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That concept is intriguing. Starting, trying, quitting for whatever reason is not necessarily a failure. It is how we deal with it. If we quit right this moment we would have learned things about ourselves and each other that are to our benefit, if used properly. Life goes on, things change. For me the real test is the same as it always has been. Having and raising children, illness and death of parents and friends, Marriage of children, ourselves aging, the questions are always the same. "How are we as a couple dealing with this one? Are we stronger, closer more fully in touch with our lives or not?"

Lots of percentages and numbers without any kind of foundation. Personal anecdotes can be entertaining and to the point but tossing around conclusions about 95% of women or about all women as a result of your apparently limited and unsuccessful experiences is just silly. With your track record as described above, I'd suggest that 95% of your approach and/or selection process isn't working. We know plenty of women who got into swinging because the idea intrigued them. We know many couples (us included) who came to the decision to try this hobby jointly. And, we know a lot of women, Mrs Doc included, who remain swingers after 10, 15 or even 20 years. We are approaching 20 years and are actively planning an anniversary party involving a hotel suite and 6-8 long term swinging couples we've known for years. Try not to present speculation and unsubstantiated conclusions as facts, it calls into question your credibility.

It finally happened! My wife and I have been to a few swinger clubs, but she only allowed people to watch never touch, this went on for a few years. We were talking and I was explaining the way we should look at is that adding another guy is like me using her toys on her, use it, have fun then put it away. I asked her how about an erotic massage in a nice hotel by me and another guy? To my surprise and excitement, she said she thinks she could do that! My wife is a 42 yr old Colombian with large man-made C cups, thin waist and a med/lg ass. She only had 4 lovers in her past and all of them just did vanilla sex. Boy did I expand her world when we got married LOL! She is absolutely beautiful with a heart of gold, so I wanted to make sure this was amazing but most of all safe. I came up with limits so she would feel comfortable and safe. First, she would be on the massage table, when he came in and she would be blindfolded as she gets embarrassed easily. Second, the guy would not talk unless asked something by me or her. Third, no rough stuff, just gentle massage. I would allow oral and fingering on her by him but oral on him only if she initiated it. Fourth, I told her at the end after we make her cum, I would ask her Green light, Yellow light or Red light? Green would be to continue with sex from both of us, yellow is sex with me only but he can watch and touch, and Red was thank you but he leaves as I want only my husband now. Lastly, I would meet with the guy before the massage and if I felt the slightest hesitation, I would call it off. She liked the rules. I then started looking when “S” PM’d me. He said he was flying into San Antonio on business and was willing to help. We PM’d back and forth while giving me advice as he said he had helped others get introduced into the LS. He answered every question I had so we made plans to meet when he landed and give the massage to my wife later that evening (only time we both had before he returned home). When I met him a few hours prior to the massage he was so polite that my anxiety level went to zero. We again went over the wife’s limits I came up with and he had no problem with any of them. My wife was blindfolded and on the massage table with a towel over her ass when he arrived. He immediately went to the restroom and undressed and washed his hands. When he came out, massage music was playing, and I had those battery powered candles lighting the room. To make her comfortable with another man’s hands on her we started with her neck and back. After about 10 minutes we moved the towel covering her ass and we began to massage her lower half. We moved slow going from her ass back up to her back then down her legs. I bent her knee moving her lower leg inward at an angle and her pussy became exposed to him for the first time. The light from the candles made her already wet pussy glisten. As we rubbed her inner thighs we would graze her pussy lips…..she was SOOO wet. When we flipped her we began working on her breasts. I was getting so turned on watching another man touch my woman. “S” moved nice and slow over her nipples then down her arm as I did the same. Her nipples were becoming hard as we lightly massaged each breast. We went lower toward her landing strip pubic hair but being careful not to go too far in order to drive her wild. When we moved to her legs, we started with her feet then moved up. We bent both of her legs inward at an angle so the bottom of her feet were touching each other…..this opened her pussy wide. We again worked her inner thighs but this time moving our hands right over her pussy lips……this drove me wild seeing him touch her. I then went down on her and she was drenched in her juices, NOT just wet….drenched, and it tasted so good. At that point I looked up at “s” and offered my wife’s pussy to him. He began to eat her out and I saw her mouth open and could tell she was in pure ecstasy. He wrapped his lips around her clit and sunk his fingers deep inside her…..she let out an amazing moan. I got out the clit vibrator and started to tease her clit while “S” bent two of his fingers to massage her g-spot. I handed the vibrator to “S” while I started to massage her breasts and nipples. “S” kept up the fingering mixed with licking until she had the most intense orgasm, I have ever seen her have! She about rolled off the table it was so intense! She motioned for him to stop but continued to twitch for over a minute. After we let her calm down, I moved her to the edge of the table spreading her legs apart and started to fuck her. She was so soaking wet I slid right in. I looked over and she had “S” cock in her hand slowly playing with it…..I had to think of baseball in order not to cum right there LOL!! “S” then moved to the head of the table to hold her head as it was falling off the table…..what a gentleman! She grabbed his arms and had another orgasm while I came deep in her soaking pussy. “S” smiled at me and quietly left as my wife and I held each other. It was perfect. She told me she LOVED the experience and wants to do it again ?. We went home and fucked two more times. The next day “S” texted me to check on my wife to make sure she was doing good. I can’t tell you enough how much I appreciate “S” in helping us take the next step……thanks man!!……D&J

What's the old saying? 85% of statistics are made up? I don't mean to be harsh Sun&Moon, just that each of us has our personal experiences. Trying to extrapolate from them to apply to an entire population isn't a good idea. In my experience, 100% of women who enjoy swinging. I of course know that does not apply to the entire population. Everyone's take away is different.

As always it’s about communication. Sometimes I want to be fucked slowly and over a long period of time with tons of lube. Other times I want it fast and hard. I always want my partner to come and I don’t want him to finish before i’m ready. I talk to my partner and I make sure he knows what I want and I make sure I know what he wants.

As said above, as I get older, orgasms don't come as often or as easily as they did in my 20's. Im happy to still have solid erection on demand and I LOVE playing with a new partner whether I cum or not. Mrs Doc can't take a pounding for hours without ending up with a UTI. She happy with an attentive boink and multiple orgasms. If her partner cums, she's really happy, if he doesn't, she has her limits. If we're playing in the same room, I can tell when she's about done so I'll step in a have the guy tap out. If we're playing in separate rooms, shortly after my partner and I are done, we'll go look in on her quietly because she's hot to watch and to determine if she's had enough. At the end of the night, I don't care either way if there are sloppy seconds but neither of us want her so pounded that she's too sore for reclamation sex.

I really don’t think there is anything to feel inferior about as far as how long you go before cumming! Sex isn’t just about the old penis in the vagina. At least I hope it isn’t for most people out there. You have a mouth and hands use them if your wife is still getting hammered by her play partner. I know my missus has no problem with guys that get busy without using their cock. Since I have got older I have become one those guys that goes for what is probably to long for some people out there. It doesn’t seem to be a problem for my lady, because she is used to it and is blessed with unlimited orgasms herself so as long as I keep going she keep cumming. It does cause us to have to take a day off in between here and there though. As far as playing with other people I do my best to gauge how long the other person can handle it and stop when it becomes obvious they have had enough! There has been many times I don’t cum at all when playing with others in the lifestyle. It isn’t because they are doing anything wrong and I make sure they don’t leave feeling they did. I do not need to cum myself to have a great time as long as the person I am playing with is taking care of I am happy.

You should not feel inferior, you’re normal. I am thinking the woman you were with was much luckier than your wife. A session lasting two hours is great if it includes more than just letting a guy go in and on. I would be in pain and I would have quit. I much rather go a few times and rest, even cuddle, between more sex. For me, the first and second time is great. I get diminishing returns after that. 15 minutes then stop, rest, another 10-15 minutes is still great. I can’t imagine two hours non stop.

Each has the right to be attracted to whatever appeals to them. There can be no snobbery in that. How you react to and interact with those who do not match your desires/needs is where snobbery both perceived and real exists. Sometimes I think those who fixate on the external package rather than the person as a whole find themselves more prone to that trap.

You dodged a bullet or almost kissed a frog. Either way, be glad you didn't waste more time on them. While nuance and tone are difficult to detect on chat or IM or even emails, sense of humor isn't. We've found that people who can't keep it light, joke a bit or laugh are generally not much fun in the sack. Don't give them a 2nd thought.

Look at the bright side: they saved you the time and effort of finding out what they are really like. Finding a great match is HARD, but worth the time and effort when you find it. Charles Schiltz drew a Peanuts a poster that I had when I was in elementary school (WAYYYYYY back then). It had Linus saying 'I love humanity, it's people that I can't stand'. That has always stuck with me. Some people just suck (but the exception are the people on this board)

My wife would be looking to sneak out the door if some guy was riding her for two hours. I think she would waive the white flag much earlier.