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Okay so the question I have here is why do fit healthy people that only want to play with others that take their health seriously always get labeled as snobs by so many people in the lifestyle? Are they really bad people, because they want to spend time with others that also have the drive and ambition to eat right and exercise? It is not like they are the way they are, because they are born that way! Everyone can be fit and healthy if they want to be. It takes a strong willed person to do what it takes to keep themselves healthy. I don’t see that as a bad quality in a person at all, but it seems many people think it makes them snobs. We have recently made some big health changes in our lives for ourselves and each other so we can live a long healthy life together and are seeing first hand how much it can improve all aspects of life. Our bodies are changing for the better big time, our energy levels are through the roof and many of our daily chronic pains have all, but disappeared. Neither one of us has ever felt better and there is no turning back. This has made our already great sex life of the charts amazing. Saying that our tastes in others is changing as well. People that care about their health and show it in their appearance are much more appealing to us now and people that clearly don’t just are not our thing. So I guess we must be on our way to snobville and we are okay with that, because honestly our health is way more important then making everyone else happy.

"On the outside looking in".... Might be just the case, If the profile is on SLS you might be showing up on their random matches. They just might be newbies trying to figure out what to do, or to screw to up their courage. When we first started we did just what you describe. We have nothing on the profile open gallery that they couldn't put up in our parish bulletin without embarrassment. If someone might be interested they will find out by first reading our profile.

Taking care of yourself looks a lot like work, and there's always a subset of people who react badly to that. That's true whether you're talking about your career, physical fitness, or anything else. Being a "snob" is about the way you treat others, not simply the way you treat yourself. If someone feels like you're a snob because you're making what you feel are the best choices for yourself, it might be about something they detected in the way you treat them, but it might also really be about the way they feel about themselves. It's worth asking yourself the question to make sure you're coming across the way you want to come across, but I wouldn't pay it too much mind. Something I read years ago about the phrase "putting your health first" made the point very well that if you're going to say that, you've got to be honest about how much you mean it. If you're skipping the gym because you're working late, you're putting something else first. If you're ordering greasy takeout because you didn't plan enough time into your day to cook something healthful, you're putting something else first. There's nothing wrong with that, but people often don't want to be honest with themselves about what they're really doing and it's upsetting when they have to confront it.

I wouldn’t label you a snob. You are entitled to be attracted to another couple for any reason you want. Not every couple is attracted to every couple. You might like tall, short, blonde, brunette, heavy or skinny, and I will say if you are African American nobody is making you date a Caucasian, or maybe you want a mixed race couple. It is up to you. Your body, your choice. Do you only want rich people, your choice. Don’t let any couple label you.

We recently met a couple where we only knew the woman before. She told us that her male friend would be plenty of fun for my wife. We both were thinking he was most likely be big even though she said that want the case. Most of our previous play has centered on two women playing and that led to full swinging. We met our friend and her male friend for drinks at a bar we go to. Our meeting went very well and we agreed to go play. I always feel strange and never am sure how to initiate things. As in previous meetings the girls started and I and the new friend joined in. I definitely didn’t finish too fast even if it was well before my wife and her play partner. I watched them go in and on and I got hard again and went for a second time. I thought I went pretty long and then realized my wife never stopped. I’m figuring they went non-stop for at least two hours. My wife and our friend finally got him to finish after another half hour of oral sex. I felt very inferior that night.

We’ve been chatting with a couple waiting for my wife to be cleared for sexual activity from getting her tubes tied. Normally we wouldn’t drag out chatting so long. The chat was going very well for a couple weeks off and on and they seemed actually pretty patient while she recovered. I asked today about whether we should squeeze in a dinner to get to k ow each other first. He is experienced in the LS and she is pretty new. He said it was ok and they didn’t need courting. So I made a VERY innocent joke. I said “How do you know Jane doesn’t need courting. She’s pretty new after all! “. He suddenly snapped with a sarcastic response and left the chat. She was confused and then explained me questioning his speaking for her rubbed him the wrong way. She then left. One comment that was a tease and GONE after a couple weeks of nice interaction. People suck! The LS makes zero difference that people generally suck. So frustrated right now. So many times stupid crap like this has happened.

As said above, as I get older, orgasms don't come as often or as easily as they did in my 20's. Im happy to still have solid erection on demand and I LOVE playing with a new partner whether I cum or not. Mrs Doc can't take a pounding for hours without ending up with a UTI. She happy with an attentive boink and multiple orgasms. If her partner cums, she's really happy, if he doesn't, she has her limits. If we're playing in the same room, I can tell when she's about done so I'll step in a have the guy tap out. If we're playing in separate rooms, shortly after my partner and I are done, we'll go look in on her quietly because she's hot to watch and to determine if she's had enough. At the end of the night, I don't care either way if there are sloppy seconds but neither of us want her so pounded that she's too sore for reclamation sex.

I really don’t think there is anything to feel inferior about as far as how long you go before cumming! Sex isn’t just about the old penis in the vagina. At least I hope it isn’t for most people out there. You have a mouth and hands use them if your wife is still getting hammered by her play partner. I know my missus has no problem with guys that get busy without using their cock. Since I have got older I have become one those guys that goes for what is probably to long for some people out there. It doesn’t seem to be a problem for my lady, because she is used to it and is blessed with unlimited orgasms herself so as long as I keep going she keep cumming. It does cause us to have to take a day off in between here and there though. As far as playing with other people I do my best to gauge how long the other person can handle it and stop when it becomes obvious they have had enough! There has been many times I don’t cum at all when playing with others in the lifestyle. It isn’t because they are doing anything wrong and I make sure they don’t leave feeling they did. I do not need to cum myself to have a great time as long as the person I am playing with is taking care of I am happy.

Can't fix stupid. Maybe spellcheck was just changing phat to fat...? No, they're stupid and Ms. Padoc is still smokin'.

You should not feel inferior, you’re normal. I am thinking the woman you were with was much luckier than your wife. A session lasting two hours is great if it includes more than just letting a guy go in and on. I would be in pain and I would have quit. I much rather go a few times and rest, even cuddle, between more sex. For me, the first and second time is great. I get diminishing returns after that. 15 minutes then stop, rest, another 10-15 minutes is still great. I can’t imagine two hours non stop.

Lots of percentages and numbers without any kind of foundation. Personal anecdotes can be entertaining and to the point but tossing around conclusions about 95% of women or about all women as a result of your apparently limited and unsuccessful experiences is just silly. With your track record as described above, I'd suggest that 95% of your approach and/or selection process isn't working. We know plenty of women who got into swinging because the idea intrigued them. We know many couples (us included) who came to the decision to try this hobby jointly. And, we know a lot of women, Mrs Doc included, who remain swingers after 10, 15 or even 20 years. We are approaching 20 years and are actively planning an anniversary party involving a hotel suite and 6-8 long term swinging couples we've known for years. Try not to present speculation and unsubstantiated conclusions as facts, it calls into question your credibility.

Look at the bright side: they saved you the time and effort of finding out what they are really like. Finding a great match is HARD, but worth the time and effort when you find it. Charles Schiltz drew a Peanuts a poster that I had when I was in elementary school (WAYYYYYY back then). It had Linus saying 'I love humanity, it's people that I can't stand'. That has always stuck with me. Some people just suck (but the exception are the people on this board)

Talk to them. Just tell them something like you two are taking a step back from swinging but want to continue spending time with them. If you can't talk with people you are having sex with, you probably shouldn't be having sex with them.

My wife would be looking to sneak out the door if some guy was riding her for two hours. I think she would waive the white flag much earlier.

Great program by Lisa Ling! Positive, not judgmental. The people seemed pretty normal and together. It really hit home that these couples love each other, but have an open sex life.

I think there's a fear some people have that your wife getting to play with a far bigger man will result in her leaving you for the other man. Any woman that I cared to be in a relationship would not be as shallow as that. Sure, my wife enjoys a man with a large cock. But, let's say she found some incredibly well endowed man who could barely fit comfortably in her, who gave her unbelievable sex 10x better than anything I ever gave her, who was able to make her cum over and over again...should I be jealous? I don't think so. Personally, I'd be very happy for her that some guy sent her over the moon that much. She makes an active choice to be with me, to be married to me. It's not a choice she made just on the day we got married; it's a choice she continues to make all the time. She could leave me if she wanted to, but doesn't. We constantly work on our relationship to make sure it stays very close, and very stable...because we both like being in our relationship. We don't to lose that. Some gentleman with an enormous cock who gives her phenomenal sex isn't going to change that. Sex is not the bricks of our relationship; just some of the mortar. If you're insecure about your own cock size (relative here; assuming significantly smaller than theoretical large-cock play partner), you shouldn't be. Your wife chooses to be with you. She's coming home with/to you. If you're worried that once your wife has an enormous cock she will never be satisfied with yours again, be at ease. It is highly unlikely this would ever be the case. Women's vaginas are quite capable of passing a baby and then very much enjoy a normal size cock, so it's not a question of your wife being irreparably stretch out or something. It's also not a question of a huge cock making it impossible for your wife to enjoy a normal size cock. If you're worried about how you might react to seeing her with a man who had a huge cock, I wouldn't worry about it. If you're into swinging for the right reasons, you very likely enjoy your wife getting great pleasure from playing. This is no different; if your wife enjoys it, likely so will you. Of all the men my wife has played with in swinging, just one had a truly enormous cock. A couple were large; 8 inches and reasonably thick, but just one was truly huge. This guy's cock was enormous. Quite long, and very thick. She only got to play with him once, but it was all of an afternoon and early evening, with multiple breaks, and multiple sex sessions. She spent a lot of time with his penis in her. An issue we ran into was that condoms were difficult for him, in that it was hard for him to maintain an erection with a condom. It wasn't a story; we saw this in action. This was one time where we agreed to relax our rule about the use of condoms for someone so new to us. He agreed with not using a condom, and things got better after that. The first time my wife took him inside her without the condom, the sounds she made we absolutely delightful. She was thoroughly, thoroughly enjoying his huge penis inside of her. It took some time for her to adjust to his size, and further still for her to adjust to taking his length, but that was part of the delight for her. He was very gentle with her. Later on he was able to thrust inside of her quite vigorously without worrying about hurting her. For my part, I found it incredible to watch that huge penis thrust in and out of her. I'd never seen such a huge penis, and it was fascinating to watch, even though I'm not bi (well, maybe a slight twinge, but 99% hetero). At the end of it all, my wife was thoroughly spent, and slightly sore. She had a very good time. Years on, I still fantasize about that memory, and even now find myself getting hard thinking about it. I asked my wife recently which play partner has been her favorite over the years. Interestingly, this fellow did not enter into the top three. Her number one was a fellow whom she got to play with for a couple of years who had a cock that was a bit smaller than I am. Sadly, he has a girlfriend now who isn't interested in swinging, or for him to have my wife as a girlfriend as well. He respects that, and so my wife doesn't get to play with him anymore. So, the take away from this is that a huge cock shouldn't have a negative effect on you or your wife. If it does, I'd suggest having some very open conversations with her about it, to discuss your feelings and thoughts and work them out together. If a huge cock causes issues, there some heart to heart talk that needs to happen about swinging in general, and not just about swinging with me who have huge cocks.

Wow I hate this topic, but here goes... My husband and I have talked about this a lot along with many of our lifestyle friends. I made the mistake of telling my husband a few years back that he was the smallest of all of my partners. Truth - his penis is statistically average or maybe a bit below - honestly I have no idea. It just happened that most my partners had bigger cocks. No big deal to me and honestly I never really thought about it, but it was a major deal to him so I felt the need to really talk it out since I opened Pandora's box. I tried to relate to him and put it like this - we go to nude beaches, nude resorts and play with a lot of couples and singles. I have seen and played with many naked men. Do I like the way a fit guy looks with a thick, long well-shaped shaped penis - hell yes. Do I like the way a fit guy looks with a smaller well-shaped penis with a tight set of balls - hell yes - actually the second one a little better TBH. As far as sex goes, I think it's like explaining the difference between a well oiled perfect handjob, a long slow blow job with lots of attention to every part, and a nice long penetration session. Each feels amazing and ends with an incredible climax - but each is unique and special in its own way. Do I love the way a long hard thick cock feels as my pussy relaxes, accepts it and it slides all the way in - hell yes. Do I love the way an average sized cock feels as it enters and hits my spot with a nice swollen head - hell yes. Do I love the way a smaller cock feels as it rubs my opening, my clitoris and slides inside me with balls pressed against me - hell yes. Can I climax, and quiver and even squirt a little from each - hell yes. Does each feel different - absolutely. Is one orgasm better than the other- absolutely not. Am I more concerned about the mans passion, attentiveness to me and his stamina - absolutely. Do I love seeing or feeling the cum flow from any shape or sized cock knowing that I helped make that happen - absolutely. Every cock is unique - every one is special. The only thing that matters is having a partner that is willing to give every inch of themselves to me to pleasure and enjoy. I hope this helps guys - your cocks are amazing. Whip.them.out, get them hard and make somebody happy! Keep it clean, keep it groomed and keep it hard!

Speaking as a married-but-solo guy myself, I think it makes sense to "hear it from the spouse" before doing anything more than a little flirting. This can be hard to accomplish if you meet for the first time in a club, especially if the club has a "hookup" vibe -- if people go there hoping to play that very night. I'm hoping that the local meet-and-greet that's coming up in a couple of weeks will be a better starting point for me. I'm hoping that people there will be more ready to be patient. Because my wife will be happy to meet a few people face to face, for *mutual* reassurance. She just won't want to meet a lot of people all at once, in a setting where she might get a lot of attention herself! Attention she tells me she does not want.

If we didn't meet the spouse we just assume they are cheaters and move on. Safer that way.