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Maybe you are trying to make the first step too big of one? Instead of focusing on the destination, just enjoy the journey. Go out to a club together, find someone to flirt and dance with. Can be one time, can be many times, each time going a little further. Just take your time and see how that feels and where it leads you, and I think you will find the anxiety easing up. Good luck!

It’s inevitable if you go to parties that one day you will see someone you know. We have seen people from business and others we know but not well. Before posting this I searched and saw others say they have met daughters and sons, in-laws, and others they never expected. I always wondered how I would react. We recently were invited to a house party. We have enjoyed a party at these people’s house before. Big clean house and they do it right. Private bedrooms, play areas with air mattresses, and a kinky room that’s interesting. Stacks of clean towels and robes in a dressing room. The couple who owns the house are older and sweet. They greet every couple at the door with a glass of champagne which I say is so classy. We go to the changing room put our clothes in plastic bins and take a robe. Another couple is in there with us and we start a conversation. I am looking forward to maybe being with them. Mike was very friendly to both and suggested we have a drink together. While at the bar getting to know our new friend I hear “Patty”. Nobody calls me Patty, I am Trish or Tricia, nobody calls me Patty anymore. EXCEPT FAMILY. It’s my cousin, technically a second cousin, my Father’s cousin’s son. We really only see each other at funerals and some family occasions. I don’t know when they got there. They were already in robes too. We had some family talk that chased the other couple to excuse themselves. I really didn’t want to spend the night like this. My cousin is good looking and his wife is also except he is family. Others are already getting busy and we are still talking. So much going through my head. We ended up in a bedroom and playing. Were we wrong? Is this taboo?

I watch a female contestant on the TV show, Wheel of Fortune, and I fantasize, “I’d love to fuck her”. Like this evening’s contestant, Julie. Do you even have such fantasies?

There's sort of a why-what-how series of questions that come into play during an internal conversation (a conversation with yourself). For the "why" aspect, you have to sort out whether you want this for you (curiosity, excitement, whatever) or you are being driven by a desire to please someone else (aka "boyfriend thinks it would be hot!") . Put simply, if the interest/desire is not coming from within you,just stop. No one determines your sexuality except you. For the "what" aspect, you need to sort out what you want the (first) experience to be like. What does that intimate episode look like in your fantasy? Is it anonymous or is there a relationship underpinning the experience? With whom? Having answered that question, what is fueling the anxiety? That you will be judged? That you might not enjoy it? That you might be hurt? Talking it out (to yourself) can be helpful. If you made it to "how", that's a little easier. Person(s), time, place, boundaries, safety. And give yourself permission to back out at any time without fear of disappointing anyone--first and foremost yourself. Good luck.

I've been devoted solely to Brigitte Bardot since I was fifteen. We have an open relationship.

When it's me in an MFM situation, whether with my wife or another woman, I prefer going second because it's more exciting to watch pre-orgasm than after the post-cum let down. Whether we double team her in any way for any time is always totally up to her. It's both watching a woman enjoy her self and how she responds that's a turn on for me, but I'm also thinking about how it will be with me and her, getting the sloppy seconds.

I’m with you on this one

OMG! I think it's pretty hot. My 1st cousin Margaret is a gorgeous redhead who still lives in eastern Pa. A very well raised catholic girl from South Philly, I'd have loved to run into her and her husband at CKS or the Pleasure Garden. This post just triggered a long dormant fantasy!!

Just had to rant a bit. How sucky is it when you dress up to meet a couple, only to be met with track pants or work clothes? We ALWAYS dress up whenever we are about to meet a couple. Especially the Mrs., she does her hair, make-up, sexy clothes etc. We recently met a couple where they commented that if they had known we were dressing up they would have dressed up as well . Luckily this was the first time in a long time this has happened. But back a few years ago the Mrs. would get mad because she would spend the time dressing up, only to be greeted with jeans and a t-shirt. Apparently it's not common knowledge to dress up when you are meeting up with a couple that you might have sex with?

+1 on the Astroglide. Has served us well for vaginal and anal. ymmv.

Here's one of my favorite outfits my wife wears. Very popular. Me, I'm a jeans and t-shirt guy.

My wife and I have been playing for about a year now. We were invited to a private party at a friend's friend's home. Things progressed through the evening pretty well. We knew there were other couples already playing when we arrived. We met a nice couple and before we knew it, were enjoying each other in a large tent the hosts had set up for pleasures. As I was being rode by the wife of this couple and my wife was being serviced by the husband, another couple came walking in the almost darkness and over to join us. Then a scream. Looking up, there stood our 20ish YO daughter, naked as can be with a young guy. Go figure! She ran out and disappeared. I have called her and went to her apartment but she wouldn't answer the door and won't return my calls. Has anyone been caught in the act and how do I handle this?

I'm just a hick Okie, and I'll be quick to admit that my ideas of right and wrong are often different from others. My late wife and I had an agreement with ourselves and our sons that we would never become angry at any question that was asked and that we would always answer it to the best of our ability, no matter how long it took. Both young men know about our hobby, have been told the "rules" we lived by (including that we quit swinging during the times we were working on conceiving them). They seem to have accepted our right to make our decisions. Now that they are of age, if they asked to be included in a swingers event, I'd be hard pressed to tell them they couldn't. I guess I'd have to suggest that they make their own decisions. Of course, I no longer attend swinger functions, so I may be totally unqualified to answer this thread. In my opinion, we too often pass judgement on the actions of others when we know little or nothing about them. Alura

So far, I have been lucky my daughter is under 21. I am half afraid we will run into her sometime. She does not know we swing, but we are open about sex and I know she has enjoyed the company of two men and is bi-sexual...I think it's only a matter of time before she finds the lifestyle.

Unique situation, we have an exclusive group we swing with, no sex outside the "circle". Two years ago found out that the kids within our group have been playing amongst themselves along with a couple other kids outside our group. The young adults know about our extra-curricular activities/relationship as we have been together as a group exclusively for the last 7 years. Can't really fault them, we do make sure that they understand 'our group' time is for us and their 'group time' is is theirs which is to be kept separated. For those who may be in a similar situation my only advise is to be honest with your children and keep the lines of communication OPEN! Jamie

Yes, our daughter swings and our son does occasionally. We used to try and avoid being at the same parties but eventually gave up as it was difficult and inconvenient to keep it up. We all decided it was better to make a conscious decision that "they're my daugher/parents, they have sex, get over it". Now it's not even an issue.

I guess im looking for some (its ok kind of thing). This summer three of my cousins and thier spouses, went with my wife on vacation, we took off on our harleys and had a blast. now let me tell you that none of us have ever done anything sexually with each other, just some flirting and playing around with comments. Anyways, one of the Hotels we stopped at was an out of the way place that was very private, well that night we all went skinny dipping, well one thing les to another and there was some touching and feeling with the others while playing around. No actual sex, but that night the wife and i talked about it and she felt weird about my female cousin touching me, but she said she had fun playing other than that.. Well the next day the subject came up at breakfast and apparently all of them talked night about what happened, and we agreed that we were all adults and other than playing touchy feely, nobody did anything, and nobdy got hurt so we left it at that. Well that night at our next stop, we went to the local bar and had drinks and danced the night away, and finally one of my cousins just came out and said , that him and his wife were talking and they enjoyed what we did the night before and that they wanted to try swinging and they couldnt think of a better group then us to be closer too. since nobody else would think we were doing it. well that conversation went on and finally everyone else opened up that we all had fantanys about wife swapping before. well to cut this off, later that week after some intense conversations, we all did it one night, we all played together in the same room and we enjoyed it. We taked about it the next few days on the way home and we came to the conclusion that we all had fun, nobody got hurt, and it helped us with our fantasy's. So once every other month we have all been getting together to have our fun. everyone is there and we enjoy our night together. So what i would like to know is how do you all feel about the cousins getting together for some fun every now and then?

so my wife and i havent been into swiinging very long. we go into it and then she got pregnant but after the baby was born we both decided we really wanted to pursue it again. so far we have done it with 2 guys we know personally, 1 guy we met online and 1 guy we met at a party. a week ago my brother was staying with us, he is younger than me. we were all at a birthday party for a friend and lets just say a lot of alcohol was involved. when we got home, my wife and i started playing and my brother walked in. he was ready to walk out at first but my wife saw him and didnt seemed bothered so he started watching. this turned into a 3some. while it was happening i was thinkging that it was by far the best most erotic and intense 3some we had done. my wife also seemed very into it. the next day i wasnt sure how she would feel about it since we were all dirinking, and i was hoping it wasnt going to be a event that we all lived to regret. but it was quite the opposite. my wife had the same feelings about it as i did and after talking to my brother about it later i found out he felt the same way. we want to continue, but does anyone feel this is too far over the line? or is anything game in swinging? any opionions are appreciated as we dont want to end up regretting something later donw the road

I'm sure it was a major, major shock to your daughter, not to mention both of you. But, both of you are probably far better equipped to mentally and emotionally handle this shock. My wife and I have discussed this in the past. Our kids are not old enough to make this a potentially reality now, but it could be in the future. Our general idea is that we will of course not in any way look negatively upon a child of ours getting into the lifestyle. We will make sure they understand that. Your daughter, in your situation, may feel a huge shock in part because she probably thinks you have a particular image of her, and seeing her as a swinger just shattered that. Self esteem can plummet. "My God! I don't want to think about what my parents think of me now!" Another issue might be her general unease at her parents seeing her naked and either involved in or soon to be involved in sexual activities. This can be violating to a person. I think how I would approach this is saying "You're a human being, which means you are in part a sexual creature. It's no secret to us that you have sex. We don't need to see it, and we need to work something out to prevent that happening again, but you're not freaking us out by inadvertently proving you have sex. " Another issue could be she has an image of how her parents "are", and seeing her parents having sex with someone other than mom/dad could also have shattered that impression. Kids often think their parents are sticks in the mud, know-nothings, that have sex about once a year and only in missionary position. They are the moral fiber of the family, the backbone. Mom and dad might have dabbled in different things when they were younger, but now they're responsible...the wouldn't do something like that! You could have just destroyed her entire view of you. Our response might be "Now you know something about us you didn't know. We can't undo that. What we can tell you is we're still your parents, we still love you, and everything you thought of us before is more or less true. It's not really affected by what you know now." There's a lot of possible things at play here, which makes yet another issue. Emotional overload. Just toooo many inputs to synthesize at once. A common defense mechanism in that situation is to shut it out, push it away, make it non-existent for as long as possible. Your daughter is a grown woman. You can't hold her hand for everything. She's probably hurt, and may emotionally hurt herself more for the time being by pushing you away, but she probably will be fine in time. I wouldn't push. I'd wait a week or two, and try to contact her again. If necessary, leave a message like "Honey, we're not mad at you, we're not disappointed with you, or anything like that. We're still your parents, we still love you. Please talk with us" There's been threads on this topic from a theoretical stand point before. Some others may post links to them (I hope!)