Leaderboard

And I'd like to identify as wealthy but that won't get me a Bentley convertible! OP, many of the regular posters here ARE middle aged, us included. We have met a lot of new couples in our age bracket. The only problem we've found is that while we are grandparents and want to boink grandparents, we don't want to boink people who look like OUR grandparents did at our age.

We went to the out of state club trip, it was amazing. This was a large club over 10,000 sq ft. Velvet Rope in Portland OR. First night was a Friday. They had speed dateing. Good way to break the ice for newbies like us. We ended up with our first MFM with a very nice gentleman. Only problem was I went to the first private room I found it was very small and ended up leaving the door open. Actually turned into a turn on for us having people walk by and watch. Later found the couples only area huge bed with lots of other beds and others playing. We played next to another couple with touching between us women. Wow! Now the second night was a bit overwhelming it was kink night. A lot bigger crowd. Dungeons everywhere. Flogging done to music, very intricate rope bondage, hot cupping and I did a tasting with a violet wand with a little bit of electricity running through me while a woman stroked me lightly.., shoulders, face, hair upper breasts and thighs. What a sensation and I hadn't even had a drink yet. I did get to have one fantasy I want to give my hubby a blow job in public and offer him to another woman. Two women took me up on it. Boy was he thrilled. There was sex everywhere. We mostly wore each other out. About the time we were ready to relax in a hot tub and leave we were invited to join another couple and a trans woman. Boobs, pussy, cocks mouths everywhere blew out minds. To bad we didn't have more time as it was closing time. I think we have lost our shyness. Just talking about the experiences has us all over each other. We are in our late 50s feeling like teenagers with new toys. This weekend heading to a Halloween house party. Can't wait as of many people there we have been chatting with on sls. From wallflowers to wild sex people in a month. Life is Grand.

Mrs Doc blushingly thanks you for the compliment. To answer your question, I think maturity brings acceptance. We love watching 30 something hard bodied couples at the beach or the club and we KNOW that we'd rock their world given the opportunity but we also know that we are not their idea of attractive. We're now at an age where we appreciate the beauty and the experience of mature couples. Yes, there are some wrinkles, more of a muffin-top than a 30-something, graying hair and a lack of desire to wait till 2:00 am to get naked and party. A young guy could boink my wife all night but a mature man will finesse her into multiple squirting orgasms while I do the same to his wife. We both had some serious crotch banging sex in our 20's and 30's but I think what happens at our age is more considerate, more giving, more knowledgeable and probably more satisfying than anything either of us did 30 years ago. And its better too because we can now easily share what we've learned, what we've experienced and what we desire with our friends without jealousy or damage to our marriage. We DID look better by any standard at 35 than we do now but all in all, we're happy and content with the fact that we broke the code sexually and are having way more fun than we thought we would at our age.

We got into swinging when we were in our early 50s. I remember what a turn on it was - for that matter it still is. After decades of monogamy, to be able to appreciate a woman without fear of reprisal. For my wife to have a great time flirting, which was something she did very well until we committed to each other. So, if both people are on the same page, just going with the flow is so liberating!

I'll echo a lot of what's been said. And like adamgunn said, experienced MFM husband here. Like chiccouplexx, I'll sometimes initiate things by beginning to undress my wife for him, with her facing the other fellow. That's never failed as a cue for him to begin playing with her. My wife enjoys me being directly involved. I do de-prioritize myself in it, making way for the other fellow. I want my wife to enjoy him as much as possible, and don't want to interfere with that. If I haven't moved off for a while to just enjoy the view, then I am wherever the other fellow isn't. My wife very much enjoys having the attentions of two men at once. When we first got into this ten+ years ago, she wanted me to always be directly involved. Now she understand I really do sometimes just enjoy watching her have sex with another man. Sometimes that's easier for her to focus fully on the other man for a while.

I appreciate all your responses. They are all good advice. We have had a conference with her preacher who is trained in such things. We found her big problem is guilt for enjoying all the sex she has had with so many men and women in her past 44 years. She just suddenly, some here advised, realized that after the death of her mom,dad and brother that death is around the corner and she suddenly panicked. All her childhood religious teachings hit her hard. Yes, no more swinging or nudity, but he has done well in helping her to except her past. What she does with her life from now on is whats important. Sex isn't a sin. It's a great gift and don't give it up with me. For if she did she would be punishing me, he smiled and said we don't want that, we want him to be happy too and think about his life from here after. He winked at me giving that look that says this goes for you too,mister. He said for her to enjoy the life and the wonderful things God has given her. She is a lot better. Thanks to all.

If I did my math right, that comes out to 4.6% of couples are swingers and are happy with it. I suspect that isn't too far off the mark.

My us we are pretty much on board with GoldCouple. There is something else though. Having a wife whose sex life is based on a religious monogamy is far, far from a bad thing. We fit into that pattern while we were raising our family. The sex was brilliant and inventive. If that is where you end up count your blessings. If it follows scriptural norms for the duties of a couple one to the other and the ideals of relationship also therein it will be a great experience. We only stepped into the lifestyle because I(M) wanted to give my wife more possibilities and to help her to realize in herself the woman that I always saw. We did not do it because there was anything lacking, far from it.

The first couple we met had a man who was very well endowed, big enough that from their pics we just thought they were a scam. This was back when Craigslist was full of scammers. We were looking for a bi female and the pic was a cute female and an endowed male. That screamed scam. I was more excited to see the women play. When they showed up we were amazed. To the question I was nervous for her, she assured me it would be fine. He was an asshole and I laughed when he lasted seconds. Yes she moaned and gasped at first. Here was a man with the tool but couldn’t use it.

Getting over that hump is one of the hardest things to do (we've run into this problem ourselves a few times), but it shouldn't be. At some point one of you just needs to say 'do you mind if I get more comfortable'...if nobody objects, then you (preferably both of you) begin removing some clothes (bonus points if you start removing your partners clothes while they remove yours). If they would have had a problem, they usually say something like 'I think it is just about time for us to go' or something similar. If they don't say anything...game on.

Been here, done that. Ask where in the bible that it says sex isn't suppose to be enjoyable. What about all of the people in the old testament that had multiple wives...and where did it say that was wrong. How about 'forsaking all others'...what does that even mean (not what do we THINK it means). To forsake another person is to leave them entirely, usually in a moment of need. Forsake may mean simply giving something up, such as a way of life or a homeland, for something better or more appropriate. Swinging almost always INCLUDES your partner (in some manor) and if you are doing it right (like you two seem to have done in the past) you didn't abandon or leave the other behind, but did this together as one. Having an affair is wrong because one is doing this without the other and without caring for the consequences...forsaking (or leaving) their partner. Now knowing these things and KNOWING these things are two different things, but she needs to hear them and think about them. Guilt is for something you did that you know was wrong but you did it anyways. God wants us to be happy, not punishing us with guilt and/or remorse, especially when it is something that also makes our partner happy at the same time.

Good thread bump cplnuswing! We too don't ask. There's really not much point. It's a question of assessing the couple or fellow. If you feel you can trust them in as much as you can on a first date, then you would expect they wouldn't be playing if they have an active STD. If they know, and are playing anyway, then they will lie about it. So, asking brings nothing to the table that wasn't already there. We play with condoms. Not that that stop all STDs, but most. Now, it's different if my wife has attracted a new 'boyfriend'; a man she's played with a number of times. She's had a few of those. My wife far, far prefers having a man without a condom for a number of reasons, not least of which is she very much enjoys having a man cum inside of her. With men she's played with a number of times, there comes a moment where we feel it's ok for her to begin having sex with him without a condom. She has a discussion with them prior to this and let's them know what is on her mind. The deal is that she'll play with them without a condom, but she has a right to know if he is having sex without a condom with anyone else. It's not a question of making her boyfriends monogamous to her, but a question of safety and respect. Of the three men she's proposed this to, one just vanished, never to be heard from again. The other two became long term boyfriends spanning years, and my wife never had them wear a condom again. We've both been tested since her last boyfriend found a vanilla girlfriend (much to my wife's dismay; she really enjoyed having sex with him), and are both negative for STDs.

For me the most exciting swinging thing is swapping with a couple (occasionally two), watching my wife fuck another husband while my dick is in his wife, everyone cumming. Then making mad, mad love to my wife.

When it's me in an MFM situation, whether with my wife or another woman, I prefer going second because it's more exciting to watch pre-orgasm than after the post-cum let down. Whether we double team her in any way for any time is always totally up to her. It's both watching a woman enjoy her self and how she responds that's a turn on for me, but I'm also thinking about how it will be with me and her, getting the sloppy seconds.

There are couples who are on the fringes. My wife and I have had friends confide in one of us how he/she had an affair with permission and encouragement of the spouse, lasting from weeks to over a year. Only one of the couples where both spouses did it. It seems like people accept what they see as traditional adultery more easily than swinging.

Join SDC or SLS and set the search parameters to age 50-70 within 100 miles. You will be amazed at the possibilities.

Okay, just what do you consider middle aged? We are both 59, and still consider ourselves young!

This is an easy one, we don't ask them anything. We don't think their business is any of ours just like we don't feel ours is any of theirs. We'll take whatever cautions we feel are appropriate in terms of safe sex, which could mean condoms or just passing on the experience if they had offered up some unsolicited information that caused us concern, but to ask, no. Swinging comes with some risks, and we feel that the risk evaluation is totally on you. That's not to say if you KNOW you have an issue that the responsibility is on you to be up front and honest about that, and we aren't stupid, we know there are those who can't be counted on to do that, but we still don't feel comfortable asking questions about someone's sexual past.

To me enacting fantasies is like a drug. Every time I enact one, the tolerance level goes up, and I need a bit more. So I will narrate only the last one and you can imagine what must have come before. We are at the resort having lunch and three guys want to join us. We gladly let them in and start chatting. While my husband is away, one of them said, "We saw you last night with this guy, and you were fabulous. We watched you having orgasm after orgasm." While thanking him, I said "Did you get an erection?" He said, it hasn't subsided since then. I put my hand to check and it was stiff. "So, you want to fuck me?" I asked. In unison all three replied, "Yes." I asked, "Together or separate." "Is it possible to do it together?" they sang." I looked at my husband and he said, "Your fantasy is about to get real." We fixed a time for 10 p.m. that night. In my room, they showered me and each one took turn to give me one oral orgasm, one penile orgasm and one anal orgasm. Because they were in condoms, none of them wanted to waste their semen inside their condom, they were stiff after all that fucking. At the end they all shagged on me. One in my mouth, one in my boobs and the other on my vaginal mound that trickled down to the floor via my ass.

No matter the age there are plenty of people around who can identify with you. For us this is generally 15-18+or- our age.

Props to you, you understood more of that than I did!

The last post reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw many years ago. It said… "Jesus is coming LOOK BUSY"! Older, I don't know how you can reasonably expect to change this situation on your own. As above, counseling, anti-depressants, HRT or a combination might help. However, if she has started wearing sensible shoes, dark colored mid calf dresses and a black lace veil to church you may not ever get your sex life back.

Well like everything in this lifestyle it is just her personal preference at the age of 35 not to play with men over the age of 50! She is the woman and she is the one who has the power in this lifestyle to make the choices she wants to. Just like a lot of women in their early 30’s are not interested in playing with a guy that is 48 like myself. I don’t take it personal and can totally respect and understand that. If they clearly say on their profile an age limit and I don’t meet it I don’t message them hoping that I am going to be the exception. No reason I should be. I am lucky enough to have someone who is so much younger then me as my partner in life, but I by no means looked for that. It just happened. It does however have an effect on our swinging life finding compatible couples with such a big age difference between us. Doesn’t seem to have near as much of an effect finding singles that are interested in joining us which is pretty okay with us.

Guys over 50? I resemble that!

Closeted for the kids. Good thing bf lives in a nearby but different city.

The older Irish Catholics in the parish in Philly as I was growing up had an adage that said, "the older and closer to death we get the more we go to Mass." With all the deaths your wife has suffered recently might serve to remind her of her own mortality. The adage might apply to her.

I'm the wife. With me it has to do with my chemistry with my partner or partners. If the chemistry is great and I stay lubricated, I can multiple orgasm for hours and the longer it happens the more sensitive I become and quicker I orgasm and more intense and powerful the orgasms become. I have past out before because my orgasms were so fantastic and tense that I was breathing so little or not at all. A few times the chemistry was so bad, I didn't orgasm at all. Just wanted it over with.

My gf loves to suck me while I'm being fucked reverse cowboy

Many women slow down or take a break completely from the LifeStyle when they are raising children. It's logical, the child takes a lot of time and energy. It's possible that after your daughter gets to be a teen-ager and more independent that your wife's interest will recover.

As a man I haven't been able to recover more quickly. But I can tell you my wifes' most intense orgasms have been during swingers play. Like practically passing out, eyes rolling back in her head kinda orgasms. Why, I don't know for sure, but If I had to bet, I'd bet it's a function of a few things. Multiple men paying very close attentions, multiple hands and cocks to play with, the excitement of a "new" lover, the taboo, the sex while staring into your partners eyes. All of it is quite arousing.

You're going to have to find a way to meet like minded people. That means putting yourself "out there" to a certain extent. With the demise of Craigslist personals I think you're pretty much limited to the swinger's websites. This is going to require building a profile, putting up some photos, even if they don't show your face, but most likely at some point sharing some face photos. A club 2.5 hours away is going to be way more discreet in actuality for most people. Make it a long sexy weekend. Shy is a different issue but you will find people in clubs to be pretty engaging as long as you can make yourselves approachable even if you aren't the type to approach others. If she's hot they will come! If you have the personality to break the ice just let her follow your lead and watch how she opens up. Once she realizes she's in control(the women make the rules) she'll likely become more receptive to advances. That's what happened with my wife. She laughs about being a hermit. She really isn't that bad but she's not a social extrovert...Now that she's comfortable with the club setting she's engaging and seductive in that environment. She seems to see it as a challenge and she's pretty damn good at it.

We have played bareback with one couple, and it wasn't a problem. Mr. intuition isn't homophobic at all, nor is he squeamish about body fluids (as long as everyone is healthy, of course!). Would he avoid kissing me after blowing another guy? Hell no. He doesn't have a cream pie fetish or a thing for "sharing" another guy's cum while kissing me or anything like that; he just doesn't mind body fluids. It's sex. It happens. And if it's good enough for his wife to be expected to deal with some other guy's cum on or in her body, why should he be all weird about it? I'm interested to know, too, what it is about other mens' cum that bothers everyone so much.

Frankly I don't see the problem. It's just liquid. We've had 3sums where the other guy's cum splashes on me and I'm okay with that.