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I wanted to put this out there for newbies. We went to our first last night. Nervous, scared, husband had sweaty palms on the drive there. Was it going to be like a middle school dance? Would anyone even talk to us? Were the popular kids going to ignore us? A little bit about us, married couple 30 plus years. I'm a BBW with some body image issues. Husband can shy. The meet and greet was held at a vanilla bar that had a separate bar upstairs with a live band. The turn out was large. We started mixing and mingling early before the band started. I went from table to table and introduced ourselves. It was wonderful. Everyone was nice and welcoming. Found some interesting people. No one was pushy. Everything I have read, lurked and researched on this board really helped us put ourselves out there. The COOL girls even asked me to dance with them. I felt SO sexy. There were some very beautiful women and men and average people. We had looked up some of the attendees on sls before hand. Let me tell don't let pictures be the whole way to judge couples. I found all were WAY more attractive in person. We did not hook up to play this first time but made some good connections. Emails exchanged already this morning from three different couples. And got invited to a large post Halloween house party. By the time we were ready to leave there was a lot of non vanilla contact and deep kisses all around. Husband could hardly contain his hard on on the drive home after watching me make out with three women and their husband's. I liked watching him kissing too. Luckily this was far enough from our little town we did not feel discretion was compromised. So for being a newbie our first meet and greet was a very good experience. Hope this will help any others having those nervous feelings.

My husband has encouraged me to have his friend stay over when he travels for business. He asked why would I want to be alone at nights. He doesn’t stay as often as he first did even if we do enjoy our nights together. He is not my lover, he is a very good friend who I have relations with. I also have a girlfriend that stays over. My husband has a woman that he sleeps with on business trips. I am happy he isn’t alone all the time when he’s away.

One of my best friends, whom I met in the lifestyle was an escort while swinging with her long-time significant other. Everyone knew she was an escort and nobody cared. After her S.O. died suddenly and far too early, she continued as an escort and also stayed in the lifestyle for a couple of years. She has since left both the lifestyle and escorting and is now with a man who was once one of her clients when she was escorting.

All things being equal Anon I agree with Numex; if your girlfriend is all the qualities you want in a woman, and enjoys sex as much as she does to boot...why not marry her? A self-actualized woman who enjoys sex like she does is a thing to behold, and its wonderful to be part of her life.

For my wife and I, swinging together and alone are both acceptable. Alone happens more than together if only because scheduling is difficult. We have kids, and working out schedules of myself, the kids, my wife, and then add on play partners to boot...it can become a logistical nightmare to organize a time when we can play with others together. We don't do swing clubs anymore, as my wife gets sleepy far too early in the evening for swing clubs, since swing clubs usually kick into high gear around midnight. A fun experience my wife and I had was one time a long term boyfriend of hers who lives out of town was able to come to town but only during the day; he had a prior commitment in the evening (no, he wasn't cheating). She was off that day, the kids were at school, so they had a date planned for during the day. I got to come home at lunch thankfully, and when I walked in the door I was was treated to the joyous sounds of my wife getting a good fucking. We had a great threesome for about half an hour, and then I had to go back to work, leaving them to enjoy each other for the next couple of hours before the kids came home from school. My wife has done two trips with a boyfriend where she spent nights with him. If we had considered this early on in our swinging, it would have been a definite 'no'. Over time, we've become more comfortable with the idea. I agree with Hotwifeswinger; I trust my wife fully, and enjoy her fulfilling her sexual desires. The important thing is to know that she is safe. I enjoy being with her in same room situations for many reasons, not least of which is I really enjoy how her vagina feels after another man has just been inside of her. I also enjoy hearing her tell me stores of an encounter she had with another man earlier in the day. Both are hot

I think there's a fear some people have that your wife getting to play with a far bigger man will result in her leaving you for the other man. Any woman that I cared to be in a relationship would not be as shallow as that. Sure, my wife enjoys a man with a large cock. But, let's say she found some incredibly well endowed man who could barely fit comfortably in her, who gave her unbelievable sex 10x better than anything I ever gave her, who was able to make her cum over and over again...should I be jealous? I don't think so. Personally, I'd be very happy for her that some guy sent her over the moon that much. She makes an active choice to be with me, to be married to me. It's not a choice she made just on the day we got married; it's a choice she continues to make all the time. She could leave me if she wanted to, but doesn't. We constantly work on our relationship to make sure it stays very close, and very stable...because we both like being in our relationship. We don't to lose that. Some gentleman with an enormous cock who gives her phenomenal sex isn't going to change that. Sex is not the bricks of our relationship; just some of the mortar. If you're insecure about your own cock size (relative here; assuming significantly smaller than theoretical large-cock play partner), you shouldn't be. Your wife chooses to be with you. She's coming home with/to you. If you're worried that once your wife has an enormous cock she will never be satisfied with yours again, be at ease. It is highly unlikely this would ever be the case. Women's vaginas are quite capable of passing a baby and then very much enjoy a normal size cock, so it's not a question of your wife being irreparably stretch out or something. It's also not a question of a huge cock making it impossible for your wife to enjoy a normal size cock. If you're worried about how you might react to seeing her with a man who had a huge cock, I wouldn't worry about it. If you're into swinging for the right reasons, you very likely enjoy your wife getting great pleasure from playing. This is no different; if your wife enjoys it, likely so will you. Of all the men my wife has played with in swinging, just one had a truly enormous cock. A couple were large; 8 inches and reasonably thick, but just one was truly huge. This guy's cock was enormous. Quite long, and very thick. She only got to play with him once, but it was all of an afternoon and early evening, with multiple breaks, and multiple sex sessions. She spent a lot of time with his penis in her. An issue we ran into was that condoms were difficult for him, in that it was hard for him to maintain an erection with a condom. It wasn't a story; we saw this in action. This was one time where we agreed to relax our rule about the use of condoms for someone so new to us. He agreed with not using a condom, and things got better after that. The first time my wife took him inside her without the condom, the sounds she made we absolutely delightful. She was thoroughly, thoroughly enjoying his huge penis inside of her. It took some time for her to adjust to his size, and further still for her to adjust to taking his length, but that was part of the delight for her. He was very gentle with her. Later on he was able to thrust inside of her quite vigorously without worrying about hurting her. For my part, I found it incredible to watch that huge penis thrust in and out of her. I'd never seen such a huge penis, and it was fascinating to watch, even though I'm not bi (well, maybe a slight twinge, but 99% hetero). At the end of it all, my wife was thoroughly spent, and slightly sore. She had a very good time. Years on, I still fantasize about that memory, and even now find myself getting hard thinking about it. I asked my wife recently which play partner has been her favorite over the years. Interestingly, this fellow did not enter into the top three. Her number one was a fellow whom she got to play with for a couple of years who had a cock that was a bit smaller than I am. Sadly, he has a girlfriend now who isn't interested in swinging, or for him to have my wife as a girlfriend as well. He respects that, and so my wife doesn't get to play with him anymore. So, the take away from this is that a huge cock shouldn't have a negative effect on you or your wife. If it does, I'd suggest having some very open conversations with her about it, to discuss your feelings and thoughts and work them out together. If a huge cock causes issues, there some heart to heart talk that needs to happen about swinging in general, and not just about swinging with me who have huge cocks.

In our group all the women do oral. How would I feel if someone didn’t? I don’t know because it hasn’t happened. My husband and I don’t have rules. Oral sex has always been part of any sex I’ve had since having sex.

In my exploratory youth I availed myself of a few prostetutes. Cant really criticize them as a group without being hypocritical. Very recently my FWB & I were getting acquainted with a couple & the wife confessed to having been a Lot Lizard in her youth. Neither Cindy or I took it badly, the lady had a lot more history as a mother & machine tool operator. So it was just a bit from her past.

Only if you want it to. And mainly for the husbands.

Level and frequency of desire may diminish as a person ages, but in the case of my wife and some other women I know the orgasmic response increases, at least subjectively, well into their 60s. Unlike most other sports sex may continue to improve pretty late in life.

Both of us do that when the other is traveling. Usually it's with both spouses with another couple, but sometimes it's one-on-one because during the week the other is busy, or even traveling.

Tx, I did not take Padoc's initial post as hostile or homophobic. A little blunt, perhaps, but that is sorta what you get on the interwebs in general. He did make good points. You and your wife are an extremely rare couple. Finding a couple that syncs with you is gonna be awfully tough. And expecting other couples to modify their preferences isn't going to happen, nor should it. Someone, I believe it was couplers, gave good advice. Perhaps the best approach is to look for singles. Fullfill your desires one bite at a time.

Oh come on - just because someone does not agree with your choices does not translate into an extreme or irrational fear. Your choices put you in the extreme minority. Nobody is faulting you for your choices but you've got to come to grips with the fact that most will not want to play with you on account of that. This is not their irrational fear but rather an expression of THEIR DESIRES. Grow up and get over it - the problem lies with your choices and not the rest of the world. On your last point, based on your replies I suspect many would disagree. Sorry for being so blunt, but many people have tried to reply in a thoughtful and respectful way only to have it come to this.

Its not a double standard, its a choice. We don't play with couples with bi men nor do we play with bi single guys. Your choices limit your available demographic. Live with it and quit complaining. Nobody is forcing you into a closet, there are couples who might fit your needs, too bad for you that its a way smaller group than swinging couples in general. And don't talk about tolerance. We're a very tolerant couple. We REALLY don't care how many dicks you suck just don't expect to suck mine or me to suck yours. That's our choice, it reflects our standards and what we want and enjoy. We do not begrudge you your fun we're certainly not "bi-shaming" (whatever the hell THAT is)you, we and apparently others are just not interested in getting naked and playing with bi sexual males. This isn't a civil rights issue, it's a simple choice that couple make for themselves and they have a right to do that.

Just a thought - are you really being ostracized or could it just be that you've been having a problem finding the right groups which you all click well in? Seems to me that coming up with selection criteria which the group is comfortable with works out for everyone. Do you really want to waste an evening with a group that do not share your desires?

I'm totally versatile, but prostate cancer surgery has left me erectionless (maybe I'll get it back, maybe I won't, time will tell. I'm alive so I don't really care!). In the mean time I've embraced the bottom role and it's been great. Either with a dick or a strapon, getting is great! I've never had such intense orgasms. It certainly changes the dynamic, but hey, being flexible is part of the lifestyle!

My ex-wife taught me how to suck cock wearing a strap on dildo. I can swallow an 8 inch dildo balls deep without choking. She was training me to be a submissive bottom sucking cock only and occasionally taking in the ass. She was definitely a voyeur and wanted to watch all the action and perhaps make sure that I was being submissive enough keeping her riding crop available. We wanted to find a safe guy that was hung and STD free but we split up before we could bring the party to fruition. I had no idea of going bi by myself so I let my desires fade.

Hi all. We are doing this right now and it's our first time swinging. My wife is staying with her lover for almost a week. She knew him from before and had him provide all kinds of personal information to us. They are at hotels the entire trip and I have their itinerary. I'm taking care of the kids this week while my wife has fun with him. I have never met him but trust my wife unconditionally. We'll let you know how it works out and share our successes and ways to improve, too. Please feel free to share on our post, too. Thanks and happy holidays.