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My husband has encouraged me to have his friend stay over when he travels for business. He asked why would I want to be alone at nights. He doesn’t stay as often as he first did even if we do enjoy our nights together. He is not my lover, he is a very good friend who I have relations with. I also have a girlfriend that stays over. My husband has a woman that he sleeps with on business trips. I am happy he isn’t alone all the time when he’s away.

I wanted to put this out there for newbies. We went to our first last night. Nervous, scared, husband had sweaty palms on the drive there. Was it going to be like a middle school dance? Would anyone even talk to us? Were the popular kids going to ignore us? A little bit about us, married couple 30 plus years. I'm a BBW with some body image issues. Husband can shy. The meet and greet was held at a vanilla bar that had a separate bar upstairs with a live band. The turn out was large. We started mixing and mingling early before the band started. I went from table to table and introduced ourselves. It was wonderful. Everyone was nice and welcoming. Found some interesting people. No one was pushy. Everything I have read, lurked and researched on this board really helped us put ourselves out there. The COOL girls even asked me to dance with them. I felt SO sexy. There were some very beautiful women and men and average people. We had looked up some of the attendees on sls before hand. Let me tell don't let pictures be the whole way to judge couples. I found all were WAY more attractive in person. We did not hook up to play this first time but made some good connections. Emails exchanged already this morning from three different couples. And got invited to a large post Halloween house party. By the time we were ready to leave there was a lot of non vanilla contact and deep kisses all around. Husband could hardly contain his hard on on the drive home after watching me make out with three women and their husband's. I liked watching him kissing too. Luckily this was far enough from our little town we did not feel discretion was compromised. So for being a newbie our first meet and greet was a very good experience. Hope this will help any others having those nervous feelings.

Nothing else like it. Missionary, knees up, lubed up cock watching her really get into it, tits bouncing, cock tugging and knee weakening Orgasms. It’s not a regular part of play but a welcome addition when the mood strikes

Thank you for the answers. That is one more little block of ignorance that is now gone.

There is room for single men in the lifestyle. My wife and I know several. Single men do not generally have an easy path but if you persist and play your cards right, you can have fun.

I'm sorry you see a contrast between the two positions. I don't. Perhaps I can clarify. If you walk into a first date, and proclaim every negative thing about yourself in the interests of being "upfront", you likely will never have a second date. Swinging, to most people who have never been involved in it, would strike as a negative with very likely the vast majority of women. If I were in this person's shoes, I wouldn't bring up swinging on the first date (!). Non-monogamy is not a must have. It's an interest, and something I enjoy. If it never happens, it never happens. I would not feel my relationship with a woman is compromised in any way because she doesn't want to swing. This is radically different than me being attracted to a person whom I presumed from every cue to be a genetic woman, only to find out she is a pre-op transwoman. If I'm looking for a genetic woman, and you're presenting yourself as a genetic woman only to find out when we get to the point of being in bed and you've already given me oral sex, that you are not, you have been deceptive in who you are. You can't contribute to the relationship in the same way, that is something that can't be "if it never happens, it never happens". I don't have a problem with someone being a pre-op transwoman. I do have a problem with them being deceptive about it to the point where we've already had sexual acts together before I find out. I had the former come up with my now wife. Prior to being with her, I had been in a poly triad. I was romantically involved with a married woman, and was friends with her husband. He knew and approved of the relationship. Some time after that relationship, I met my wife. A few weeks, a month into the relationship I told my wife about this prior relationship in the poly triad. I wasn't going to not tell her prior to getting married. My wife didn't approve, and felt I was causing this other woman to cheat, spoiling her marriage, and contributing to the breaking of her vows. The subject of open marriage would occasionally come up in our relationship, both before we were married and after. it was never in the context of "maybe we should consider this" but rather in the context of "I can't believe you did that in the past". I feel as I do then; swinging isn't something I have to have. If she wasn't comfortable with it, it would never happen. I never asked her, never suggested, never intimated that I would like her to do so. We got into this because my wife voiced interest rather out of the blue, shocking the heck out of me. I don't feel the way I handled this was in any way dishonest, and neither does my wife, who values truth and honesty very, very highly.

I agree with Alura 100% on this. I’m actually surprised your advice is to hide it and see what happens down the road. This is the complete opposite advice you gave on another thread about being upfront and honest. Fact is he will reduce the field of prospects, however, he also won’t be called a deviant as she walks out the door in 2 years either.