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Wow. Florida to north of Albany, New York? You just might thaw out in time for Fall 2020 It's true; depending on where you are, if you're far enough north to get into the North Country, then the population really thins out. Albany metro area is over a million in population, so I guess it depends on how far north you're going. If you're far enough north, then Burlington, Vermont might be your best bet. There's a ferry that crosses over Lake Champlain. The Adirondacks are an exceptionally beautiful part of the country.

I agree, SLS is probably your best bet for that area. As far as we know, there aren't any clubs north of Albany. There is a large group of swingers in CNY around Syracuse that hold regular get togethers. If you're moving to the Adirondacks, you'll probably have to bring your own playmates, the area IS beautiful but sparsely populated. Before you think about getting laid, visit Bass Pro Shops or Cabbalas, and Ace Hardware. You're going to need serious cold weather gear, a snow shovel and a snow blower. I had in laws in Madison County and spent a lot of time at family stuff upstate over the holidays. I was always glad to go home, even eastern Pa was better in winter than upstate NY.

I recommend fleece over down. It's a wet snow. Get an REI co-op membership and make the most of the outdoor life. Wait, that wasn't the question, was it?

Who am I to question why I love seeing my sexy wife sucking and fucking someone else? I’m a compersion junkie and love seeing her in pleasure. Giving blowjobs especially turns her on, how could I not like that?

Getting over that hump is one of the hardest things to do (we've run into this problem ourselves a few times), but it shouldn't be. At some point one of you just needs to say 'do you mind if I get more comfortable'...if nobody objects, then you (preferably both of you) begin removing some clothes (bonus points if you start removing your partners clothes while they remove yours). If they would have had a problem, they usually say something like 'I think it is just about time for us to go' or something similar. If they don't say anything...game on.

Is there any real way to have a true friendship in this lifestyle? A year and a half ago we ventured into this having no idea that friends could be made in this. We just thought it was all sex. This was part of my reluctance for a long time. Friendship is the main thing we seek out in this, before sex. We have repeatedly met couples, gotten to know them, began what seemed like a beautiful friendship, only to have it go to crap a few months later. What is wrong here? Do we have the wrong idea about swinging? I am to the point where I'm ready to quit and just not have any friends. Before this we didn't have that many friends or a social life. Maybe this is why I cling to it so much? If we stop, I'm afraid we will go back to a boring life like we had before. Taking ANY suggestions, comments, or ideas PLEASE! HELP!

My wife and I have been talking about swinging for a couple years now. We had a really bad first experience that really turned us off of swinging for a while. We are starting to talk more about it and what exactly we are both looking for. With that being said my wife asked me what my fantasy would be. After much thought I landed on a couple thing fmf threesome and watching my wife give a stranger a blowjob. My wife’s first question was “why does me sucking off a stranger turn you on” and I could think of a reason why. Which then got me thinking about why it turns me on and that lead me here. So my question to the husbands that have done this is why does watching your wife blowing someone turn you on?

So we have hung out with a cool vanilla couple for a few years. Many of our cocktail filled evenings end with a nude soak in their hot tub. There is never any touching or sex in any way - we just enjoy the nudity and drinks while we wind down. Last week, I got out and went inside to pee. When I came back, much to my surprise I saw my husband sitting on the edge of the hot tub and the guys wife was giving him a blowjob. i looked at her husband and asked “are you okay with this?”. He said he has been asking her to go for it for a while and they had discussed it many times as they did know we are swingers. I asked her if she was okay and she said to me do what you want. So I got back in the tub and stood in front of her husband. I guided his hands into my tits and the other into my pussyfooted. i could feel his erection on my ass so I started stroking him. I lifted one leg and rubbed the tip of his penis on my opening. He felt good so I let him penetrate and I sat on him. We watched my husband finish in his wife’s mouth and then he got on the edge and I finished him off while they watched. It turned out to be an incredible and unexpected experience. After a couple of days,I decided to make the move and give her a call and I was relieved to know she was cool with the whole thing. I knew it could go either way. We are supposed to hang out tonight so we’ll see if we definitely have some new swinger friends.

Thanks everyone for the bleak outlook. Lol very familiar with the area as it is where the male half grew up. SPAC and the track in the summer along with the lake. Winter tubing and skiing at West Mountain. We do need to pick up the cold weather gear though. We don’t think the shorts and flip flops will hold up through winter...ha ha We will try SLS and maybe some of the places that replaced online adds like Craigslist.

It is a beautiful area, but we are not winter fans. Summer is great up there. I recall canoeing on Lake George as a child with my father. Went to Fort Ticonderoga, still have my tri-cornered hat 50 years later. Keep in mind that you are pretty close to Montreal, Canada which is a little bit of France in North America. Also, Saratoga Springs is a beautiful town, please visit it.

Once we've gotten to the "we're alone in a room" stage with MFM partners who are a little reluctant, our go-to has been getting a conversation going about Mrs. E's body or clothing choices and shifting it to sex. Once she's got her top off to show off a bra it's not that big of a step to letting him feel them and giving her a few minutes to warm him up. She had to get more comfortable with herself to get there, but we're yet to run into a guy who has breasts in his face and objects to her undoing his belt.

This post had me thinking that my thoughts of watching has changed over time. We enjoy newbies, primarily couples with the woman with a Bi curious interest. I enjoy watching the reaction the other male has both watching his wife do things she never did before. I can see excitement when they watch the wives play. So many times they are more nervous to have sex in front of their wives.

We will be around the lake George area and as far south as Albany.

Mfm all the way. My wife loves her girl time but we can get that with couples. With mfm, it’s all about her being pleasured as much as possible. She likes dvp too so that’s a huge turn on for me. When the second cock enters her pussy, she turns into an animal. For us, the easiest way to pull it off is her on top in cowgirl leaning over chest to chest with one of the guys While the second enters her doggy style.

Same for us. It totally goes against the myth that a woman is somehow being "used up" or lessened by fucking other men. It makes my wife happy, it seems totally natural, and she is a better wife and sex partner for doing it. Being in there immediately afterwards is a reminder of all this.

It took my SOs zero time to get used to our form of the lifestyle. I was still having sex with Red my ex-fiance when I met David, who is now my husband. We started having sex too, but I didn't stop with Red. David was OK with it from the beginning. But it was I who took a couple of years to get my head around my husband having sex with other women, and even then I was the one who chose the women and it was part of me opening up to my Lesbian side. Now with two other women having joined us to form our family, it seems totally normal, more natural than monogamy.

I just posted about this subject. I told my wife I wanted to watch her suck another guys cock and she asked my why it turned me on and I couldn’t think of why. Something about the thought of her doing makes me crazy.

If we meet people it is always in a public place like a pub! We are only going to have them come to our place or go to theirs if everyone is on board to play. If that is the case it doesn’t take long before one or both of us will start kissing our play friends. If they have a no kissing rule we won’t be playing with them anyways. Once sensual kissing has begun the rest just flows naturally. Bad kissers can slow the progress.

I do think thigh highs are sexy, but put them with a garter belt, and I don't like them as much. It's strange how your eyes are attracted by one thing, and by something similar not as much, and that every set of eyes is different on what catches their interest.

And there there is the "I don't approve, but tell me all about it group," like my sister. As posted previously: "My sister's been married to the same guy for 16 years - and she cheats. Her husband knows she cheats because she "tries" to hide it, but he always finds out about it. It follows a pattern: she finds some guy to whom she is attracted, she sends off signals to him that she is available, they start an affair, her husband "finds out" (she leaves clues), they fight, they fuck, she promises it won't happen again and breaks it off with her lover (fuck buddy or whatever). After a while she gets bored, so rinse and repeat. My sister's done this around a dozen times, and at first I thought that she was the classic marital cheater. And maybe she was in the beginning, but as time goes on I think this is a mutual game. I've seen them together after he finds out about her getting some on the side and they are more lovey-dovey, go out more, and leave the kids at our parents and go on a short vacations together. As far as my sister knows, and she's sensitive to these things, he has never cheated on her. (My sister's philosophy is to let your husband bang you anytime he wants and then demand more so there's nothing left for anyone else.) The only thing that makes me feel that this isn't the normal hotwife (or whatever you want to call it) situation is that their fights seem to be real. I've seen it get physical and he calls her a "dirty whore" and the like."

Hello MD, and welcome! (I've told this story a number of times on this forum, so my apologies for boring the people who've read it before ) When my wife and I started talking about swinging, we were concerned about a lot of things, one of which was "what if we don't have a good time?" We talked about it for a while and agreed it was kind of like dating; some of the people you end up taking to bed just aren't all that fun in bed. Some can be down right boring, and some relationships turn out bad. Swinging, as we've found out, isn't any different really. So, when we decided to try it, we decided that we wouldn't just do it once, if it wasn't great. We'd keep at it for a while with different people and if it still wasn't great, then we'd evaluate and maybe decide it wasn't for us. The first few experiences weren't all that great for her. The first woman I played with was a lot of fun, and I really enjoyed her, but my wife didn't have as good of a time. The second experience was an MFM...she enjoyed it, but it wasn't great. The third experience was an MMFM. In that, there was one fellow who was just fantastic for her. She could not get enough of having his cock in her. The other fellow and I got our turns too, but primarily it was my amazing wife having sex with this one fellow. She made sure we were all taken care of; she didn't neglect either of the two of us, but she spent a lot of the time with this fellow's cock in her. When were done and leaving for the evening and had gotten into the car, my wife said to me "WOW! Ok, NOW I'm a swinger!" and we've never looked back. That was a wonderful experience for her, and really set the tone and bar for future encounters. So, I would encourage you not to judge swinging by one experience, or even a few. Think of it just like dating. Sometimes you're going to have some not so good ones, and even bad ones. When you get a good one, your wife will be in total exstacy. When you find the answer, let me know Seriously, I've puzzled over this myself. I love my wife giving head to another man, and love watching her have sex with another man. I'm here home alone right, and just thinking about it massively turns me on. I can't explain it. I've never been able to explain it, and we've been doing this for ten years. I love watching another man penetrate deep inside my wife, hearing her sounds, watching her movements, and loving it to the fullest. I've given up trying to explain it; it defies all social logic, but it's the most erotic thing I've ever witnessed in my life. I remember an MFM where I was having sex doggy style with my wife while she was giving head to the other fellow who was standing next to the bed. It was intensely erotic! I just couldn't control myself, and had an amazing orgasm. After I was spent, my wife curled up on the edge of the bed and kept right on blowing the other fellow until he came in her mouth. Even with the afterglow of being spent, I was very aroused. So, when it happens just enjoy it and take it all in. It's a wonderful sight to behold.

Okay, just what do you consider middle aged? We are both 59, and still consider ourselves young!

This is an easy one, we don't ask them anything. We don't think their business is any of ours just like we don't feel ours is any of theirs. We'll take whatever cautions we feel are appropriate in terms of safe sex, which could mean condoms or just passing on the experience if they had offered up some unsolicited information that caused us concern, but to ask, no. Swinging comes with some risks, and we feel that the risk evaluation is totally on you. That's not to say if you KNOW you have an issue that the responsibility is on you to be up front and honest about that, and we aren't stupid, we know there are those who can't be counted on to do that, but we still don't feel comfortable asking questions about someone's sexual past.

I orgasm regularly, rarely multiple. Yes, I find it easier and effortless to orgasm with new partners or someone I am meeting again after sometime. I do come with my husband - usually accompanied by a fantasy about someone I have been with or would like to be with.

In 1986 we were the vanilla couple that our best friends 'initiated' into playing. We were all nudists and me always got together nude in our house. We would always flirt a bit. That time our male friend started massaging my wife on the carpeted floor and I started massaging his wife on the floor across the room. I was very careful where my hands went but also sensual. A few minutes the wife motioned for me to look across the room and my wife and friend were having intercourse. Since she was smiling, my massage became much more than sexual and we had intercourse too. It was a wonderful experience. When we woke up the next morning all my wife and I could talk about was if it had really happened or was just a dream. All we could talk about for the next week was wanting it to happen again, and very soon.

This is one of the few ways that something like this could work - the 'vanilla' couple initiated it. I'm glad you're having a good time with this.

It didn't take either of us hardly any time to accept the idea...it took only slightly longer to 'get used' to the idea. For both of us we were married before for over 20 years. Her husband brought up swinging (with friends which is where our strong feelings about NOT swinging with friends come from) in an effort to 'save' their marriage...it didn't. My ex would never even consider the idea of swinging due to the complete lack of trust we had...in fact, any time I went anywhere without her, she accused me of cheating on her. I was raised with a strong Christian upbringing, but I always seem to ask too many questions (and wasn't given very good answers). Why there was so much love in the world, we were 'forced' to limit it to only one person (our spouse)...unless we had children, in which we were limited to our spouse and children...oh, and our parents...and friends, etc (I know, different kinds of love, but isn't love love?). Was love and sex the same thing? (no) We can love others but can only have sex with one person? Also, in the old testament, having multiple wives was common place...why was loving and having sex with more than one wife okay then but not now. Roman bath houses were places where most people would go to 'bathe'...and have sex and this was okay? Why was sex something that was so fun and exciting limited to only one other person? At some point I was always just told 'because that's how it is' (shut up kid, you bother me...) I wanted my next relationship to be based on trust and love so from the start honesty and full disclosure was installed as bedrock. We told each other about our entire sexual history as well as our sexual fantasies. She told me about how her and her ex tried swinging, and , surprising to me, how she didn't have a problem with the swinging part, but just that the relationship was just too far gone when they started. I told her that I didn't think love and/or sex should have limits imposed on them. She said that if I was interested in finding other people to have sex with, we needed to do it together...but I could take the lead in finding them. It took a few weeks to make sure that she was serious and not just saying it to 'appease' me. Then came the over-analyzation (something we both do), long discussions about rules and limits, and the trek of finding another couple that 'matched'. As we took each step, we found that most of our rules, originally set to keep us from damaging our relationship, were unnecessary because we trusted each other (trust is what keeps the 'green monster' away). Okay, now I'm starting to ramble...Love trust and communication...and doing this together, made it easy to accept and enjoy. I know that there are some (most) people who just aren't 'wired' for this, but I think that it's because they don't place a high enough value on the love/trust/communicate part of their relationship. Only the few who have developed wings can ever fly about the rest.

I'd say the bottom line is to establish communication. Laura and I did on our first date. In a four-hour period in which we talked about anything, including our sexual histories. During that phase she remarked, "I can't imagine living your life and only fucking one other person." I agreed and suggested that people who swap mates must have trust in their relationship. She agreed. We went to her apartment and had sex on her living room floor. Then in her bed. We continued that for thirty years.

Hello Jeff, this is the husband typing the response to your questions with the Mrs sitting here next to telling me what her answers are. Yes, her orgasms in swinging situations can be and are often more intense then when it’s just her and I. The reason for this is due to the heightened level of eroticism and sensuality. Some situations are much more erotic then others so it’s not in all cases. The same goes for me. The hotter the situation, the more erotic things are, the more everyone’s level of eroticism is heightened. The Mrs. says the main reason for very intense orgasms in those situations has a great deal to do with the fact that I am there with her sharing in her experience and me being very turned on by watching her with another getting pleased and pleasing them, huge turn on for me which she feeds off of which makes things so much hotter and intense for her and/or me. For us, it’s all about us both sharing in each experience together, enjoying every part of it together and being very turnd on watching each other. Hope that helps answer your questions.

This is the wife replying. I am a multi-orgasmic person during sex to start with. However, there have been times when my husband and I are having an MFM and my husband maybe steps back and decides to watch me and the other male for a bit that I have had multiple orgasms that were very intense due to the heightened sexual intensity at the moment knowing my husband was enjoying watching me being pleased and pleasing him and another man at the same time. Occasionally my orgasms have been a bit more intense during an MFM than sometimes when it's just my husband and myself. There was one time we were roll playing, my husband and I with a vibrator, about a SM I had the hots for and the sex between my husband and I at that moment was so intense, plus the vibrator that it made me gush. It was the very first time I ever gushed. A lot of husbands would have taken offense to that occurring during a roll play situation involving another man, but not my husband. It made him so much more turned on knowing that our roll play about this SM was making me so horny and turned on that it made my body do something it had never done before. The intensity of my orgasms with my husband are always very intense, but at times when he is sharing me with another man they can be even more powerful. Not because the other man is doing a better job, but because I know how turned on my husband is watching me and hearing me getting pleased by another man and me pleasing the other man. For us watching each other and seeing and hearing each other getting pleased by someone else and pleasing someone else is what intensifies our orgasms during that situation.

Entering the life style is a challenge to everything you ever thought you know about life, morality, truth, relationships and love. The biggest test is communication. Forth right, honest, complete disclosure. The separation of sex, in any form from love and the definition of love is a journey. There are trials and hardships. Many, singles and couples (singles have to be true to themselves....the LS is not a dating venue) usually will make rules that make them comfortable.....but mostly to control situations as they venture forth. To offer protective boundaries. Depending on experiences, occurrences and length of time in the lifestyle almost all rules will change.....many go away. Confidence, being self assured, self aware but mostly you achieve the best communication with yourself and your SO. Sharing not hiding. Discussion. Drugs and alcohol tend to create more problems then anything else. Please think on that. So talk this over at length between the two of you. Apologizes are in order. Try again.....