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My wife and I have been in the lifestyle for several years now, though we do a lot of separate swinging. There haven't really been many issues, and we're very much in love and committed to each other. Today, however, I ran into a new situation that I'm having some problems with, and would appreciate any help or advice anyone has. My wife was just with this guy who has a massive dick, like seriously huge. The first time they were together it actually hurt her really bad. The second time though she had an incredible experience and came three times. Now, I'm average in size...about 6.5" long and on the lower end of average in girth. This is the first time she's been with anyone this large, and she described how the sensation of him hitting her deep inside, though initially painful, just sent her over the top with pleasure. Now, one part of me is of course incredibly turned on by this. And part of me is happy for her, I mean, shouldn't that be the idea? And I do trust the situation in all other aspects. However, part of me is extremely insecure and jealous. Realistically, I can't possibly give her that sort of stimulation with what I'm packing. She's never even been multi-orgasmic before today, so...I'm feeling pretty inadequate. My fear is that she's going to enjoy sex with him so much more that our sex life is now going to pale in comparison, and just not be nearly as enjoyable, and as it's a physical issue, there's nothing I can do about it. Does anyone have any experience with this situation? I would really appreciate any feedback, advice, or stories!

Unlike many on here who swap with other couples, my husband and I go to parties or have 3somes. When playing with our guy friend I don’t like what some call double penetration. What are some things others do. The guys are straight. Most times I am having sex with one and do oral to the other. Sometimes my husband just lets me play with our friend. When with a girl friend I find more things I can do even if he is in her.

We can’t be the only ones that find it ridiculous when a couple only has pics of the wife and nothing of the husband except maybe a useless cock pic! We see this far to often on online profiles and can’t help, but think fugly husband using his wife to try to get some. The other one we see all the time is someone listed as a single woman with a profile all about her with pics of just her and one line that says I have a husband and we only play together. No pics or stats of this mystery husband, but he is going to be there to. With both these types of profiles it also always seems to be that mystery guy that contacts us and a lot of the times he is just looking to play alone. Come on guys you are not going find anyone stupid enough to fall for this baiting tactic! If you got nothing going on yourself it doesn’t matter how hot your wife might be you are not going to be getting any. We might be interested in playing with her alone, but you are not going to be getting invited.

As long as there's no stubble on his tongue, I'm ok.

OK, I'll try to answer your questions about why we stopped. The first experiences were during about a four year period when we'd been married three to six or seven years. I don't recall it being called the lifestyle back then. It was referred to as wife swapping and only sometimes, 'swinging'. Except for one, the couples were all friends or acquaintances before any thoughts of playing. I could tell my wife enjoyed the play but she always felt a little guilty the next days. And I also think she felt a little fear of our relationship being harmed. We just hadn't been together long enough. The second time we delved into it, twenty years later, she was more confident and comfortable. But, after a few years she simply lost interest. I just don't thing that sexual adventure and enjoyment was ever as important to her as it is to me.

I'll think you'll find most folks understand 'pace'. I agree, look for a couple. Keep it intimate. Early on we kept some control of the pace by setting up specific situations that helped to keep things slow. Think of foreplay, but not after you're already in bed, foreplay in a broader sense. Date and have fun, be flirtatious, open, sexy and naughty. Dance, go to the beach, take a hike. Flash you partners, skinny dip in nature. That gets us going every time, but doesn't have to lead to sex. At the end of the evening or day if we've had our brain and perv centers tickled that's a good day and we'll wait for the sex for another time if that's what the couple wants. Be playful, this endeavor should be fun. If the other couple isn't ok with that, then they are not a match. Move on. That said swinging for us was and is like a kid in a candy store with $10. It's hard not blow the whole wad as soon as possible.

I miss the pursuit; the feeling like I'm found attractive and desirable by someone not my spouse.

My aren't we quick to judge. A wife that plays well with others is a rare gem. It sounds like the OP is liking where he's at, mostly, but not liking how they got there. Yes a frank conversation and definition of the rules is in order, but a "kicking to the curb" sounds rather harsh especially after they brought him into the fold, seemingly very quickly. To the OP, how long have you been together?

"If you have an especially large endowed than I’d say that in the advertisement because some girls are specifically looking for that." Well, my wife has been with larger men from time to time. But we simply don't take it seriously when guys tell us they are large in their ad or before we play. They often either exaggerate or simply don't understand they are the same relative size most of us are. And you do know how easy it is to photoshop a picture, right? Basically, my wife assumes it will be a 'normal' size until she's holding it and says, "Ooooohh!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Oh, and to add to this. We find a correlation between men who brag about their penis size and their level of being an asshole. We won't play with many of the men who are like this, and from experience my wife knows that the guys who do brag aren't very good lovers - even the few that really do have a big dick.

Mike is intrigued with my past.

It’s often the female half of the relationship who is the real person to start the swing ball going.

I still wrestle with emotions from time to time. Although my husband often gets amazing treatment from me ND another woman, I am often the one gettingNg all of the attention. We are often engaged in MMF and MMMF situations and there is no doubt that I leave the room much more satisfied. If I have two or more really fit or really well hung guys working on me, Ill sometimes catch a hint of what I think is jealousy and I don't know how to feel about it.

Yes. I actively searched for someone with a large cock over the internet so she could have that kind of experience. I felt insecure at first as I watched them knowing that she could never have that kind of feeling with me but I felt secure enough in our relationship that we could have an intimate married relationship and still play with others. She felt the same way and loved me more for letting her have those kind of experiences.