strangers all the time. Lol Thanks I need to stop obsessing and keep it simple.

That's what we would do (and did when we still had one at home). We just say we have plans to go out for the night, go to dinner, have a few drinks, just spend some time away from the house. Offer up those generalities (which also are true), and you shouldn't get many if any questions in return. If they aren't content with that and want to know what restaurant, what bar, etc. then they are being too nosy in my opinion. I also agree with Alura, be prepared for them to find out sooner or later, or at the very least, develop some strong suspicions. What they do with that information just sort of depends on the individuals involved and what the family dynamic is like. Most likely is nothing said directly, but plenty of private eye rolls and shakes of the head at the crazy notion you all are still having sexy at your advanced age If they are the type to want to talk about it, then just have thought through that one and be prepared for it and know where your limits are on that conversation.

My apologies. Must’ve been that other tall, handsome, buff, rich guy with a harem of barely legal girlfriends on here. There’s so many I get them mixed up.

I thought this topic came up a little while ago and you said your first 3some was MMM. Maybe I have you confused with somebody else.

We have played with friends and so far it has worked out well. Many have told me not to on this forum. Within our group there are those that play with family, and yes in-laws included. It looks like all is well with those involved. Those who immediately say don’t do it don’t know the people involved. It is a head thing and what one person accepts is not what the next does. The average person would say don’t swing, it only ends bad. This forum proves that is a fallacy.

You let them walk. At the same time, let them know that you will still be there for them, but there's really nothing you can do to stop them, just let them know that you will still be around.

I'm 5'3". My late wife was 5'9". Early on, we developed the habit of kissing while she stood on the step below me. Once a lady asked Laura why she married such a short man. "I measure a man from the bottom of his heart to the top of his mind," she replied. "Measured that way, he's the tallest man I ever met." My, how I loved that woman!

I posted last year about our issue with our first couple but we've recently experienced this again. We met this really nice couple (unmarried but together for a few years) last year at our favorite resort. We became friends and went on a few trips with them, stayed in their home, etc. We had fun! After a couple trips with them we noticed that this couple seemed to have some relationship issues, made clear after our trip to their home. She confided in us that she thought he wasn't satisfied, and he basically said the same about her. After our last trip with them they had some serious communication issues and she ended up feeling upset that he played with me alone (although she played with my hubby alone first and had no problem with that). She never verbalized her displeasure but the tension was very uncomfortable with my hubby and I. We had discussed separate room play before and I was always ok with my guy playing with her alone but apparently they had not had the same discussion. He liked to text me a lot (we were ok with MF texting as we shared our messages with each other) but it started to get romantic. He wanted me to be his "girlfriend", to be his for the weekend and vise versa. We were not on board with this, getting a feeling that he was forming some kind of emotional attachement to me beyond what chemistry we had for playing. We had to stop seeing them because we were not about to get mixed up in that mess again. I think from now on we will stick to happily married couples who share our relationship priorities.

They are all 'soft-swing' clubs. As you are meeting couples at the club, simply let them know you have a limit. (I assume that you mean no PIV, but oral is okay; that's the 'classic' definition of soft-swing. If that's not it just tell your prospective partners before you begin engaging.) You may have some couples that say, 'no thanks.' They'd rather wait for full-swap. That's okay, it's their loss, isn't it?

Fla-Swing, thanks for the explanations. My wife also often has more intense orgasms in MFMs than she has when it's just the two of us, or even when we're in foursomes. For her, like you, it's the erotic atmosphere. It had to be learned. Our first few MFMs were good, but not the mind-blowing times she's having now. She had to get it into her mind that it's okay to be having sex while I'm just watching; that's a leap. Even when you're doing foursomes, nobody is really watching you, everyone's engaged. Only after we talked it out a few times, and she came to the realization it really is all about her, did she figure out that she can allow herself to just let go.

We enjoy pegging so she routinely fucks me with her strap-on. She takes me missionary because she loves stroking my cock and looking at my balls and leaking penis as she fills my ass. We also have a bi friend that lives to fuck me. She literally sits on my back and masturbates while he watches his cock sliding inside me.

Tex,everytime padoc appears on the bisexual section, do not argue. Just send him a dick photo. That's what he wants.

Yes. That must be so excited.

Well we met for dinner and a couple for drinks - his treat. It was pretty vanilla on the surface. Wee talked about our common interest in nudism and about beaches and resorts we have been to. Several times he commented about people inviting him to play and said he declined "I like my wife thanks". But he said if didn't bother him if they got it on. I got the feeling of you know "the lady doth protest too much." There definitely seemed to be some chemistry - the way he looked at my wife and she at him. Maybe I'm just imagining things. He has commented in the past the she looks great and is very sexy. He loves her pierced nipples. Said he wishes his wife would get her done. He's a great guy and it looks like we will meet his wife in a couple of weeks. She is not really into nudism except at home. WE told him about a resort we just came back from which has bot textile and nude areas. It would be a great low key introduction for her. He is very interested. He is very laid back but definitely a real MAN. (Certainly has a nice looking cock on him as we know from the nude beach. Thicker than mine even soft and looks like it is probably a fair bit longer hard too. Nice big helmet head. She would love it if she would just try it. Like everything else, takes her forever to try something new but once she does she's into it big time. Anal was the same way, now she loves it and pegs me too. We have invited him to our house next week for dinner and my wife surprised me how eager she seemed to do that when I suggested it. I'm going to take it slow and see what happens. If that goes well I am going to suggest he just stays over at our house each week instead of getting a hotel. If nothing else it will be good company. He like the same beers as me and wines. We talked about port and chocolate. We have some ports - and some chocolate pot truffles, maybe if we do some with him she will loosen some of her inhibitions. It would definitely give her an excuse. I would really love to watch her having some great uninhibited sex and not be distracted by being intimately involved myself. Well we shall see where it goes, may something, maybe not. It sure would be a great intro to swinging finally. If nothing happens he is still a cool guy and a good friend. Can't wait to meet his wife too, she sounds cool.

I think I would like to try taking it in the ass. I'm afraid it will hurt though. The thought of a guy unloading deep in my ass is very arousing to me. Especially if my wife were watching!

I just topped for the first time in a while and loved being in charge again.....barebacking another masculine man & creampie'ing him gave me much satisfaction.

I have always found it curious that the position of giving oral sex is considered the more submissive. For me it can be either and usually find it dominant to be sucking. The man being sucked is completely under your control, if you suck at all well. He is the one that loses control and cums to your ministrations. Yes, guys can get aggressive and fuck your mouth, which can be a turn-on or turn-off. If I'm not into being fucked in the mouth at the moment, the guy trying quickly gets the message that the sucker is truly dominant. The most submissive I've ever felt was in a DP with my wife. I was on the bottom in my wife's pussy with her facing me and the other guy in her ass. It felt completely as if he were fucking both of us. I didn't move, yet I could not help cumming quickly from the delicious feeling of him rubbing against my cock, fucking me. Have never tried anal sex with a man because it would have to be the right one whether I was fucking or being fucked. I would like to explore both, the dominant and the submissive. Both are exploring sex and there is so much to explore.

Yeah, you're right about control. And as I've gained more bi experience over the years, being controlled by a masculine, rough man has really fit my sexual likes well. As weird as it may sound, I got tired of mostly dominating women and when I started having sex with men, it was amazing to find a ton of bi men who wanted to continue their dominance with me. I had NO IDEA what I was so submissive. Giving them oral sex, bending over and taking it, riding them etc and just pleasuring a man is without a doubt, my favorite thing sexually.

I love turning the tables and being submissive since I'm usually dominant with women. Having the other guy dominate me during oral, penetration, etc during male-male sex turns me on.

I have been accused of not holding anything in my marriage sacred, and this will probably generate similar responses. To me nothing is to personal to do with someone we are playing with. Things are only personal when me and my wife are doing them. When I do the same exact things with someone else it is having fun with someone that isn't my wife; nothing more or less. I believe that if you are goind to swing you should let it all hang out. That doesn't include not practicing safe sex though. To me if you are going to do anything sexual with someone other than your spouse or comitted partner you should go all the way. I respect the fact that not everyone is like me, but I don't understand it. Bill

Its not a double standard, its a choice. We don't play with couples with bi men nor do we play with bi single guys. Your choices limit your available demographic. Live with it and quit complaining. Nobody is forcing you into a closet, there are couples who might fit your needs, too bad for you that its a way smaller group than swinging couples in general. And don't talk about tolerance. We're a very tolerant couple. We REALLY don't care how many dicks you suck just don't expect to suck mine or me to suck yours. That's our choice, it reflects our standards and what we want and enjoy. We do not begrudge you your fun we're certainly not "bi-shaming" (whatever the hell THAT is)you, we and apparently others are just not interested in getting naked and playing with bi sexual males. This isn't a civil rights issue, it's a simple choice that couple make for themselves and they have a right to do that.