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If we meet people it is always in a public place like a pub! We are only going to have them come to our place or go to theirs if everyone is on board to play. If that is the case it doesn’t take long before one or both of us will start kissing our play friends. If they have a no kissing rule we won’t be playing with them anyways. Once sensual kissing has begun the rest just flows naturally. Bad kissers can slow the progress.

Do you enjoy playing with a couple, another man mfm, another woman ffm, a party, or alone with another woman or man? My favorite is my husband and me! Then we have all these other choices. We do party a bunch of times a year especially in the fall as our parties are normally football weekends. I particularly enjoy being with my old college girlfriends. Other times we have visitors to NY and usually it’s girlfriends who will join me and my husband, sometimes couples too. My husband’s best friend joins us often and he often stays with me when my husband travels. I am probably with this friend more than anybody else aside from my husband. I have no romantic attraction to him but enjoy being with him. My husband and I playing in any combination is great and we always have fun. My husband is onboard that I can play alone when he’s away and he can play when he travels. The dynamic is so different when I am alone with our guy friend. BTW I also play alone with my girlfriend who I originally excluded from our play.

SLS, I would say. Not a highly populated area, so may be a little sparse for lifestyle population.

Mr Idaho here. I think that an older couple is willing to take it slower. At 25 I wasn't interested in the journey....just the destination. When you are younger you are interested in getting off. Now I like to enjoy the feelings the look on the Missus face. The flirting gets more risque as the evening wears on the touching gets more bold. I also think there is a lot less jealousy as you get older. I already know who I'm going home with.

I totally agree...and totally don't understand it, but no use denying it, it's a fact. There's also the "I can live with what he/she does as long as I don't have to know about it" group. When I said my 4.6% number was about right, I wasn't including them, but I guess one could argue they should be included. There is knowledge and at a minimum unspoken consent there, although that's tempered by less than full agreement and active participation with the whole concept too.

Mrs Doc blushingly thanks you for the compliment. To answer your question, I think maturity brings acceptance. We love watching 30 something hard bodied couples at the beach or the club and we KNOW that we'd rock their world given the opportunity but we also know that we are not their idea of attractive. We're now at an age where we appreciate the beauty and the experience of mature couples. Yes, there are some wrinkles, more of a muffin-top than a 30-something, graying hair and a lack of desire to wait till 2:00 am to get naked and party. A young guy could boink my wife all night but a mature man will finesse her into multiple squirting orgasms while I do the same to his wife. We both had some serious crotch banging sex in our 20's and 30's but I think what happens at our age is more considerate, more giving, more knowledgeable and probably more satisfying than anything either of us did 30 years ago. And its better too because we can now easily share what we've learned, what we've experienced and what we desire with our friends without jealousy or damage to our marriage. We DID look better by any standard at 35 than we do now but all in all, we're happy and content with the fact that we broke the code sexually and are having way more fun than we thought we would at our age.

Good thread bump cplnuswing! We too don't ask. There's really not much point. It's a question of assessing the couple or fellow. If you feel you can trust them in as much as you can on a first date, then you would expect they wouldn't be playing if they have an active STD. If they know, and are playing anyway, then they will lie about it. So, asking brings nothing to the table that wasn't already there. We play with condoms. Not that that stop all STDs, but most. Now, it's different if my wife has attracted a new 'boyfriend'; a man she's played with a number of times. She's had a few of those. My wife far, far prefers having a man without a condom for a number of reasons, not least of which is she very much enjoys having a man cum inside of her. With men she's played with a number of times, there comes a moment where we feel it's ok for her to begin having sex with him without a condom. She has a discussion with them prior to this and let's them know what is on her mind. The deal is that she'll play with them without a condom, but she has a right to know if he is having sex without a condom with anyone else. It's not a question of making her boyfriends monogamous to her, but a question of safety and respect. Of the three men she's proposed this to, one just vanished, never to be heard from again. The other two became long term boyfriends spanning years, and my wife never had them wear a condom again. We've both been tested since her last boyfriend found a vanilla girlfriend (much to my wife's dismay; she really enjoyed having sex with him), and are both negative for STDs.

I find it sad too. I recall reading something about this. I don't remember the specifics, but far more people get upset with the idea of couples having an open marriage than people who are upset with the idea of someone cheating (other couples, I mean). Anecdotally, I have firsthand evidence of this. An old girlfriend ("Stacy") of mine and I are very close. My wife's always known about her, and there's never been an issue nor would there be. My wife knows I would never cheat, and Stacy would never try anything and hasn't. My wife and I are not averse to emotions developing with longer term play partners, which led eventually to the discussion of possibly renewing the sexual aspect of my relationship with Stacy. My wife was very comfortable with this, so long as there was never any sort of exclusion in the sense that if I were making love with Stacy, and my wife was around, she shouldn't ever feel like she can't walk in on us if she wasn't already playing with us. Now, Stacy had been seeing a man ("Jerry") for quite some time, but it was a FWB situation; they weren't really dating. There was no real relationship that I was aware of, other than just friends who happened to have sex from time to time. What I didn't know know was that Jerry was cheating on his wife to be with Stacy from time to time. I was astonished to learn this from Stacy, but didn't say anything negative; it wasn't my place to judge. She's an adult and can make her own decisions, and doesn't need my approval or disapproval. If she wanted my opinion, she'd ask for it, and she hasn't. The same day she told me this, I told her that my wife and I are non-monogamous, and that she was very comfortable with the idea of renewing a sexual relationship with her. She rejected me out of hand, and said she couldn't accept that...and was even a bit angry with my wife for allowing it. I was and remain boggled to this day. I can't wrap my head around the idea that she would be willing to have sex with Jerry, a married man playing without permission, but unwilling to have sex with me who is playing with permission. It fails any sense of logic. Ok, sure it's complicated that we had had a relationship in the past, I get that. Still. Stacy and I remain very good friends, but we never talk about Jerry or talk about my wife and I being non-monogamous. New rules. C'est la vie.

For me the most exciting swinging thing is swapping with a couple (occasionally two), watching my wife fuck another husband while my dick is in his wife, everyone cumming. Then making mad, mad love to my wife.

There are couples who are on the fringes. My wife and I have had friends confide in one of us how he/she had an affair with permission and encouragement of the spouse, lasting from weeks to over a year. Only one of the couples where both spouses did it. It seems like people accept what they see as traditional adultery more easily than swinging.

And I'd like to identify as wealthy but that won't get me a Bentley convertible! OP, many of the regular posters here ARE middle aged, us included. We have met a lot of new couples in our age bracket. The only problem we've found is that while we are grandparents and want to boink grandparents, we don't want to boink people who look like OUR grandparents did at our age.

This is an easy one, we don't ask them anything. We don't think their business is any of ours just like we don't feel ours is any of theirs. We'll take whatever cautions we feel are appropriate in terms of safe sex, which could mean condoms or just passing on the experience if they had offered up some unsolicited information that caused us concern, but to ask, no. Swinging comes with some risks, and we feel that the risk evaluation is totally on you. That's not to say if you KNOW you have an issue that the responsibility is on you to be up front and honest about that, and we aren't stupid, we know there are those who can't be counted on to do that, but we still don't feel comfortable asking questions about someone's sexual past.

This is the wife replying. I am a multi-orgasmic person during sex to start with. However, there have been times when my husband and I are having an MFM and my husband maybe steps back and decides to watch me and the other male for a bit that I have had multiple orgasms that were very intense due to the heightened sexual intensity at the moment knowing my husband was enjoying watching me being pleased and pleasing him and another man at the same time. Occasionally my orgasms have been a bit more intense during an MFM than sometimes when it's just my husband and myself. There was one time we were roll playing, my husband and I with a vibrator, about a SM I had the hots for and the sex between my husband and I at that moment was so intense, plus the vibrator that it made me gush. It was the very first time I ever gushed. A lot of husbands would have taken offense to that occurring during a roll play situation involving another man, but not my husband. It made him so much more turned on knowing that our roll play about this SM was making me so horny and turned on that it made my body do something it had never done before. The intensity of my orgasms with my husband are always very intense, but at times when he is sharing me with another man they can be even more powerful. Not because the other man is doing a better job, but because I know how turned on my husband is watching me and hearing me getting pleased by another man and me pleasing the other man. For us watching each other and seeing and hearing each other getting pleased by someone else and pleasing someone else is what intensifies our orgasms during that situation.

For me as a man, alone with a woman or FMF with my wife. Although with the people who we play with, it's all good so long as a woman's there. My wife likes alone with a man or woman, or another couple. She likes pussy, the one thing that I can't give her.

Seems more like comparing bananas and peaches....

So, the wife & I paid our first ever visit to a club at the weekend. This was the very first time for us both as we are total newbies to the lifestyle. We had discussed at length over the last few months what we were happy to do, we set boundaries but went with a complete open mind because we weren't exactly sure what to expect but were certain we were not going to go past our limits this time. So we got there & got checked in to our room (this club has separate hotel rooms for those wishing to stop over & it's an hour & half drive for us). We got ready, shirt & trousers for me & our lass in a stunning Basque & stockings under a velvet dress. We were shown round by one of the club staff who was very helpful. By then a few couples had started to arrive so we grabbed a drink & sat down. Now we had already decided about how far we were prepared to go if we met a couple that we liked but we sat & watched for a while just to get a feel for the night & how a club night went. After a few hours a few of the ladies vanished off to the locker room & returned looking stunning....lace, leather, boots, heels ??. There was one couple that caught both of our attention but they seemed very popular with other folk as they arrived so we didn't bother them. We had a look around the play rooms but by then it was getting way too hot for our lass in her outfit so we went back upstairs where she changed into a baby doll & heels & went back down. We found a private play room & went for a cuddle & 20 mins us time & spoke about how we both felt so far & all was great....She felt sexy! That alone made the evening for me as she's ALWAYS been so down & unconfident with her body but seeing her walking around in a club wearing a sexy outfit & not being bothered too much about her body made me so proud of her. She fancied a massage from one of the members who runs the dungeon (his massages are legendary there we were told) so she hopped up onto the table & started to receive a light spanking from this gentleman while I watched (she likes a bit of light bondage so wasn't phased by this). After a few mins of this she beckoned me over & told me to stand infront or her & she gave me the greatest BJ ever whilst she was getting a rub down. To cut a long story short, she ended up naked on her back, with my cock in her mouth, the gentleman playing with her pussy & having both her boobs kissed, sucked & played with by him & another lady that asked to join us. She was in heaven. That was as far as it went other than the pair of us going to our room & having the best sex we've had in many a year. Over all were we happy with how it went??? The answer is deffo yes. It was a great night even if it was slightly daunting to begin with. We know what we want from a night, we know we need to talk to more folk & hopefully that will lead to a bit more fun for both of us. The main thing is Mrs W was happy, her self confidence has grown no end so we can now start on building our experience up. We're planning on going back next month if we can get the time off together but we are in no hurry, we don't want to rush in & ruin the experience. I can see a lot of fun ahead of us both!!!

Me and the wife had dabbled a bit and been to a few swingers clubs but mostly kept to each other and observed. Well last sat night had a nice surprise to it. We entered a club and although it was early we noticed that the crowd was a little thin. Not knowing anyone or how things operated we got a few drinks and settled in by the couch area where we mostly talked, kissed a bit and did some light touching. My wife looked hot as hell, decked out in high heels, a mini skit with no panties and a tight top that really showed off her nice breasts. After a few hot rounds of making out and fondling, we decided to check out the rest of the club. The room in the back consisted of several beds and couches, a few guys were getting blow jobs from their ladies and we watched a bit, but weren't quite ready to join in so we went back to the bar area where our night got interesting. We bellied up next to this couple, lets call them Steve and Amy. Amy was very friendly and we said hello, then asked if they frequented the club often. After some small talk I told them we were newbies, but we both had talked about trying our swinging, but that my wife was nervous. Amy took some real mercy on my wife and gave her the low down about the lifestyle and about how everything is ok if you do what you want and how you want in your comfort zone. We took to them right away. Amy went to ask my wife if she was bi-curious. Knowing that she was, she replied yes and Amy went over to her and gave her a hot kiss that instantly got me hard. My wife was shaking from it, but Amy told her to relax and calmed her down rather quickly. We then talked a bit more, and told them we were going to go and hang on the couches again, as I wanted to see how my wife was feeling about what just happened. She seemed okay with it all and we started making out again, she was so wet so I knew that she enjoyed the kiss. After a little longer I asked if she wanted to go play in the back rooms. She agreed and we went and found a couch. After some kissing and fooling around in the back room Amy came around the corner and started watching us go at it. We both caught a glimpse of her in-between kissing and I knew she was going to make a move. My wife looked at me and said we have company. Amy came in front of my wife and smiled at us both then leaned over to give her a kiss. The both of them made out so passionately I though I was going to cum just from watching them. Amy then leaned over and kissed me too. Then she got on her knees and asked my wife's permission to lick her pussy. My wife had no hesitation and she started going down on her. I went to work kissing her and sucking and playing with her tits. My wife was in heaven even prompting Amy to stop and say she is so wet. We both smiled and Amy said she wasn't stopping till my wife came. My wife orgasmed and then Amy stopped and the two of them kissed even more. My cock was now out and throbbing and my wife was stroking me as she kissed Amy. Amy left and went back to the bar area and my wife sucked me till I finished. We went back to the bar after and talked to them more and said our goodbye. We exchanged numbers and they want to meet us again for more intimate dinner and drinks the next time. I'd love to see my wife and Amy go further next time. The only thing is, we don't find her husband Steve attractive, he's a bit overweight and just not our thing. We don't want to judge but I am sure my wife is not looking to get involved with him. I suppose we will just have to tell them how it is and see what they say. I'm hopeful the ladies can play and then us gents can give it our own ladies good for the next time. Swinging is so much fun, can't wait to try it again.

Its nice that you made a start, good luck as you move along. Something that you might want to consider. Swingers generally tend to be protective of their health, hence the emphasis on condoms that you see in clubs and in many profiles. In a club or other swinging situation the flu IS an STD, one that can ONLY be prevented by the carrier not subjecting potential playmates and even people in the same room to his infection. In your own words, you were "extremely sicK", you were also extremely selfish and inconsiderate.

A couple of things to point out. First, that you said you wouldn't have sex with another woman but you did...bad. NEVER violate rules regardless to what is going on 'at the time'. Don't do that again. What you have kind of said is that the rules don't matter...which leads us to the unprotected sex she had in violation of the rules. You both need to talk about this, reset your rules, and STICK TO them. Second, as already pointed out: you are both still young and (for lack of a better word) not totally mature yet...she is VERY young and inexperienced. Be VERY careful here. Even though you have been together for almost three years, that still doesn't mean that the two of you are totally committed to each other. She is still at an age where she is very emotionally (once again, for lack of a better word) unstable. When you are in your late teens/20's it's very easy to fall 'in love' (since you hardly know what the word means at that age). I would NOT play with the same guy again. I would have never let him know where you lived. Emotions for a young woman can be very confusing at her age and you don't want her misunderstanding what she is feeling. If you want to continue down this path, find different guys and make it a one time event. This guy is...smart, nice, attractive, muscular, attracted to your gf, and hung. Warning flag! I really think you would be better off finding guys for a one nighter and meeting in a neutral location in the future. If you read between the lines of the other responses, they are saying the same think: be very careful, this could be relationship ending if you are not. Until then, as already said, communicate, communicate, communicate.

Hey kids Believe it or not, my bride and I have only been discussing the Lifestyle for maybe six weeks. The lead up time now, that took years. Not because of communication like you might think, it was health issues. She is an eight year survivor of Breast Cancer and she is pretty much just getting back to feeling good. I went shopping for some really sexxxy bodyware for her and we started talking. No drama, no questioning loyalty. Just "Yeah, that would be cool." and down the road we go. We've met a compatible couple with a lot of our same intrests and we are busy planning a visit to the Estate in the very near future. I gotta admit, my best friend is the coolest ever. Bless