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I want to expand a bit on what Tricia said. We were at a party a few weeks ago, in the group was a couple that Mrs Doc thinks the husband is very sexy, me, not so much with the other wife. They wanted to go find a room with us. Mrs Doc was VERY enthusiastic. I decided in a split second to go along. My decision was based on several factors, 1. We like them both. 2. We see them out and about at parties and m&g's and even at our publix. 3. My wife was really in the mood and the other couple is adamant that they always play together. 4. While I was not overly attracted to the other wife, she is a nice woman and in effect, she offered herself to me. So, we found a room, Mrs Doc had a good time and the other wife and I had a nicer time than I anticipated. We too opened the Dorito bag so if we see them at another party or a club, I'd go along again. With swinging there is great sex, good sex, or comfortable sex. For Mrs Doc it was great, for me it was comfortable (I worked really hard to make it at least good for the other wife ). In the bright light of the following Sunday morning, we had a nice time, I didn't take one for the team, I didn't unnecessarily reject or hurt another person and my wife and I got laid. All in all, not a bad outcome.

My wife and I have both played alone over the years, but it has been with people we have both known. In my case it has been getting together with a younger woman we both knew and was mainly making out and feeling each other out and sensual massages. My wife has had played long term with our best friend. He and his first wife were the ones who introduced us to swinging in 1986. We have also had threesomes with him for years along with my wife and him having alone time. He is still a good friends even though we don't play with him these days because he has found a new special person. Those things happen and we are happy for him.

This is for Peter. She still loves me but she doesn't care for sex. She doesn't want to talk about sex or remember anything sexual we did in the past. I bring anything up she retells it differently with no sex or nudity all glorious and we are saints. Her girlfriend is just as bad. Her husband says she is the same way. Denying everything ever happened. They both compare everything happening around us as signs that God is coming the end is coming we need to be ready.

So we have hung out with a cool vanilla couple for a few years. Many of our cocktail filled evenings end with a nude soak in their hot tub. There is never any touching or sex in any way - we just enjoy the nudity and drinks while we wind down. Last week, I got out and went inside to pee. When I came back, much to my surprise I saw my husband sitting on the edge of the hot tub and the guys wife was giving him a blowjob. i looked at her husband and asked “are you okay with this?”. He said he has been asking her to go for it for a while and they had discussed it many times as they did know we are swingers. I asked her if she was okay and she said to me do what you want. So I got back in the tub and stood in front of her husband. I guided his hands into my tits and the other into my pussyfooted. i could feel his erection on my ass so I started stroking him. I lifted one leg and rubbed the tip of his penis on my opening. He felt good so I let him penetrate and I sat on him. We watched my husband finish in his wife’s mouth and then he got on the edge and I finished him off while they watched. It turned out to be an incredible and unexpected experience. After a couple of days,I decided to make the move and give her a call and I was relieved to know she was cool with the whole thing. I knew it could go either way. We are supposed to hang out tonight so we’ll see if we definitely have some new swinger friends.

I have found that a lot of women like the look, but prefer for it to be removed before intercourse. The ones who have done it with it on say they don't notice a difference. It is a attention getter and conversation starter, which is the main reason for wearing it to begin with. P.S. The "retrieval process" involves two fingers......

The last post reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw many years ago. It said… "Jesus is coming LOOK BUSY"! Older, I don't know how you can reasonably expect to change this situation on your own. As above, counseling, anti-depressants, HRT or a combination might help. However, if she has started wearing sensible shoes, dark colored mid calf dresses and a black lace veil to church you may not ever get your sex life back.

About 5 years ago when we started Mike and I were going to a party of a few couples and saw pictures of the people going to the party. We knew that based on looks one couple was not for us. We almost didn’t go. You say you had sex with them before. I think I would just suck it up even if I agree that you control your body and shouldn’t do anything you don’t want to do. I’ve read many of your posts and I’m reading you are always pleasing everyone. Your first time you gave into your friend which is fine. Maybe you wanted to experience a woman deep down inside and then you allowed her boyfriend in you. You allowed your husbands friend in your bed because your husband wanted it. You were pressured to let your vanilla girlfriend in your bed when you first said no. My take is you are a pleaser who puts others first. Lioness you sound too smart to allow others to dictate who you are with. You need to take control. You know you do or you wouldn’t ask.

I made friends with some swing partners in the past whom I really connected with, mostly the guys who were single before and now married with vanilla families. We do go out and meet in non sexual contexts, like when they invite me to birthday parties of their kids, or do business, or consult with something that I know he is knowledgable on, etc. While the passion for the LS has faded in them but I have to admit there were times when we "checked each other out" sexually. It is weird that I feel it to be normal and nothing to be guilty about since we originally met on non-vanilla contexts. It simply felt like meeting old friends and sharing old hobbies, Occasionally! RFWOB? (Real friends with occasional benefits) :-)

I have to be honest here, I see that picture and all I seem to think/feel is pain. Call me a prude but with my luck if I ever tried something like that I would probably end up at the local Fired Dept. or ER getting the thing removed…LOL However, I must admit that I am bit intrigued. I am curious as to what something like that does for you. Is it different for each person? Do you find women like it? Hell, at the risk of embarrassing myself, the truth is I have never even tried a cock ring, although I have always been curious to try one. The problem is I know nothing about what to get, what size to get, the proper application, much less the “retrieval process” mentioned by Couplers

In 1986 we were the vanilla couple that our best friends 'initiated' into playing. We were all nudists and me always got together nude in our house. We would always flirt a bit. That time our male friend started massaging my wife on the carpeted floor and I started massaging his wife on the floor across the room. I was very careful where my hands went but also sensual. A few minutes the wife motioned for me to look across the room and my wife and friend were having intercourse. Since she was smiling, my massage became much more than sexual and we had intercourse too. It was a wonderful experience. When we woke up the next morning all my wife and I could talk about was if it had really happened or was just a dream. All we could talk about for the next week was wanting it to happen again, and very soon.

This is one of the few ways that something like this could work - the 'vanilla' couple initiated it. I'm glad you're having a good time with this.

You're not shallow, just not attracted to someone. If they approach you, think back to high school...just tell them that you like them, but not in 'that way'. Just tell them the truth and it almost always takes care of the problem. Since they haven't approached you yet, maybe they are thinking the same thing about you. Don't stress on something that may never even happen and know if it does, a simple 'I'm not interested' usually will take care of it.

Probably more so (in this order) 1. You are a single guy (single guys don't get a lot of response in general because there are so many of them). 2. You have a girlfriend that lives 600 miles away which puts your singleness into question (even tho you say she approves how does anyone really know). In general as a single guy your best bet is probably to respond to other people's ads openly and honestly. Give them a chance to check out your profile and if they are interested, get back to you.